My special husband has all this on his plate. I'm wondering if there are any resources 'out there' to help us as a family. He really doesn't have one disability but when you put all this together, I'd consider this a big disability. I'm kinda lost and overwhelmed. Any thoughts?

hi craigswife, gosh you and your husband both have a lot on your plate. have you checked with the community services board in your area? my college degree is in human services, and i spent a part of a practicum at the one here as a counselor working with folks who couldn't afford the expense of going to a private doc. they have group and individual therapy, generally, and can refer you to other resources in your area.

also, don't forget the well known AA and other support groups that are generally advertised in the paper. also, there are lots of forums here with folks who genuinely want to help and have, in many case, been where you are. best of luck to you!

ADD/Ex-Offender/Recovering Alcoholic/Low Selfesteme

I'm all that, and then some too.

Yes, there is help out there; it starts with his willingness to do whatever he has to, and if he's down on himself because of his mistakes, it is hard to have enough self-confidince or enough of a sense of self-worth to see any point in trying to make things better.
I think self-help groups such as AA are excellent, and many areas of the country have ADD-related groups, too.

A popular spin on this is to let go of "his" business and begin to focus on yours.

We can't change anyone but ourselves. In doing so we may lead the way for others to learn the essentials of life, namely, humility, compassion, empathy, patience and acceptance of ourselves and others by example not promotion.

It's often the case that the focus is so much on the guy with the problem. It certainly was for me. And let there be no mistake about it, I was a problem.

My wife finally sought help going to Alanon meetings and learnt to get herself happy and healthy again. It took two years but she eventually got free to explore the things that made her happy and seeing this I wanted some of those things too and began in earnest to seek out the help I needed.

In my less than humble opinion there is nothing you can do for him that will be better than helping yourself learn to be healthier and happier. Detached with love.
Cheers! Ian.

Thank you for all of your feedback. Yes, I get so caught up in trying to find resources for him, that I forget about myself. He has come a long way, he's currently on a generic adderall (and it seems to be better than strattera) and he's at 7 months of sobriety! I wish he would reach out to this forum and realize that he and we, as a family, are not the only ones dealing with obstacles, plus you all generally give another veiwpoint. I think the add as a youth lead to his getting into trouble with the law which will be with him forever, I think the add lead to his self-medicating with alcohol (along with his alcoholic mom & dad). I don't know...............but I do know that you're right, Ian...that I've got to deal with this too, it's not just him. And you know, I'm going to check out the social services in our very rural area. Thank you all for your time! Jess

Don't forget that if you have trouble finding resources locally that we here, are a "support" forum. Through your progress you'll help others to find a way to live a better life.
Cheers! Ian

:) oh yes, in my post maybe i didn't make it clear but you are SURELY suffering as much as he is, and while he is fortunate to have you, you need to take care of yourself!! when i mentioned community services boards and the like, i should have been more specific in terms of mentioning that they have programs that will not only be relevant to your husband, but just as importantly to YOU!! it is far too easy to lose yourself in a situation like this. do what you have to do to stay healthy, and keep us posted, we are here for you!:p

Alanon and AA are great programs. Alanon has helped me deal with the struggle of living with someone with ADD.