Hi!

My name is Donna and I'm non-ADD, but a codependent.

I was involved with a man who I suspect has ADHD but is not diagnosed. I was searching the web and doing research on ADHD to understand him better when I stumbled upon this site.

I'm not sure if the disrespect and bad behavior is ADHD or if the he's just not that into me. He displays many of the symptons of ADHD -- inanttentive, impulsive, spontantous, argumentative, moodiness, self-asorb.

I've been lurking thru several of the various forums and reading some threads and have found many situation to which I could relate.

When he and I first met, he was very hyperfocused on my needs and me. But recently, I now feel insignificant around him.

I think I may have done some ireparable damage to our relationship since I wrote him a letter telling him how bad he had hurt me and may have pulled some "below the belt" punches by relating his bad behavior to his sister suicide.

Prior to that letter he did say he wish we could go back to the beginning of our "relationship" and that his selfish acts were not malicious.

Now that I 've read these threads, I know I shouldn't have taken some of his actions personally. But they still hurt and undermined mine confidence. I feel if he really cared, he could curb some of his impulses.

I wish we both could start over and leave our emotional baggage at the door.

Should I approach him again or just call it quits?

What are the positive parts of this relationship?

In the beginning, there was much that was positive.

I felt that he supported me and as he said was my "refuge" We enjoyed many spontaneous moments with beautiful sunsets. He taught me to have fun.

He was so childlike in sharing his experiences with me and having me try new things.
He was very charismatic and caring. It was as if he knew me. He was also a great lover.

But than he became emotionally unavailable.

Perhaps I'm being obsessive with him.