View Full Version : depression, bipolar or bpd


EnergizerJen
11-20-12, 05:14 PM
I'm on Effexor adderall xanax and trazodone

But i'm not sure its not something else

I do have depressing circumstances going on, but

with a high dose of effexor and xanax shouldn't that combat some of it?

I'm wondering if its not bi-polar or bpd

I go into spurts where I'm doing good.. happy..

Then I snap like a twig and go off the sphere with depression, anxiety, and not normal reactions to things..

I can't even gage the highs and lows, as I don't really see much past my current state of mind...

This depressive state has been two weeks and getting worse...

My boyfriend and sole supporter is ready to make me go to a shelter
he's at wits end

Not too mention his 'passive aggressive' attempts at getting back at me are just eating me alive...

any thoughts?

Fuzzy12
11-20-12, 07:33 PM
do you have manic or hypomanic episodes? You need to have had at least one of then once to warrANT a diagnosis for bipolar disorder. I I used to take effexor. It didn't help much with depression but the mood swings were bad. I used to get such bad crashes during which i almost got suicidal.

EnergizerJen
11-20-12, 08:56 PM
Yea, I don't know how to classify it, but

Previously (farther than the last two weeks) I was manic or hypomanic.. I don't know how to tell, but I was that way for 2-3 weeks. Nothing bothered me, I was overly happy and so pleasant,
my family thought my anti-depressant had kicked in, the last two weeks I've been horribly depressive, almost suicidal.. homicidal..

I'm in a horrible state of depression now, but the tiniest things can send me into a inconsolable rage/upset.
My boyfriends kids walking in the room
an off the wall comment by my sister..

I just don't know.

My manic phases are far far less than my depressive, but
I don't know.

I just don't know.

The anti-depressants seem to be ineffective, if not contribute more to the problem

It's so outlandish that I don't even remember most of it.
I don't recall doing/saying/acting the way people say that I do

I can't seem to get a grip.

keliza
11-21-12, 01:42 AM
In many people with bipolar disorder, stimulants like Adderall increase the risk for full-blown manic episodes. Antidepressants like Effexor also increase the risk for mania; in 50% of bipolar patients, antidepressants actually cause their mood to flip, triggering a manic episode. The fact that you're on both drugs and still haven't had a full-blown mania makes me doubt that it's bipolar disorder, just from that standpoint. One of those two drugs (and both together) would have likely turned you manic, and you would know if you were manic.

I'm going to copy/paste this from another thread, since I don't want to type it all out again:

"Bipolar disorder (all types) is a mood disorder characterized by episodes of mania, hypomania, dysthymia, or major depression, depending on the type of bipolar disorder. The mood episodes typically have to last for a minimum of 5-7 days to be considered a true mood episode. (With the exception of major depression, which has to last at least 2 weeks to be diagnosed, as per DSM-IV-TR.) Just feeling moody throughout the day doesn't constitute bipolar disorder. Some people have severe rapid-cycling bipolar disorder, where they can cycle between mania and depression within one week, even within a day, but that is extremely uncommon.

Mania is a mood episode characterized by highly euphoric OR irritable mood, and at least 4 of the following: high energy, decreased need for sleep (not feeling tired even after only 2-3 hours of sleep, for example), racing thoughts, rapid, pressed speech, impulsivity (often in dangerous ways like indiscriminate sex, massive spending, and drug use), quick temper, poor judgment, reckless behavior, etc. A manic person may also have grandiose feelings about themselves (like thinking they are invincible, unstoppable, that they are special or blessed, that they have special knowledge about the universe, etc.), and could have psychosis and delusions of either grandeur or paranoia (delusion of grandeuer: "I am supernatural" delusion of paranoia: "the CIA has me wire tapped, they're coming after me.")

Most people know what depression is, so I won't detail it. Hypomania is like mania but to a lesser degree. To many people, hypomania might just look like a week or two of really good mood - someone who has more energy, is bubblier than usual, bursts of creativity, undertaking lots of projects, etc. Hypomanic episodes do not involve psychosis. Dysthymia is a milder form of depression that isn't as profound in its impact on the person's life. Think of someone who is chronically Eeyore-like in disposition. There are also mixed episodes, which means a person experiences both symptoms of mania and depression at the same time. I can tell you from experience that it is one of the worst feelings I have ever experienced in my life. It feels like your brain wants to rip itself in half and implode simultaneously."

What you've described with your "up" moods doesn't sound like mania to me. Maybe hypomania, but even then, you didn't mention much in the way of racing thoughts, pressed speech, taking on lots of activities, huge creative or productivity bursts, etc. You just said you felt good, really good, like you were feeling normal again. It's possible that what you experienced could be hypomania, but it doesn't sound quite there, at least not from the description.

Also, what you described here: "Then I snap like a twig and go off the sphere with depression, anxiety, and not normal reactions to things.. I can't even gage the highs and lows, as I don't really see much past my current state of mind..." sounds more like borderline personality disorder, to me, than bipolar disorder.

This: "I'm in a horrible state of depression now, but the tiniest things can send me into a inconsolable rage/upset." and this: "It's so outlandish that I don't even remember most of it. I don't recall doing/saying/acting the way people say that I do / I can't seem to get a grip." also sound a lot more like standard borderline personality disorder than bipolar disorder. But I'm not a mental health professional, just someone who has lived with bipolar disorder for the past 10 years.

I think whatever is going on, it's really important for you to get seen by a mental health professional and have a proper evaluation and diagnosis made. Once you know what exactly you're dealing with, you can move forward in proper treatment so that you can get the symptoms under control and live a happier, healthier life. You deserve that, to be happy and healthy.

If you feel like you are going to hurt yourself or end your life, please call 911 or drive yourself to the ER. Even if you don't have insurance, it doesn't matter, they have to take care of you in a life-threatening situation. Suicidal intent is life-threatening.

crystal8080
11-21-12, 02:46 AM
Hard to find the right thing to say. I know how it feels to move so fast you can't catch your breath. Up and down and up and down and up and down....its scary. And then not remembering what the **** people are talking about. I started to think my husband was trying to convince me I was crazy.

Electra2
11-21-12, 04:29 AM
Energizer Jen.
If i understood it right,
you had your kid taken away from you-that could drive anybody crazy.
:grouphug:
I dont know what you have or dont have.
I know from personal experience that hormones and lack of sleep
also can do a lot to cause moodswings,and waiting for something
that is so important for you and there is nothing you can do about it.
But maybe your are manipulated to think that you are this or that
from your x,
is he twisting the the truth,exagerating your faults or devaluing you,
and telling you things that arent true?
I dont know,but I know that if that is the case,then he might be the cause
you feel this way.

ana futura
11-21-12, 03:05 PM
Also, what you described here: "Then I snap like a twig and go off the sphere with depression, anxiety, and not normal reactions to things.. I can't even gage the highs and lows, as I don't really see much past my current state of mind..." sounds more like borderline personality disorder, to me, than bipolar disorder...

I think whatever is going on, it's really important for you to get seen by a mental health professional and have a proper evaluation and diagnosis made. Once you know what exactly you're dealing with, you can move forward in proper treatment so that you can get the symptoms under control and live a happier, healthier life. You deserve that, to be happy and healthy.


That's a good point about the difference between Borderline and BP.

I think it's really important to remember that borderline does not really respond to medication- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is the number one treatment option for Borderline.

If you suspect BPD, I would contact a DBT therapist. They may see things a psychiatrist would miss.

This is worth reading- http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/dialectical-behavior-therapy-in-the-treatment-of-borderline-personality-disorder/all/1/

ana futura
11-21-12, 03:51 PM
I just posted this in another thread, but I meant to post it here-


According to Dr. Friedel, director of the BPD program at Virginia Commonwealth University, there are two main differences between BPD and bipolar disorder:
1. People with BPD cycle much more quickly, often several times a day.

2. The moods in people with BPD are more dependent, either positively or negatively, on what's going on in their life at the moment. Anything that might smack of abandonment (however far fetched) is a major trigger.

3. In people with BPD, the mood swings are more distinct. Marsha M. Linehan, professor of psychology at the University of Washington, says that while people with bipolar disorder swing between all-Čencompassing periods of mania and major depression, the mood swings typical in BPD are more specific. She says, "You have fear going up and down, sadness going up and down, anger up and down, disgust up and down, and love up and down."

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells/201003/three-easy-ways-differentiate-bipolar-and-borderline-disorders

EnergizerJen
11-23-12, 11:53 AM
Thanks for explaining it to me! I know these things touch on controversial nerves, but I am just trying to nail some understanding down of myself.

So- I am 28 and in my 'prime' if you will- Hormones Raging-Emotional-Acne (awful)

But-I see the cyclonic tendencies to maintain a time duration longer than BPD

NOW-although I am emotional (especially the week before my pg)

The lows are low and while in the 'low' the degree to which it goes varies through-out the cycle
(I am purely asking opinion and not assuming everything, just considering all the options)
In the last two weeks of what I could pinpoint as a 'low' some days are worse than others. But they all participate in what could be seen as 'depressive low'

The other side-the highs-all are off the chart 'highs' but vary in some degree by factors that I am subjected too through-out the day.
IE: 3 1/2 weeks ago I was in a possible "high" cycle and I spent 2 or 3 days at basketball games for my daughter and I was so elated that I HUGGED MY DAUGHTERS FATHER ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS-feeling it as the right thing to do and that it was acceptable.

He just spent 30k in court and we do not speak-ever.
Nor were we on any kind of speaking terms when I hugged him-
AND MY DAUGHTERS BASKETBALL TEAM WAS NOT WINNING EITHER.
Nor had they won any of the 4 games that they had played.

It's that kind of stuff that I am considering as a contributing factor to possible Bipolar.


But there's also POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER and although I know it's common among military and other service related individuals

Is it possible that too much trauma from a long line of traumatic events has finally snapped and caused some kind of... backlash?

So confusing-
but I don't have 3 hours in with the psych this week (if I get to go at all) so I really appreciate you guys helping me sort out what goes with what and giving me a good starting point with my doc!

I appreciate you taking your personal time to explain it to me and sort out what goes in to what category.

Very much :)
Jen

Joker_Girl
11-23-12, 12:32 PM
This is good to know.

I have always gotten bipolar and BPD confused, as soon as i heard about BPD. I assume because they both start with B. Although any clinician i have seen has indicated i am not bipolar, and i am DEFINITELY not BPD, because i dont have a tendency to form intense close bonds or feel abandoned all the time. I do have crazy mood swings, and this is what i presented with the first time, and having tried every antidepressant on earth, i expected to be given meds for bipolar depression.

I still hope they will try me on some. Because the SSRIs dont seem to work for very long. I have taken oh my, what all....Paxil, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Celexa, Cymbalta, Effexor, Zoloft, Lexapro....the only one ive not been on is Remeron, i believe....and im not sure i havent tried it, a long time ago.

The first (prescription) drug that gave me ANY relief was Ritalin. Usually the SSRI drugs help a while but eventually, they have to increase them several times, and then they become ineffective. I would very much like to try a mood stabilizer along with my Celexa.

If i was told i had to either give up my ADHD med or my antidepressant, it would be an incredibly difficult choice. When i take NEITHER, as i have tried a few times, i am in an absolute suicidal pit of despair within weeks. I may not feel they help that much, but when i go off them, i know i am HORRIBLE. When i go off just one, it is pretty bad, but both, oh my GOD.

I thought my mood swings meant i was bipolar, apparently they are just a part of ADHD. But i want to try another med, maybe Lamictal, or Tegretal, something...just to see if it will be more effective. Because i have already had to increase the Celexa once.

I think part of it is all the stuff happening in your life right now, your response to it is not mental illness, it is a normal response to this.

I have wondered that before myself, maybe i am not depressed, maybe i just realize how bad everything sucks, and this is normal to feel this way.

Regardless, i dont like feeling this way. And if meds will not help, i will ALWAYS find other ways to not feel this way. Usually it involves drugs or some other self destructive behavior. Actually, for me, this is ALWAYS drug abuse.

I did not confess my drug abuse to my Dr, because i did not want it in my chart and to face any possible repercussions due to my occupation. Now i will NEVER confess it, because they will take everything away, and even if it doesnt make everything good, it makes it a hell of a lot better. Also, when i am medicated, as long as nothing HORRIBLE happens (like my dad dying), i wont try to get high.

I have never wanted to abuse drugs because it was fun. It has ALWAYS been because i wanted the miserable and the crazy to go away for a while. I didnt care the consequences, well, i did, but not enough, i could sit and cut lines while someone told me, you know, that sh*t is putting holes in your brain. "Really? I'll be darned!" *snort* "Thats too bad." *snort* "I guess ill worry about that some other time. Hopefully i will just die first." *snort* "Do you have any foil?" LOL. pathetic and sad, scary even. I just dont give a f when i am in that mode.

One of my friends who is bipolar and addicted off and on to meth was having a manic episode one time, and i asked her how it felt. She said, it feels like you are high on meth, you are all powerful, brilliant, happy, and you just want to dance. And i thought, "lucky."

LOL