Does anyone else feel invisible to everyone else? Is this an ADD thing? I find that I become "rambunctious" to be seen or heard otherwise I just go unnoticed by others. It is not that I crave attention I just want acknowledgement. Then on the other hand when I get to "over the top" I wish I could hide or snatch back the provocative words I blurted out. At this point I don't know what is me or what is my disorder :(

The funny thing about it is, when nobody knows you're there, you want someone to acknowledge you...but when everybody acknowledges you, you wish you could just disappear. It's not an ADHD thing...more just a social tone.

I wish less people would notice my existance. I have friends a ton of em but only when they need me to drop what I'm doing to help them. Sometimes I think people keep me around for comic relief when there's nothing else to laugh at we can alway's laugh at Cherity and she'll take it cause she's so stupid. You are more then welcome to the people in my life.

Cherity~
I keep ya around, cuz I luv ya babes!!


I always wondered why I had this "need" for attention & for people to acknowledge what I was doing....................but then when I did get the attention, I did not like it

yes, but as human beings, it is that very attention which keeps us alive; which allows us to fully flourish. we need that mirror to remind us that we are good and valuable. the nurture and love and validation is a key ingredient for our "survival".

is anyone familiar with the studies regarding early maternal loss and infants. infants can infact die from the lack of human contact and love. i will go out on a limb---Renee Spitz...studied orphans left during world one or two.. classic studies.

yet even though we are adults, we/I can still feel the devastation of this abandonment. and this does not make us crazy it makes us deeply feeling people.

and to be quite honest, i feel such a loss from human contact...yet i build up the very walls and actually predict and create this condition; this soul grief and loss.

Hi, I feel invisable too at times and too visual at others.
I feel invisable online and with my gaming friends.
I feel too visual at my family get togethers ;)

Oh gosh don't get me started on them :rolleyes: We are always the one that is blamed for everything! And no matter what we do to change we are still judged by how we were. I finally gave up on that!! So when they give me the big guilt trip about how I am always late and hold up all the get togethers I now say..

Don't invite me and I won't be able to disappointment you!! and then they try the "Well-that-is-selfish-of-you-and-you-would-do-that-to-your-kids?" card

I just gently remind them that I have my own family and they (my family of origin) are now my extended family.

Time is of no essance to me and I refuse to let my life be directed by something as simple as a clock. If I run into an old friend, I'm going to be late; if my kids won't get ready, then I'm going to be late but I'll be darned if I'm going to give myself a headache fighting and screaming at them cause I'm the only one who suffers in the end. My family knows this and it's a joke between us all...I was two days late being born, an hour late for my own wedding, all of my surviving children were born late so it only seems natural that I'll be late to my own funeral and to be honest after a breast cancer scare my husband and I bought our caskets and plots and set up the arrangements so that family doesn't have to and yes I was to be delivered 20 minutes late. :p My family knows I'm going to be late so if the party is at noon they tell me 11 so I'm on time and there are no hurt feelings.

My husband takes the blame for me with his family because they are very inconsiderate. It seems every gathering is at 11 on a day that I have worked the night before. Which means getting home at 9 bathing, bathing and dressing the 3 kids, packing diaper bags, etc. He usually just says "Did we ruin your day? we could just go home if you want, will that make you feel better? generally they stop complaining right then and there.

I'm never late to work but then they pay me to be on time. lol
I've been late twice for doc appts but the roads were icy and I didn't allow enough travel time.
My friends are always late so it doesn't matter someone is always waiting for someone but then we all have kids, jobs, husbands, pets, etc.

You can all have my friends. Seriously! I collect people who all seem to have problems that require a psychologist:eek: ....Go figure!

I wish I was invisible, but being an introvert sort of helps like that. I don't want attention; I don't want to be noticed.:confused: Very strange :D

Hi there, the answer to your question is a big "yes." I have always felt that way even as a child. I am now a 46 yr old woman and don't feel that way as much,( and here come the but) but I do feel that way around my family more so than I do others. I seem to have developed a habit for talk a little loud ; I believe that happened as a result of feeling like I was not being heard or feeling of being invisble. I know I am not invisible in real life it is just a " feeling " yet at the time they are very real feelings. :rolleyes: auntchris

The more i read about ADD and the more i think ADD main problem is about spatial and time coordination :

Many people express their uneasy way around social situation, their feeling of always being out of touch when they have to interact with many other people.

When i read about Asperger syndrom, as a ADDer i can't miss the similarities with our state of mind ( social impairement, great intelligence, great verbal skills ... )

Both facts look like there is a "bug" in the motor control of the muscular facial system which impair these delicate non verbal signals

When i read in this forum the sensitivity of ADDers with sounds, smokes, eating, etc it's seems to me like the missing of a control system in the body, something missing between sensory input and brain integration.

When i read the story of many very intelligent children, it seems that there is a unbalance state of developement between the rigth and the left side of the brain in favor of the logical/analitical side.

And last, but not least there is this post by BIG about ' Traumatic Brain Injury: The invisible wound " in the ADD news part of this forum

All these facts look like their is a bad coordination in the way our ADD brain process time and space.
May be someone with medical knowledge can tell if the link between the left and the right sides of the brain is relate with spatial and time processing ?

Hi there, the answer to your question is a big "yes." I have always felt that way even as a child. I am now a 46 yr old woman and don't feel that way as much,( and here come the but) but I do feel that way around my family more so than I do others. I seem to have developed a habit for talk a little loud ; I believe that happened as a result of feeling like I was not being heard or feeling of being invisble. I know I am not invisible in real life it is just a " feeling " yet at the time they are very real feelings. :rolleyes: auntchris


It's so funny you talk about being loud. My entire family is very loud including our children and spouse's. I've learned that when I have a point to make or something important to say to speak barely above a whisper...lol you should hear the hush fall over us as they all lean in to hear me better. My mother calls me the "shy one" lmbo if she only knew.

Hay man.

i know exactly how you feel and it is not you. the other night i went to a party with some friends and while they were talking it was like i totaly was'nt there. this has been happening all of my life and used to think that maybe it was just me, but now i see that it is'nt.

I had that problem doing theater. I love every aspect, on or off stage, and frequently had teriffic roles. Go figure, I was worse during the performances because I didn't like the attention. Can you believe that?! No wonder I'm not a professional. No stage fright, just mild nerves that goes with the territory, but I didn't know what to do with all that attention. I like being a wallflower (can't really do that if you've got the lead :rolleyes: ). One moment I longed for validation, that I did a good job, that I have potential for more, that I truly entertained well and people left having enjoyed the experience...and on the other side of the coin I would blush and stutter when given a compliment, if no one acknowledged my work on or backstage I would feel I must have done something wrong, that I didn't do a good job, that I didn't please.

I wanted both, really. The quiet contentment of doing what I enjoyed, yet the acceptance and appreciation of my peers. Maybe if I was a more confident, secure person I could take both in stride and realize that this is fairly normal.

My Dad complimented very little, if at all. I only remember complaints really. There was this one time he gave me a direct compliment (can't remember what it was, I think something to do with my looks which he usually said nothing or putdown one way or the other), anyways, I was completely embarrassed. I wanted the compliment but then again felt more comfortable without.

Do you think it's about believing in yourself? If we truly believed in ourselves a compliment wouldn't take us off guard, and we wouldn't feel the need to grab attention either? ADD/bipolar/family conditions all contributed to my "social tone", my lack of self esteem/confidence. ADD contributed, but didn't "cause" it, if you get what I mean.

"I collect people who all seem to have problems that require a psychologist" -Blue

Oh my gosh, I get the same friends!! I'm the one who's a "great listener", and you wonder why I don't like to date my friend! (Not true, I love men who "need" me)
If a nice guy came up to me and said, "Hi want to go to a movie?" I would quickly look behind me for the women he was really talking to. Sigh

this post hits close to home. i can relate to many of these stories and could add my own but I think that the other posts say everthing

"I collect people who all seem to have problems that require a psychologist" -Blue

Oh my gosh, I get the same friends!! I'm the one who's a "great listener", and you wonder why I don't like to date my friend! (Not true, I love men who "need" me)
If a nice guy came up to me and said, "Hi want to go to a movie?" I would quickly look behind me for the women he was really talking to. Sigh
that is really interesting. all the friends i have are all somewhere on the odd side.

I think that getting loud happened when I was a child ...I have no real idea but that is my theory. I was abused at school by the kids, mainly the boys and I never felt as if I had any friend and didnt except in my neighborhood .

I have always talked loud and I am not sure.I know now when we have family get togethers I get interrupted all the time. Then the person will say go on Chris, and I will say no never mind, my feelings are hurt and I give up. I am tired of feeling like this.

I can remember once when my nephew was six, we all were at the table for Thanksgiving dinner and I was talking and my sister interupted me as she always does, my nephew nudged his mom in the side with his elbow and said, "Mom, Aunt Chris was talking. " Oh Dustin I love ya. I try to stand up with my family when they do thing like that but it with them it is the hardest thing....I just get the eagle eye from someone. auntchris:rolleyes: