Anyone else find themselves wondering why they are attracted to relationships which are dysfunctional in one way or another?
I've managed to side step every 'caring' guy out there, out of my own issues with routine and boredom, and always end up with some adorable, funny, sexy, educated and productive guy who's 'wacked' emotionally. :)
I end up saying to myself "Oh yeah.. you just have a knack for honing in on the most self-absorbed, nervous wreck, type-A, flighty" men ever created.
While they're not acting like that every other day, the rest of the time is some of the most fun, creative, exciting and memorable experiences I do have with them. And I have a really difficult time trying to ward off depression after the relationship ends. Until the next time it happens.
Apparently, this pattern of mine is not going away soon.

I just wonder if anyone else here has observed similar issues with any of their relationships.

Do you thrive on the drama, or is it because they aren't as easy to read and it makes them more interesting. We love them knew experiences. Its like what could possably happen next. and we continually worry about it, and generally we allow all these wild analogys go on in our head. To the point of inadvertenaly causing a reaction. We have to be in control of our own destiny, and like a dog with his toy, he loves for you to try and pull it from his bite as he shakes his head and playfuly growls, and shakes his head back and forth, till you play and try and take his toy away. you stop pulling and he nudges you with it..... I think some of us are the same way with our lives, living on the edge day to day, daring someone to challenge you, would never be happy if everything just went your way...???

Nova: You sound so much like me...that is when I used to bother dating. However, sometime later I discovered that even with these guys, I was still the one that was making myself unavailable, even when they showed explicit signs of committment. Are you sure there isn't something else at work here from your end?

Other than that, the ones you are going after sound like they would be good catches as opposed to typical bad boys. Just wondering if maybe you're catching them slightly before there "ready" time. Saw an article yesterday that said average age for college educated men to marry is now 30. If you're still in your late 20's and so are your guys this might be a partial explanation.

Just a couple of thoughts.........but mostly, don't give up, keep trying. I gave up, and trying to get back into the swing of things really isn't easy.

Have a good Christmas!

Educated and productive isn't bad. Unemployed and aimless is a lot worse. So you must be doing something right.

Amen Coral!

I'm forty-LOL ! And the last guy I was seeing for six months, was fifty.
They have no ready time. That's why I keep thinking about it. I think besides the excitability factor, I just don't want to end up with someone I will eventually leave out of dying of boredom, and routine expectations on their behalf. The guys I'm attracted to don't care about my quirks, but then again, they end up not caring about anything else other than themselves.
I know that, ....but it still hasn't stopped me from this insane way of living.

No.. not bad at all. But emotionally scattered, narcissistic, unreliable, and aloof isn't.
I'm attracting myself, is what I'm doing.

Try finding a nice man via the internet. i Know it sounds out there, but think about it, it must be working for there to be soo many web dating sites. This is really hte best of both worlds. U are able to describe yourself to a T, as are they. Then u pick and choose who u think might be a good match, start talking and if that works out meet ina public place and go from there.

I have meet and dated a couple of guys from the internet, give it a shot.

Nova,
Read my post in the General ADD Forum about Extreme Sports, and see if that rings a bell with you in terms of why you like exciting relationships.

Personally, I'm worried you may get really, really hurt, either physically or emotionally if you keep this up, and I believe that you can find other ways to meet your personal and emotional needs that are more healthful. :)

I could see this love for excitement developing in such a way that it starts taking more and more extreme or intense relationships to get the same rush, just like an addict needs to take larger doses of drugs, and at some point you could end up with a man who will be severely physically/sexually/emotionally abusive, but the addiction will prevent you from getting out or getting help.
I spent 6 months in an inpatient substance abuse program, and knew several women (who became close friends) who went through similiar cycles.

I have actually had the opportunity.. actually... the utter most priveledge to encounter an angel.

A man that is quite my equal and quite extraordinary.. lest I say he and I are now the closest of friends. He means the world to me and even more if you give me a chance to analize.. *grin*

so he is my best friend. he is my twin soul and very happy to have had the blessing to encounter him.

Hope everyone has a WONDERFUL HOLIDAY(S) and finds someone that can fit into this description for them.

smile always even if it hurts .. it can only get better that way.. and .... it can be contagious..
charisma:cool:

[Nova] Anyone else find themselves wondering why they are attracted to relationships which are dysfunctional in one way or another?
I've managed to side step every 'caring' guy out there, out of my own issues with routine and boredom, ...Apparently, this pattern of mine is not going away soon. [/QUOTE]


Yes Nova,
I can totally relate to what you are saying.

I always liked the bad to the bones guys,
the good guys I took advantage of and could not 'respect' them for letting me walk all over/take advantage/manipulate them:--
Not proud of this just stating the facts as I remember them.

Sad to say my daughter (also ADD inattentive ) seems to be following the same MO. She is also bored as easily as I am.

Nah.. don't worry about me, cutiepie. I just meant that I can't be in relationships that are 'Cleaver' clone-ish. I don't want my message to be misconstrued, as I have met a few wonderful guys, that also require having excitement and creativity in the relationship. I was being honest in saying that I don't do well if I'm expected to fit in the template of Americana Women (whatever that is anymore).
Although I don't go skydiving every weekend, and have been known to actually sit through a movie that keeps my attention, or dinner with someone who's charming and articulate.
Thanks for looking out for me though ! Trust me, I'm no wallflower, and do have the ability to identify traits for predisposition to violence in someone. Those aren't the issues I was talking about previously.
Nova

Actually, I'm not attracted to those 'bad to the bones' guys at all. I'm pro-law oriented, and so is anyone I've ever dated, so rebelliousness is in a different formation.
I do run circles around guys who can not handle me, or my mind, or my flux in everything. And in saying that I've sidestepped caring guys, well, I really worded that wrong !! I meant to say that I've sidestepped the guys who bore me to death by being totally accomodating, have no personality of their own, or sense of being unique, and will continue to do so,because we're either passionate or not, in all we do.
Every single person I know who has ADHD says the same exact thing- 'we get bored fast'- it's not an excuse, it just is. Telling me to stay in a relationship, job, situation etc. that I view as routinely boring is like death. Death of my soul, of my mind, of my zest for life itself. The more open doorways leading to creativity and new ideas, the more I'm able to feel like I don't have a plastic bag over my mouth.
Does this make sense?
Nova

memememe, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be posting in the woman's forum or not but I saw the thread title and said hey that's me. I've asked myself for years why I always attracted pshychos. Is it because I'm one too? Is it because they feel like they can be themselves around me because I'm a little whacky ok..a LOT whacky.

Seems like every relationship I enter ends up with me hating to be in it and sticking with it altough it's killing me inside. BUt if I don't have that I'm not happy. I'm simply a masochist when it comes to relationships of this I'm sure.

Dawlin, My life is 0ne Messed up relatioship pattern after another and I think part of it is the low self esteem feeling like I dont deserve better....Like the good ones can have any woman they wanted.....what would they want with me. Jerks thrive on this feelin of insecurity and we find ourselves settling for second best.....It when U start realizing your true value that you can learn to STOP Settling for second.

This from Me experience of course...I dunno if de same fo Anyone else.

Hmmm. This is very interesting. I adore nice guys. I don't even snarl at them anymore when they open the door for me. I let them pick up the check. :) I let them help me on with my coat. As long as they understand that my leniency in these matters means that I am in no way giving up my right to be me and that I am going to go ahead and do what I want to do anyway . . .

And I never get bored with them either. I like them caring, compassionate, amusing, and articulate. I even like them when they cry at the movies. I say "Ahhhh. Poor baaaaby. Let me lend you my hankie." ;) And my hankie always has lace on the edge.

I am that weird troublesome contradictory thing. A girlie feminist. I tend to scare them. LOL!

My main thing is I don't like stupid. Stupid guys are always boring.

Shhhh. Ladies, do you know that guys could be reading this?

Nova, you look so pretty in your mask that I bet you're getting PMs.

Hmm. Prior to my current mate (who's so wonderful and sweet and caring and kind--and sexy to boot, whooo-hoo!), I seemed to be attracted to 1 of 2 kinds of guys: 1) those that I thought of as needing to be taken care of or 2) those I thought could take care of me.

Those that I thought needed to be taken care of usually did need to be taken care of--by someone with mental health credentials far exceeding my own! :p Although when I think about it, the first one was ADD/substance abuser, the second, "clinically depressed" and threatened suicide every time I turned around (very exhausting for a then-17-year-old), and the last of this group, my beautiful daughter's father, is also ADD (a suspicion, though he's not been formally diagnosed).

Those that could take care of me ended up confused and disconnected from me because in the beginning, I would seem independent and fun, but as time progressed, I would become more dependent on them, to the point where if they made plans that didn't include me, I would sit at home feeling sorry for myself. Thank the Gods those days are over.

The man I'm with now... He's not perfect, of course, but we are perfect for each other. He also has ADD, although of a different variety than mine, and was actually the first person to suggest to me that I might have it. He's sweet, kind, caring, warm, compassionate, loves children (both his own and mine), and he means the world to me. Best part is, I know that I mean the world to him, too.

I think it's one of those things.... When you're not looking is when it hits you. Although... :::grinning::: we sort of met online--he used to work with a friend's husband, and friend's husband thought we'd get along smashingly well, and kept trying to get us together, but something would happen each time we were supposed to meet, until finally, several months later, we were finally able to meet. Thing is, neither of us was looking for anything more than friendship when we met, so neither of us had any romantic expectations or hopes when we did meet, but you know what they say... The best laid plans...

I think part of it is the low self esteem feeling like I dont deserve better....Like the good ones can have any woman they wanted.....

It's like you hit the nail on the head with that line. I can grab their interest, and they can grab mine, but it's the maintenance that is the difficult part. I do have low self esteem. It's like I just want to show little bits and pieces, only the tolerable ones, and then I run if I have to let someone see the all the glitches. Why would anyone really want someone glitched, when there are so many perfect people out there :D
(I'm being a smart aleck, but I am serious about the low self esteem)
Nova

You're hysterically funny ! I wear that mask even when it's not physically on-LOL !
I'm a girlie feminist too. Obnoxiously determined to prove to everyone that I can take care of myself, dagnabbit, and that I really don't fall apart, or have panic attacks, or have to read a chapter eight times in a row, multitask and finish what I'm doing, or need anyone for anything except love, feedback, support, understanding.
That mask is bigger than it looks in this tiny picture. It's actually made of concrete, and covers my entire being.
It's just girly and doesn't look it.
Nova (who has to be girly, because it's her only survival tactic when everything get jumbled and falls apart)

Nova, I think low self esteem is fragmented sort of thing. I have really high self esteem in some areas. For instance, I know I write well. I can train dogs, cook, and rear children. I think I have pretty eyes, nice smile, and a good sense of humor, but like most women, I am pretty insecure about my body.

Just when I think I am quite justified in feeling this I remember all the really gorgeous women I have known (compared to fairly ordinary me) who have tortured themselves over their physical imperfections. We women are hard on ourselves and sometimes we are hard on each other.

An example: I had coffee with a dear friend today and I was dying to say something about her really, really bad hair color job. Then I remembered just how wonderful she really is and bit my tongue.

Let's face it, when we have images of people like Nicole Kidman to compete with we are never ever good enough.

Why do we have to be a package? Why can't we just be people?

Thing is, neither of us was looking for anything more than friendship when we met, so neither of us had any romantic expectations or hopes when we did meet, but you know what they say... The best laid plans...

I think it would have to hit me like a semi for me to even notice. I get so wrapped up in over-analysing relationships that I forget to just feel them.

I think part of it is the low self esteem feeling like I dont deserve better....Like the good ones can have any woman they wanted.....

It's like you hit the nail on the head with that line. I can grab their interest, and they can grab mine, but it's the maintenance that is the difficult part. I do have low self esteem. It's like I just want to show little bits and pieces, only the tolerable ones, and then I run if I have to let someone see the all the glitches. Why would anyone really want someone glitched, when there are so many perfect people out there :D
(I'm being a smart aleck, but I am serious about the low self esteem)
Nova

Actually that is exactly what I am going through now....talking to nice guys and it pops in my head..what would they want with someone like me....They could have any woman they want...what could I possibly have to offer.

I think of all the people who have qualms about our idiosyncrocies, who have problems 'being with people like myself' and I think about how intolerant people are if you don't meet their agendas. Their goals. Their needs. I think of how they tell me how I'm not able to put aspects of my life in order or priority, when I know quite well I can. I'm just doing the same thing they're doing... It's just not in their agenda for me to do so. ;)
Think about it...
I think of how tolerant I am...but I can't make anyone see the big picture most days.
Nicole Kidman is not real, she only acts like it in movies. Remember that. And she can't even do that well.

This Nice guy I am talking too, He is awesome and sweet...and I get that same thought....Like earlier I miss read something he said and I thought it said he was taken...Good ole Lousy reading comprehension.....Ugh man did I ever Goof!!! I just hope he doesn't think I am an idiot now!!! I really like this guy.....He does seem decent....not like the others...PLEASE Don't screw this up MELANIE!!!!!

I always assume they're taken. If they act like they're not taken, then I assume they are merely acting that way and that they really have a wife hidden in the attic for seven or so years who is crazy and about to burn down the house and the guy will go blind and I will be cast adrift with no employment and be tempted to marry a minister.

Do you think I could be imagining things? :eek:

We talked a little more tonight....He's so Awesome for a Normie :eek: & was very understanding and said he would type smaller paragraph so not to confuse me:D How cool :D

Anyone else find themselves wondering why they are attracted to relationships which are dysfunctional in one way or another?
I've managed to side step every 'caring' guy out there, out of my own issues with routine and boredom, and always end up with some adorable, funny, sexy, educated and productive guy who's 'wacked' emotionally. :)
I end up saying to myself "Oh yeah.. you just have a knack for honing in on the most self-absorbed, nervous wreck, type-A, flighty" men ever created.
While they're not acting like that every other day, the rest of the time is some of the most fun, creative, exciting and memorable experiences I do have with them. And I have a really difficult time trying to ward off depression after the relationship ends. Until the next time it happens.
Apparently, this pattern of mine is not going away soon.

I just wonder if anyone else here has observed similar issues with any of their relationships.
Same thing, and when I do end up with the "caring" guy, they try and get into my brain and don't give me any space and try to dissect me. Just my luck I guess!

Well, I've been married 18 years to the same guy, but what a roller coaster. Maybe it keeps it interesting enough that I never get off. Problem is that since my ADHD tends to produce a lot of goof ups on my part (messy house, lost things, missed deadlines, late bills, etc.) I tend to think I don't have a right to defend myself and have been on the receiving end of a good bit of verbal/emotional abuse.

Scattered

Well, I've been married 18 years to the same guy, but what a roller coaster. Maybe it keeps it interesting enough that I never get off. Problem is that since my ADHD tends to produce a lot of goof ups on my part (messy house, lost things, missed deadlines, late bills, etc.) I tend to think I don't have a right to defend myself and have been on the receiving end of a good bit of verbal/emotional abuse.

Scattered


Ohhh No no no no no no! Scattered...YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DEFEND YOURSELF!

We did not wake up and decide one day that we wanted to be ADHD...we were born with it and are going to have it everyday of our lives. Medication is a huge help to me, but it will not make my ADHD symptoms go away...it's always going to be there. SOOOOO with that being said, Mi Amiga,......

There are going to be things about ourselves we can not change...and NOBODY has the right to berate you for things that are out of our control..

I mean people don't just go up to a catatonic person and call them lazy for not getting out of bed!

WE ARE ALL HUMAN ......entitled to the same respect despite our flaws and damn sure do not need to be treated any less just because we forgot to take out the ****ing trash or forgot to pay Mr. Bill.

Keep that in mind, Hon, the next time he wants to run off at the mouth...You are his wife and not his pet and you deserve his support and not his belittlement.

Honestly, My WORD, How can anyone improve themselves if the people we love most in life are making us feel worse???

Oh PS.

If ya need to talk more about this..Pm me hun.:)

Coral Rhedd: Shhhh. Ladies, do you know that guys could be reading this?
My lips are sealed. ;)


Nova: That mask is bigger than it looks in this tiny picture. It's actually made of concrete, and covers my entire being.

I bet my wall is bigger than your mask. :p :p

I have to admit I'm very attracted to "challenges" I find myself "rescuing" men from dead end lives. My second husband had diabetes and I thought I could help him with health issurance and being there for him. That's not what happened. And now I live with a Roommate who has never dated since High School (he's 36), very heavy, and with depression. He's without any family (single child, parents died) so I though I could brighten his life and help him feel better about himself... oops failed there too.

What I found out is that people can only be saved by themselves. How boring...

I have actually had the opportunity.. actually... the utter most priveledge to encounter an angel.

A man that is quite my equal and quite extraordinary.. lest I say he and I are now the closest of friends. He means the world to me and even more if you give me a chance to analize.. *grin*

so he is my best friend. he is my twin soul and very happy to have had the blessing to encounter him.

Hope everyone has a WONDERFUL HOLIDAY(S) and finds someone that can fit into this description for them.

smile always even if it hurts .. it can only get better that way.. and .... it can be contagious..
charisma:cool:

ok.. this is me then.. this is me now..
I still feel I have encounterd an angel named.. my best friend..lol
Lest I must say..
As finding that one person.. the one I want.. never happens..
They are always the one I "think" I want. Then.. what comes after..
damn.. I feel like I find the most lovable men and then see only one side. When they decide to show it all I up and lose it because it is the total opposite.. I mean why? Is it just us.. as ADD women? or men I think I saw come in this forum.. it actually does occur both ways..

I just really don't understand. I do love the feeling of relationship begining.. the rest.. ooooofff!
is there really any resolution.. will there be?

I don't believe I'm ever going to choose to find a way to absolve myself from that relationship baffle.
I just want a way to remind myself that I choose these idiots. And that I have the roadmap back to myself, but of course I've misplaced it like everything else I misplace..like my self esteem...
I'm going back to my 'cave' for now.. like I've been for the last two weeks trying to clear my head.
I sometimes wish I was dizzy... at least then, I wouldn't even think of these things..
I'll eventually get bored with this wallowing too, LOL ! And be back on here like my normal goofy self.
love y'all !
Nevine

Sounds like me girl sounds like me. how do you get over this i wonder?

Keppig said:
He's without any family (single child, parents died) so I though I could brighten his life and help him feel better about himself... oops failed there too.

What I found out is that people can only be saved by themselves. How boring...


This statement made me laugh outloud ! Thank you !
That's exactly what I found out - after 40 years of banging my head against the wall, and doing the exact same thing you mentioned !
Thank you, thank you !! For making me laugh !
Nova

Have you run into the problem of finding guys that you either have to "fix" or mother and go to the polar opposite and have a guy that needs to "fix" or father you? Or one that encompasses both?

I am tired of being the one analyzed and found wanting and have to be changed according to their "master plan" when they themselves are more f***ed up then me. Sorry venting about my current husband!! and his family.
I have been very open about my depression and now ADD and suddenly they have a perfect reason to blame everything on me.

Ugh.. I might have gone off on a tangent.. :(

Dawlin, My life is 0ne Messed up relatioship pattern after another and I think part of it is the low self esteem feeling like I dont deserve better....Like the good ones can have any woman they wanted.....what would they want with me. Jerks thrive on this feelin of insecurity and we find ourselves settling for second best.....It when U start realizing your true value that you can learn to STOP Settling for second.

This from Me experience of course...I dunno if de same fo Anyone else.
Because alot of your jerk's *I am one* have been stepped on in the past for letting their emotion's and "feeling's" be handed over to a female.

Female's use your feeling's and emotion's against you once they get angry at you or start trying to gain control or play game's *especially when you get bored or are about ready to leave*

IMHO it's worthless to get into a relationship and completely hand over your thought's to a female.. it stop's them from having to "guess" as one of you put it.

Normally 88 out of a 100% of women will take off/start playing game's once they figure you out, the only way this is different is if you have a large bank account.

This way, they can't ever figure out why you spend all this money on them, they just know no one else is dumb enough/willing to.... so they stay with you.

That's from a guy's standpoint, no reason to flame me.. just trying to help.

BTW I have no idea why Im trying to help, I guess because even though your female's I realise your dealing with ADD just like me.. so I guess I am a little softer here on the board's then I would/am in real life.

ADD complicate's everything IMHO, emotion's,money,relationship's.

by far one of my favorite threads. hee hee hee.
I've been pickin my guys up from the dance floor, out of the river and away from their downfall. And I have failed. ;)

Now I'm just gonna kick em all to the curb. It's time to put on my walking shoes and take my own private world tour. any one care to join? aaahhhhhh

Anyone else find themselves wondering why they are attracted to relationships which are dysfunctional in one way or another?
Yes. I don't know that it's ADD....could be. I just think there are a lot of disingenuous people in the world.

I...always end up with some adorable, funny, sexy, educated and productive guy who's 'wacked' emotionally.

I could handle the wacked if they would only stop forgetting the fact that they WERE the adorable, funny, sexy, smart, insightful and interesting guy that captivated me to start with. Somehow it seems to turn from on to off like a light switch at exactly the moment when I've decided it's safe to trust them.

The rest of the time is some of the most fun, creative, exciting and memorable experiences
And that right there is the problem......The number of men I've even entertained the notion of dating since my divorce 5 years ago (oh how i hate being that statistic) is a grand total of three. It isn't for lack of opportunity. It isn't because I want to be alone. I don't even notice guys who hit on me which is a constant joke among my friends. I don't care if they're rich, successful, own a beautiful house on the oceanfront, a boat, any of it......It's happened and I've looked right passed it. Trying to impress me with that crap is the quickest way to send my mind into a daydream. I don't pay attention to a person that boring....sound familiar? I pay attention to he who is somehow extraordinary in my opinion. The three I mentioned were the only ones who ever fit the bill. I remember everything about them. But gosh, I'm too tired to keep up with it anymore. It hurts too bad when you find out somewhere along the way that it really was a game all along, and you didn't even know what the hell the rules were.

I simply need to barricade myself from men who have interesting thoughts, a sarcastic, witty sense of humor, and a personality that stands alone, uniquely. I haven't discovered too many of them so maybe it won't be that difficult. It makes me sad, to tell you the truth.

I don't agree about the internet thing by the way. I think it's just as easy to be hurt by someone whose voice you've never heard as by someone you meet down the street for a "live" dinner. The written word is so powerful to me that the notion of basing something on that only to watch it disappear is horrendous. Then again, I'm hardly an expert on any of this and am feeling more ignorant by the day...

I ONCE dated a guy who was stable, just completed his college education and got a great job, was family oriented and would lasso the moon if I just asked. Yep, I dumped him. He was booorrrrinnnngggg. He has made a wonderful husband for his current wife, even adopted her kids.

Who did I end up with? The "semi" recovered alcoholic who sired my first-born pride-and-joy then cheated on me, became engaged to the bi-sexual female who he slept with and abandoned his son to marry her (she just came out of the closet; they were divorced within 5 years).

I moved past this and married a wanna-be cop who burned through my money, attempted to be physically abusive (until I told him that if he ever put his hands on me in anger, he better learn to live without sleep-- he may be big enough to cause major damage but I'd have no problem using a cast iron skillet to knock some sense into him) and verbally abused me to the point I had no esteem at all. He'd just agreed to seek counseling for anger management when I found proof he was unfaithful. He did gift me with a beautiful baby girl.

My freinds and family took a vote when I somehow got the idea reconcillation with the alcoholic would have a better outcome this time. Sure. If only he hadn't added crack to his list of prefered recreational pharmaceuticals. Oh yes, he is also ADHD (set fire to the house when he was in pre-school-- my poor children didn't stand a chance of escaping the genetics of ADHD). I am no longer allowed to date until they have met my posse, and they all have to approve. They then agreed to disagree with any approval given by another party LOLLOLLOL

Seriously, I suffer from the "I can save the world" co-dependent nurse syndrome. I gravitate towards the needy (I swear someone should do a study on phermones secreted by the wounded well) and the dysfunctional. I am working hard to overcome this issue but until then, I have to hang on to a sense of humor about the past. After all, I got the best of both men in my children.

ive been dating this guy for almost three months.....notvery long but in that time ive picked fights ..dared him to hit me..broke up with him numerous times but hes still here...ive noticed latly when i bait him for a fight he walks away or changes the subject and when i want to break up he just says call me later and we will discuss this....hes wierd.....ive told him to run as fast as he can.....but he stays and has even taken on the task of trying to get me to stay focused on my daily stuff,,,,,,and typing is not a strong point for me.....hmmm forgot where i was going with this oh well.

I know this is womens' forum, and is a thread for women, but frankly, it can apply to men too...

I like men I cant have any control over. Usually this means they are addicted to something that has more control over them than I ever could. Or, there music means more to them than I ever will. Or, they have a certain kind of wit that I can't match.

I'm scared of responsibility pretty much. Im scared to make someone feel anything. I don't trust myself and so its hard to let people depend on me. I change my mind every five seconds and that effects the lives of those who I am with. So sometimes I don't act at all. I just stay still so that I wont effect whats going on around me. People are like just get over it. But when you know the consequences before you act it takes the fun out of it.

I love a man who makes me feel weaker than him.

OH MY GOD...where have you guys been all my life...finally I don't feel so alone!!!!!!

"BOYS ARE STUPID...THROW ROCKS AT THEM!"

I'm in possibly the most dysfunctional relationship possible. I'm not even going to go into why, it's just so insane, and I'm only 18.

A Brief summary of every relationship I've ever had:
Boys don't really want me because they like me... They like the idea of me. They want someone quirky and fun to show off, who will make them feel good about themself. The only thing is, if they need me to feel good about themself, they're going to use me anyway to do that. Even if it means putting me down. That starts and I start to close off, then they go to extremes of trying to keep me around so they feel can good about themself. So then they get jealous and since I'm not needed for anything but their ego I get jealous...

hmm thats interesting sometimes i feel this way aswel. like you are in the relationship to make them feel better...... but i know i would be lost without him....i love him to death, it is jsut a feeling that comes after certain various situations

Yep I am right there with you, I constantly find myself in relationships that suck and I eventually figure out it's because I always end up having to take care of them....what gives?

I also think that having an attention disorder causes me to feel as if I cannot do anything else right, like my accomplishments are so far and few between I believe that I want to have the relationships where I can fx everything and have a sense of gratification I guess.

Isp0514 you read my mind. I ALWAYS end up taking care of them, in one way or another. I really want to find someone who wants to take care of me. Or at least something more mutual. I was told by a life coach that I need to find a man I don't need to mother. How do I change that? I know I do it, I just don't know how NOT to do it. I know that was part of the reason my last relationship ended.

At one point I thought I had everything that I always wanted but wasn't happy. I was just living a life I thought I was supposed to want. He was a work-a-holic so I rarely saw him. Sometimes I felt/feel like I'm too needy.

My ex told me once that he was often afraid to have conversations and make me upset when he had no idea what I was talking about. I would just pick up a conversation we had hours, sometimes days before. It was the jumpy mind syndrome. It seemed so logical when I was saying it...

i have a problem with finding my man and when i find him i just wanna hang out with him and no one else and my attentions are on only him... my boyfriend is getting annoyed and tells me to not come over to his house all the time and find a hobbie or hang ou t with friends. But when i hang out with friends they get annoyed cuz we will be talking about something and out of nowhere ill start talking about him! plus my attention-span doesnt allow me to have hobbies... their too hard to learn and concentrate on. One: I need help with these things. and Two: Does anyone else have these problems?! O_o'