It has to do with trust combined with a fear of failure.

It has to do with trust combined with a fear of failure.
rasberryrum, when any of us attempt to enter into a relationship of any kind, we take risks. there is no 100% guarantee that everything will be a bed of roses, but what we can all do is make sure that "we" are the right person, rather than looking for the "right" person.

If we are the right person, we will attract the right person who is less likely to break our trust.

Failure and fear of failure possibly stems from the way you feel about yourself.
Have you discussed this with your Dr? Because there is so much you can do to improve how you feel, and how your perceive.

Perhaps someone broke your trust? Perhaps there are issues that have not been fully addressed and need to be, but rasberry, you needn't go through all your life feeling this way, and I really feel for you right now that you do.

Posting the small sentence you did says you don't want to feel like this, and neither will you have to with correct help.

I'm sorry if my reply seems so inadequate; I feel it is, and would love to wave a magic wand and make you feel better, but it doesn't work that way....I wish it did ;)

Thank you for your advise. yeah this has something to do with someone breaking my trust and, to tell you the truth i am not over him. I am working on myself but its hard. I am in therapy

Blue said:
'If we are the right person, we will attract the right person who is less likely to break our trust.'

And if they do break it, you just have to trust in yourself to know what makes you happy, and be a little more selective the next time.
Or be a more aloof like I've gotten accustomed to being, and not expect anything from someone :D
Either way, it makes for less depression in the long run, sweetie.
Nova

It has to do with trust combined with a fear of failure.
I completely understand.

if your afraid of relationships how do you surive in the world?

I too am not only relationship paranoid but it also applies to commitments. When I'm talking, dating or seeing someone and I feel it's too soon for them to be talking about Marriage and the like, immediatley back off.

I too am not only relationship paranoid but it also applies to commitments. When I'm talking, dating or seeing someone and I feel it's too soon for them to be talking about Marriage and the like, immediatley back off.
my questions to you are, has backing off brought about any sort of resolve?
Or have you spoken to the person that speaks of such things too early as to how you felt due to it?

What have you experienced as the feedback?


Sometimes I wonder, due to this being something I have heard from many here with ADD in similar situations, if this is a backfire of ADD.

I get scared when I am in a relationship. I dont know how to act when I am around a guy. I know I have been hurt buy guys before, and boys is school I dont know if that has anything to do with it. I am afraid to let others in. I wish I had the answer. auntchris