Andrew
12-20-04, 07:36 PM
For some, holiday buying can lead to financial disaster.
By Stacey Burling
Inquirer Staff Writer
Maybe getting a job in a department store at Christmastime wasn't such a great idea for a compulsive shopper.
The Delaware County woman, who is so embarrassed about running up more than $30,000 on her credit cards that she doesn't want even her first name used, is finding constant exposure to the stuff and marketing of Christmas far more tempting than she anticipated.
"I saw a ring that was gorgeous while I was working the other day," said the woman, who is seeing a therapist. "It was like 60 percent off and my discount would have gone on that and it would have been really inexpensive... . It took everything I had in me not to ask them if they had it in my size."
While December can be financially stressful for many of us, its inescapable reminders to buy are a siren song to compulsive shoppers - people who sometimes shop themselves into bankruptcy or divorce.
"This is always the time of year where the spending and debting in people's psyches really comes out," says Alan K., who runs a 12-step group in Montgomery County for compulsive shoppers. Attendance for Debtors Anonymous balloons starting Jan. 15, when credit card bills begin arriving.
The man, who asked that his full name not be used, said he's gone to several types of 12-step meetings and is surprised by which addiction has the most stigma: shopping.
"Everyone feels that to be... an upright adult in the community," he said, "you should be able to handle money."
The American Psychiatric Association does not list compulsive shopping in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the official list of psychiatric problems.
But psychiatrists described the condition at the turn of the 20th century, calling it oniomania, said psychiatrist Elias Aboujaoude of Stanford University, who studies compulsive shoppers. Experts say 2 percent to 10 percent of adults suffer from the problem to some degree. Most think far more women than men are shopaholics. Some think easy credit is making the problem worse.
Figuring out who's got a problem in a society that applauds retail therapy can be a challenge. New York psychologist April Lane Benson, who edited a book on compulsive shopping, calls it the "smiled-upon addiction." Most experts say shopping has gone beyond necessity or fun when it feels out of control or causes financial and relationship problems.
Buying sprees can be part of a manic phase in bipolar disorder but most psychologists don't think of that as compulsive shopping. People with bipolar disorder tend to become grandiose, thinking they're rich and powerful enough to afford all the things they're buying. Compulsive shoppers know better.
"They know what they're doing and they know that it's problematic, but they can't stop themselves," said Aboujaoude, who thinks compulsive shopping is an impulse disorder like kleptomania or compulsive hair pulling.
Therapists say compulsive shoppers often feel a kind of high when they're buying, but that feeling is quickly replaced with guilt and anxiety about the cost.
"What people tell me is it's the thrill of the hunt," said Tom Whiteman, a psychologist who runs Life Counseling Services, based in Paoli. "Once you've captured it and bagged it, so to speak, you want something bigger and better."
Lori's weaknesses are crafts and books, small things that add up. The Kennett Square woman, who asked that her full name not be used, maxed out one of her credit cards at $23,000. Recently, she felt compelled to pay $62 for supplies for more tabletop angels than she's likely to complete before Christmas.
"My craft room is just filled with dreams," Lori said. "I have big dreams and no time to do it, which frustrates me even more, so then I go spend."
Therapists said compulsive shopping seems to travel with problems such as depression, overeating or other compulsions. Some say problem shoppers are more likely to have family histories of addiction or to buy things as a way to cope with other underlying problems, like loneliness or bad relationships.
"Most of us, if we experience a loss, we really feel an emptiness and we can feel it very often in the pit of our stomach," said Will Cupchik, a Toronto psychologist who specializes in compulsive shopping and shoplifting. "What happens is we want to fill that hole in our stomach or our psyche.
"I know someone who separated from her husband and went out and bought a horse."
Jewels and sterling silver give Nancy H. a boost when she's feeling depressed or frazzled. One of the 60-year-old Drexel Hill woman's favorite haunts is the QVC Outlet.
"I think that's my way of escaping other problems I'm not ready to deal with. I do two things. I eat and I shop... . They make me feel better," she said. She declined to use her full name.
Ultimately, such shopping is doomed to disappoint. "Obviously, seven pairs of jeans and six pairs of shoes can't fill an internal need," said Deborah Miller, a psychologist at Delaware County Professional Services.
Other therapists, though, say the patients they see have trouble controlling themselves, and that's why they feel bad.
"For every patient who says, 'It relieves my depression,' you find people who say, 'It caused my depression,' " Black said.
At Stanford, Aboujaoude has had success treating compulsive shoppers with Celexa, a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) anti-depressant, and is studying another drug.
Black said results on SSRIs are mixed. He thinks most compulsive shoppers can learn to control their behavior.
Otherwise, advice for compulsive shoppers is consistent. Therapy is helpful. Get rid of the credit cards. Shop with cash only. Take a list and stick with it. Make a budget. Shop with a friend. Steer clear of TV shopping channels. Find other ways to spend your time.
Many therapists think a less materialistic society would help everyone.
"Just like Budweiser has a drink-responsibly campaign," Benson said, "I would like to see if I can gain some inroad into a shop-responsibly campaign."
For more information on compulsive shopping, go to www.debtorsanonymous.org or April Lane Benson's Web site: www.stoppingovershopping.com.
Source: http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/entertainment/10456551.htm
By Stacey Burling
Inquirer Staff Writer
Maybe getting a job in a department store at Christmastime wasn't such a great idea for a compulsive shopper.
The Delaware County woman, who is so embarrassed about running up more than $30,000 on her credit cards that she doesn't want even her first name used, is finding constant exposure to the stuff and marketing of Christmas far more tempting than she anticipated.
"I saw a ring that was gorgeous while I was working the other day," said the woman, who is seeing a therapist. "It was like 60 percent off and my discount would have gone on that and it would have been really inexpensive... . It took everything I had in me not to ask them if they had it in my size."
While December can be financially stressful for many of us, its inescapable reminders to buy are a siren song to compulsive shoppers - people who sometimes shop themselves into bankruptcy or divorce.
"This is always the time of year where the spending and debting in people's psyches really comes out," says Alan K., who runs a 12-step group in Montgomery County for compulsive shoppers. Attendance for Debtors Anonymous balloons starting Jan. 15, when credit card bills begin arriving.
The man, who asked that his full name not be used, said he's gone to several types of 12-step meetings and is surprised by which addiction has the most stigma: shopping.
"Everyone feels that to be... an upright adult in the community," he said, "you should be able to handle money."
The American Psychiatric Association does not list compulsive shopping in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the official list of psychiatric problems.
But psychiatrists described the condition at the turn of the 20th century, calling it oniomania, said psychiatrist Elias Aboujaoude of Stanford University, who studies compulsive shoppers. Experts say 2 percent to 10 percent of adults suffer from the problem to some degree. Most think far more women than men are shopaholics. Some think easy credit is making the problem worse.
Figuring out who's got a problem in a society that applauds retail therapy can be a challenge. New York psychologist April Lane Benson, who edited a book on compulsive shopping, calls it the "smiled-upon addiction." Most experts say shopping has gone beyond necessity or fun when it feels out of control or causes financial and relationship problems.
Buying sprees can be part of a manic phase in bipolar disorder but most psychologists don't think of that as compulsive shopping. People with bipolar disorder tend to become grandiose, thinking they're rich and powerful enough to afford all the things they're buying. Compulsive shoppers know better.
"They know what they're doing and they know that it's problematic, but they can't stop themselves," said Aboujaoude, who thinks compulsive shopping is an impulse disorder like kleptomania or compulsive hair pulling.
Therapists say compulsive shoppers often feel a kind of high when they're buying, but that feeling is quickly replaced with guilt and anxiety about the cost.
"What people tell me is it's the thrill of the hunt," said Tom Whiteman, a psychologist who runs Life Counseling Services, based in Paoli. "Once you've captured it and bagged it, so to speak, you want something bigger and better."
Lori's weaknesses are crafts and books, small things that add up. The Kennett Square woman, who asked that her full name not be used, maxed out one of her credit cards at $23,000. Recently, she felt compelled to pay $62 for supplies for more tabletop angels than she's likely to complete before Christmas.
"My craft room is just filled with dreams," Lori said. "I have big dreams and no time to do it, which frustrates me even more, so then I go spend."
Therapists said compulsive shopping seems to travel with problems such as depression, overeating or other compulsions. Some say problem shoppers are more likely to have family histories of addiction or to buy things as a way to cope with other underlying problems, like loneliness or bad relationships.
"Most of us, if we experience a loss, we really feel an emptiness and we can feel it very often in the pit of our stomach," said Will Cupchik, a Toronto psychologist who specializes in compulsive shopping and shoplifting. "What happens is we want to fill that hole in our stomach or our psyche.
"I know someone who separated from her husband and went out and bought a horse."
Jewels and sterling silver give Nancy H. a boost when she's feeling depressed or frazzled. One of the 60-year-old Drexel Hill woman's favorite haunts is the QVC Outlet.
"I think that's my way of escaping other problems I'm not ready to deal with. I do two things. I eat and I shop... . They make me feel better," she said. She declined to use her full name.
Ultimately, such shopping is doomed to disappoint. "Obviously, seven pairs of jeans and six pairs of shoes can't fill an internal need," said Deborah Miller, a psychologist at Delaware County Professional Services.
Other therapists, though, say the patients they see have trouble controlling themselves, and that's why they feel bad.
"For every patient who says, 'It relieves my depression,' you find people who say, 'It caused my depression,' " Black said.
At Stanford, Aboujaoude has had success treating compulsive shoppers with Celexa, a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) anti-depressant, and is studying another drug.
Black said results on SSRIs are mixed. He thinks most compulsive shoppers can learn to control their behavior.
Otherwise, advice for compulsive shoppers is consistent. Therapy is helpful. Get rid of the credit cards. Shop with cash only. Take a list and stick with it. Make a budget. Shop with a friend. Steer clear of TV shopping channels. Find other ways to spend your time.
Many therapists think a less materialistic society would help everyone.
"Just like Budweiser has a drink-responsibly campaign," Benson said, "I would like to see if I can gain some inroad into a shop-responsibly campaign."
For more information on compulsive shopping, go to www.debtorsanonymous.org or April Lane Benson's Web site: www.stoppingovershopping.com.
Source: http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/entertainment/10456551.htm