View Full Version : Not motivated at all.

12-12-12, 01:49 AM
I have a daughter and a beautiful wife. I have a steady job, but I'm not motivated to advance in my career. I want to be a better father, it's what I strive for every day. I'm not a bad father. I'm actually a very good one, but I have this feeling that not trying at work is selfish and a huge detriment to being a better father.

It seems like it'd be easy to just say, "hey let's work harder and provide more income for my family" but it's not that easy. I don't care, and I really don't even want to be around my co-workers. I fake it every day, and I fake it with my customers too. I try so hard to mask the fact that I care so little and it makes me seem too nice and weak. The mood swings affect me. I quit my medicine for three days because I fooled myself in to thinking that I didn't need them. During those three days, I got very down at work and told people I didn't care..even management. We missed a $800 Christmas bonus by 3/10th of a percentage point, and I got ****** at the world.

My head feels like it has a cloud in it at all times. I don't even know where to go in my life. I have no direction or really any interest in bettering myself. If my managers find out how much I really care then I'm done for. Surely, I can't fake this forever. What am I supposed to do? How do you guys cope with it? I'm so negative about everything.

ana futura
12-12-12, 02:38 AM
What makes you happy?

12-12-12, 02:44 AM
Being with my wife and daughter and a couple of friends.

12-12-12, 02:51 AM
I know the feeling man,I own my own business and I don't make much and have no motivation to get more work although I have employees. Theirs days were I just want to jump of a bridge just to feel the acceleration and go kaput.

ana futura
12-12-12, 03:16 AM
Being with my wife and daughter and a couple of friends.

I would say just focus on them, work is something you have to get through to spend time with them.

Do your wife and daughter expect more from you, or is this only an expectation you have for yourself? If they're happy with how their lives are, you can be happy too. Don't be so hard on yourself.

The time you spend with them is more valuable than anything.

Is there another job that wouldn't pay as well but might make you happier?

12-12-12, 05:47 AM
Bipolar has been one of the hardest things I've had to deal with.

Phoenix Ash
12-12-12, 09:09 AM
Apathy and negativity have been lifelong companions of mine. I've had some success combating them with medication, but as soon as I went off the meds (for other reasons; long story) the darkness came back with a vengeance. I'm still trying to claw my way out of the Pit of Despair, but I know it's a losing battle until I'm able to go back on some kind of anti-depressant.

Screwed up brain chemicals suck. I feel for you. :grouphug:

12-12-12, 10:48 AM
on top of that, I can't quit looking up youtube videos about people calling mental illnesses fake. They claim that they can be cured without the use of medicine. I want to strangle these people and view a list of their credentials at the same time. I know that psychiatrists are out to get our money but they are our method of getting meds.

Off topic...I know, but I didn't feel like starting a thread. lol.