View Full Version : Could use some advice...


Seravance
10-26-12, 07:04 PM
Some of you may remember that I started posting here about a month ago, shortly after I was diagnosed with ADHD, panic disorder, and major depressive disorder. I was put on Adderall (10mg, increased to 30mg after a period of a week,) Prozac (10mg), and Trazodone (don't remember the dosage because it was awful and I only took it a handful of times).

Well, I've been more depressed than before (though this has been far from the worst depression of my life.) I was doing really well at first, I was super happy and excited about trying these meds, because it's the first time I've ever worked up the courage to actually go to a psychiatrist even though I've had these issues for longer than I can remember. Then something happened (not even a big deal,) and I can crashing down and stayed down for two weeks. I've been having trouble at school and work because I just don't care. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to be around anyone, etc.

So I mentioned all of this when I went back to my doctor. At first she seemed to think that I should either switch anti-depressants or keep trying to Prozac. Then she started asking me more and more questions, before she finally said that she thinks I'm actually Bipolar, which would explain the Prozac not helping.

I argued with her, because I can't see it. But she seemed convinced. She kept bringing up my sleep habits (they're awful) and my bouts of mania, which I do admit to having, but they aren't incredibly extreme. I'll just get really hyped up for a while and clean my entire apartment, or talk way too fast, or something similar and then I tend to crash afterward and get more depressed.

She had considered this diagnosis before, and I don't know why she decided against it to begin with.

My questions, after that long set up (sorry!) are these:

1) Could the Adderall have been causing the most recent bouts of mania? I've definitely been much more energetic lately and I keep finding myself doing intense cleaning like scrubbing the baseboards on my walls with a tooth brush. This does not always occur when my Adderall is (presumably) still in my system though. I was only taking one 30mg XR once per day, generally around 9:00 am and these moods seemed just as likely to happen much later in the day, even as late as 11:00 pm.

2) Could she have just been wrong? She kept bringing up my sleeping habits, because I have been having troubles sleeping for years. I'll sleep way too long some nights, then not very well other nights (I'll have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep and I'm up and down all night, not sleeping for more than one hour straight). Sometimes I don't sleep but a few hours and I'm still wide eyed and energetic the next morning. This was the case when I went to see her yesterday. I only slept about 5 hours, but I woke up constantly. I don't think I actually slept more than 30 minutes at a time. When I woke up, I was incredibly energetic. When I was speaking to her, I was rambling, interrupting, talking so quickly that she kept asking me to repeat myself, and basically just having a hell of a time conversing with her. I think it's possible that she saw this and assumed it was associated with Bipolar disorder.

3) I don't think I exhibit enough of the symptoms of mania. What is the minimum number that I would have to have to be considered bipolar?

I'm not impulsive (barring a random, small purchase or unplanned trip out. Nothing huge or impacting).

I do not make grand or unattainable plans (I'm too depressed and hopeless to even make plans about the future, barring minor or short term ones that I rarely plan to keep).

I'm not reckless (I'm far too anxious to engage in reckless behavior).

I do not have a high sex drive.

Rarely, I will suddenly and inexplicably feel like I'm the most attractive person I know, or that I'm the best worker at my job or other such silly things. But it doesn't happen often and I don't even know if that counts as inflated self esteem or grandiose behavior, or if I'm just in a particularly good mood at the moment.

And yes, sometimes I will sleep for a very short while and still be energetic and hyper the next day, but this does not happen all the time. More often than not, I just have a difficult time falling asleep and staying asleep, so I wake up a lot. I used to take Melatonin for this, but I kept having to increase my dosage and I didn't like that because I was afraid I could become so dependent on it that I wouldn't be able to sleep without it ever. That's about when I started taking the Trazodone. When I stopped that, I began taking Melatonin again, sparingly and only a small dosage, and only when I had to be up very early. I was disappointed that she didn't just give me something else to help me sleep.

4) Should she have let me take the Prozac longer? I only took it for about a month, and she even admitted that it takes up to 6 weeks to work. I didn't understand why she didn't just let me continue with it.


She asked me if I have any family history of Bipolar Disorder and I basically told her no, but that people suspect that my dad had it. He committed suicide when I was young and was never diagnosed, but fit the description almost perfectly, according to (my mom's) family members I have asked. I don't know my dad's family. My brother also says that he was diagnosed with it, but I have reasons to doubt this or think that he was simply mistaken. I don't have any way to prove or disprove him though.

She gave me 50mg of Seroquel XR and told me to take it on an evening when I didn't have to be up early the next morning, since I was effected so strongly by the Trazodone when I took it (that made me sleep for up to 13 hours and gave me horrible headaches and grogginess, and I couldn't wake up for anything, then I was so tired that I still napped during the day). I am going to take the Seroquel tonight, because this is the only night that I don't have to get up early in the morning (until next Wednesday).

Mostly I just don't know what to do or think. :( When I was diagnosed with ADHD, it was a relief. I felt like a huge weight was lifted from me and I could finally understand why I was such a failure. It made my life seem more bearable, because the medicine works so well to help me in areas where I was struggling. Bipolar Disorder feels more like a prison sentence. I'm terrified of this disease. I grew up knowing that it's most likely what killed my father and I'm overwhelmed by the idea of having it.

That's another issue and part of the reason I'm posting this here. I don't know if I honestly think I don't have this, or if I'm just so in denial that I can't see it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I can expound upon anything if necessary.

Additional info (don't know if it is relevant): She basically let me choose what I wanted to do with my Adderall. It wasn't effecting me for long enough and she said that I could either switch to IR, take two 30mg XR in the morning, take one 30mg XR in the morning and one in the afternoon, or take one 30mg XR in the morning and one 30mg IR in the afternoon if needed. She kept saying that taking the two 30mg XR in the morning would increase the duration of it, but I wasn't so sure. The duration was not increased when I switched from 10mg to 30mg. I know that 10mg is a very small dose, however, so I guess that could be why.

She basically brushed off my concerns about my anxiety. If I'm being honest, the crippling social anxiety that I have is almost more bothersome to me than the depression. I almost feel like it causes a great deal of my depression. She didn't seem to want to talk about it, even though I brought it up more than once. I even told her that I will skip presentations at school and risk bad grades in order to avoid getting in front of people. She did later (briefly) mention that this is basically covered in Bipolar Disorder, but she wouldn't discuss it further.

While I do have mood swings (sometimes multiple in a day, all as extreme as the other, or sometimes I'm elated for a week, then horribly depressed for a while), I have always associated them with depression.I have had someone (not a doctor) suggest to me that I could have Bipolar Disorder, but I brushed it off because I don't think I fit enough symptoms.

I am so sorry that this is so long. I just wanted to make sure I had as much information as possible. I guess I basically want the opinions of people who either have Bipolar Disorder or who have been misdiagnosed with it. I just need some advice. :(

mad83
10-26-12, 07:37 PM
I was on Prozac and it made me feel less depressed. So I had manic and normal. But I just recently switched to a mood stabilizer and what I think is an antidepressant so I can't give much advice here.

Seravance
10-26-12, 08:07 PM
Since no one here knows me that well (I mostly lurk) and I didn't provide extensive information about the symptoms I do have, and since everyone is different and is effected differently by disorders, I fear that I will not get much advice. :(

Phoenix Ash
10-27-12, 03:03 AM
I understand you are scared of the idea that you may be bipolar, especially after what happened to your dad. But please remember that it is not the worst thing to have a disorder. The worst thing is to have one and not get proper treatment for it. So please at least be open to the possibilities. You need to know what the true nature of your disorder is, whatever that may be. Try not to let fear and anxiety keep you from seeing, and dealing with, reality.

Now I am no expert on bipolar, but from reading your post, I do see signs of it. However, there are two forms of Bipolar. BPII is the one with hypomania rather than full blown mania. Have you considered that BPII may fit your symptomology better?

sarahsweets
10-27-12, 04:23 AM
Some times stimulants can really aggravate mania and even bring ot on.

Lunacie
10-27-12, 10:12 AM
Actually, researchers are looking into the idea that bipolar is a spectrum
disorder, not just two kinds of bipolar, but many kinds.

I read a paper on that awhile ago, but of course don't remember the title
or where I read it.

Since there is a chance of a family history of bipolar, it seems a good idea
to consider treating you for bipolar.

Stimulant meds can make bipolar symptoms worse.

We all react differently to meds. My 10 year old granddaughter (dx Autism)
needs 100 mg of Trazadone to sleep through the night

but I only take 37 mg and sleep great. (1/4 of a 150 mg tablet).

Seravance
10-27-12, 10:16 AM
Now I am no expert on bipolar, but from reading your post, I do see signs of it. However, there are two forms of Bipolar. BPII is the one with hypomania rather than full blown mania. Have you considered that BPII may fit your symptomology better?

I have considered that. I need to do more research on it though. I'm just really worried about it and I don't know how to tell if I really have it or she was just wrong.

And I know that Adderall can aggravate mania, but is it mania that could have happened anyway, or does the Adderall cause it?

phantasm
10-27-12, 10:41 AM
Serevance - I was diagnosed with Bipolar II this year. I never suspected it, nor did I believe it when my psychologist and psychiatrist had a meeting with me. Bipolar traits can be very similar to ADHD, but i have more than average traits so that is my diagnosis. I am not manic either, nor do I have grandious ideas...well ...:rolleyes: I kinda do...but anyway, I can see why your Doc may consider Bipolar II, you fit more that description in my opionion.

I totally agree that Bipolar is on a spectrum, just like ADHD is. Everyone is different. Research Bipolar and understand it, maybe you have it, maybe you dont. But it sounds like you have a doctor that's willing to help you through your diagnosis.

I am grateful for my doctors and this forum and all the information that I have researched in order to understand my life. Having any mental illness or disorder doesn't make you bad, broken, abnormal. it's clarity on who you are. You are one step closer to having all your answers and understanding yourself. Hang in there, and keep asking questions. :)

Seravance
10-27-12, 01:43 PM
I totally agree that Bipolar is on a spectrum, just like ADHD is. Everyone is different. Research Bipolar and understand it, maybe you have it, maybe you dont. But it sounds like you have a doctor that's willing to help you through your diagnosis.

I am grateful for my doctors and this forum and all the information that I have researched in order to understand my life. Having any mental illness or disorder doesn't make you bad, broken, abnormal. it's clarity on who you are. You are one step closer to having all your answers and understanding yourself. Hang in there, and keep asking questions. :)

I've done a lot of research but it's hard for me to connect medical terms to my real life, personal behavior or thoughts. I've been trying to find personal examples from this board and Google, but they mostly have to do with very high manic episodes and are little help to me, because I don't get like that.

I don't think it makes me broken...well, I do, but I'm trying to get past that. I think part of my fear and anger over this diagnosis is that I've only ever met pretty awful people who were diagnosed as Bipolar (not including anyone on this forum, just people I've met in real life). I guess that I fear that I will become more like them or that I will become someone I hate. I've definitely noticed changes in myself that I associated with a worsening depression over the past few years, so I don't think it's so far fetched that I could become even worse. Especially now.

Does Bipolar Disorder get worse with age?

And if anyone could tell me personal examples of Bipolar, I would be incredibly grateful. PMs are fine if preferred.

Seravance
10-27-12, 01:47 PM
Actually, researchers are looking into the idea that bipolar is a spectrum
disorder, not just two kinds of bipolar, but many kinds.

This is also something that bugs me. My doctor never mentioned Bipolar I or II, which I guess I can understand because I didn't ask. However, I did ask about the diagnosis of ADHD - Primarily Inattentive and she had no idea what I was talking about. I tried asking about the different forms of ADHD and she kept saying "You don't have ADHD, you have ADD because there is no hyperactivity present." (Should be noted that this was spoken about first thing, before the mention of Bipolar.)

Shouldn't she know about the different subtypes of ADHD? Should I just assume that maybe she's not the best doctor and look for another one? Or is it common for psychiatrists to not know about this?

Lunacie
10-27-12, 02:51 PM
This is also something that bugs me. My doctor never mentioned Bipolar I or II, which I guess I can understand because I didn't ask. However, I did ask about the diagnosis of ADHD - Primarily Inattentive and she had no idea what I was talking about. I tried asking about the different forms of ADHD and she kept saying "You don't have ADHD, you have ADD because there is no hyperactivity present." (Should be noted that this was spoken about first thing, before the mention of Bipolar.)

Shouldn't she know about the different subtypes of ADHD? Should I just assume that maybe she's not the best doctor and look for another one? Or is it common for psychiatrists to not know about this?

Well . . . no doctor is going to know everything.

But . . . a doctor that doesn't know that hyperactivity is not necessary
for a dx of ADHD wouldn't be my first choice in a doctor. :eyebrow:

Hyperactivity often becomes inward activity as we get older.
Sounds like the doctor is thinking of the stereotypical hyper little boy.

Seravance
10-27-12, 03:17 PM
Well . . . no doctor is going to know everything.

But . . . a doctor that doesn't know that hyperactivity is not necessary
for a dx of ADHD wouldn't be my first choice in a doctor. :eyebrow:

Hyperactivity often becomes inward activity as we get older.
Sounds like the doctor is thinking of the stereotypical hyper little boy.

That's what I thought too. I think perhaps she may have misunderstood what I was asking, though, so it could just be miscommunication on both parts. I do actually trust this doctor, because a teacher that I like and respect immensely told me that she's a great doctor. So...I don't know...I guess I just need to trust her. For now.

phantasm
10-28-12, 01:14 AM
I think part of my fear and anger over this diagnosis is that I've only ever met pretty awful people who were diagnosed as Bipolar (not including anyone on this forum, just people I've met in real life). I guess that I fear that I will become more like them or that I will become someone I hate. I've definitely noticed changes in myself that I associated with a worsening depression over the past few years, so I don't think it's so far fetched that I could become even worse. Especially now.



That's exactly how I felt when I received my diagnosis. I have an adopted niece who is Bipolar I. She is only 11 years old, but she can be wicked when she is not on meds. (Both her birth grandmother, mother and older sister all have severe Bipolar, therefore she has an early diagnosis) She scares me and my husband when my sister and BIL are not around. I think of her extreme actions when I think of bipolar, so when I got my diagnosis, my mind went to that. :faint:

From what I understand about Bipolar II, it has mild mood swings and you don't go from one to extreme to the other as quickly as a person with Bipolar I. Both Bipolar I and II have mood swings that are based on a cycle. (think how PMS works, it is on a cycle and woman go through a range of emotions during this cycle on a monthly basis and then they come out of it.) A person with Bipolar has mood cycles and they may be more exaggerated than a non-bipolar persons reaction during this cycle. Does this mean you are going to be a raging lunatic one day and then all happy the next? Probably not. Your moods my just be slightly elevated, or you may be slightly more emotional, passionate, moody, depressed than a typical day when your moods are more baseline.

Also, a person with Bipolar I will typically have such a manic or depressive faze near their early 20s where it will be extremely clear they need mental help. I know for my niece, it's only a matter of time before she is institutionalized. (she is very young and from what I understand, it is more typical to be diagnosed late in the teens and in the 20s) If you have not had such a life with extreme moodiness to this point, I can't imagine it would get worse. But I am no doctor. i am just learning about all of this as well. If your doctor tells you that it's Bipolar II that you have, then she will help you choose medication that will stabilize your moods (non stimulant) and manage your ADHD/ADD.

Something that came to mind when reading your posts...you said she thinks you are ADD without the hyperactivity? Especiall if you are female, you may not exhibit hyperactivity physically, like fidgeting, or needing to move around and be busy, but your mind could race a thousand miles a minute. I only say that because that's how my hyperactivity is. Mine is mainly internal.

I hope what I said above helped you in some way. I am learning right along with you. I don't even know if I explained myself clearly enough. :doh: All I know is I am a lot less freaked out about my diagnosis. And I hope you can get more answers the next time you talk to your doc.

catrenn
10-28-12, 02:59 PM
I think sometimes there is a tendency or a possibility for bipolar in AD/HD people that doesn't become obvious or active until it finally builds up to an intolerable point, or something external brings on a full-blown crisis. like college or other stressful situations. you start with small swings, and the mania is so useful and so much fun that you sleep less and less, more stimulants, less healthy habits until you can't help but crash, and then once you recover, off you go again. a lot of college students do it, but for some of us it's a potentially deadly trigger. The pressured speech, superfast talking, no sleeping makes it a definite possibility.

Statistically speaking, bipolar becomes easier to deal with after middle age, if you are careful with your treatment before that and don't get yourself killed in a stupid manic accident or a deliberate depressive one.

I speak from experience.

Seravance
10-28-12, 06:04 PM
From what I understand about Bipolar II, it has mild mood swings and you don't go from one to extreme to the other as quickly as a person with Bipolar I. Both Bipolar I and II have mood swings that are based on a cycle. (think how PMS works, it is on a cycle and woman go through a range of emotions during this cycle on a monthly basis and then they come out of it.) A person with Bipolar has mood cycles and they may be more exaggerated than a non-bipolar persons reaction during this cycle. Does this mean you are going to be a raging lunatic one day and then all happy the next? Probably not. Your moods my just be slightly elevated, or you may be slightly more emotional, passionate, moody, depressed than a typical day when your moods are more baseline.

This is something I am confused about. I know that I am depressed. I would go so far as to say that I am very severely depressed and it's a struggle for me to not do damage to myself because of it. However, while I know I have had manic moods or phases, I don't feel like they are severe. I don't understand how a random and unharmful manic mood can change my entire diagnosis. Is it because it gets worse? Should I be expecting to have some sort of break where I do something that leaves me hospitalized? I just feel like I don't have enough information, regardless of how much research I do.

If your doctor tells you that it's Bipolar II that you have, then she will help you choose medication that will stabilize your moods (non stimulant) and manage your ADHD/ADD.

I'm pretty sure that the only reason my doctor didn't stop prescribing me Adderall is because I virtually begged her not to. I feel like the only reason I even keep trying in school and work is because I have that extra push that keeps me focused, even if it does make me manic at times. This has all been so stressful and annoying, I don't want to add another med change on top of it. :(


Something that came to mind when reading your posts...you said she thinks you are ADD without the hyperactivity? Especially if you are female, you may not exhibit hyperactivity physically, like fidgeting, or needing to move around and be busy, but your mind could race a thousand miles a minute. I only say that because that's how my hyperactivity is. Mine is mainly internal.

I'm not sure she 100% understands ADHD, unfortunately. I just keep telling myself that it is better than the people I've read about here who encounter doctors who don't even believe in it. And I definitely fidget. All the time. I was fidgeting when she told me that I don't have ADHD because I don't fidget. I was looping a hairband around and around my fingers and wrists because I couldn't sit still. I almost laughed at the irony, but I was too nervous.

Seravance
10-28-12, 06:08 PM
I think sometimes there is a tendency or a possibility for bipolar in AD/HD people that doesn't become obvious or active until it finally builds up to an intolerable point, or something external brings on a full-blown crisis. like college or other stressful situations. you start with small swings, and the mania is so useful and so much fun that you sleep less and less, more stimulants, less healthy habits until you can't help but crash, and then once you recover, off you go again. a lot of college students do it, but for some of us it's a potentially deadly trigger. The pressured speech, superfast talking, no sleeping makes it a definite possibility.

But these things aren't unmanageable. The depression is. that's why I don't understand why she switched my meds before she even knew gave them the chance to work. How does she know that I'm not just an unusually hyper adult? I don't feel like these symptoms are severe enough to warrant even medicating.

Then again, I just keep reading that if it is Bipolar, it just gets worse before it has a chance to get better. I feel doomed. I am a very stressed person and I've noticed these phases of mania coming more frequently and even lasting longer. That probably means it's just going to get that much worse. :(


I appreciate these replies!

Lunacie
10-28-12, 06:35 PM
I think sometimes there is a tendency or a possibility for bipolar in AD/HD people that doesn't become obvious or active until it finally builds up to an intolerable point, or something external brings on a full-blown crisis. like college or other stressful situations. you start with small swings, and the mania is so useful and so much fun that you sleep less and less, more stimulants, less healthy habits until you can't help but crash, and then once you recover, off you go again. a lot of college students do it, but for some of us it's a potentially deadly trigger. The pressured speech, superfast talking, no sleeping makes it a definite possibility.

Statistically speaking, bipolar becomes easier to deal with after middle age, if you are careful with your treatment before that and don't get yourself killed in a stupid manic accident or a deliberate depressive one.

I speak from experience.

I don't know much about bipolar or the statistics on it.

I took a class last year with a 50-year old woman with bipolar.

She was fine while she was on meds, but medicare messed up

and she went through a really tough couple of weeks before

she could get back on on them.

Seravance
10-28-12, 06:41 PM
I don't know much about bipolar or the statistics on it.

I took a class last year with a 50-year old woman with bipolar.

She was fine while she was on meds, but medicare messed up

and she went through a really tough couple of weeks before

she could get back on on them.

I worry about that too. I've already seen the potential for issues at my pharmacy (not for the Bipolar meds, but still). If I'm medicated and doing fine, will I do a complete 180 if I'm forced to quit for any length of time? I already (possibly ridiculously) feel like a ticking time bomb. :(

phantasm
10-30-12, 04:41 PM
Seravance - I can see your concern and the best advice I can give you, based on what you have mentioned, is to write down your concerns, questions, fears about what you are going through. With your doctor, address the important/urgent issues first.

If you really feel like your doctor isn't able to help you thoroughly, can you find another one? People may go through many docs before they find one that is truly able to help or on the same page.

I had extreme anxiety before I had enough information about my diagnosis. I thought my world was crumbling around me and I felt noone would ever figure out what was wrong with me. It's a awful place to be. it takes time, and it can all seem so foreign to learn about bipolar and ADHD.

phantasm
10-31-12, 11:54 AM
Seravance - Have you seen this article?? I think it addresses some of your questions regarding having more depression symptoms.

http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/rapid-cycling-bipolar-disorder

Seravance
10-31-12, 12:16 PM
Seravance - Have you seen this article?? I think it addresses some of your questions regarding having more depression symptoms.

http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/rapid-cycling-bipolar-disorder

I have not seen that. Thank you for posting it! It does answer address a lot of my concerns. :)

I'm trying not to be as upset about the diagnosis as I was, but it's a struggle. Thank you for talking with me about it!

Seravance
10-31-12, 12:19 PM
I had extreme anxiety before I had enough information about my diagnosis. I thought my world was crumbling around me and I felt noone would ever figure out what was wrong with me. It's a awful place to be. it takes time, and it can all seem so foreign to learn about bipolar and ADHD.

Have you tried Adderall or other stimulants since you've been diagnosed as Bipolar? I'm curious about this, because I've read that people with Bipolar Disorder really should not be taking stimulants. Also, I think the Seroquel I'm taking might be counteracting my Adderall, and instead of feeling like I actually have enough energy to get through the day, I feel completely exhausted and drained.

phantasm
11-08-12, 08:45 PM
My Psychiatrist actually presribed me Ritalin. I just started taking it a month or so ago and I take it when I am going to have a very busy and stressful day. I know what my anxiety triggers are, so I use it for those situations. It makes half of my symptoms much better, such as my anxiety and limits my impulsivity, but it makes other issues worse such as irritability when it wears off, and It's hard for me to sit quietly and focus. I feel like I need to be active and I just want to get up and do something. Which at times is ok, but I work a lot on my computer for my job, so it becomes an issue at times.

I see my doc in a couple weeks, to look at other options if this doesn't seem to be the best choice.

Because I don't have extreme mania and depression, he decided to try me on low dose stimulants before it was outruled completely. :eyebrow: Freaked me out a little, but I too was curious.

I'm glad you are feeling a bit more settled with your diagnosis. I still have my moments when it just is frustrating and lonely trying to figure this all out. But one thing that I realized is that in a way we are lucky to have a diagnosis because at least we now have a place to start and something to research. If we just had issues that had no name, we would be totally lost and helpless. A diagnosis lets you know that you aren't alone and that, to me, brings hope.

Musiscience
11-09-12, 02:31 PM
This is something I am confused about. I know that I am depressed. I would go so far as to say that I am very severely depressed and it's a struggle for me to not do damage to myself because of it. However, while I know I have had manic moods or phases, I don't feel like they are severe. I don't understand how a random and unharmful manic mood can change my entire diagnosis. Is it because it gets worse? Should I be expecting to have some sort of break where I do something that leaves me hospitalized? I just feel like I don't have enough information, regardless of how much research I do.



I'm pretty sure that the only reason my doctor didn't stop prescribing me Adderall is because I virtually begged her not to. I feel like the only reason I even keep trying in school and work is because I have that extra push that keeps me focused, even if it does make me manic at times. This has all been so stressful and annoying, I don't want to add another med change on top of it. :(




I'm not sure she 100% understands ADHD, unfortunately. I just keep telling myself that it is better than the people I've read about here who encounter doctors who don't even believe in it. And I definitely fidget. All the time. I was fidgeting when she told me that I don't have ADHD because I don't fidget. I was looping a hairband around and around my fingers and wrists because I couldn't sit still. I almost laughed at the irony, but I was too nervous.


Hey there!

The reason why these tiny phases of hypomania changes the whole story is because depression and bipolar disorder are not treated the same way. Antidepressants may not only not work on bipolars, it can also worsen the disease both depression and hypomania wise. I have recently been diagnosed BP II too, after many years of being prescribed a whole lot of antidepressants and stimulants, and can truly say that it was an unpleasant experience. In my case, the antidepressants would start by triggering hypomania for the first few days (YES! it works, I am not depressed anymore, I told myself), the stop working and I would go back to depression.

I could never tolerate stimulants either, particularly adderal and concerts, they would shoot me right into a mixed state where I would feel like a generator was plugged into me giving me incredible anxiety as well as suicidal depression. That was at 10 mg adderal xr. That is probably the reason why she wanted to take away the stimulants until you were on a mood stabilizer, to be sure that it would not aggravate your case.

I know it is a big diagnosis and could be scary, but you are a thousand time better off treated for the right disease and slowly accepting it than deny and delay treatment. I can truly say that since I am on a mood stabilizer, it has made a world of difference for me :yes:. I truly wish you the same! ;)

I really hope all will be good for you in these hard times,

Never loose hope :p!!