View Full Version : Delusions and hallucinations


ginniebean
10-15-12, 02:36 PM
For the past three, maybe four years I have been in denial that I have been experiencing delusions and hallucinations. I am finally ready to go and seek help.

I believe I may have a condition called Delusions of Parasitosis with tactile hallucinations.

I have fought against this for a long time, this battle has consumed so much energy and time in my mental space. I'm tired and I want to get better. Part of getting better for me is not being secretive.

I also think that in trying to manage this on my own, at times anger and hostility have leaked out in some of my responses on here, and in my reactions, if I have been less than supportive or seemed hostile I am genuinely sorry.

It's a big step for me to admit that my mind may fail me, that I may be more mentally ill than I am comfortable with.

Many of you have had terrible things happen in your lives and as much as I may have wanted to be there and be supportive, this problem of mine has been consuming. I want to feel good again, I want to be me again, and I am trying hard to be brave in the face of scary stuff for me.

sarahsweets
10-15-12, 02:44 PM
I <3 you ginnie. Remember you are not defective, worthless you are in pain that needs to heal.

Lunacie
10-15-12, 02:56 PM
(((((Ginnie)))))

Sending good thoughts for you to find the answers and the help you need.

I dunno why us old broads resist admitting we need help, but me too!

sarek
10-15-12, 02:58 PM
What you are doing takes courage. I am very proud of you Ginnie, that you are taking this step. And never forget that we love you.

ginniebean
10-15-12, 06:47 PM
Thanks everyone, your kind words mean the world to me.

Luvmybully
10-15-12, 06:55 PM
:grouphug:

How scary! You have a TREMENDOUS amount of courage to take that first step.

You have helped me so many times, your insight and understanding is invaluable.

I appreciate you and hope you get the help you deserve!

Spacemaster
10-15-12, 07:39 PM
Just coming on here and telling us all is a big deal, good for you! Being able to acknowledge your problem, and admit it to a forum is quite a big step, and it shows that you are headed in the right direction.

You are obviously very intelligent, and you give a lot of good input on this forum. I really hope that you get the help that you need and deserve. :)

BR549
10-15-12, 09:21 PM
Bean, This is a huge, scary step, but one I know you are ready to take.

I'm proud of you, support you always and love you no matter what. :)

anonymouslyadd
10-15-12, 09:24 PM
I'm sorry for what you're going through. I care and have love for you, no matter what.

Rebelyell
10-15-12, 10:12 PM
:grouphug:YOu have lots of courage and I have nothing but kind an nice things to say about you .I love you for all your advice and kindness and wish you well.Will keep you in my thoughts an prayers ginnie:grouphug:

Unmanagable
10-15-12, 11:26 PM
(((((Hugs)))))

I love me some beanage!!

Sending hopes for quality and compassionate care.

ginniebean
10-16-12, 12:12 AM
well I've been feeling a lot of anxiety, so came home, took 1/2 a mg of ativan.. knocked me out cold for several hours...

Unmanagable
10-16-12, 12:29 AM
Did it help you feel rested? Good rest?

ginniebean
10-16-12, 12:33 AM
actually yeah, I'm feeling well rested. I have to be up early on my day off got a lot to do.

Retromancer
10-16-12, 12:38 AM
We're here for you. One day at a time.

Drewbacca
10-16-12, 02:52 AM
It's a big step for me to admit that my mind may fail me, that I may be more mentally ill than I am comfortable with.

When a single car part fails, we don't call the whole car broken... unless it's the engine that breaks I guess. Fortunately, I think that the engine is the human heart, and yours seems to work fine. The brain is more like the electrical system, so your problem is more like the turn signal turning randomly on and off.

*hugs* I hate asking for help, but that is always a necessary step.

Abi
10-16-12, 02:59 AM
We love you bean.

<3 <3 <3

tudorose
10-16-12, 06:29 AM
Ginnie I am so sorry you're having to go through this.

It must have been hard to come out and say that.

Thanks for letting us know. I understand now and if you do post something narky I won't take it personally. (((hugs)))

Flory
10-16-12, 07:11 AM
you re a brave and amazing women ginnie and we all love you here...i'm glad you feel you can share with us what you are going through and know that me and many others here are here whenever you need us be it 12pm or 4am, if you just need to chat or you need to cry we are here ! i know you are a hard worker and do alot for others...now its time to put that hard work back into yourself and start taking care of you !!!...we love you ginnie ))))hugs((((

RedHairedWitch
10-16-12, 10:49 AM
***hugs***

Fuzzy12
10-16-12, 11:04 AM
Ginnie, I know the feeling of worrying about the state of your mind. For years, I was terrified that I was losing my mind, going generically insane. The thing I've been most scared of was getting hallucinations. I've never had any but I can imagine how terrifying it must be.

I hope you can get some help with your problems.

Don't worry about us. You might not even have realised it but you've been extremely supportive, at least to me, which is even more impressive considering what you've got going on.We all have days where it's difficult to not let the crap of daily life seep into our responses and make us more hostile than we want to be. It's ok every once in a while to take a break. We know you are amazing and I hope that now we get a chance to be supportive to you. :grouphug: