View Full Version : Non-supportive -- ill-informed teachers and school


gemini-dreamer
12-11-12, 12:14 AM
I don't have the energy to explain everything that happened today with the VP of my daughter's school, but she has been extremely unsupportive since I told her about Cassidee's (as yet undiagnosed -- waiting on the pediatrician) ADHD.

Today was by far the worst I have been treated by the school with comments like "We don;t feel like you are supporting us here." and "Well it certainly feels like you are using that as an excuse fer her bad behaviour." in response to me printing off some ADHD info that pertains to my daughter and dropping it off at the school. To her telling Cass "none of the other kids have that problem" or "Alll the other students can do that just fine." Or even an attempt to get her NOT to bring a doctor's note by saying "You wanna be like ALL the OTHER kids, don't you?"


There is a lot more I would like to say on this, but I am finding myself emotionally exhausted after two meetings with a very unsympathetic school system in less than a week.

Luckily the Special Ed teacher is aware, informed and compassionate, I was able to speak to her briefly today and she told me that many teachers do blame the parents for poor behaviour of AD/HD kids.

I'm really surprised and disappointed by this response and treatment. I had thought that AD/HD was a well known disorder (its 2012!) and that schools were better informed on the symptoms, behavioural manifestations and co-existing conditions that accompany AD/HD in kids.

Have any of you run into something similar?

ginniebean
12-11-12, 12:24 AM
I don't have the energy to explain everything that happened today with the VP of my daughter's school, but she has been extremely unsupportive since I told her about Cassidee's (as yet undiagnosed -- waiting on the pediatrician) ADHD.

Today was by far the worst I have been treated by the school with comments like "We don;t feel like you are supporting us here." and "Well it certainly feels like you are using that as an excuse fer her bad behaviour." in response to me printing off some ADHD info that pertains to my daughter and dropping it off at the school. To her telling Cass "none of the other kids have that problem" or "Alll the other students can do that just fine." Or even an attempt to get her NOT to bring a doctor's note by saying "You wanna be like ALL the OTHER kids, don't you?"


There is a lot more I would like to say on this, but I am finding myself emotionally exhausted after two meetings with a very unsympathetic school system in less than a week.

Luckily the Special Ed teacher is aware, informed and compassionate, I was able to speak to her briefly today and she told me that many teachers do blame the parents for poor behaviour of AD/HD kids.

I'm really surprised and disappointed by this response and treatment. I had thought that AD/HD was a well known disorder (its 2012!) and that schools were better informed on the symptoms, behavioural manifestations and co-existing conditions that accompany AD/HD in kids.

Have any of you run into something similar?

Document EVERYTHING.


When the teacher talks to your child like that, write her an e-mail saying you'd like to discuss her telling your daughter "__________" and "_______" That you feel it's unprofessional and inappropriate etc.. She will most likely not write you back but it is documented. They KNOW the law, and if you give them rope looks like they're willing to try and hang you with it. Even tho you may not get a written reply, and she insists upon speaking with you in person, it's good to write a follow up note saying something like "I just want to be clear "when we spoke of ______ and you said ________ did you mean _____ or will you be implementing ____


You can write the VP as well, documenting her conversationwith you. You could ask for clarification on things she said. Etc... and each time an in person conversation takes place write a clarification email.

Teachers have in school e-mail so you can write these little follow ups documenting in person chats as well.

Getting documentation like this, even if they do not respond is still good documentation. You will be putting this teacher on notice that you are documenting her behaviour and attitude.

Always be polite, do not lose your cool. Insist on her being treated well.

Unfortunately schools still, not all but enough, fight your daughters civil rights and deny that adhd is a disability and not just bad behaviour.

gemini-dreamer
12-11-12, 12:37 AM
Thank you Ginnie, I'll write some emails tomorrow after work. (making a note to do so now)

Fortune
12-11-12, 12:42 AM
I hope you can make some headway. Teachers like that are extremely frustrating.

gemini-dreamer
12-11-12, 12:46 AM
I hope you can make some headway. Teachers like that are extremely frustrating.


Thanks. I am feeling extremely frustrated. Since Cass started grade 8 (highschool) things have been a real struggle in my home. It's taking us about 3 hours to get her ready to go to school in the morning and to be honest there are some days that she just won't go (various reasons). I'm happy right now just to get her to the school, focus on being there and trying to get the work done. And the teachers are then sending her home for being defiant or restless and wanting a hall pass. Like, I finally get her there, which I feel is a mjor accomplishment for both of us and they send her home.

I just feel like they are working against me.

clancyfish
03-06-13, 07:45 PM
I know what you mean. Teachers are ill-informed because they have so many other issues to deal with and they don't have the time to gain a good understanding of ADHD. This doesn't help us as parents though! We are called in every report card time to be told our son is a bit disruptive, always distracted, doesn't concentrate and I feel like saying 'Hey, guess what, those are the symptoms of ADHD!'. I said to one teacher after they told me that his only problem was he was too lazy to concentrate and sit still. He said the other kids can do it, why not him. I asked him if he had a child with an obvious physical disability in his class would he expect that child to be able to do everything like the other kids?