View Full Version : Corrupt wish game


TygerSan
11-08-12, 12:52 PM
This proved to be very amusing elsewhere:

The rules of the game are simple:

The person above you wished for something.
You must grant their wish, but like any good trickster/wish granter, something goes wrong with their wish. *You* get to decide what that is.

So, if I wish for the gentleman in the waiting room to stop yammering on so that I can work, the person below me may say:

"Your wish is granted. The man falls asleep, snoring like a foghorn"

Once you grant your fellow forummer's wish, it's your turn to wish for whatever your heart desires.

TygerSan
11-08-12, 12:52 PM
I'll start:

I wish for lunch in a 5-star restaurant.

Conman
11-08-12, 01:33 PM
"Your wish is granted. The president arrives and your lunch is done half-assedly due to all chefs' attention on him."

I wish for a legalization law for illinois.

TygerSan
11-08-12, 01:43 PM
I wish for a legalization law for illinois.

Granted, but you develop a serious allergy and can't be around smoke of any kid.

I wish I wasn't stuck in a car dealership waiting room.

Conman
11-08-12, 07:41 PM
Granted, except that a complete psychopath takes over the building making demands so the building's on lock down.

I wish for the ability to control time (this ought to be interesting for corruption)

scrambled86
11-08-12, 07:54 PM
I wish for the ability to control time (this ought to be interesting for corruption)

Granted, but your ability causes you to age by 20 years every time you change time.

nanners
11-09-12, 02:28 AM
Granted, but your ability causes you to age by 20 years every time you change time.

You have to include a new wish silly :)

avjgirsijdhtjhs
11-09-12, 09:03 PM
I wish that we could forget about scrambled86's missed wish opportunity, and continue with the thread.

TygerSan
11-10-12, 05:33 PM
Granted, but scrambled86 is stuck in a recursive loop, wishing for more wishes until the server crashes and we can play no more.

I wish autumn would last forever.

lunaslobo
11-11-12, 12:02 PM
I wish autumn would last forever.
wishgranted butwith no growing season the world soon is starving.
I wish I could fly

Flory
11-11-12, 12:05 PM
luna, you can now fly, however because i have had to give you wings, i've removed your arms and feet, instead you have flippers

i wish i could walk through walls

Conman
11-11-12, 12:09 PM
granted, but even if you know where youre walking into, it's not always gonna be the room you think youre in when you walk into it (different room than you want each time you phase through).

i wish me and a girl friend had tickets to Flosstradamus this december

scrambled86
11-11-12, 12:17 PM
i wish me and a girl friend had tickets to Flosstradamus this december

Granted, but the performers get sickness and diarreoa live on stage and it spreads super fast to all the audience.

I wish had not forgotten to make my wish in my previous reply :p

Flory
11-11-12, 12:43 PM
HAHAHAHAHA, SCRAMBLED!!!! adding to this, the vomiting is projectile and douses the entire audience !

i grant your wish, however i have chosen that the wish you made was to paddle in the vomit and diaroeah at the gig !

i wish i could talk to animals

Flory
11-11-12, 12:43 PM
@conman..thats actually a pretty cool twist !

Subtract81
11-11-12, 01:21 PM
wish granted but you find much of the language used by animals quite unsavory and in an unfortunate safari incident, after a heated exchange with a tiger your legs are eaten and and you are ironically warned against stepping foot in africa again.

I wish i was a towel.

TygerSan
11-11-12, 01:21 PM
Granted. You now understand that all animals have banded together to plot to overthrow humanity. However, when you try to warn people about this plot, they think you're nuts and commit you.

I wish for a glass of water.

Flory
11-11-12, 01:23 PM
granted, you must drink a 100litre glass of water, your electrolytes are so out of sync now that you are admitted to hospital with heart failure (hhh thats really grim sorry tyger :p)

i wish i could drive

scrambled86
11-11-12, 01:31 PM
HAHAHAHAHA, SCRAMBLED!!!! adding to this, the vomiting is projectile and douses the entire audience !

i grant your wish, however i have chosen that the wish you made was to paddle in the vomit and diaroeah at the gig !

i wish i could talk to animals

:giggle: good one Flory! But gross :p

Your wish is granted, you can now talk to animals - but you become a half human / half animal and now have hoofs, a hairy face and you snort when you talk human. And you sneeze spiders.

I wish that I could teleport to wherever I wanted to whenever I wanted to,

Oops - I missed page 2, sorry people!

Flory
11-11-12, 01:32 PM
HAHAHAHAHA.....hoooooves, my hoooooves (did you see freddy got fingered?)
sneezing spiders is savage :( lol

Flory
11-11-12, 01:33 PM
@Subtract :p i can officially say i got legless in africa :D

Subtract81
11-11-12, 01:33 PM
wish granted but you can only drive trains
wish granted but whenever you teleport you shrink by 6 inches

I wish i was a little bit taller

Flory
11-11-12, 01:34 PM
*starts finishing that line with the rap song ...i wish i was a baller, wish i had a girl if i did i would call her...etc etc)

TygerSan
11-11-12, 04:26 PM
I wish i was a little bit taller

Granted, but your legs are the only part of you that grows, you're now 20 feet tall and give yourself a concussion every time you go through a doorway.

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat (only 22 posts till the inevitable)

Conman
11-11-12, 05:00 PM
@conman..thats actually a pretty cool twist !

thanks, kinda like Nightcrawler's problem.

granted, but the animals dont like you and cuss at you.

wish my chrismas vacation didnt interfere with me seeing Flosstradamus...

nanners
11-12-12, 12:43 AM
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat (only 22 posts till the inevitable)

Granted, but the rabbit jumps out of the hat an random to beat your friends with it's bat. Sadly, your friends don't come over much anymore.

I wish I had a six four impala.

anonymouslyadd
11-12-12, 12:52 AM
Granted but you have 12 of them inside your home and can't sleep in your bed!!!

I wish I could stop my desires about love.

Subtract81
11-12-12, 06:26 PM
granted, you no longer have desires for love, but you are a towel.

I wish you were here.

TygerSan
11-12-12, 06:57 PM
Granted "You" are now "here" but you don't know who "you" are or where "here" is.

I wish the hard drive on our desktop weren't corrupted.

Subtract81
11-12-12, 07:50 PM
granted, your hard drive is no longer corrupted, but your mind is now corrupted to the extent you can no longer understand anything on your hard drive.

I wish I was omniscient.

silivrentoliel
11-12-12, 08:11 PM
Granted, but with that omniscience comes the mental insanity that knowing too much can cause, as proven by Donna in Dr Who.

I wish I had more money

Subtract81
11-13-12, 05:45 AM
wish granted, you have more money than you could ever wish for, after years of destroying the environment for profit and nuclear war the planet becomes uninhabitable, money is useless before you even get a chance to spend it, humanity becomes extinct.

I wish all humans were more open-minded, intelligent, and compassionate.

Conman
11-13-12, 09:51 AM
granted: but now that everybody seems more perfect, everything's kinda boring and not enough conflict

i wish i was able to stop listening to this song

Subtract81
11-13-12, 10:36 AM
wish granted, you are deaf.

i wish real karma existed.

Conman
11-13-12, 11:01 AM
I'm already Partially Deaf!

granted: now everybody in the world gets fair treatment, but that still doesnt stop some good people being screwed over and vice versa for bad people now that Karma from past lives can interfere with your current life

wish this week would move faster

Subtract81
11-13-12, 11:04 AM
I had hearing issues when i was younger too and surgery, have acute hearing where music concerned have had tinnitus for at least 15 years... interesting coincidence? wtf! past lives?? haha maybe a little too lateral!... i thought this was supposed to be a corrupt yet realistic thread!

this week has now moved to next, this cycle will repeat ad nauseum and so you will be forced to repeat this week until you die.

I wish wishes came true!

Conman
11-13-12, 02:08 PM
granted: some dick wishes for the ****** up world

i wish there was a way to win at this (seems like a good tip for if i ever encounter some being who grants corrupted wishes)

TygerSan
11-13-12, 03:20 PM
Granted, you win! You are now in charge of the ****** up world, and everyone else has gone home to lick their wounds.

I wish I could calm down enough to prepare tonight's lecture.

Subtract81
11-13-12, 07:06 PM
Wish granted you are calm, so calm that you are comatose.

I wish i could grant wishes

Flory
11-13-12, 08:09 PM
you can grant wishes, though you may not grant wishes for yourself only cruel and evil people with evil intentions...

sooo holla at me...grant me a wish :P

i wish i could fight professionally

Subtract81
11-13-12, 08:45 PM
wish granted, but you are contractually obliged to fight men, namely Anderson Silva, and you end up hospitalized with a broken head...

ouch sorry :/ but you did ask for it...

I wish i could beat the **** out of Anderson Silva!

Flory
11-13-12, 08:49 PM
wish granter broken...this is not possible.....ever....EVER

instead you fight Nick Diaz who beats your a55 for 5 rounds, flips you th bird a few times and calls you a b*tch

Subtract81
11-13-12, 08:52 PM
Brutal, and from Diaz of all people, how humiliating...

New wish granter please, anyone? i am desperate to pound anderson silva's face in, and Nick Diaz now...

Flory
11-13-12, 08:56 PM
why so? i used to feel this way until i accepted that..he is just the greatest fighter in the world...literally..the best..i wished so badly that chael would beat th sh*t out of him but it was futile...nobody can...we just have to accept this...

Jon Jones on the other hand...i grant wish for you to smash that pr*cks beard off of his face, if i can refereee :)

as a side note...i would do anything for one night with nate diaz....mmmm...not so much nick...his face looks like one of the statues from rushmore...WARDIAZ

Subtract81
11-13-12, 09:05 PM
Well i figured a wish granter would have the ability to grant any wish, obviously out of all the wishes made so far this is the least viable...

I think Jon Jones could take silva but i would happily smash his face in for u :)

on a side note, it is my personal opinion that both the diaz brothers fell out of the ugly tree hit all the branches and then both landed face first on a ford fiesta

Flory
11-13-12, 09:09 PM
i pray that silva takes that pr*ck out...i am not brave enough to call myself a silva fun, just wise enough to know he is the best...he will beat that smug little pri*k like it's nothing...

gsp best beat condit this weekend as well....i will pray for the day that nick's suspension is up and he can put a whooping on george

Nate...i don't know something about him i just find hot...strange i know...is just cos he is bad *** i guess :p..and his striking is just...amazing...the serra fight was ridiculous, that recent submission as well, with th guys tongue just hanging out..just amazing...i like a guy with a bad attitude pahah

Flory
11-13-12, 09:10 PM
i wish bisping could get a title shot or at least an interim title shot

Subtract81
11-13-12, 09:21 PM
One thing is for sure if they both bring their A game it is going to be one hell of a fight, Jones is naturally the bigger guy but the way he has dispatched everyone he has fought has been brutal, machida was the one guy i thought stood a chance and he destroyed him, i think Silva will lose and it will probably signal the end of his career, he can't fight on forever.

I like GSP but it is mostly because i like people with class in general, and he seems pretty smart, both traits which the diaz brothers are severely lacking in...

diaz brothers do amuse me a little tho with their gangsta ways ha, the ufc has lost some big characters in rampage and tito, serra was funny, so need more characters to keep it interesting, chael sonnen cracked me up even though he is a tool.

Subtract81
11-13-12, 09:27 PM
dont get me started on bisping, i am all for patriotism in sports but i couldn't stand that manc ****, but objectively speaking he is nowhere near good enough, was so happy when dan henderson finally shut him up, he has become much less of a **** since then.

julesjampot
11-14-12, 06:34 PM
As i am English, not understanding where this thread is going, but i do know it going wrong, so moderator note keep on target please or formal warnings will be issued to individuals. Jules

Subtract81
11-14-12, 06:47 PM
wish granted, thread is now back on target, but those english people who watch ufc get offended and they invent a new "fun game" of practising submission holds on you every week.

I wish up was down

Flory
11-14-12, 07:18 PM
Subtract..literally LOL'D at your post :p
me and subtract are both english...just mma fans :P

up is now down..unfortunately the table just flew up/down and smacked me in th face..thanks for that subtract :p

i wish i had a pair of Louboutin's...

Conman
11-14-12, 07:33 PM
are those shoes? whatever.
Granted: your first week of wearing them and showing them off to all of your Flory-friends goes well, the day after whatever warranty or day you can return, they snap and break.

I wish life was a little bit easier

Flory
11-14-12, 07:42 PM
*takes shoes back to store, launches one at sale assistants face, stuffs the 8 inch heel in another smug sale assistants mouth, runs into th store room and steals 2 pairs for the hassle*

Granted:Life is easier, however for every issue that eases up a tragedy happens to another person within a 10 mile radius of you

of_two_minds
11-15-12, 07:23 PM
You rush out of the store so fast you run smack into Christian Louboutin, knocking him to the ground. He suffers a concussion and never designs another pair of shoes.

I wish I owned a Tesla Model S.

Subtract81
11-21-12, 10:59 AM
You now own a Tesla Model S but in an unfortunate handbrake failure accident when going to pick up the car it ends up running you over and you the damage caused to your body means you will never drive again.

I wish my brain had an instruction manual (not that i ever read instruction manuals)

Conman
11-21-12, 02:29 PM
granted, the instructions are in an old dead language which is no longer taught and all native speakers are dead or don't know a lick of english.

i wish i could do bad things tomorow and not get caught

TygerSan
11-27-12, 07:40 PM
Granted, you can do whatever you want because you are now completely invisible and inaudible. . . and you stay that way for the rest of your life.

I wish that teleportation existed so I wouldn't have to sit on a long plane flight ever again.

Conman
11-27-12, 09:05 PM
granted, remember the movie The Fly? well it's probably accurate in that when you teleport (regardless of how you do it) you have to take all the molecules of what's touching/on/immediately near you (like 1 cm). and nobody ever said you could teleport and come out the exact same, your molecules reform badly so you look like a deranged beast that may or may not be alive

wish i could ace this Thermodynamics exam next wednesday

Subtract81
11-27-12, 10:39 PM
Granted you ace the exam but you find out it was the wrong exam entirely so have to sit another which you funk miserably

I wish I could fall asleep at will

TygerSan
11-28-12, 12:46 PM
Granted, you are now narcoleptic and not only fall asleep at will, but any time you get remotely excited about something, as well as when driving.

I wish the semester were over already.

Nifferka
11-29-12, 12:01 PM
Granted. But you have not done any of the work that you were meant to do from the time you made your wish until the end of the semester. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. You are now going to be held responsible for not having done any of that work.

I wish this half-rain, half-snow miserable weather would stop.

TygerSan
11-29-12, 04:44 PM
Granted. But you have not done any of the work that you were meant to do from the time you made your wish until the end of the semester. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. You are now going to be held responsible for not having done any of that work. That's sadly close to reality. . . (and shall I admit that I'm the one teaching? I'm sure the students would have been pleased. . . )

Your wish is granted: you now live on a planet where there is no precipitation at all . . . and it's always intolerably hot.

I wish that the bureaucrats in charge of my livelihood would quit ******* everything up.

Flory
11-29-12, 06:26 PM
Granted, however...now every time you lose a bill, spill coffee on a letter, or fail to file something a bureacrat somewhere in the world dies.....Tyger..can you save all the bureacrats...it's your only chance, a species in danger :p

I wish i had a pet owl

Subtract81
11-29-12, 07:40 PM
granted you have a pet owl, but it eats you and steals your identity.

I wish i had a friendly pet orca and a big enough tank to keep him in (alive)

TygerSan
12-06-12, 03:56 PM
Granted, you have a tank big enough, and a friendly orca, but you deprive your entire town of drinking water in order to maintain the tank, so they run you out of town with pitchforks and brooms!

I wish there was no such thing as the common cold.

of_two_minds
12-09-12, 10:26 PM
I wish there was no such thing as the common cold.

Granted, but the viruses that caused the common cold also stunted the growth of rats. Rats the size of VW Beetles are now overrunning the planet.

I wish I got a management position at a local hospital, where executives are earning high six-figure to low seven-figure salaries.

Conman
12-10-12, 01:18 AM
granted, you **** up your taxes and the IRS nails your ***

i wish Mickey Johnson wasnt drinking on the job [dockworker], 2 days ago

avjgirsijdhtjhs
12-10-12, 01:47 PM
Granted. Now he's blind from methanol poisoning from the moonshine he drank the night before.

I'd like to impress Shania Twain, but don't know if I can since I've heard she's hard to impress. I wish I could impress Shania Twain.

of_two_minds
12-10-12, 03:51 PM
I'd like to impress Shania Twain, but don't know if I can since I've heard she's hard to impress. I wish I could impress Shania Twain.

Granted. She was impressed enough to have a restraining order issued and have you arrested.

I wish I were fluent in all European languages.

Conman
12-10-12, 03:52 PM
avjigrs: done, now she's gone all Fatal Attraction on your ***! (damn whoever posted before me!)

of_two_minds: done, now youre not fluent in English anymore (that includes the goofy British English) and all the other languages sound like English so youll never be understood or understand people anymore

i wish there were more people here who have seen Wishmaster

(for the record, the wish i made before this one wouldve undone the whole thread)

ADHDTigger
12-11-12, 04:26 PM
POOF!!! More of us have now seen Wishmaster (except me- I need to look that one up)

Here's the thing. Now that we have all seen Wishmaster, it has been removed as it is no longer as unique as it's makers had hoped. :(

I wish it would get mildly warmer here so that the ice in the roads could melt.

of_two_minds
12-11-12, 04:43 PM
I wish it would get mildly warmer here so that the ice in the roads could melt.

Granted. Of course, because of global warming. And all that that entails.

I wish my sciatica would go away.

EvilynTent
12-11-12, 04:55 PM
I wish my sciatica would go away.

Your sciatica is gone, because all of the nerves in your body have been removed

I would like car tires that never go flat.

Drewbacca
12-11-12, 04:59 PM
You awake to find yourself in a room of rubber-walls... made from tires that will never go flat.

I wish I had something better to do than play this game.

EvilynTent
12-11-12, 05:41 PM
You are so outrageously busy at the local shelter scooping cat litter boxes that you never have to to play online.

I would love to have a gourmet coffee shop in my office

ADHDTigger
12-11-12, 05:42 PM
Taa Daa!!!

You now have something better to do. You have 7 bazillion better things to do! Have fun!!!

I wish my cat would understand that Mom is a movable object. I get up to go to the bathroom and return to glares and cattitude!

ADHDTigger
12-11-12, 05:44 PM
You are so outrageously busy at the local shelter scooping cat litter boxes that you never have to to play online.

I would love to have a gourmet coffee shop in my office

Oh look! Starbucks just opened a new office and given you head of line privilege! Of course, your disposable income is now... disposed of!

Drewbacca
12-12-12, 01:03 PM
Your cat grows to be the size of a car, and carries you around the room to his/her hearts content. Don't even bother trying to leave the house, that's not going to happen... it's either play time or dinner time... or possibly nap/cuddle time.

I wish 3d movies would go away and never return.

TygerSan
12-12-12, 02:37 PM
Granted, someone invents an immersive virtual reality experience that supercedes 3d technology. It is both infinitely more annoying and expensive.

I wish I had enough money to buy people nice presents this year.

ADHDTigger
12-12-12, 05:24 PM
I've got you covered, my dear! All the money you need!

Of course you will be wrapping for the next two weeks!!! Don't forget the tape!

I wish I could spend a lazy day watching Mythbusters blow things up!

TygerSan
12-12-12, 06:11 PM
Bah! Wrapping presents? You have me wrapping presents? This is me wrapping presents:

<object><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"></param><param name="movie" value="https://www.facebook.com/v/380577045305176"></param><embed src="https://www.facebook.com/v/380577045305176" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="1"></embed></object>

Your wish is granted, you watch Mythbusters all day and don't realize that the cannonball they've accidentally launched is headed right towards your car, so you have no car and therefore spend even *more* time watching Mythbusters, till your brain rots completely.

I wish these finals would magically grade themselves.

Drewbacca
12-12-12, 06:19 PM
Granted... you accidentally wrapped your gifts in assigned papers and began to grade the wrapping paper! A's for everyone! (except that one guy).

I wish I invented a device with which to talk to the dead.

of_two_minds
12-13-12, 01:55 PM
I wish I invented a device with which to talk to the dead.

Granted, but now you never sleep because the dead don't sleep and they keep you up all the time looking for someone to talk to.

I wish I could find a good Christmas gift for my wife.

ADHDTigger
12-16-12, 03:45 AM
Two Minds, the perfect gift requires a diamond or 17. You are so scr......

I don't care if I never slept again as long as I could talk one more time to...

*sigh*



I wish I could figure out how to stay on top of house keeping!

of_two_minds
12-17-12, 09:33 AM
I wish I could figure out how to stay on top of house keeping!

Granted. You hire a maid. One day you get home to find not only did she clean up, she cleaned out. Everything is gone, down to the bare walls and floors. Like the Grinch stole it.

I wish I would finally finish the bookshelves I started building in July.

TygerSan
12-17-12, 10:43 AM
Granted, you finish building the bookshelves, but you've accumulated so much stuff to put on them between July and now that they buckle under the excess weight and you have to start over, ad infinitum.

I wish that my "friends" on Facebook would actually acknowledge my posts, for once :(

ADHDTigger
12-19-12, 02:23 PM
Tyger, I grant that wish. Suddenly your useless Facebook "friends" are hanging from your every word... and demanding MORE!!!

Spare time? You have no more spare time. Every moment is now concentrated on feeding the hoard of "friends".

I wish you a Merry Catmas!

TygerSan
12-19-12, 02:58 PM
Yay! Now you're perpetually followed around by a yowling colony of 50 feral cats in heat, which gives new meaning to the word "caroling".

I wish I weren't so gdmed sensitive.

of_two_minds
01-24-13, 11:21 AM
I wish I weren't so gdmed sensitive.

You now laugh at adversity. Unfortunately, you laugh at sad movies, bad news, terminal illnesses, divorces, break-ups, crimes, funerals....and are consequently friendless.

I wish my herniated disc would quit bothering me.

TygerSan
02-05-13, 01:14 PM
Granted, you have no spine and collapse into a puddle on the floor.

I wish I could focus on what I'm supposed to be doing right now.

saturday
02-05-13, 01:28 PM
Granted, you are now completely consumed by what you are doing and everything else will fall to the wayside.

I wish I could live on the beach.

dvdnvwls
02-05-13, 01:34 PM
Granted, you are now completely consumed by what you are doing and everything else will fall to the wayside.

I wish I could live on the beach.
Granted. It's a deserted rocky beach in the North Atlantic, inaccessible to other people, and recently covered by a thick & toxic oil spill.

I wish bad & evil people would stop being so successful in the world.

madsteph1999
02-09-13, 06:48 PM
Wish granted but when it is realized that all evil and cruel people no longer find success the evil doers start a socialist movement and success is spread out evenly among everyone and everyone is a little successful but no one is super successful anymore.

I wish I could say commands and they would magically be done, like Laundry done.....house clean......keys found.....and on and on.

eats_mice
03-16-13, 06:03 PM
Granted, but due to a slip of the tongue, you tell your friend, "Make me a sandwich," thus, your friend turns you into a sandwich.


I wish I could dance with baby seals.

Drewbacca
03-16-13, 07:23 PM
Allahkazaaaaaaam! You find yourself running the gauntlet in the U.S. Navy Seal academy. I hope you can swim?

I wish that we didn't live in a disposable economy.

dvdnvwls
03-16-13, 07:24 PM
Granted; all the stupid useless items anyone in your family has ever bought are now stacked in your living room and you can't throw them away.

I wish I could be famous for having done something that benefits everyone.

avjgirsijdhtjhs
03-16-13, 07:29 PM
I wish I could dance with baby seals.

Granted. You get clubbed to death by poachers.

I wish I could be famous for having done something that benefits everyone.

avjgirsijdhtjhs
03-16-13, 08:24 PM
Ever seen "The Truman Show"? You are now the star of "The dvdnvwls Show".

I want a tracheostomy and a couple of road closures.

dvdnvwls
03-16-13, 08:35 PM
Ever seen "The Truman Show"? You are now the star of "The dvdnvwls Show".

I want a tracheostomy and a couple of road closures.

Granted. During your tracheotomy it is discovered that your lung capacity is so low that it won't help anyway. Those roads you talked about are closed; people are now bringing 4-wheel-drive trucks through your yard to get around the closures.

eats_mice
03-17-13, 10:39 AM
I wish the guy above me had wished for something =**(

TygerSan
03-17-13, 10:45 AM
Granted, he turns you into a toad, but the spell backfires and you wind up a garden gnome statue, staring into a very hairy man's bedroom window. The window has no blinds.

I wish spring break lasted longer.

AnythingBacon
03-17-13, 10:50 AM
Granted, but Christmas break has been eliminated and you have 5 finals for every class on December 26th.

I wish pillows never went flat.

Drewbacca
03-17-13, 11:10 AM
Your wish, is my command...

However, you will henceforth be required to put a blanket under your head and cover your self with a pillow, or face the full wrath of the law at the hands of the same people that don't let you cut tags off of your mattress.

I wish I could have a Mario-cart party with other members of this site.

AnythingBacon
03-17-13, 11:54 AM
Granted, You must always play as Toad, and saturday will forever hit you with the green shell right as you take the lead.

I wish Chipotle delivered.

dvdnvwls
03-17-13, 11:54 AM
Granted; their delivery business booms, they get cocky, and quality plummets.

I wish that each time I finished using an item it would put itself back where it belonged.

eats_mice
03-17-13, 05:44 PM
Granted, but you can't remember where everything is supposed to go, leaving you constantly searching for it anyways.

I wish it wasn't so dang cold in my basement.

AnythingBacon
03-17-13, 05:57 PM
Granted, The excessive heat coming from your basement reaches the polar ice caps causing them to melt.

I still wish Chipotle delivered

eats_mice
03-17-13, 09:56 PM
Granted. No side effects.

I wish for fish with my Ish wish dish.

midnightstar
03-18-13, 05:13 AM
Granted. You get fish but the fish came from a polluted river because of humans and is unsafe to eat.

I wish this room was not this cold.

BellaVita
03-18-13, 05:36 AM
Granted, your walls are now lit on fire and lava has been instilled in various places on the floor of that room to be used as feet-warmers.

I wish I could fall asleep on [my] command.

AnythingBacon
03-18-13, 05:55 AM
Granted, But your waking up is now on Drewbaccas command.

I wish my towel was more absorbant.

eats_mice
03-18-13, 04:25 PM
Granted, but it only absorbs Nickelodeon Slime.

I wish winter wouldn't last until April in Minnesota.

TygerSan
03-18-13, 04:28 PM
Granted, it is now perpetually the height of summer, and the black flies and mosquitos are so horrible due to the new climate that you look like one gigantic bug-bite.

I wish that my day were over already.

midnightstar
03-18-13, 04:35 PM
Granted - but it's night time for the next few days in a row and your body clock gets confused

I wish there was a volcano in my bedroom

KatrinaCaitlin
03-18-13, 05:02 PM
Granted-The volcano erupts, and ruins all your prized possessions.

I wish it would stop snowing.

midnightstar
03-18-13, 05:20 PM
Granted. It starts hailstoning heavily instead though.

I wish my anxiety would go jump into a volcano

Drewbacca
03-18-13, 06:39 PM
Granted! Due to a very complex chemical reaction, a funkadelic George Clinton and the P-Funk Mothership come back out... you are momentarily filled with relaxing vibes of the best Funk you've ever heard. However, once the music is over, you find yourself once again filled with anxiety and now the volcano is empty. It doesn't matter, because you will shortly pass out from Silicosis anyways...

I wish that I was in sunny-Florida on a golf-course with four members of ADDForum who hate snow as much as I do.

midnightstar
03-18-13, 06:57 PM
Granted but it's raining heavily and everyone gets drenched and no one can play Golf

I wish it was 5am here

yinyang
03-18-13, 07:08 PM
Granted but its 5AM on March 18th 1813. Yep you just earned a one way time travel ticket to the exact location you are now 200 years in the past.

I wish I could see into the future.

TygerSan
03-18-13, 07:10 PM
Granted, you can see into the future . . . but the things that you see 2,000,000 years in the future make you wish you hadn't peeked.

I wish I weren't so tired right now.

yinyang
03-18-13, 07:18 PM
Granted you aren't tired anymore but you have to spend the next 3 hours locked in a room full of sleeping babies.

I wish everybody in the world would adopt unicycles as their primary mode of transportation for 1 whole day.

dvdnvwls
03-18-13, 07:38 PM
Granted; it's the day that vacation you won was scheduled to start, and now you have to get 50 miles to the airport with your luggage, or forfeit the trip.

I wish I could speak Ukrainian.

BellaVita
03-18-13, 08:08 PM
Granted, but you left your eyes there.

I wish I still had my Chinchilla.

BellaVita
03-18-13, 08:09 PM
Granted; it's the day that vacation you won was scheduled to start, and now you have to get 50 miles to the airport with your luggage, or forfeit the trip.

I wish I could speak Ukrainian.

Granted, but you don't understand what you're saying.

I wish I could type faster on my iPhone.

dvdnvwls
03-18-13, 08:29 PM
I wish I still had my Chinchilla.

Just tie an ice pack to your lower jaw; your chin will be chilled very soon.

I wish I knew who the "left your eyes" response was to. :)

of_two_minds
03-25-13, 07:19 PM
I wish I knew who the "left your eyes" response was to. :)

You figure it out but forget your password and can't log in to tell anyone.

I wish I could find the matching color of paint to fix the patch on my car.

mctavish23
03-25-13, 09:12 PM
Granted, but the patch is really on a rag, stuck into a Pinto gas tank :D

I wish I had a watermelon (aka Little Rascals) :p


u r welcome:cool:

saturday
03-26-13, 09:52 PM
you are granted a very big watermelon, but for the rest of your life thats all you can eat.

I wish for a round trip ticket to any place of my choice.

midnightstar
03-27-13, 05:42 AM
Granted. But you accidentally drop it in a puddle on your way to the bus stop.

I wish I could sleep and not wake up feeling exhausted literally every morning

Conman
03-27-13, 01:04 PM
granted. you never wake up

wish for the power to overcome the devious djinn who make a wish corrupted

TygerSan
03-27-13, 02:12 PM
Granted, you *are* the devious djinn who corrupts wishes . . . and you're trapped in a bottle, unable to grant anything.

I wish my students actually were interested in what I'm teaching.

saturday
03-27-13, 02:38 PM
Granted, they are interested but dumb as door nails.

I wish I could speak another language.

midnightstar
03-27-13, 02:55 PM
Granted - but you forget every word of English

I wish my lower arm would stop aching

TygerSan
03-27-13, 08:07 PM
Granted, they are interested but dumb as door nails.
Are you spying on me?:eyebrow:

I wish my lower arm would stop aching

Granted. You are no longer in possession of either of your lower arms. If they don't exist, they don't ache.

I wish I could go to TX with my DH instead of staying here alone.

of_two_minds
03-29-13, 10:12 PM
I wish I could go to TX with my DH instead of staying here alone.

You go with DH, but in a bizarre accident involving superglue, you're literally stuck together 24/7.

I wish the woman I spend most of the workday with were less attractive.

TygerSan
03-30-13, 12:10 AM
Granted. . . although she may be physically attractive, she is the unfortunate sufferer of a rare metabolic disorder which means she forever smells like rotting cheese. . .and you're stuck working next to her in an unventilated cubicle.

I wish I could easily find my box of RPG books and dice among the 50 or so boxes stacked in the spare room.

dvdnvwls
03-30-13, 12:56 AM
Granted. You find them all within 5 minutes, perfectly intact & ready to go. You play non-stop for six weeks, your wife leaves you, and you get fired from your job.

I wish my wife and I could go back in time and re-start our marriage, with the only change being that we know I have ADHD.

Drewbacca
03-30-13, 04:33 AM
Granted. But, you don't get married because she can't handle the burden of ADHD... which, really is the burden of being human; we all have our flaws and a successful relationship requires a willingness to work with them. Whether you call it ADHD, or just dvd's personal quirks doesn't matter. The genie can give you anything, but he can't force another to accept you 100% for who you are... only she can give you that. Are you sure that she won't? Perhaps she can accept 99% if you find a way to downplay that 1% that isn't on the table?

I wish I could invent a device that would allow two people to understand one another, completely, if for only a minute.

of_two_minds
03-30-13, 10:02 AM
I wish I could invent a device that would allow two people to understand one another, completely, if for only a minute.

Granted. But the divorce rates and murder rates skyrocket because people completely understand each other.

I wish I could finally take people's advice and become a writer.

dvdnvwls
03-30-13, 12:28 PM
Granted. You are a great writer with huge ideas and huge sales. Your second book is highly controversial, and you are assassinated in Peoria during the book-signing tour.

I wish nobody cared what kind of clothes other people wear.

midnightstar
03-30-13, 01:12 PM
Granted. But everyone starts walking around wearing their birthday suit

I wish dinner would hurry up and cook

TygerSan
04-01-13, 09:16 PM
Granted. Due to a horrific nuclear accident, your dinner cooks in a fraction of a second. Unfortunately, so does the rest of humanity, including you.

I wish this bed were more comfortable.

midnightstar
04-02-13, 12:01 PM
Granted. It's so comfortable you fall asleep and miss an important meeting

I wish I didn't exist

Ninjas
04-12-13, 06:16 AM
Your wish is granted.

You didn't exist before, but you exist now >:3

I wish I can read minds at will.

Asylum
05-08-13, 02:08 AM
Granted.
Need I really add how this is ruined?? You find out that the majority of minds are not unlike television commercials; junk food, shiny things, and the possibility of more sex if you possess certain material objects. A large percentage of people's minds are taken up by mundane tasks such as clipping nostril hair and waxing erogenous zones. You learn that most politicians have the internal dialogue of five years olds. You discover that roughly 20% of 'people' are actually aliens in disguise - an ancient reptilian race to be exact (that crazy youtube guy was right!) and are very close to bringing down the apocalypse.
You tell everyone, but no-one believes you.
You spend the next few months locked up in a psychiatric ward reading out of date magazines, until the alien bombs begin to fall.

I wish a hairdresser would knock on my door and offer a free colouring. And she brings biscuits.

dvdnvwls
05-08-13, 03:09 AM
Granted. The free colouring is not quite worth the cost, and the biscuits are three days old. :(

I wish beer and junk food didn't make me gain weight quite THIS fast.

TygerSan
05-08-13, 09:18 AM
Granted; you are now allergic to wheat and MSG, so junk food and beer . . .well, they now make you *lose* weight at a remarkable rate.

I wish for a satisfying new job.