View Full Version : Emotional Dysregulation


Fuzzy12
01-04-13, 09:46 AM
I can't control my emotions. At all. I overreact to every tiny trigger. The slightest of slights can make me super depressed and contemplate suicide. A sad song (and most songs that I love are rather sad) can make me depressed. I overreact to the news or anything I see on TV (even fiction can make me cry) to such a bad extent that my husband has started observing me closely when we are watching TV so that he can quickly change the channel as soon as something slightly less than happy or funny is showing.

It's easy to feel bad but it's a huge struggle to try to feel better again. When I can feel my mood sinking, I try to fight it. I try to generate happy, stimulating thoughts but it rarely works. I feel helpless controlling the on slaught of negative emotions. I could just let it go and let myself feel my emotions but the problem is that once I feel bad, it's very, very difficult to start feeling better again.

It works the other way round too though not to that extreme. I get very easily excited and can feel a twinge of happiness about very little things. Like feeling the sun on my skin or seeing a cute little bird (usually any animal will do, apart from humans and insects) or just the rare happy thought.

I've been reading up on ultradian cycling (or ultra-ultra-ultra rapid mood swings) i.e. mood swings that occur in less than 24 hours. There isn't much in the literature about it but it does get a mention here and there, though usually in pediatric bipolar cases.

These daily mood swings are much more difficult to deal with than the ones that occur over a longer period of time. They eat away at me, little by little. I feel like a ship that has lost its sail. Does this happen to anyone as well and if yes, have you found a way to deal with it?

Raye
01-04-13, 10:37 AM
When you have an impairment, I believe it's not possible to 'will' yourself to feel better. Not being able to control emotions is part of being impaired.

Just realize when you have this, it's not your fault. I personally hate when I'm feeling down and my mother tells me to 'be grateful for what you have'

She doesn't understand that it's the illness causing it, I don't choose to feel this way and if I had the ability to turn if off like a light switch, I would in a heartbeat.

Hugs Fuzzy :grouphug: you aren't alone.

I so hope the best for you. You've suffered a long time and deserve some real happiness.

saturday
01-04-13, 03:25 PM
I've been reading up on ultradian cycling (or ultra-ultra-ultra rapid mood swings) i.e. mood swings that occur in less than 24 hours. There isn't much in the literature about it but it does get a mention here and there, though usually in pediatric bipolar cases.

This is my theory on "ultra rapid mood cycling", and I dont have anything to back this up except my own expiriences and a general, though very basic knowledge of mood disorders. When expiriencing a mania you can either feel euphoric or dysphoric, right?. Well, I haven't read anything that says a person remains in one state or the other through out their episode.

Basically, I dont really belive in ultra rapid mood swings in the real sense. I belive people can go from euphoric to dysphoric mania all with in the same episode and that could be missinterpreted as rapid cycling.

I've also wondered if a person who truly has ADHD and who is also on the Bipolar spectrum could expirience these ultra rapid cycles more so than someone with Bipolar alone would.

All very interested to consider.

dogluver358
01-04-13, 05:21 PM
This is my theory on "ultra rapid mood cycling", and I dont have anything to back this up except my own expiriences and a general, though very basic knowledge of mood disorders. When expiriencing a mania you can either feel euphoric or dysphoric, right?. Well, I haven't read anything that says a person remains in one state or the other through out their episode.

Basically, I dont really belive in ultra rapid mood swings in the real sense. I belive people can go from euphoric to dysphoric mania all with in the same episode and that could be missinterpreted as rapid cycling.

I've also wondered if a person who truly has ADHD and who is also on the Bipolar spectrum could expirience these ultra rapid cycles more so than someone with Bipolar alone would.

All very interested to consider.

saturday, I read an article from Brown's Psych Dept that mentioned something similar. When people are in mixed states they could seem to "cycle" rapidly. I'll have to pull up the article when I'm home (it's on my computer in another state) but there is evidence of what you mentioned. I'll post it if you're interested.

saturday
01-04-13, 05:26 PM
I'll post it if you're interested.

Absolutely, thanks. :)

hanikamiya
01-04-13, 08:04 PM
When I was depressed, the worst time was the winter of 2001/2002. The news were full of the war in Afghanistan.

That was the time when I stopped watching news. I couldn't bear it. I knew I could not help, I knew I would hurt myself watching, so I shut off the TV and stopped reading the newspaper.

I started listening to BBC radio news in 2006 or so, because I noticed I could bear those. I still don't watch the TV news. The images will burn themselves into my memory, and I can't make myself numb to them.

It's okay.


I cry when reading the sources for our history assignment. I know to steel myself before dealing with the holocaust, but reading about the millions of refugees in Europe after the end of the war caught me unaware. It's okay. I cry. I cry because it's horrible. I cry because I know how it is not to have a home. I cry because I don't know how it is to flee from armed violence, but I can imagine that it is horrible. I cry because I know there are people experiencing it, today.

I used to cry because I thought that they suffered so much more than me, and I had to get my life straight and I was incapable and ...

But those thoughts only make me suffer more.

So whenever they come up I distract myself. With mindnumbing things. Listening to industrial metal or radio broadcasts in Burmese and doing sudoku or bejewelled blitz or something like that. Until the guilt trip and ruminations have worn themselves out. It takes a long time. The next couple of times I'll catch myself before falling into the guilt trap. Or maybe not. There were months, spread over years, when I could only sleep after hours of that treatment.


But somehow, the days when I started being able to cry about how sad and horrible life sometimes is, those were the days when I could start feeling how beautiful and wonderful it also can be. Not the fake happiness I get from comedy shows, or the strained happiness I got from my cat or a helicopter ride -these days it feels more natural-, but something deeper. A connection.


I was diagnosed with unipolar depression, but basically on good days I could hold up my mood and fake being okay - without really functioning. And when stuff came that was too difficult to cope with that front just disintegrated.


I don't know if any of that helps, but:

Protect yourself. Let yourself be protected by your husband.
It is important. You need to survive now, not fake being able to live the life you think people expect from you.

Ride it out.
You might think you're like a person on a small boat in a storm.
But you're the ocean. The person on the boat is only what shows you that there's a storm. It feels very real. But you are the ocean. You will find a way to calm the waves. Some days there will be other storms, but you will calm the waves, and then find ways to supply the person in the boat with a bigger boat, with a crew, with a calm protected bay to stay until the storm has passed.

Zaashy
01-05-13, 09:59 AM
I know exactly what you mean Fuzzy, nobody around me understands me and it's frustrating that's why I come here. I can watch a movie once it's fine unless it has a sad ending then I get depressed. I can never re-watch a movie because I know what's coming and I get sad thinking about the end. I generally watch till mid point and put it off. I never knew why I did that until recently.