i'm... rather quite perturbed by my state of mind. i think i have add, and yet i dont. and i cant figure it out for myself. i do well in school. im salutatorian of my class, above average sats, well respected, but at the same time.. i am incredibly.. totally inept. all my life everyone blames me for never paying attention, when i was young i had terrible grades, and i was always marked as disruptive, unable to control myself, and downright hyperactive. i still am just i somehow manage to bottle it up. it seems every second of my life my leg is figiting. i can't sit down and read a page if it meant my life. i find myself never able to concentrate on music. i am a very short patience, when playing games i always complain when things become stagnated. when people talk to me or giev me directions i rarely listen, well im there listening but noone of it ever seems to process for me, and whne im done and told to do what im suppose to do, i feel lost, and downright nervous. my handwriting is completely terrible, i have terrible organization and lose items just about every day. i rarely ever pay attention in the car and recently got into a car accident not paying attention when driving home, first year of license. whenever im talking on the phone or need to think heavily, i have to get up and walk to think about it. i cant sit still very long or else i have t]o figit my legs and even then every day in class i have an incredible urge to just jump up and run around or out of the class. when i play sports or do anything, every action i take is impulsive and without deliberation, aiming, talking etc. in fact i can barely talk coherantly at all, i often misplace words in my speech and am unable to memorize things in general, lyrics, or anything sequential really without hard work. every day for school i am ALWAYS late. or close to it. i also have an incredible urge to worry about things, over and over, and i have to be sure about it, but even then i'm never sure and am always worried about that certain thing, and whether if it went by well. i rarely ever go home and do my homework. i sit there and try for over 5 hours. in order to finish my homework i go home and work until day break. i rarely ever sleep anymore. my sleep habits are terrible, but i am also for some reason obssessed with doing well in school. im not exactly sure what this all means and realize that its all one large boring paragrpah, yet i see myself growing very worried about my current state in life. i dont want to see a doctor about this, just because i dont feel up to it. though i do want to do better. i'm trying to find an non-prescribed solution to my problems if they do in fact exist

ha, maybe i should have made my paragraph more clear

i think i have add, and yet i dont

OK,
You've described at least 39-1/2 classic symptoms of ADDH, but haven't given 1 reason why you might think you don't have it. :)

I'm not expert, but I am Add and my husband is Adhd. You sound more like you're experiencing ADHD symptoms. I'm sure you will find so me very good advice in here. There are people who have more experience with medications and natural cures. I hope you find what you need.

I agree with swamp donkey. Your oviously at a loss but your post is more like a comment of somethings you see in yourself. Without telling us the things that counter balance the thought of "maybe I'm not" we really have no clue to knowing whats going on in the other part of your thoughts. Diet and exersize are things that can help with any concerns of the functions of the human body and mind... tell us more.... :rolleyes:

maybe just the fact that add people are stereotypically unable to do their work at all. yet i have been able to do well in school? i also dont take medication. is there anyone iwth firsthand experience with something else that has achieved similar or even better effects?

i do well in school. im salutatorian of my class, above average sats, well respected, but at the same time.. i am incredibly.. totally inept. all my life everyone blames me for never paying attention, when was young I had terrible grades, You also mentioned stereotypes. Not doing well in school is one of them. I I did extremely well in school up until high school. This is also the time my biological father left the family. I used to have the fear of his wrath to keep me doing well in school. I came up with techniques to help me learn. High School came and the wrath was no longer an issue. i often misplace words in my speech I thought I was the only one who did this. I mispronounce words sometimes as well.

I have heard a lot about diet being important in helping with ADD. Talk to your family Doc. about what is going on. You don't HAVE to take medication. I shoose to. Your Doc. might be able to find referalls for you. I am thinking someone to help you deal with what you are going through. Medication alone will not cure you. Changes in life styles (habits) are important as well.

can someone tell me what it feels like to take meds?

maybe just the fact that add people are stereotypically unable to do their work at all. yet i have been able to do well in school? i also dont take medication. is there anyone iwth firsthand experience with something else that has achieved similar or even better effects?

Some years I got mostly D's and F's in school, other years I got straight A's.
Some days (or even moments) I have clear, intense concentration often called "hyperfocus", other times I can't pay attention for 5 seconds.

The medication I take does not make me "feel" different like street drugs did (and I've done 'em all). However, I'm less tired/more energetic, can concentrate better, think more clearly, have fewer and milder mood swings. In short, I function better in every aspect of my life--but I still have ADHD. It just makes it easier to cope and function.

that's actually quite interesting

I am presently on Straterra. It is funny, but I didn't think it was working. One of my friends started telling me when I did not take my meds. She has been right every time. That is when I decided something was working. The major difference in me is that I do not talk constantly and change subject matter midsentence. I also have been in better control and do not interupt when someone else is speaking.

There is no feeling of being "high".

Actually, it's not that ADHD people are unable to do their work at all, because in many areas, we can do fine. It's the inconsistency with attention that is among the problems. I for example, had a mixed bag with school. My grades were pretty much fine in elementary school, although the excessive talking was always noted on my grade report; but my performance varied from 7th grade onward. College was a mixed bag too, but in graduate school some years later, I did very well. (and this is without medication-I only just got diagnosed two months ago and am trying Strattera) But what my guess is that it zeroed in on my career interest. If it's something I'm extremely interested in, my hyperfocus mode kicks in, and I can retain information. Even so, I need to be at it day in and day out, or it goes out the door.

You seem to have an awful lot of posts about diagnosing yourself, supplements, ect.. your very anxious to get a diagnosis, but you dont feel "up to" going to the doctor? I dont understand this. This is where help is! Diagnosing yourself never works, we ADD'ers are notoriously poor self observers! You really need to see a pro.

Sushix, You practically described my life perfectly. Fair to poor student in elementary, 4.0 in two masters programs. I was hyperactive as a kid too. It was the hyperfocus thing that threw me -- like has already been said, if you're interested or motivated enough you can do it, otherwise watch out. I would suggest seeing a doctor, because what I found for myself was that when I was out of the stimulating, highly organized environment of college/university things started going down hill from that time until the present. It makes you less likely to reach your potential in your career and can really wear on your spouse (and children had a whole new level of disorganization to the mix). I'm currently modifying my diet and finding it helpul. I'm also seeing a doctor this month about ADHD for the first time to see what else might be helpful. I encourage you to check it out for yourself.

Good Luck!
Scattered

You all are reminding me of my career that lasted 14 years. I was laid off a few years ago and now have a job. I went from direct care to shift supervisor to speech therapist to adult educator. When I was promoted to adult educator, I had to train and supervise myself. I had to come up with plans with no direction or training. I did okay (eventually got those notes done) for awhile. Then I became bored. I loved the active part of working, but the paperwork was getting to me. I was laid off before anyone noticed.

YES, I am highly critical of myself. The woman who checked everyone's notes loved mine. I was highly creative and descriptive in my notes (TY ADD).