View Full Version : X-Fiance has ADD/ADHD?...What to do??


Soul Child
12-21-04, 11:12 PM
Hi:

I seriously really need some guidance from you.

My fiance and I broke off our relationship about 6 months ago. We've known each other for about 10 years. We went out for 6 years including the 2 years we were engaged. We havent talked for the last 3 months and we are thru. It was a mutual choice. We had too many differences and expectations that we couldnt rise above. Its been very very hard for me (and i know this is mutual). I still love her and she always be a part of who i am.

Being outside of our relationship I've just come to realize and strongly believe that my EX may in fact have ADD/ADHD. I'm not a doctor but from what I've researched so far she has a lot of the "symptoms". In fact she has almost all of them. I am not looking for a reason to "get back at her" or for a scape goat to blame for our breakup. I am not perfect. I take 100% responsibility for my part in our break up and continuosly look at the things I should have done and been to make our relationship a happier one. I may not have ADD but I too have my own "disorders" :). I am however extremely concerned about the possibilty that she may have ADD/ADHD.

I am really worried about her current and future life and relationships especially if she has ADD/ADHD and doesnt know it. She is in her late 20s and has the rest of her life ahead of her. I need to know how best to approach this issue with my EX as we have drawn a deep line in the sand that noone is crossing. I am the stereotypical "a-s h-le bad guy" to everybody on her side (ie her family and friends want nothing to do with me). She will not be "open " to this issue and neither will anyone on her "side". In fact some will even see it as a ploy for me to get back in her life :(. There is also a cultural factor at play where something like ADD may not be acknowledged and will be looked down upon.

What should I do and how/when/where should I go about it?

Thanks in advance for any suggestions and advice you may have to give.

God Bless,
Soul Child

paulbf
12-22-04, 11:32 AM
I can't imagine how to get overe the wierd associations but yeah that'd be nice to tell her somehow. Maybe send her one of the self test checklists for her to ponder. The DSM criteria is the most official one although it is designed for children, just google "DSM ADHD" and I'm sure you can find it.