HI and welcome to the OCD forum.

I have OCD. Wow, took me a long time to say that because I was in denial about it. And to tell you the truth, I still am. I found it hard to associate myself with individuals who washed their hands all the time and who always had to check and see if the lights were off or of the door was locked. But, I had very little understanding of OCD. I also have Tourettes Syndrome and for me OCD is a bit different. I am still learning about it. I hope that we can do that here together and always feel free to ask questions. Hopefully, someone here will have an answer. I have a web page and have attached my OCD page in case anyone may need some information.


http://www.geocities.com/energizer_bunny_texas/OCD.html

Hi Bunny hunny! I'm really looking forward to some talks in here.

I was told by a psychologist, before OCD was common knowledge, that I was neurotic. It wasn't until recently that I associated that with OCD. I figured my compulsions were a coping mechanism for my ADD. I check out your web page which took me to the foundation. They listed the obsessions and compulsions, and I have two of each. Obsessions: contamination fears of germs, a need to have things "just so." Compulsions: counting, order/arranging. The bathroom and kitchen are the two rooms that I see germs crawling all over. I don't compulsivly wash my hands after using the bathroom or before preparing a meal, but I fear other's don't. Yuk! I organize my canisters by size, spices alphabetically, etc., and get upset when someone moves them out of order. If there's pens in with the pencils, I go nuts. I have to use the shortest pencil until it's gone, then move on to the next shortest. I count clothes as I put them in and out of the washer and dryer, dishes as I put them away, etc. I've never been diagnosed with OCD, but I'm wondering if I have it.

Hi and welcome to the forum and thank you so much for visiting my web-site that I can never seen to finish.

Yes, in reading what you have told me, it does sound like you have OCD and no, you are not neurotic. Please remember that I am not a doctor and that you need to seek professional advice

Also, I would like you to keep in mind your treatment options and what you would like to do. Decide if it hinders your professional and personal life, yourself, and others around you. Decide what type treatment you want and discuss this with your doctor. Whether medication is an option or not, whether you just want therapy or both medication and therapy. There are some excellent medications that help in the treatment of OCD.

I have not read this book but have been informed of an excellent book called "The OCD Workbook". I am not sure of the name of the author, but you can get it at Barnes and Nobles or order on line. It may be something you would be interested in doing.

I wish you all the best and please let me know how you are doing an if you feel the need to vent, this is a great place to do it at.

Sherry

P.S. I hope that I have no typos or spelling errors.

:p

I have been given this diagnosis...mild case....and exprience thin line between where some ADD symptoms end and OCD symptoms begin...as impulse control is sympom of both....obsess about a thought (ruminating in fact on something) to the point of HAVING to act on that thought..hence obsessive compulsive...I was on a medication used to treat OCD and ADD sometimes as well but mainly OCD...it was Luvox...(Fluvoxamine)....worked very well...side effects were some insomnia but basically relaxed me a bit so was not quite so compulsive....I was able to NOT have to act on EVERY thought...or ruminating itself went away...Some time between thought and action....was result...

Joan

Sherry & Joan,

Thanks for responding.

I'm a stay-at-home mom, so the only thing that hinders my life is my obsession for order. I live with a family of 5 ADDers, including myself. Nothing is ever put back where it belongs, and I lose it a lot. I'm really trying to work on my temper and remember that this is MY problem, but I'm not too successful with it. I used to love to bake, but now it just drives me nuts because I have to look all over the kitchen for what I need. When I had control of my own kitchen, everything had a place and was in it's place. Now people grab and throw it wherever. I'm lucky if I even have counter space to work on.

It takes me all day just to clean one room. I can't just go around and pick things up, dust, and vacuum. I see every little detail and have to fix it. I see every spot on the wall, and have to wash it. I see dirty glass on the pictures and have to pull out the windex. It just goes on and on. By the time I've finished the second room, the first is a mess again.

I had no idea there was medication for this. I think I'll ask my doctor about it. He's very careful about my ADD medicine because of high blood pressure, but maybe there's something I can take. I'll investigate the Luvox and see if that's compatible with hbp, and if so, I'll suggest that to him.

I'm also going to look for the OCD workbook. Like I said, the only thing that gets me worked up is the lack of order in the house. If the workbook helps me with that, I would be happy.

Thanks to both of you for the suggestions. It's great to be able to talk about this to someone who can relate and understand. I mentioned the counting to someone once and got such a wierd reaction that I never mentioned it to anyone else again.

Jean

I went to a conference on Tourettes Syndrome in January. One of the speakers there was Sheryl Pruitt, and she wrote "Teaching the Tiger" One thing that she said that really stood out in my mind when she talked about ocd is that "OCD lies to you in your brain and you have to decipher what is real and what isn't" Also she said that people with OCD do not take in the right information. We take in the negative and forget the positive.

I found her comments helpful and I still find myself dwelling on the fact that she said that OCD lies to you.

Does anyone else have any comments concerning this?

Sherry

LIES to me....Hmmmmm....you mean tells me I'm no good? when I know that's not true? OR tells me I'm working on the wrong thing right now? When I'm pretty sure I'm on track...OR tells me I've just make the wrong decision about something?? When I'm quite sure I've made the right one?

Do you mean it asks me to question myself? Second guess myself? Does it tell me that people don't LIKE me?? when there is no shred of evidence that that is true? and even if there IS shred of evidence of this being true, how do I know it IS true? By my OCD lying to me -- does that mean, it intends to make me paranoid??? Because quite frankly, I suffer from all of this stuff on occasion...it got better with meds. etc. and support but these things are issues for me....anyone relate?????

Joan

:) :confused: :rolleyes: :o

P.S. Sherry, I appreciate your bring this up....:)

Joan

Your welcome and I have thought about the comment about OCD lying many times. I think you just worded it wonderfully. But I consider myself fortunate where my OCD is not that severe and I deal with it without meds, even though sometimes I think I do need meds but I always remember that "This to shall pass"

Sherry

Hy'all, first time posting here. I want to say I have the same diagnosis as ADDelbrained with the ADHD Combined and comorbid OCD. Would love to tell the story of how I got to be able to write that last sentence!

Long story short, I could'nt grasp ADHD because many people with it are so cluttered and messy, almost slobs to put it mildly. So I didnt "fit" the description entirely. Until, that is, I told my psych. about the discrepency. Thats when he said its because I have O.C.D. "Wow, like the people in movies always touching things and using a fresh bar of soap to wash hands every 5 minutes?" Well, I have since come to understand that the reason I am such a complete "neat freak" is due to the compensating nature of my OCD. I require orderliness and geographical placement of things in my enviorment. Stacks of magazines perfectly straight, furniture in a special location, refrigerator organized and lined up,etc. Everyone here gets the idea, right?

Glad to be among friends. And no offense to those who wash all the time-I understand it all so clearly now!

Sherry: Thanks for your comment...I hear you....and yup...this too shall pass...I must all ALWAYS remember that...:)

Mark: WELCOME....I SOO relate....and I think that's why I'm not totally messy either....my OCD compensates....a lot of my life is basically orderly.....I mean you should see my car, for instance....in fact it still looks NEW (and it's 4 years old) and I get car washes....my OCD tells me I MUST have it cleaned BUT my ADD is too disorganized to clean it myself :) um....I relate to the perfect pile of magazines...my professional journals' piles are pretty good piles...and my room is in pretty good order in that I know where everything is and when it isn't I get quite upset...so I understand you..and the combo....thanks for writing....are you being treated for OCD?



Joan:)

Nope, not taking med for OCD. Doesnt seem to impare my quality of life. I almost feel lucky to have it in combination with the ADHD. Sorta balances out.

Your car!!! You should see my office. They jokingly call me "post-it man". I have those bright yellow notes all lined up on my desktop, arranged in descending order from highest priority to lowest. Some may stay there for weeks until I get around to accomplishing what it is that I wrote on 'em. And if I dont write stuff down, it gets forgotten in a matter of minutes. Sheeeesh

Now my briefcase. thats a whole other days worth of discussion....;-)

Welcome to the forum, Mark :)

I, too, must have a place for everything and everything in it's place. My problems is that the other four people in the house (ADD without OCD) are super messy. This drives me nuts! (to put it mildly) They take things, and if they don't leave them lying around, they put them somewhere totally off the wall. By the time I find all the supplies, it has taken me twice as long to do a project. It's frustrating to clean the kitchen and organize everything, just to have it messed up and disorganized five minutes later. I used to spend all day in the kitchen (and everywhere else around the house if I had time) cleaning. I've now trained myself just to pass without looking. But when I go in these rooms to do something, I feel like my brain is going to explode. I look out the window, and the back yard looks nice. I went out today to uncover the plants and do some preparation for the garden. I spent an hour out there just cleaning all the stuff that was thrown on the patio and under the deck. To put it simply, it's not easy to have the need for organization in a disorganized household. Anyone else have this problem? If so, how do you cope? Sorry, I'm not really a whiner. I guess I'm just in a bad mood today. Hope you don't mind if I vent.

Hi mark and welcome to the forum. I can so relate to what many of you are saying.. But for some reason I find that my OCD and my ADHD interfer or offset each other in some ways. Some things I am so picky about it is awful, but something of a similiar nature will be effected by my ADHD.

I have mental obssessions about things that are right and wrong and I get stuck on the thought to the point I get angry at a person or an idea.

The Post it note thingy.....is all ADHD. ADHD'ers are known for it. But thel lining up of the post it notes is OCD. Post it notes are only effected by me cause of the ADHD. The OCD does not come in to play.

Addle, I get so confused sometimes about being organized and not being organized. The ADHD allows me to be unorganized, and then it gets so overwhelming that I have no clue on where to begin, so it ends up piling up. But, at least I have it in a nice meat pile, I just need to go through the pile........

I do have trouble doing things outside the home unless everything is perfect. For example, if I decide to go out, my house as to be just right, I have to look just right. It is very hard to explain.

I wish the Forum had spell check for us OCD people. I hope there are no typos or words not spelled correctly.

And addle, please feel free to vent anytime you want to. That is why this forum is here.

I'm dead sure I have OCD. My symptoms offer differ but often relate to what I read here and in books. And what's strange for me is some symptoms i had when I was 11 or 12 have gone away, while others remain (I'm 27 now). I did see someone, a counselor, concerning depressions and she said much of what I had sounded like ADD and also OCD, but a "formal" diagnosis I didn't get (and besides, unless there is a brain scan they can do to determine what it is how would I really know?) So I'm just curious what people think... it's quite comforting meeting other OCD'ers here because rather or not I really have it, I know these issues i have sometimes really do bother me.

I don't have an obsessition with cleaning although I do take extremely long showers to get everything off me, and at times I do get into cleaning phobias and a need to wash. I am terrified with bathtubs (germs in there, and rust, even though I know better that tubs don't always rust) and ceramic bowls creep me out so I hate eating from them. As a child i used to tear off shirts that had holes in them, and even now if I know a blanket or bedsheet has rips I won't sleep on it or I'll try to avoid it because the tear/rip represents something disgusting to me...

It's like i have a rational mind but I still can't convince myself. Ther repeating is something that never goes away. I used to tap and touch things until it felt just right. I still count out words and numbers over and over to find how many letters there are. That gets annoying at times. I used to stare at my blinking VCR and blink along with it... why I don't know! that still happens on occasion, those kinds of thoughts that I need to get it right, or see the clock on an even number instead of an odd one.

A lot of these thoughts have always centered around a fear of my parents dying if I don't do them correct. The touching/repeating and putting on my right shoe first, or tucking in shoelaces, or straightening and neating items (so light items are on the bottom and heavy ones on top) so that my family won't be "crushed" or hurt or killed. I'm not religious but God used to play a big part in my worries and regrets.

These problems all came to a boil two years ago when I couldn't stop cleaning and getting severly disturbed by my inability to keep things in order, and to throw away items i no longer need (heck I hoarde the wrappers of CD's and DVDs) because I never know if I may need them.. I keep entire newspapers, for pete's sakes! Part of me is worrying about turning into this Howard Hughes recluse, because being social is a problem and my depressions and oddities are too much for me to handle and for others at times..

Well I'm sure these issues go on but I've spilled my guts out here. Look forward to talking to fellow OCD'ers.....

William

William, first of all, Im not a shrink or a neurologist but what you are expressing is classic OCD. OCD is an anxiety disorder, the actions we do and take are a reaction to anxiety and a primitive way to ward it off. I was a balcket and silk rubber, I had a blankie I carried chronically and I rubbed its edge (to this day i still do it) I also used to rub my lip and the length of the bridge of my nose. I bcame : alcoholic, addicted, bulemic at one point, anorexic at another. All was a neurotic answer to controling my enviroment or my situation. Something they are finding, which I really wish I could find the site adress to the study, was that the repeat of an action steadily for twenty minutes had a noticably calming effect and chemical reaction on the brain. Many things and studies are showing some similarities is dopamine use and lackand how some humans seem to react. One thing is almost a need to be stimulated to function...there still isnt a distinct correlation as to why or if this is a solid description. I first remember becomeing trapped in obsessive thinking ( this is conciously aware now, Im not saying I wasnt ocd before this situation) I was very ill and had an extremely high fever. I was delirious, as mother didnt take us to doctors. I was repeatedly counting the tiles in my bedroom ceiling and wishing I could stop but I couldnt, God only knows how long, I lay there for three days like that, and I have no clear recollection of time during this event.I rememebring wishing I could just go to sleep so I could stop counting. While numbers evade me, balance, symetry, ordiliness, addictions etc make up my OCPD ( obsessive compulsive personality disorder, less ritualistic and more into right wrong, left right, black white, rules laws details labels organizing etc) I still to this day have a hell of a time letting go of a technicality in a debate, it is my forte and my downfall. I can't sleep if I feel I was wronged and a technicallity was overlooked. Injustice is intolerable to me, i cant sleep, hate the wait til morning to "fix" it etc (if you call someone you have an issue with at 2 am they tend to have more issue with you, go figger)

Originally posted by mark
I could'nt grasp ADHD because many people with it are so cluttered and messy, almost slobs to put it mildly. So I didnt "fit" the description entirely. Until, that is, I told my psych. about the discrepency. Thats when he said its because I have O.C.D. .............Well, I have since come to understand that the reason I am such a complete "neat freak" is due to the compensating nature of my OCD. I require orderliness and geographical placement of things in my enviorment. Stacks of magazines perfectly straight, furniture in a special location, refrigerator organized and lined up,etc. Everyone here gets the idea, right?

Mark mark mark lemme hug you doooooooood...lol. You are the first person i have met , adhd with co morbid ocd, who went through that whole "making our disorders work for us without even knowing it" thingy

I have AD/HD.OCPD, BP II ultra rapid cycler and PTSD...etc etc My house is a three freaking ring circus and I am the biggest act.
The only way, and I do mean, the ONLY way, I managed school as a sober/slean/eating disorder undercontrol adult with add was I funneled my ocd to school. I was so organized and had notes on 3x5 cards, notes I re-wrote into notebooks that night to retain the knowledge, highlighters, fifteen minutes spans of study, etc etc etc that one teacher used to call me for notes on what the main proff had taught some days.

The only way I was never hospitilized for BP II or a screwed up parent was my OCD compensated. My parenting was a serious job, I got up at a certain time and I was not allowed to fall apart til they were in bed. If I needed to fall apart I was to go to the bathroom and come back out and continue. And I was a single parent from the day each of my first two children came home from the hospital as infants....for ten years. I didnt even get diagnosed until three or four months ago for the BP. Most BP have at least one hospitilization. I have had none, that is phenominal.

I have always used the illustration of any of our disorders or charactor defects as being double edged swords, with a good use to be found if we just learned to swing it correctly.

This is so cool -- talking to others who have OCD. I've never been able to do that before. Some people feel bad when they find out they have ADD, OCD, or whatever. I feel good when I find out. It's like pinpointing things that have confused me all my life, realizing that there are others like me, and finding out there are things I can do to work with it. I hope this thread continues because I take great comfort in coming here.

By the way, I'm feeling better today. Thanks for letting me vent.

LAFNALOT, I believe it is all about STRUCTURE in ones life. Being in control of something you basically dont have control of. Whether it is by a natural/chemical occurance or a learned occurance, compensating for our "ways" lets us make good onto ourselves.

I imagine other "normal" folks look upon our intensive organizing methods as somewhat perculiar (even anal!). So be it. But if it works for me, end of discussion!

lafnalot-
thanks for your response, fascinating about the calming effects... must be why we do them! Although they agitate me at times. I've abused liquor as well to calm my mind, not the best solution but it's so hard to overcome!
Anyway I appreciate all the words and reading and talking with everyone, it's quite comforting. Though I wish we all didn't suffer from this....

Hi kulaboy and welcome.

Speaking of calming effects........

Before the age of 2 I started rocking in the crib. I would lay on my back and roll my head back and forth. As I got into my teens I continued to do it. If I was upset or wanted to get away from mom and dad, I would go in my bedroom, lay on the floor, and turn on music (Donny osmond) and rock. I could do it for hours and would end up with my hair in knots. But I also went into a fantasy world and I made up dreams. I would actually repeat this day dream over and over and would add to it until I got it right. I even kept diaries or journals back in the 9th and 10th grade and I still have them. But for laughs one day, I was reading through them and found where I had written down a dream and actually wrote that I was mad because I could not find a way to finish it.

I also have Tourettes Syndrome and ADHD. I believe the rocking is a combination of the TS and the OCD together.

I am 40 now and I still rock but not as often. It is as if it is an urge and I have to go do it.....it is very calming and relaxing. Of course I am older now and can't do it for as long as I use to.

Hello there Energizer! Thanks.
I noticed on your webpage that you took Wellbutrin. I was on that, as well, for depression. I did not find that it worked but I went off it pretty early because I feared seizures (darn obsessive anxieties).
What kind of tics do you have, if I may ask? I have not ever been formally diagnosed but I have some things I would consider tics, but was just kind of curious... a lot of nervous hair pulling, facial/eye movements, and then pulling hairs off my arms, I hate that!

Anyway bye for now:)
William

Kula,

I was placed on wellbutrin for the ADHD and it was wonderful, but like I said on my website, it increased my tics.

I understand totally what you are saying that you feared seizures in the meds. I have had OCD related problems in taking meds as well. I would drive the pharmacy crazy every time I started feeling something different I beleive it caused me to go through so many different types of meds.

I will remind you that to have a diagnosis of Tourettes Syndrome you must have both vocal and motor tics. As far as pulling the hair off of your arms (ouch) I have also picked my skin. Um and I have picked something else as well, but I will not go in to details.

My doctor has called my picking a compulsive tic. So I guess that means it is OCD/TS releated.

Here is a list of my tics that I either do now or have done in the past:

Open mouth wide and stretch it

Upper lip to bottom of nose

A vocal noise that sounds like a motor boat or Mr. Ed the horse

Sighing and blowing air out

Snorting

Left eye winking

Shoulder shurgging

All sorts of facial tics or facial clowning

My skin can itch when I tic

Pop my wrists and turn hands in an upward or downward motion

Lower back twitch

Left shoulder to ear

Pop ankles inward while sitting and walking

Clinch buttocks

Facial touching with hands

Moving hair out of face when hair not in face

Head to the left, hands in a praying postion under my left ear, snorting, and contracting muscles at the same time

Arms going out in front of me or up

Dystonic tics-Squeezing of muscles in the process of a tic and holding until it feels just right. Can last up to a minute, maybe more, I have not timed it

Roll up my upper lip and buck out lower jaw

Pushing stomach muscles out

Jaw clenching

Eye blinking

Full body movement at night in bed

Closing eyes tightly shutting and squeezing and bring head down to the left. This has effected me while driving and is very scarey

Energizer,
I was the same on wellbutrin, i would keep asking my doctor if I was okay and every heart blip I would freak and think I was having a heart attack. I get that just taking Ibuprofen sometimes.
What a wreck I am with drugs!

I do so much picking, believe me, I know.. and picked off places that are not appropriate for mention in this forum! It's like a need to bite, pull, chew, pick at things. Nail biting has to be the worst. I hate that but it's like no matter how hard I try not to.....

I feel like I have a little of everything that you mention and others, as though I'm a small compliation of every kind of OCD, anxiety, ADD ,etc, but usually in smaller doses. My tics usually involve my jaw and my teeth, and a worry that my jaw is going out of alignment and that freaks me out, or that my teeth are moving apart or falling out, and i can't stop brushing hair back or touching it as it drives me crazy because I think it's touching my forehead.
How well controlled are your tics now?

Thanks for writing,
Kula

Energizer_Bunny, wow, rocking the cradle! Holy deja vu'

My mom relates stories to me of how I had a need to rock myself to sleep almost every night as an infant. She sometime had to tie me up to the crib rails to prevent me from hurting myself. WOW, what a recolection. And then into my pre-school years, I can remember rocking myself to sleep to Ricky Nelson 45's, and then eventually onto Cheap Trick music and Kiss!! Sometimes that was the only way I could fall asleep at times. And I used to bounce my leg up and down while sleeping on my stomach. My roomates in college would complain about it constantly. Thanks for relaying your own symptoms. You dont know how good it felt remembering these things as part of my hyperactive childhood. Whewww, I'm getting tingles just thinking about it now!