(PLEASE HELP ME. I THOUGHT THAT I FOUND THE KEY TO LIFE'S UNANSWERED QUESTIONS. UNTIL I WENT TOO FAR AND MESSED IT ALL UP...)


I was introduced to Adderall in the typical college scene of students using it just to get that focus-high-buzz, and un/fortuanatly, I experented with it, and I liked it, and then I stopped using it illicitly, and actually thought to myself if I really had ADD...So I took it orally instead of.:confused: .well you know, and then it was like a whole new world, I mean, I'm not talking about a new "high," but it was wierd, and yet I felt as though I found my answer to my unanswered questions in life!; I was more focused, I felt better, and you all know what I mean.

SO, I went to the doc to see if I did have it. And before I tell you what he thought, I must also mention that I was under the most biased act while I was talking to her; nights prior before talking to her, I read up on the symptoms of ADHD and I more or less acted it out and yet, amplified it in front of her. OK, listen, I may sound a bit conning, and very much like a druggie desperatly in attempts to do whatever he can to get his drug after describing the above:(..but I did truely believe I had ADD regardless. My friends have told me, and also after taking several of those on-line tests by those websites, I've found out that I do actually have it, only in a mild case..

She concluded that she saw signs of ADD more on the side of anxiety if any..She gave me the choice of Strattera, and Adderall XR, and she strongly was going for the non-stimulant, until I gave her my strong motives which gave Adderall the brighter light. I basically told her that Adderall, and more or less the use of stimulants has been around and has shown to improve the symtpoms of ADHD as opposed to Straterra's 2 1/2 year birth.. She comprimised and instead of giving me the fast acting acting pills, she gave me XR 10mgs... . . . . . . . .. . ..... . . . . . . .. . ..... . . . . . . .. . ..... . . . . . . .. . ..... . . . . . . .. . ..... . . . . . . .. . .................................................. .......
And then I started abusing it. I took 3x amount the first day (30mgs), and yes, I was totally wired but then came down hard, 2nd day:30mgs, 3rd day: 30 mgs, and 10 mgs snorted, and...well, it was like that until I ran out in a week for a bottle that was prescribed for a month. So I call her back up, and asked her to see her earlier becuase next week I'll be leaving for college, and she said ok.

I saw her today, and she was surprised I guess to see that I self medicated myself and boosted it up to 20mgs (had to fib so she wouldn't call the cops..!) after the first two days of 10's didn't work..she seemed pretty dissapointed and gave me strattera.

I've seen to the extent the therapeutic values of adderall, but now I messed it all up. I don't know if there are any other ways now to convince her that i will follow through...what should I do? I mean, since I have been pre-exposed to the drug scene stuff in college, do you guys think its a better idea if I just go for the strattera? :(..or more importantly, ..are there more important issues at hand such as:
1)Do I really have ADD (Due to the fact that I somewhat fooled her into thinking so, hence, the pills)..if not, then why did she still prescribe me with strat...
2)Am I just a druggie..
3)..help me

First of all, I've heard that if a person does not truely have ADD, then Adderall will give the high feeling, etc. If you really do have ADD, then adderall should show signs of improving everyday life such as focusing, etc. (if it is the right med for you) It may not be a total improvement, but some kind of improvement... Then improvement should increase when adderall is increased. It takes more than 2 days to get the full effect, approx 2-3 weeks. If you are truely worried about ADD, then give the strattera a try. Maybe it will work better... After all, you want to improve the ADHD, right? 10 mgs of adderall is a low dose, if the strattera doesn't work, suggest going back to adderall becasue it seemed to have some improvement?
This is a tough one. Adderall can be addictive, hense why it is so tough to obtain. That is probalby why your dr. switched it. Perhaps you could try taking another eval from another dr (without faking it)? OR... you could always try being Honest with the dr you've got now.....

The first thing if you really want to help yourself is to get a good honest diagnosis. You're not helping yourself by going into a doctors office and a faking or amplifying the symptoms - in fact, your doctor was probably sceptical to begin with as they see people faking illness to get drugs, or attention, all the time! Doctors are trained to look for this, so even if you are a good actor, you won't fool most doctors for very long.
Then you should take the medication, whatever it is, as directed. You aren't going to be helping yourself if you just abuse the medication you are given.
I don't know if you have ADD or not - most people exhibit some of the symptoms, so to say you have "mild" ADD based on on-line tests might just make you average. Lots of other things can look like ADHD - depression, drug abuse, not getting enough sleep.... - that's why a good doctor will take their time doing a diagnosis and will ask questions (usually in the form of a questionaire) of your family and friends to see what their preception of your behaviour is. Another thing to consider is that ADD doesn't just show up suddenly when you are an adult - people that have it have always had it - so symptoms should have been evident when you were a child, usually at age 7 or even before, even if no-one diagnosed you then, usually you can look back in hindsight for symptoms and say "yes or no". School preformance and behaviour at an early(er) age - before you started using drugs - may be more indicitive of ADD than your behaviour now. Substance abuse is quite common in the ADHD population - it's the poor impulse control you know, and I know first hand - so your drug use doesn't mean that you don't have ADHD, but since it can present the same symptoms, it can be hard to tell the difference.
If you honestly want to help yourself, that's what I'd do.
And as a favour to all of us here - who have had to go through the time and trouble to get a full diagnosis, build trust with their doctors and STILL have to go see (and pay) the doctor every month to get the scrip we because it can't be phoned in due to all of the people out there who use and abuse stimulant medication illegally - stop using Adderall without a prescription or taking more than directed! It's not doing anyone any good, especially you.
Good luck,
Greg

i agree with greg here, but also want to emphatically add that it is going to be nearly impossible for an adhd dx to be properly made as long as you continue abusing drugs. when your behaviors cannot be documented during periods of time in which you aren't jacked up, or coming down from being jacked up, there are simply too many chemical issues going on that muddy the waters and make accurate dx impossible. at least that's my opinion.

The first thing if you really want to help yourself is to get a good honest diagnosis. You're not helping yourself by going into a doctors office and a faking or amplifying the symptoms - in fact, your doctor was probably sceptical to begin with as they see people faking illness to get drugs, or attention, all the time! Doctors are trained to look for this, so even if you are a good actor, you won't fool most doctors for very long.
and a good honest doctor too.

bukgait-

A truthful dx is going to take more than one visit to the doctor's office. any doctor who is giving you Adderall on your FIRST or SECOND visit is fishy. the doctor should run several tests (iq and/or a learning difficulties test), there should be interviews with CLOSE family, survey's tend to help as well, and your past/present school performance and/or work situations should also be discussed with a CLOSE family member that can agree/verify what you are saying.

If you want a good/honest eval. you will need one that is longer than one or two sessions. i had EIGHT sessions (1 a week) before i was told i had it. you can fool the doctor once, maybe twice, but if you are going 5,6,7 times, he will be able to see though it.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Answering your lead yes I think it's obvious you can fool some docs.

But the real question is why would you want to--unless of course you are just into recreational use:(

If it's important enough to you I hope you will follow-thru and give yourself a chance for a real dx. If not it was nice of you to visit:)

I'm hoping you will share any questions and/or tools that help you during your journey.
I'd like to direct your attention to the wonderful search function on the upper right of each page. My favorite is to go to advanced search and click on the show posts button.

Quick notes that took me a while to find; calendar link above shows chat times and @ the bottom of each page as you scroll past the quick reply field are topics of similar interests that you might be interested in.

Read, search any words, topics, or questions that may interest you, and please POST!

2)Am I just a druggie..



I'm gonna go with "2", you are just a druggie. Stop lying to your doctor and get yourself diagnosed without acting like if you have something already.

Thanks for all your honest replies guys! It's really hard to actually question myself the relevance of my diagnosis..I mean, there has been a past history of these ADD symptoms that stem way back to when and before I was 7. I was always a troubled child, always hyper; sometimes getting me into trouble with the kids at school as far as fist fights and little things that would constitute me being suspended. Then their was middleschool, where I gathered attention to many kids to come watch a fight go down between me and this other kid, then in Highschool, I just became really introverted and anti-social to an extent..and to the point where I dropped out, got my GED and then sought a refuge in my community college, boosted up my grades, and then transferred to an acceptable University.
So, "fool me once shame on you, fool you twice, shame on me.." ..like i said, I went back to see her yesterday and ****, I totally wasn't acting like myself like that first day that I went to see her..Basically, I ran out of my 30 day 10mg prescription in less than a week, and there I was, a week later, trying to I think rationalize that I took 10mgs for the first 2 days, didn't work, then tried 20 mgs until it wore off during the afternoon, hence my comedowns...and when she heard that, like I explained in the above, i guess thats why she quickly implied Strattera. SO, I am very confused..now if I don't have ADD, then why is she going to prescribe me with Strattera? Research has shown that it was used for depression, I do actually have it..but, why not put me on some other well known Antidepressant, instead of implying that I still do have ADD? Was she probably suspecting that I was a druggie? I mean, I seriously told her that I thoought that it was helping me out: I was focused, at ease, except for the comedowns..and..grrr. I dunno.
And in regards to Strattera, man, I've hard sooo many bad postings about that drug that it actually scares the hell out of me..I mean, not to mention that I'm going to start my spring semester classes next week, like, I don't wanna be falling asleep, throwing, and pupil-eyed in class due to all these side-effects!?? Seriusly, out of like 100 stories that I read about Strattera here, I don't see why only about 10 entries seem to spark any good about that drug!?

This is just what I felt when reading your post........You sound like you have never been satisfied with just being yourself, for some reason you feel you need to express yourself, in wanting people to see you for what you are, but you won't just be who you are. You think you have to be a little more like this or like that. You probably exaggerate everything, just for some reason, you don't think people will pay attention if you don't. You probably over indulge in everything too. right or wrong? feel free to post back at me...on my opinion...Do you happen to be a capicorn? lol... inside joke for me...Anyway you may very well have a problem...Because most people with a problem like adhd don't have to make-up or act...Usually the other way around, I would think LOL, I know I am always trying to act cool... trying not to let people know just how frazzeled I really am. But then I've seen people like you who go out of their way to prove something that is apparent to others, but for some reason their scared you won't see it so they go...ANOYINGLY...trying to prove themselves...i may add...Exagerating the heck out of it, to the point they are looking like a fake, but indeed they are not... Now I am not saying this is exactly what you are doing, because I think it is strange the way you went about taking that script... You took it more for the high and what you could prove to people while you were on it, rather than for the right reasons. I say this because I am recently trying adderall myself, and I have 15mg. to start with one a day and to try 2 if I didn't see results. Now granted we are all different and get different effects. But I have never gotten any kind of high off them, I've tried 2, I've tried one now one later, 2 now one later 2 now 2 later and I have took 3 at a time I have opened them and ate it on applesauce.Didn't see to many variances in the way I felt or acted, It's been 2 weeks now and I am just starting to see some results. But no highs. I have gotten a high off of to much recreational drugs, along with the focus I got off them. To me if you are getting a high off any drug then you are taking to much or don't need it at all. I am not sure what exactly "your" problem is, but I would worry more about why you can't seem to except you for YOU! Stop Putting On An ACT! good luck to you, at least you are aware of something, better then some..........

You might very well have ADD. You might also be well on the road to becoming addicted to amphetamine. Regardless, I'm glad to see you've realized that trying to fool the doctor isn't a good idea. As hard as it may be, I would definitely be straight with her about what you had done. I'd also give the Strattera a try.

For me, as far as side effects, it made me a little sleepy and somewhat constipated. That's it. It was effective by itself, but much more effective in combination with Wellbutrin (which, also, is another medication option). IMO, you have to give it a chance, otherwise, it may very well be a self-fulfilling prophecy that you'll have side effects. I would try to take it without preconception and be as honest as possible when evaluating the effects.

It sounds like your doctor is trying to help you. You didn't really post much about her, but it sounds like she's a caring medical professional who's trying to prevent you from doing something self-destructive. I'm sure she suspects you were abusing the Adderall, which was what prompted the switch to Strattera.

Most of all, I hope you give yourself a chance to feel better. The only way that will happen is if you are honest with yourself and your doctor.

I suspect that the doctor is not certain you are faking and is giving you the benefit of the doubt in treating you with Strattera. If you are ADHD, Strattera may well help you out - it helps a lot of people and most of them don't necessarily post about it - the negative ones often do, that's just human nature. Most side effects go away fairly quickly and the drug reaches it's full effect in a few days to a few weeks, once you get up to an effective dosage. I haven't taken Strattera myself (I'm in Canada and they aren't selling it here yet) but I've taken other anti-depressants with similar side effects profiles and I doubt you'll have a hard time with it. Since school is starting and you may well want improved focus, etc for classes, it would be prudent to give it a try, if you indeed beleive you have ADHD. If you stick with it, be honest with the doctor, and take this seriously, if you have ADHD, I think you will get some relief - and once you've gained the trust of the doctor, she may let you try stimulants again - lot of people take them WITH Strattera. And as far as being "scared as hell" of Strattera - and you'll have to forgive me for being harsh here - but give me a break! You had no fear of taking 3 times the prescribed dosage of Adderall and in snorting it too - and I'll bet you took a whole lot more than 3 times more than once (again, knowing first hand how people under-report drug use to others & you admittedly used a month's supply in a week) - so it's not like you're afaid you won't feel "yourself". Other drugs you've used - like weed - will make you sleepy, so I'm guessing you're not afaid of that. Your "fear" is a rationalization for not trying Strattera - I'm not sure why you don't want to take it - fear of success perhaps? (again, I know first hand about that - fears have a way of being irrational).
Be honest with yourself when you make the choice to take Strattera or not, since being honest with yourself is in your own best interest. If you decide not to take it, then give up on the scripts for stimulant meds, since this doctor isn't going to give you any more and if you approach other doctors the same way, you'll run into the same problems. I'm not sure if there is a reporting system used for schedule II drugs, but I'll bet the scrips are cross-checked and if you see a couple of doctors for the same problem within a short period of time, it might get flagged - and "faking" illness to get drugs is illegal. Caveat Emptor
I'm sorry if anything I've said has hurt your feelings, but this is a time when you want to be brutally honest. If you are ADHD, the correct diagnosis and treatment could well change your life - the ability to control and channel your energy and intellect into things that enrich your life, make you money, bring you joy is a marvelous thing if, like me, you've never really been able to master that - but until you take the problem seriously, you won't be able to get that - how will you really know for sure that you are ADHD if the diagnosis is based on an act?
Regards,
Greg

OK, I understand where you guys are coming from. It's almost like hearing abroken record from some close friend or my parents. You see, in my whole life, I knew that deep down inside, there was somthing empty, or something missing in my life that I could see that other kids had that I didn't. And I say this in true honesty. Even though I had no problems with it when I was young, being rebelious was all about being a teenager..now I'm an adult at 20, and I feel left back, due to my absence in the conformity of the mass...I've realized that in order to function, or more less LIVE, is to suck it up, and do what you have to do to live, regarldess if you like it or not. Aderall made me feel. It made me focus...

Now, when I first took aderall, it was in it's pure explicit/illicit way; snorting it...I only got a sence of focus and speed from it...nothing pyschologically motivating to pursue it as some therapeutic value..but last month, I was cramming for finals, and my friend gave me a 10mg XR tab, and he said that you could only drink it down, because they were beads.. So I did. and when I did, I DID NOT any highs like I did when I first used it..I felt this type of feeling where I felt like, i was myself for once..You see, coming from a drug-abuser's point of view, you only benefit from the highs of substances, but this wasn't the case for me at the moment....I didn't feel guilty (cuz i didn't snort it), yet..I didn't feel high..but, I felt this .."Lightbulb" effect..I felt this focusing, concentrating, at ease, myself type of feel. I wasn't high, but..I was me(!)..thinking everything in my mind, before I said it, which cancelled out impulsivity, yet, focused, and feeling happy about it..would a druggie think like this, yet feel like this?

What I'm trying to say is that...one of the above posts mentioned that if you truely had a.d.d., then the effects of taking adderal would make you feel normal..and if a normal person was to take it, then he would just get a high...tell me what you think...this can be answer to whether or not I jeoperdize my classes by sleeping through them by taking Strattera, or searching for another drug, maybe for Depression like Wellbutrin or Effexor...

This is just what I felt when reading your post........You sound like you have never been satisfied with just being yourself, for some reason you feel you need to express yourself, in wanting people to see you for what you are, but you won't just be who you are. ..



Ok, I may be new to this forum, but right off the dot, I have never seen any post as oposing and vulgar then this when from"Gypsysway." Listen, why don't you go shove it up your.. and really hear into what bukate has to say instead of assuming things. And your assumptions may or may not be correct, but what you posted in what I quoted you on above, is EXACTLY what people with ADHD have, to an extent! You should keep to yourself next time and if you are going to be vulgar, why not try it on someone who E.D.D., Excess Adrenaline Disorder and see how he'll respond. I'm sorry to if I rub off a little too agitated but I just don't like it when people critisize other people when in fact, we have no clue to what its like in their shoes.

This thread is now closed since members are not following the guidelines.