View Full Version : "My 4-Letter Life" (Unfinished poem)


Bethylphenidate
10-06-12, 01:40 PM
If you didn't guess, this is a piece about ADHD. Like almost every other "poem" I've written in the past 2 years, I wrote the bulk of it in one sitting and never got around to finishing it. I guess not finishing this one would be appropriate, because, well... you know! (Kinda wish I'd elaborated more on the hyperactive/impulsive aspect, though!)

My 4-Letter Life

Dear God, this ****'s just so hard—
Attempts at deliberation, result in bouts of spacin'.
I've no differentiation
Between which thoughts are escapin'... and which ones I'm still chasin'.
It's like my mind's overworked, yet I feel like that jerk who's always on vacation.

So before I start to lose focus, I want you to note this:
When it comes to hyperkinesis, I could write a whole damned thesis;
I'm puzzled as much as I am puzzling, but I contain all the pieces.
Wait... what the hell, that made no sense. Can I just delete this?

In case you're confused...
I'm just here to introduce you to the world of ADHD,
The girl it makes me,
And how it's twice as hard to get your mind right
When you're diagnosed with the "combined type."
There's gotta be a much better way to describe it than these 4 letters—
And I'ma find it no matter how long it takes me.

I can't concentrate, yet I still seem to constantly contemplate
Some inner debate, or what I just ate, and hey, I just caught that pun.
Huh? Some dude said he bought a gun—Man, I hate this mental state—
How the **** can I possibly keep track of dates
When my calendar is back several months?
How do I have a knack for having five thoughts at once...
At the same time, my ******* mind is pulling all these stunts?

It's like, I can't hear the questions you're asking me...
Because, you see, I'm already holding more than maximum capacity.
And on top of that, my train of thought is shorter;
I really can't understand why they called it Minimal Brain Disorder—
What's so minimal about fitting what seems like a buck into a quarter?

How else can I stress this? Okay, let me put it to you this way instead:
I've got what seems to be an entire library inside of my head...
And it's the size of Texas. Now are you beginning to get this?

I've lost myself, somewhere in this vast expanse full of stories
I choose to dance around the shelves because I can't stay still
And frankly life really kinda bores me. It's not an emergency
But, seeking cheap thrills, I live my life with inherent urgency.

Copyright 2012 Bethylphenidate