Yes......All Gasp and get it over with, but yours truly had a date...Well just met someone from the internet for the 1st time to get to know each other more kinda deal. UGH!!!!!!!!

I was thinking about how he happened to work how I need to get out and meet ppl and get more exposure to the outside world....is he trying to say the lifestyle I have now wrong? Ya know the giving me advice about moving out and still helping mom and how I gotta get out more and all this...I never asked him for help...so if he tellin me this...he must have a nose problem with it.....like my situation is not normal for a typical 28 year old woman and there for something's a miss. Like I have to live and act a certain way to live up to everyone elses expectations or something just to fit in? where's the individuality in that? Heh You know I always feel like this.


Hard to tell with social anxiety.....always feeling like I am being judged...but heh that always been me...not being able to fit into society.

Also Boggling to me thinking maybe I would not be so quick to think I am being judged if in some ways ashamed & embarrased of what I think I am being Judged on.

How Do I know the difference when I am being Judged or I'm Just being Paranoid?

What was the context of the conversation? Is this a person who is genuinely caring and concerned or oppinionated and obnoxious about it?

Was he responding to a comment(s) you made about your lifestyle or getting out or socializing in general/potential "date"?

That's the part of social anxiety I hate so much. I feel like everyone's watching me and judging me. I used to read parent-advice books and watch Dr. Phil...I had to stop. Every time I did a single thing I would imagine them watching me and what they would think or say about it. I know this is wrong. There is a certain amount of input we should take from others (especially if it's a person who loves us or a boss who's genuinely not a p*ick).

I've always wanted to have the confidence and security in myself to say "I don't care what other people think of me." I wanted the power to be all mine and not give it away to everyone to judge and criticize. For example: I sing in the car. Loud. I don't often have it all to myself without kids and VeggieTales tapes playing. So when I am alone I put on my showtunes. I get really into it. I had Chicago on and was beltin' it out when the driver in the van in front of me noticed. She could see what I was doing and rather than ignoring it she signaled to me that I was "crazy". Now a certain part of me is embarrassed, and the other part is annoyed for caring at all. I feel genuinely sorry for a person who walks through life with a bug shoved that far up her butt. But I do it with those closest to me (which is worse), not just strangers.

Back to you: my point is, was he responding to you? Did he notice something you said or the way you said it that hinted to him "I'm 28, I "should" be out on my own with a career and one day settling down with someone."

You're not paranoid, everyone really is out to get you. Everyone does have an oppinion and think that they know what's best for you and they're right, you really are screwing up your whole life. :p

In this instance you can tell by the way he said it. You can compare it to the way he usually speaks to you via net. Did he suffer a temporary bout of "foot in mouth disease"? What's the other point of view on this? Do you value this person's oppinion?

And now that we've both overanalyzed it shelve it and go do something wild that makes you feel genuinely most like yourself.

Mel-

In my next life, I come back as a finger-waving, foot-stomping, larger-than-life, take-no-prisoners sista girl:

WHO COULDN'T GIVE A RAT'S PATOOT WHAT ANYONE THINKS OF HER...:cool:

Until then, my motto is: "Just because you are paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you!":eek:

[EYEFORGOT]... I get really into it. I had Chicago on and was beltin' it out when the driver in the van in front of me noticed... she signaled to me that I was "crazy". ...[/QUOTE]

Chel,
I am so mad for you I want to lecture that lady who can take a normal joyful moment and put their pessimistic negative bullpooty to it! BAH HUMBUG
too bad if she has a bad day how totally narrow minded and rude!
I hope she has no children to rub off on!
Truly icky thought
I've met kids who are gossipy and cut folks, specifically girls as soon as someone walks out of a room, and I just KNOW that at such an early age, these girls got this NOT funny trait from their mama's!
Such a negative rant here, huh!:confused: dunno just outa the blue!

my point is, was he responding to you? Did he notice something you said or the way you said it that hinted to him "I'm 28, I "should" be out on my own with a career and one day settling down with someone." .[/QUOTE]



Melly,
I'm looking at the positive side here and thinking your friend is just trying to be helpful. Like Chel writes he most likely is mirroring what he thinks you are thinking and saying it back to you.
I have 100% confidence in you that you will not let someone try to run your life...

do something wild that makes you feel genuinely most like yourself...
do something wild that makes you feel genuinely most like yourself.[/QUOTE]
I love this Chel I think I'll replay it mentally often as my mantra!

Well I went a-googling and found the following, some totally off thread.

dwelling on your symptoms and on what others might think of them will only make matters worse. "Imagining that others notice their nervousness makes people with social phobias still more anxious," observes The Harvard Mental Health Letter. "They come to anticipate the resulting awkwardness and poor performance—an expectation that sets off further alarms when they approach feared situations

How about imagining how you will react IF someone even hints at how they expect you to fee/act/be --live up to THEIR expectations...
practice simply imagining yourself in the circumstance you fear. Unfold the scene with as much detail as possible. Your anxiety level may rise; but keep reminding yourself that the disapproval of others is not as likely or as severe as you think, and construct the ending of the scene to support that view.

sufferers who correct their misconceptions feel more in control, better able to cope

In social anxiety disorder, anxiety and its accompanying physical symptoms produce misperceptions and fears that further increase anxiety, playing a crucial role in an ongoing vicious cycle, with anticipatory anxiety leading to avoidance.
I'm anxious but I'm here and that's a victory.
This is tough, but it will soon be over if I don't blow it out of proportion.
I've handled this before and can handle it now.
Breathe slow and shallow.
I've exaggerated how much others are aware of my anxiety. I'll stay here and do my survey to see how much they're really noticing.
I'll be fine in a bit if I don't avoid this situation. If I can stay in this room 15 minutes, I'll be proud of myself and it will be easier the next time

all for now hope some of this clicks as useful in the future

charlie@FeelingSpaceyToday.com;)

dwelling on your symptoms and on what others might think of them will only make matters worse.

ACK...I know part of me is saying that already....but ick I can't help this feelin me get..dont know how to shrug it off sometimes..and then sometimes I can....but of course sometimes it strikes a nerve ya know...:eek:

dwelling on your symptoms and on what others might think of them will only make matters worse.

ACK...I know part of me is saying that already....but ick I can't help this feelin me get..dont know how to shrug it off sometimes..and then sometimes I can....but of course sometimes it strikes a nerve ya know...:eek:


AHHHHKK yuk.. damn I have to say I can totally relate to the feeling inside that you know is not supposed to come out and you freakin hate more than life and it sucks that you know it still comes out or into mind ugggggkk...

I have had the feeling that I met this awesome man I still, in many a way, wish would be my future one and only. I do not want anyone now for the life of me but... well he is like.. the one I have always imagined to fit me.. and like.. uggg yet he is my best friend right now and like.. i donno.. He fills my heart and sould with reality. He also has ADD and like.. he makes me realize alot of stuff I ignore or know but can not seem to channel. He is growing inside as well and yet to see it. I want to be that person to show him but well cant fix the world on my own ya knows.. it is just a feeling.. as he says.. (which I feel is true) that feeling is only pure emotion.. WE ARE NOT EMOTIONS DAMNIT LOL GET A FU.KIN' CLUE!! lol hahahah sorry to be so blunt but it is truth in my own words. Ya know.. why change for anyone else.. if ya don't like it .. sorry for ya! and datz dat!!

I donno I just feell.... blahhh blahhh feel what?? what do you think?? My bestf riend told me this.. what do you think.. THINKKKKKK DAMNIT ,. THAT IS THE POINT.. it is a long journey but we can all do it and we can actually do it right!!

BUT .. ahh well.. my opinion .. lol heh heh heh..

*smile* (evil grin)

Feeling pure emotion...Well Duh:p Sometimes it triggerds from old wounds and instict as well.....where in lies how we eventually become our own worst enemy overwealmed with insecurity.

DUDE! YOU'RE THINKIN AND YOU ARE NOT EVEN AWAKE! LOL HAHAHA:p

What can I say....I'm talented like that :p