Is there anything to help an ADHD child with not being so easily frustrated? If my youngest- Darrian walks into the room and so much as hums a tune- Ashleigh my ADHD child totally freaks out! Yelling at her & the likes. How can I approach Ashleigh with tact so that she doesn't feel that I'm always taking Darrian's side and that I'm not playing "favorites"?

Thanks!

:confused:

I hope I can help a bit here. I have a 6 year old who has ADHD symptoms (although her diagnosis is attachment disorder, lots of the stuff is the same) and she reacts hugely to her 2 year old sister. Can you tell me the ages here, and what you normally do to intervene?

Jane

Jane, actually my daughter was originally diagnosed with Attachment disorder when she was 3 1/2.. that was a struggle in a half- I can tell you that. Firstly I would recommend some type of counseling- for yourself & your family. Last I knew, medication was not an option- it was pretty much just go it your own. Now on my experience with my daughter, there were a few things that we did. Because standing her in the corner didn't work- she would physically hurt me- I would hold her down... here's the way I did it. (It doesn't seem so inhumane when you are going through the motions. And remember, what works for one, does not necessarily work for all!) I would sit on the floor- legs spread so she could sit between my legs. Keep all sounds off- tv, radio.. anything. Keep distractions away! Also... put your leg over her legs, 1 arm over her arms & 1 arm on the forehead to restrict from motion. Ashleigh would kick me & slam her head into my chest when I would stand behind her in the corner. (I did that because she would not stay there.. I needed to make sure punishment was enforced) I really had no other options- The arm on the forehead, I incorporated because she would still slam her head into my chest & that hurts! Sit there for a couple minutes- do not talk, just sit through it.

Remember, consistency is everything- that child is looking for you to make sure that everything is okay. I don't know if yours was an adoption issue or if the child underwent some type of trauma that caused the attachment disorder, but if it was a trauma- I would definetly not recommend spanking at all *although I do not believe in spankings for my kids* My outlook has not made sense to some, but this is how I feel. If a child has been through trauma- to a kid they see hitting, or hurting.. what's the difference to that child between being hit or being spanked? So I would seriously not recommend that.

Get as much family support & friends to support you. That way you can keep your sanity & remember- things will get better as long as you approach it steadfast.

I remember sitting in the bathroom praying so many nights because Ashleigh would do such horrendous things to her sister that I just couldn't handle it. It was absolutely dreadful.

With attachment disorder, kids get angry.. resentful- but they are hurting inside. Keep trying to reach out to that child. Remind them time & time again that you love them- don't give up. It took a while for me to be able to hug & kiss Ashleigh- but she eventually turned to accept my affection & now thrives on it as a 7 year old.

I think really what the key is- patience, support, remembering that child needs you & will get to a point where you will see a happy kid again, be consistent- stand firm, counseling, & lots & lots of love. Otherwise, as far as siblings are concerned- you are going to have to monitor them together. We had to monitor Ashleigh w/Darrian quite a bit- almost like she was under survelance... it's not easy- but you almost have to.

I don't know if this is going to prove helpful to you... as I said ,what works for some, doesn't work for all.
Otherwise, look for websites relating to Attachment disorder. There are quite a few out there.

The battle is not over until you let it. The overall result with patience & love will be wonderful! Give yourself a pat on the back. I've been there, done that.. still having a hard time with the girls. Take one day at a time though...
email me if you would like
hesperias_light@hotmail.com

Janet

oh, and an afterthought.. that was what I did until after the attachment disorder seemed to dull away- with time she got to be pretty good as far as her not abusing us physically & she was able to respect attention- now that she's older- well, that's another story altogether. So as far as your attachment disorder thing- there ya go. Darrian is now 4 years old. Both girls. Good luck to you