OK THIS IS VERY ....LONG BUT I NEED TO KNOW IF I AM THE WRONG ONE?? PLEASE.. THIS IS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN MY EX HUSBAND AND I.

brooklyn born says:WHAT R U DOING AWAKE?
brooklyn born says:R U THERE?
brooklyn born says:HELLO
brooklyn born says:HELLO
brooklyn born says:NEED TO KNOW IF U CAN GET THE CONFORMATION
brooklyn born says:HELLO
brooklyn born says:DANG
brooklyn born says:I DON'T WANT TO STAY UP WAITING ON U TO ANSWER
shann says:hello?
brooklyn born says:HEY
shann says:hi sorry I had opened up and fell asleep


shann says:sorry went to pee
shann says:lol
shann says:so do I click the purchase confirmation page link is that it?
brooklyn born says:CHECK AND SEE WHAT COMES UP
shann says:I already clicked and have a page with all info on getttin there
shann says:do I go now to confirm link
brooklyn born says:DOES IT HAVE A CONFORMATION NUMBER?
shann says:it saya reference number"
brooklyn born says:GO CHECK UR E-MAIL
shann says:cual? lol
brooklyn born says:THE ONE U R ON NOW
shann says:ok give me a sec ok
shann says:ok what do I do? it is going back to the begining
brooklyn born says:WHAT DO U MEAN BACK TO THE BEGINING?
shann says:this is what you sent me in the email
brooklyn born says:C:\Documents and Settings\Owner\My Documents\conformation.htm
brooklyn born says:CAN U CLICK ON THAT?
shann says:nopee
shann says:something is missing so it wont
shann says:C:\Documents and Settings\Owner\My Documents\My Received Files\conformation.htm
shann says:lol
brooklyn born says:TRY THAT AGAIN
shann says:yea that is what I have with all the password and all
brooklyn born says:IT HAS UR NAME
brooklyn born says:PASSWORD
brooklyn born says:CONFORMATION NUMBER
shann says:yes
brooklyn born says:THE KIDS NAME
brooklyn born says:THE ADDRESS WHERE U PICK UP THE TICKETS
shann says:yep
brooklyn born says:THATS IT
brooklyn born says:JUST PRINT IT OUT
shann says:oh ok I will put it on my resume disk and see if I get the car started today to print it out
brooklyn born says:HE ONLY THING IS THAT I HAVE TO CALL AND FIND OUT ABOUT KATINA
brooklyn born says:I DON'T THINK SHE PAYS BUT I WANT TO MAKE SURE
shann says:SOOOOOOOOO HURRY THE HEC UP MENG
shann says:LOL
brooklyn born says:SHUT UP
shann says:WHATEVAA
shann says:I BRB OK WAIT DINGY
shann says:LOL
brooklyn born says:I JUST SPENT OVER $500 IN LESS THAN AN HR
brooklyn born says:YEAH THATS THE WAY I FEEL
brooklyn born says:I'M GONNA PUT $230 IN BUT DANG
shann says:AY DIDNT WE GO OVER THIS?
brooklyn born says:WHAT?
shann says:THE PRICE AND ALL
shann says:YOU MAKE ME FEEL BAD WHEN U SAY THAT
brooklyn born says:WHY?
shann says:cause i donno you are like dang.
brooklyn born says:THE $230 I WAS TALKING ABOUT IS THE $230 I HAVE IN MY POCKET
brooklyn born says:I HAD TO PAY MY LIGHT BILL
brooklyn born says:IT WAS $73.65
shann says:you know now i donno how im going to pay my insurance
brooklyn born says:IT WAS FOR 2 MONTHS
shann says:oh
brooklyn born says:WHEN IS THAT U GUYS GET HERE?
shann says:wait you put for us to leave here at 8:50pm?
brooklyn born says:YEAH
brooklyn born says:IT GIVE U GUYS TIME
shann says:is that the one you spoke of
shann says:it would of been fine earlier
brooklyn born says:CAUSE U WOLD HAVE TO LEAVE UR HOUSE AT ABOUT 6:30
brooklyn born says:U HAVE TO B AT THE PLACE AT 7:30
brooklyn born saysANYTHING B4 THAT WOULD B PUTTING U GUYS IN A RUSH
shann says:ok
shann says:I will just tell Millie
shann says:man I hope she doesnt back out on me cause she is acting wierd
shann says:like she forgets everything now
brooklyn born says:I HAVE A XMAS PARTY TO ATTEND THE DAY U GUYS GET HERE
shann says:even though I spoke to her abou tit yesterday
shann says:what time?
brooklyn born says:I HAVE TO FIND OUT
brooklyn born says:LET ME SEE WHO CAN GO JUST IN CASE U WANT TO GO OR I'LL JUST TAKE THE BOYS
shann says:no I dont think i will want to go
brooklyn born says:WELL I'LL TAKE THE BOYS WITH ME
brooklyn born says:THEN I HAVE TO DJ ON FRIDAY AND THEN SATURDAY
shann says:m
brooklyn born says:U COULD SEE HOW MESSED UP I AM, I WOKE UP AT 3PM TODAY, HAVEN'T SLEPT YET
shann says:i need to know will i really be able to take off for a couple or not? I really want vacation time kind of for me.. don't think Im being cold or distant.please.
shann says:yea I see
shann says:i wish you wouldnt of had to go through the problems
shann says:i really want to know what you have exactly to learn more about it and justify the need for the surgery more
brooklyn born says:THATS WHY I TOLD U THAT IT SUCKS BECAUSE OF MY SITUATION
shann says:hmm.
brooklyn born says:IF U LEAVE IT PUTS ME IN A SPOT CAUSE THEN UR GONNA LEAVE ME DEALING WITH THEM WHEN I'M IN NO SHAPE TO DO THAT AND I KNEW THAT WHAT U HAD IN UR MIND WAS TO DISSAPEAR AND SEE UR FRIENDS BUT I WANTED TO GIVE U THE BENEFIT OF THE
brooklyn born says:GIVE U THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT THAT U WOULD REALIZE MY SITUATION BUT I FIGURED THAT U HAD UR FRIENDS IN UR MIND AND IF THATS SO IMPORTANT TO U THEN U GO RIGHT AHEAD AND I'LL DEAL WITH WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH
shann says:you know...
shann says:uuuffff I wish I could make you understand what it is I am going through but I don't have the strength
shann says:I do understand your situation
brooklyn born says:SO IF U UNDERSTAND WHY DO U STILL ASK
shann says:I just wish I could maybe have the kids go to thier aunts house or something for at least a couple of day or so
brooklyn born says:U KNOW THAT I CAN'T B WITH THEM ALONE FOR LONG
shann says:because you dont understand
brooklyn born says:I UNDERSTAND THAT U WANT TO BE AROUND UR FRIENDS
brooklyn born says:AND IF I WAS UP TO IT I'LL LET U B WITH THEM CAUSE ITS SO IMPORTANT TO U
shann says:it is not being around my friends that is so important Mike
brooklyn born says:WHAT R U GONNA DO FOR THOSE 2 DAYS
brooklyn born says:RIDE AROUND?
shann says:it is about some timealone due to overwhelming circumstances
shann says:i dont care if it is for sleeping in a hotel .. I just need that time so bad
shann says:i snap at them so easily sometimes and I dispise that
shann says:I find myself constantly explaining my actions and apologizing to them
shann says:they are good kids too
shann says:your son works so hard for school
brooklyn born says:WELL THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS DROP U OFF AT A HOTEL
brooklyn born says:AND LIKE I SAID I WILL DEAL WITH IT
brooklyn born says:U KNOW I TRY TO DO WHAT I CAN DO DESPITE MY CONDITIONS BUT ITS JUST NOT ENOUGH FOR U, U JUST TEND TO WANT MORE
shann says:mike please ok. We have done this in the past. Let the kids stay with titi for a couple of days and that is it. so you and I could take our break. Would that not be ok? I mean that is what I have been asking for since day one of planning.
shann says:I am sorry you can not understand my struggle with this.
shann says:I am not incosiderate to you
shann says:*inconsiderate
shann says:besides your older son is a very good helper. He is very good with his sister and we will all only be there a short time.
brooklyn born says:I'M NOT GONNA THROW MY KIDS AT NANCY FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS, THATS JUST BEAUTIFUL, THEY DON'T GET A CALL FROM US TO SEE HOW THEY R OR TO SAY HELLO BUT WHEN THE KIDS GET HERE THE FIRST THING WE R GONNA DO IS THROW THE KIDS AT THEM
shann says:wow and I am irresponsible
shann says:im not asking for the week im not asking for the entirety of time i am there
brooklyn born says:IF U WANNA DISSAPEAR THEN FINE, I WILL DEAL WITH IT
shann says:now i feel like the negetive one
shann says:i am at utter dismay .. i would only be a phone call away and you know I would come if there is any problems to an uneasy extent. They are yours too Mike. What would be happening to them if I was unstable and you were unable .. what then?
shann says:i wish you would not be angry and comprehend.
brooklyn born says:I KNOW THAT NANCY AND RICARDO MIGHT TAKE THEN FOR A FEW HRS SO THAT THEY CAN PLAY WITH JUNITO BUT ITS NOT FAIR TO LEAVE THEM THERE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS AND BESIDES U DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE PLANNED AND IF MARIA KIDS WILL STAY THERE WITH JUNITO OR WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN
brooklyn born says:HOW R U GONNA GET BACK?
brooklyn born says:WHO'S GONNA BRING U BACK
brooklyn born says:IF UR IN LETS SAY GWINNETT
brooklyn born says:WHOS
brooklyn born says:GONNA BRING U BACK
shann says:I have no problem getting a ride I will be able to
brooklyn born says:A FRIEND, RIGHT?
shann says:please stop being negative.. comon mike it is me ..
shann says:yet not the same in any way you may think ok
brooklyn born says:A FRIEND RIGHT?
shann says:it could be any friend
brooklyn born says:RIGHT
shann says:geez
brooklyn born says:U KNOW WHAT
brooklyn born says:WHEN I PICK U UP I WILL DROP U OFF TO UR FRIEND
shann says:mike why cant we talk
shann says:why do you always know what I want and ignore it
shann says:I am not doing anything to hurt anyone and have not
brooklyn born says:CAUSE U HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN HERE YET AND UR ALREADY THINKING ABOUT TAKING OFF
brooklyn born says:NOT ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT TAKING OFF
brooklyn born says:AND UR NOT GONNA SPEND IT IN A ROOM
shann says:i do think about it
brooklyn born says:UR GONNA B OUT WITH UR FRIENDS
shann says:why is it that one time you spent you vacation and left us all.
brooklyn born says:SO DON'T GIVE ME THAT EVEN IF ITS TO SPEND IT IN A HOTEL
shann says:and I had to deal
shann says:I want to be alone
shann says:and you should understand that and if I do elsewhere .. why should you be against me
brooklyn born says:I SPENT MY VACATION WITH U GUYS
shann says:not always
shann says:you know that
shann says:i have neverrrr had a vacation mike
shann says:you know this
shann says:my only time was having a baby
brooklyn born says:I DIDN'T LEAVE ANYBODY TO B ALONE OR TO B WITH FRIENDS I SPENT IT QUIETLY WITH U GUYS
shann says:everytime i was off was to have a child
brooklyn born says:THE ONLY TIME I LEFT WAS THAT ONE TIME WHEN WE WUR HAVING PROBLEMS AND I EVEN TOOK U THERE AND U STOOD THERE WITH ME
shann says:yes i remember this
brooklyn born says:AND I WAS 1 MILE AWAY
shann says:ut i couldnt say a dang word to you on it and when you left I was left not understanding why we couldnt be together and crying all the damn time
shann says:i mean we always had problems
shann says:we can not get along too well in the same house
shann says:ok
shann says:im sorry and you already spoke to me openly on this
shann says:was that converstation just a front mike ? I mean I thought we spoke about this completely. That is why I was still thinkin on the same level
shann says:you said you understood
brooklyn born says:BUT I WAS CLEAR ON SAYING THAT I WAS IN NO CONDITION TO B ALONE WITH THE KIDS, I HAD TOLD U THAT IT SUCKS CAUSE OF MY SITUATION
brooklyn born says:DIDN'T I TELL U THAT?
shann says:i dont like making people excersize too much sacrifice for me but I will be around and I just need time my goodness there is no one out here for me and then you and i are on a different level and you know this pa.
shann says:after the entire convo?
shann says:mike you dont have to handle too much with the baby believe me and you can go out to work you will be ok. You can go out to eat .. she is no hassle
shann says:she gets in and out of the car by herself too even when her brother tries to help her
shann says:she is a good kid and I know that I wouldnt have to stress much with her
brooklyn born says:I'M GONNA HAVE NENU HAVE TOO B ON HER 24/7 WHILE UR GONE
brooklyn born says:THATS SOUNDS GREAT
brooklyn born says:THATS HOW FAR U WILL GO....................
brooklyn born says:I WANTED TO GIVE U A BREAK WHILE U WERE HERE BUT I DIDN'T THINK THAT U WAS GONNA DISSAPEAR
brooklyn born says:I THOUGHT THAT U MIGHT GO OUT FOR A FEW BUT NOT DISSAPEAR
brooklyn born says:BUT LIKE I SAID
brooklyn born says:GO AHEAD
brooklyn born says:BREAK A LEG
shann says:ay.. wow.. you know.. Nenu is my son and yours.. i even spoke to him and asked him if this would be too much and way off his responsiblity.. and he understands.. maybe because he is here with me most the time and knows.. and you are a grown man mike.. im not disappearing
brooklyn born says:ALL OF A SUDDEN THE FUN OF HAVING U GUYS HERE HAS ALL DISSAPEARED
shann says:i didnt have to even go into super deep discussion and he was like you need it and we always do ok with kati mom.. only for a couple of days and dad will be ok. I am big.. I love my kids and you know this
shann says:why because of Me?? you guys??? me???
brooklyn born says:U KNOW WHAT JUST DO WHAT U WANNA DO
brooklyn born says:ND CALL WHO U HAVE TO CALL SO THAT WAY I DROP U OFF OVER THERE
shann says:Ok. You.. said you knew who I was. I was hoping it was real now finally after so long and yet it feels like it was just words.. You .. know what I try to do and how long I have been fighting with this
shann says:you are the only one that makes me feel guilty for needing a little bit of time in one entire year
brooklyn born says:DAM SHANNON, DO U THINK MY SITUATION IS A GAME
shann says:i even went out with millie and didnt want to do it again
brooklyn born says:DO U ACTUALLY THING THAT THOSE KIDS CAN DO FOR THEMSELVES FOR 48 HRS
shann says:you must think i dont
brooklyn born says:U DON'T
brooklyn born says:CAUSE THIS WOULDN'T EVEN B A SUBJECT RIGHT ABOUT NOW
brooklyn born says:U WOULD OF UNDERSTAND THAT I AM IN NO CONDITION
shann says:wow so you can do absolutely nothing.. you cant cook.. or play video games or nothing with them?
brooklyn born says:U DON'T EVEN KNOW THE STRUGGLES I HAVE TO GO THROUGH DAY BY DAY
brooklyn born says:ONE DAY I CAN WALK
brooklyn born says:THE OTHER DAY I CAN'T
brooklyn born says:ONE DAY I CAN SIT
brooklyn born says:THE NEXT DAY I CAN'T
shann says:yet you can go out to do your job mike..
brooklyn born says:AND U STILL WANT ME TO STAY ALONE WITH 3 KIDS
shann says:comon I understand you act like im a total jerk
brooklyn born says:I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE
brooklyn born saysTHIS JOB PAYED FOR UR TICKETS
shann says:wow if you knew what they had to see with me alone with them
brooklyn born says:I DIDN'T HEAR U COMPLAIN ABOUT THAT
shann says:im not knockin your job
shann says:you.. mike.. were supposed to be the one.. yet you always find this huge amount of hypocresy in me.
shann says:por que
brooklyn born says:I WAS GONNA DO MORE THAN MY BEST TO GIVE U A BREAK CAUSE I KNOW U NEED IT BUT I DIDN'T THINK U WAS GOING TO DISSAPEAR FOR WHAT 2 DAYS
shann says:how can you possibly give me a break if I am there with you all.
shann says:how is it a break
shann says:you say you cant do alone mike
shann says:how?
shann says:you have me so confused
shann says:mi corazon no aguanta el dolor de estar sin comprenderte y todos los cambios y tu a mi
brooklyn born says:I COULD GET UP AND LET U SLEEP AND MAKE THEM BREAKFAST BUT AFTER THAT I WILL HAVE TO LAY DOWN AGAIN
brooklyn born says:I COULD GET UP AND MAKE THEM DINNER
shann says:if you could only see what I had been through here with the kids
brooklyn born says:BUT THEN I WOULD HAVE TO LAY DOWN AGAIN
shann says:they are good with that
shann says:my goodness they love the thought of just being in your house
brooklyn born says:BUT I CAN'T PAY ATTENTION TO THEM ALL DAY
shann says:i have to see a damn phsychologist
brooklyn born says:HOW CAN U PUT THAT MUCH TRUST ON KIDS, THAT MUCH RESPONSIBILITIES FOR THEM TO FEND ON THEIR OWN
shann says:i wish i didnt sound selfish mike i really wish i didnt
brooklyn born says:I KNOW U NEED A BREAK, BELIEVE ME I KNOW BUT I THOUGHT THAT U GETTING OUT OF THERE WOULD HELP ALOT BUT I SEE THAT IT WON'T
brooklyn born says:I THOUGHT THAT BY ME TREATING U GUYS WOULD HELP
brooklyn born says:BUT I SEE THAT IT WON'T
brooklyn born says:AND I WAS PLANNING TO TALK TO NANCY TO SEE IF THE KIDS CAN SLEEP OVER THERE ONE NIGHT SO THAT U CAN GO TO RAULS OR IF THEY CAN GO OVER THERE LATE ON NEW YRS EVE SO THAT U CAN GO WITH ME TO RAUL'S SO THAT U CAN GET A BREAK
brooklyn born says:GO TO THE MOVIES
brooklyn born says:SOMETHING
shann says:yes but with you verdad?
shann says:i care about you a great deal but I wouldnt of minded that
brooklyn born says:CAUSE I FIGURED THAT ME BEING AROUND AND TAKING THE LOAD AWAY FROM U WOULD GIVE U A BREAK
shann says:but not always to be where you are papa
brooklyn born says:O
shann says:this is so hard
brooklyn born says:I KNOW THAT U HAVE OTHER PEOPLE IN MIND AND I HAVE SOME IDEA OF WHO OR WHOM U WANT TO SEE
brooklyn born says:IT BEEN IN UR HEAD SINCE DAY ONE
shann says:it has nothing .. ay
shann says:man pa
shann says:why do you always insist that it has to do with a man
shann says:that is what you are insinuating
shann says:god
shann says:if you only could see through my insides right now mike
shann says:if you only read minds so you would stoppppp
shann says:f8in doubting meee inside
shann says:please stop
brooklyn born says:I'M GONNA LAY DOWN. I'M NOT FEELING TO GOOD NOW
brooklyn born says:I'LL TALK TO U LATER OR WHEN U GET HERE
shann says:yea because you never want to completely believe in me from all the past occurances and my issues
shann says:you always will doubt
brooklyn born says:BABY, I HAVE A HEADACHE AND I'M VERY DIZZY
brooklyn born says:I'M NOT SAYING THIS JUST TO GET OUT OF THE CONVERSATION
brooklyn born says:I'M NOT FEELING TOO GOOD
brooklyn born says:PLEASE BELIEVE THAT I'M NOT FEELING WELL
brooklyn born says:NOT WELL AT ALL
shann says:please
shann says:rest then
shann says:im sorry really
brooklyn born says:DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
shann says:i just pray u see i am not the same ok
brooklyn born says:WE WILL GET THROUGH IT
brooklyn born says:WE ALWAYS GET THROUGH IT
shann says:my hug for u
shann says:rest
brooklyn born says:LUV U
brooklyn born says:BYE
NEED COMMENTS AND HELP AND WTF? HE SAYS "LUV U" ... we are not together and he hasnt even said that on a friend basis for tooooomany years..

I would like to know first what else is going on there? Why can he walk some days and not others? And what exactly is going on with you?

In all honesty we can't really give advice if we don't know whats going on in your heads and in the past...It's not an info for gossip line but if you want honesty you have to be honest and no one is going to judge you here and if they do I'll be the first to call them on it.

Are you working on saving your marriage? Are you sure that you feel completly safe leaving your children alone with him? It may be a wait and see judgement call. Is there anyway you could be there in the morning, leave for the day and come back at night? There's a lot of questions and hopefully a lot of middle ground but without just a basic back ground I'm really leery of giving advice since it could have a lot to do with your children's safety.

Now, for the really honest and brutal part...it sounds like you both want to be heard but your both forgetting to listen. I've been there in my marriage too and still have days like that, how to fix it...NO CLUE in all honesty.

Keep in mind I'm not judging you just making sure I have all the info before I post what I really think.

Stay strong and if need be stop by Nebraska and take your break here...I'll watch your kids. I'd even let you run a background check on me lol.

In all seriousness it sounds like a lot of your issue's stem from depression, insecurity and overwork. It's hard to remember ourselves when we have little ones; but, getting a sitter for a few hours away is not abusive to the children nor does it make you selfish...it's called re-charging!!!!! I've had to do it many times over myself.

I would like to know first what else is going on there? Why can he walk some days and not others? And what exactly is going on with you?
ok sorry maybe I was very hasty with not giving details..
FIRST OFF.. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR ACTUALLY TAKING TIME TO READ ALL ..

My ex is supposed to be trying a new friendship with me because he says.. he wants to help me realize im special now and he messed up a lot.. many women on the side.. even calling my house to where one day I gave up and let them call and would say hold on here he is

yet I decided to leave.. but now that there is a interest in my life.. he is trying harder.. ugg
and he has to have lower back surgery for a herniated disk and therapy

Futs.. thanks for reading also

I have this bad feeling with him. and no I can not go back. he hurt me so very many times. I tried. I went to counseling and left it due to him making it impossible for me to return. he hurt me soo bad. I felt worthless due to our life together. I know he will be fine with the kids because of what I know he does on daily routine daily basis
I also know he just really wants me to stay at his home during the holidays because he wants me back. he has done this before. I have no trust in reality for him. No love the way I used to and No compassion in many ways for his ignorance.

He also had a conversation with me about this earlier last week and promised me he can dish it and wanted me to have free time. now .. he is acting opposite.. hurts to be lied to and he does it alot.:(

Just from what I read, with no background...

To me it sounds like he is being extremely manipulative. He wants you to stay with him during his daddy time. He does not want you to go to friends. He is very subtly insinuating that you'd rather be with friends and that it may be more than that. I don't think you are imagining this.

I also think that he is asuming that you are coming to see him too, and that you will continue to to the mommy stuff the whole time. From what you posted after the first post, renewing this relationship is not in the cards for you. Does he know this? Have you told him? If so, is he listening?

This has the potential to be an emotional fraught trip. Take care of yourself. Bring bubble bath, and a very good book. Bring chocolate. Hug yourself often.
Best wishes to you and your children.

Just from what I read, with no background...

To me it sounds like he is being extremely manipulative. He wants you to stay with him during his daddy time. He does not want you to go to friends. He is very subtly insinuating that you'd rather be with friends and that it may be more than that. I don't think you are imagining this.

I also think that he is asuming that you are coming to see him too, and that you will continue to to the mommy stuff the whole time. From what you posted after the first post, renewing this relationship is not in the cards for you. Does he know this? Have you told him? If so, is he listening?

This has the potential to be an emotional fraught trip. Take care of yourself. Bring bubble bath, and a very good book. Bring chocolate. Hug yourself often.
Best wishes to you and your children.
thank you so much.. this is what I know.. he has always manipulated me into feeling guilt for something I should not. We already spoke up on this issue and it is like he never even listened. You are on the dot with that. I am so disgusted with my having met him and I feel bad for it but it is truth. He has .. yes he has been told to understand that we are not together and there is no love from me that way for him. I do care for him due to being the mother of his children .. That I do not deny. Yet I say to you.. you got me on the dot.. and I will definately have a good book with me.
thanks again:o

Thanks for sharing Charisma, the extra background info is helpful.

I HAVE A XMAS PARTY TO ATTEND THE DAY U GUYS GET HERE
I just don't know what to say. Let's see....xmas party...family....xmas party ....family.
hmmm tough choice!

He talks about you wanting time to yourself and going out with friends , yet he's juggling his family around a xmas party. Gimme a break. I'm sure the damn thing isn't mandatory!

Ok, if he was unfaithful to you why is he so worried that you have "a friend" or something. If he's feeling bad for acting the way he did and you have given him opportunities in the past to make it up to you and he still failed then he needs to get over it.
He should be be happy that you have made a life for yourself outside of his despite the headf.k he put you through right? He should wish you happines, which means not be such an *****$ and making things like this so difficult.

Does he want you there with him to watch the kids, spend quality time and attempt to work things out , just to keep an eye on you, or all of the above?

and 2 days? big freakin deal. What about single moms? There are no sick days, stress days, xmas parties for them right? He needs to grow the F.k up!

sorry to be so harsh , I don't mean to sound judgemental (sorry if I am). It's just that sh.t like this really upsets me in a serious way. Granted both of you need to sit down and be real with each other if you want to work it out..but it sounds to me like you guys are just playing games w/ each other. I'm not a family man or doctor, or a good b/f for that matter so I'm not one to talk but I just think the kids see all of this and it's just not good for them.

There must be some way that you guys can compromise right?

sorry to be so harsh , I don't mean to sound judgemental (sorry if I am). It's just that sh.t like this really upsets me in a serious way. Granted both of you need to sit down and be real with each other if you want to work it out..but it sounds to me like you guys are just playing games w/ each other. I'm not a family man or doctor, or a good b/f for that matter so I'm not one to talk but I just think the kids see all of this and it's just not good for them.

There must be some way that you guys can compromise right?
No you are not being harsh.. truth is what I need and asked for in this thread. Yes he is controlling me again. I feel like I have been completely honest with him and he knows I would not put certain issues against him or in his face .. so to speak.. if I have "a friend" or not. He knows my agenda and that is what most upset me about this entire convo. I could not comprehend what he was doing all of a sudden as if we neverrr spoke on this and clearly might I add
uggg this sucks yet I have even become a great part of his ex's lives due to my open and optimistic views and how I knew he would drop them like he did to me.

and yes.. it is notttt good for the kids..

HE HAS MANAGED TO PUT ME THROUGH YET ANOTHER BAD NIGHT AND MORNING. ALL HE COULD DO WAS RANT AND RAVE AND i FOUND OUT ALL BECAUSE HE WANTED SOMETHING HE WILL NOT RECIEVE
I REFUSE TO DO THIS .. PLAY THIS GAME WITH HIM AND HE WAS TELLING ME OH WELL YOU SHOULD JUST STAY IN NY I WAS LIKE YOU DO NOT JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO OR WHEN AND HOW.. AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL NOT STAY .. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR BICKERING AND REALLY MISS THIER FATHER.. AND WILL!!!! SEE HIM.:mad:
SO THERE DANGIT ..LOL
:rolleyes:

Charis your first responsibility lies with yourself; without a well mommy your kids don't stand a chance in life. So, you tell that SOB that you can and will be civil towards him but he can forget anything more than that and maybe just a little reminder that he put himself in this position not you. Did you ever ask him to sleep around? I highly doubt it. Self esteem is a very fragile thing you have to guard it with your life. DO NOT GIVE THAT SOB THE PERMISSION to touch yours again.

He can take care of his kids, my sister took care of her kids, house, job, yard, husband and his kids when she had her back surgery. All it takes is love, strength and WILL. You take your time for yourself and tell him to kiss you were he should have kissed you years ago!!!!

Yes, if you can't tell I'm really steaming and if I knew this guy would give a piece of my mind left and right, hit him so hard were it hurt he wouldn't know what to do with himself but to crawl in a hole and die. I am not a violent person by nature but I watched my mother go thru this kind of treatment for way too many years. You stand up for yourself and show your son that the way his dad acts is not how a real man behaves and you show your daughters that they don't have to stand for that kind of treatment. Stop the cycle before it even starts.

You left so that shows your strength. You cannot please everyone, so start with yourself and your kids and I would definatly not give him a chance at all it's not like he was trying to please you.

I"m so mad, I'm sorry I know my post is harsh but it's my true feelings on the matter.

Thank you for what you came out saying and don't worry about harsh .. Like I mentioned to speedmania .. it is ok that is what i want to hear. The harsh truth and your real opinion. I am not in Ga and in his house in another room due to certain circumstances. Yet in another room with a sep comp from his and still uncomfortable. I had to take a good shower after the long unfortunately delayed ride here and found many hairs from the woman who recently left his hom. It was kind of frustrating. Yet I am hoping to be out of this stress as soon as I can.
AND YES HE WISHES HE CAN KISS ME WHERE HE SHOULD OF LONG AGO..LOL WISHES ONLYYYY
HAHA
THANKS SO SO MUCH AGAIN REALLY.:)

Thank you for what you came out saying and don't worry about harsh .. Like I mentioned to speedmania .. it is ok that is what i want to hear. The harsh truth and your real opinion. I am not in Ga and in his house in another room due to certain circumstances. Yet in another room with a sep comp from his and still uncomfortable. I had to take a good shower after the long unfortunately delayed ride here and found many hairs from the woman who recently left his hom. It was kind of frustrating. Yet I am hoping to be out of this stress as soon as I can.
AND YES HE WISHES HE CAN KISS ME WHERE HE SHOULD OF LONG AGO..LOL WISHES ONLYYYY
HAHA
THANKS SO SO MUCH AGAIN REALLY.:)

It's really a shame that he never learned to appreciate what he had with you. I've known men like this before and they are never happy, the grass is always greener on the other side. You are doing more for your own empowerment by ignoring his wishes and pleas then you may even realize. This is your time to learn your strengths and to find yourself again. He'll never be able to dictate your emotions or how you live your life again unless you hand him that power. It's your life sis...what are you going to make of it?

<i>QUOTE.....Nucking_Futs</i>
<b>It's your life sis...what are you going to make of it?<!-- / message --><!-- sig --> </b><br>
well that is exaclty what I am doing.. making something I want for my life. I was just discussing this subject earlier today with my best friend. He means the world to me. Our talks are just what I need. And I was just saying that I don't feel it is selfish to put myself or for him to put himself first. We should be our priority.. I mean how much do you need.. to understand that "loving yourself first" is not selfish.. but .. NECCESSARY... hello? lol ya know.. I completely gave up dealing with him. My ex.. he is dealing with the outcome of years of his own doing. I am not going back.. never and will not even think on it.. my reason.. is my life.. my heart needs freedom and now is that time to give it .. give unto my own heart .. some tlc just from me to me.. damnit lol woohooo im freeeeeee.. it hurts some but time... time can heal more than you can imagine..:cool:

I'll let you in on a secret...I once walked in your shoes, so you don't ever have to tell me that sometimes it hurts more then hell or that time can heal all kinds of hurts, anger and pain. I've moved well past my "victim stage" and well into my new life were I'm loved and cherished first and formost by myself but also by a husband who knows when to step up and hold me and knows when to let me be alone. You didn't live with love you lived with lies but someday when your ready (ready beign the key word) you will live with love as well. Good luck I wish you the very best and am here to listen when it hurts like hell and here to celebrate when it feels so good.

thanks .. you are very appreciated...

Charis your a good person. Anyone who remembers to give credit were credit is due and who keeps their life cheerleaders in their thoughts is.

I have no doubt in my mind that there is nothing you can or can't do. Your going to get thru this one way or another and you'll be much stronger in the end. Work on you and your kids and let the rest fall to pieces without you.

Hugs

Charis your a good person. Anyone who remembers to give credit were credit is due and who keeps their life cheerleaders in their thoughts is.

I have no doubt in my mind that there is nothing you can or can't do. Your going to get thru this one way or another and you'll be much stronger in the end. Work on you and your kids and let the rest fall to pieces without you.

Hugs
thanks. this is only a temporary setback for me and now I understand it. I am well on my way sooner than later.. to getting my life to be MY LIFE finally.

Thank you for the kindhearted words.
takecare,

Someone had to let you know that YOU are all right. And in my books you are more than all right...your great!!

Someone had to let you know that YOU are all right. And in my books you are more than all right...your great!!
awwwwwwwwww ok dangit finally feelin it .. cool!! woohoo..

i just read this entire post.....glad you're feeling it.....you definitely deserve to. in my opiinion, the guy was a manipulative, narcissistic, jerk...... you were more than patient.

when i first saw the lines about his physical problems i thought he must have ms or something terrible. a herniated disc? give me a break! i had one of those not long ago, and i can tell you this, while it's no picnic it's not the end of the free world either. you do what you have to do to be a parent to your children.

i hope you keep feeling what futs said. she's one right on, incredible, unending source of inspiration......