View Full Version : Long read--but in need of some insight (sleep issues--out of the norm)


BellaVita
01-10-13, 05:16 PM
Sorry--long read. But any responses/insights are greatly appreciated. :)

I've been having some sleeping issues lately.

It's been getting progressively worse after each night, and last night I got absolutely no sleep at all.

For the longest time, I was actually oversleeping, sleeping 9-12(sometimes 14!!) hours per night on average.
And as if out of no where, my body/brain decided one night that it only wanted 4-ish hours of sleep.

And so it's been like this lately, getting little to no sleep...BUT...I have some weird things along with it, most of which I've experienced before to some degree over the past several months/years:

-I'm having trouble falling asleep, even after taking sleeping medicine(Trazodone), Clonazepam, (I also take my Lexapro at night--which makes me sleepy anyway) Also, I don't drink caffeine.

-Funny thing is, the sleeping pills don't seem to TOUCH my insomnia. In fact, it's as if they make me even MORE hyper/wound up/brain willll noooot slow down. :doh:

-And that's the thing, MY BRAIN WON'T SLOW DOWN!
I was on a med break(probably didn't help racing thoughts/sleep), and finally am back on adderall IR again(long story--went without it for a couple weeks due to med shortage..was only planning for one week.:rolleyes: ). Anyways, even that only slows my brain down for a short time, and then it's horrid once the meds wear off..

-I am not tired. I've tried napping, just because I feel that what my body is going through isn't healthy.. but to no avail. I just wanna do this/that, talk to someone/be creative/be extra generous for some reason!!/study a broad range of topics/theories/etc..

-I have soooooo much energy! I feel like I could run miles!! I always have to be moving..which I know comes with the ADHD package. (and I do get plenty of exercise!..)

-I also feel like I keep having these "aha" moments or epiphanies about life. I dig into things deep and think I've found "hidden meaning" in things. :eyebrow:

-I'm more confident than the norm. (especially in my abilities/talents or whatever)

-More witty than I usually am. Atleast in my perception.

-And idk if it's hormones/sleep-deprivation/who knows, but my "drive" has been crazy!! (boyfriend likes it, though. :o)

-I've had the urge to spend money. And I don't have money to spend.
I keep making lists and plans of things I want to buy...I have to be careful, because sometimes my impulsivity gets the best of me...

-I have a constant flow of ideas running through my head. And in all different directions, about sooo many things. I can't even keep up with them. When I try to tell others about them, they can't keep up. (btw I talk alot normally. people often can't keep up with me...but this time it seems to be woooorse than ever! SOOO MANY SHINY IDEAS I CAN'T CHOOSE! So I say as many as I can at once!)

This happens about once a month or so.
It's really frustrating, because I end up ticking people off/messing up my sleep cycle/making bad decisions/end up depressed and pooped-out after it thinking "what the heck was I on??"

I honestly have no idea why this happens/what causes it.

My next pdoc appointment is in 18 days. I'm going to bring this up to him again as I just can't seem to find relief from this. Maybe I should have a sleep study done?

(My psychiatrist has tried/put me on several different types of meds to help sleep over the past four years...I've also been to bio/neurofeedback, therapy, have tried herbal remedies,diet/lifestyle changes, and so on..)

I don't really think I have a clear question here...but if anyone has some insights/thoughts/personal stories/comments--I'd love to hear!!

Thanks!!!:)

BellaVita
01-10-13, 10:38 PM
So, I'm still really hyper...if that's what you call it?
I've exercised, didn't nap at all..was moving most of the day, busy...and yet here I am with a lot of energy and restless thoughts that keep entertaining my brain.
Wish my thoughts would slow down. Wish I would slow down. :rolleyes:
*sigh*

ezridax
01-10-13, 11:05 PM
Are you bipolar? Has this happened before?

BellaVita
01-10-13, 11:42 PM
No, as far as I know I'm not. My pdoc doesn't seem to think I am, he said one time that it has to do with ADHD. But, I've been suspected of it before several years back(another pdoc, not the one I see now.)

I tried mood stabilizers and other like meds, but I didn't like how they made me feel. (Zombie-like-Seroquel Rage outbursts-Remeron and some Lithium stuff which I never tried as I felt I didn't need it at the time...can't remember the rest but there's a couple more.)

My mom is most likely suffering from bipolar, the psychiatrist is keeping an eye on her. Another professional in the field stated that she seems to have classic bipolar. (Not quite sure what they meant by that?) She also has ADHD(diagnosed). I wouldn't be surprised if she does indeed have it. (Not trying to diagnose--but it would make sense...lived with her for around 17 years got out as fast as I could...sadly..)

And yes this has happened a few times before. Things got worse (as in the frequency of the symptoms I listed earlier) once I got put on Lexapro. Sometimes this just happens out of no where...like a switch is flipped and I suddenly go through these sleepless nights..I have worried several people (including my dad and boyfriend) as this isn't normal behavior for me.

Could it be the Lexapro?
It works to take away my anxiety, though. And I've been depression-free most of the time.

ezridax
01-10-13, 11:57 PM
Could be the lexapro....how long have you been taking it?

SSRIs can sometimes trigger a manic episode ...

Sandy4957
01-11-13, 12:15 AM
Hello HYPOMANIA!

Chicka, you're screaming it.

That's hypomania.

It doesn't feel bad, really, but you will crash a bit eventually, and if you're lucky, you'll merely sleep a lot. If you're not lucky, you'll dip into a depressive state.

I never had the depression, just the hypomania.

The racing thoughts can subside a bit with an anti-anxiety medication. I take a pretty low dose of Lorazepam to sleep. I think that I take 5 mg. If I'm going to bed early and I have those racing thoughts I might take 10 mg. But 10 mg will make me sleep for 12 hours, so I need to have enough time for that.

I mean, I am no doctor, of course, but you've described my hypomanic episodes to a T, there, girl...

Sandy4957
01-11-13, 12:17 AM
P.S. If this isn't disabling for you, don't sweat it too much. Lots of very creative, very successful people accomplish a lot in these states. Just know what you're dealing with and prepare for the eventual drop.

Oh, and some people drop to becoming irritable, just fyi.

BellaVita
01-11-13, 05:56 AM
Thanks for the responses everyone!

ezridax--I first started taking Lexapro at the end of July 2012. The start-up wasn't a pleasant experience. Here's a link to a thread I made about it back in August:

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=128811

Sandy4957--I liked how you began your reply post :lol:

Thanks for the tip about anti-anxiety medication. I took a little more Clonazepam tonight(along with my Trazodone) and it seemed to calm my mind a wee-bit. My mind is still playing tricks on me and out-smarting the meds, though.

I've really enjoyed doing creative/artsy things during this time. It's like explosions of ideas from my head coming into real-life form. (If that makes sense?)

I'm starting to get irritated with the constant energy, though. It's like a burning/tension-building sensation that forms in my legs and body and I just HAVE to move.

I really wanted to sleep tonight...no idea what tomorrow will be like. Oh yeah, I have to take my dog to the vet tomorrow morning. (her appointment is at 10am) THAT'LL be interesting.. :eek:

I have a list of fun doggy things I wanna buy her...I literally daydreamed up the whole list before I even wrote it down...hopefully it won't be too too expensive..eh..
The list for myself is even longer. :faint: (especially the art and toys section of that list...I have a new obsession with toys recently...like I'm visiting my childhood.)
And the grocery list..there's sooo many new recipes I wanna try!!
And then I wanna get certain gifts for people and and...oh man..

Any tips for my day today? Should I avoid certain foods/drinks?
Can you get hypomania with ADHD? (If that is for certain what I'm going through right now.)
What other things can trigger it? Is it always associated with Bipolar disorder?
And if a medication (like my Lexapro) did trigger it, what could this mean? Could it just be that my body is sensitive to it?

Sorry, so many questions...don't know much about it...I'm not sure WHAT to even think about it!?
Oh well, for now I'll just go with the flow I guess...:D :rolleyes:

THANKS again for your help everyone!!! I'm very thankful!

Sandy4957
01-11-13, 01:33 PM
Buying things is a bit of a bad idea in this phase, because you will overspend. A friend of mine who has full-blown bipolar bought $30,000 worth of books in one month once... :)

Make a list of what you want to buy and then tell yourself that you can buy it in a couple weeks if you still want it. Or shop for the "best" of whatever it is...

Art and writing are good creative outlets.

Exercise can help to even you out.

I have no idea if the meds can trigger it. For me, it was triggered by staying up all night, which I did because I was edging that direction anyway, and then succumbed to it.

Sleep is a very good way to bring it back under control, and if you have to use sleep aids to do it, then do. I had a Rx for Ambien and at the worst of my hypomanic phases, I would use it most nights.

Then I sort of normalized my sleep patterns over a period of years and I rarely go into these phases anymore.

BTW, if you don't have psychosis, then this is what you've got, and it's called cyclothymia or (I think) Bipolar II. It's not full on Bipolar I, where you'll get a bit of psychosis. I only had that once, and the psychosis was pretty much limited to seeing shapes or figures that I thought were people and then there was no one there.

BellaVita
01-11-13, 06:30 PM
Update:

I feel lost... losing track of time, mental confusion, anxiety, head feels weird and spacy, I don't feel "normal."

I can't really describe what I feel, it's all odd to me. And I'm scared to death to tell anyone cuz' I don't want people to think I'm weird.

I was doing so good for so long...Gotta keep reminding myself "this too shall pass." It's like there's a strange feeling inside me that I can't describe..
I feel stuck. I need to figure out what's wrong with me. I need to fix this.

I need to talk to a professional,but I want someone who's not quick-to-judge. Someone who knows exactly what to do--and yes I know this is crazy to expect of someone, but I don't want to get messed up further like I have in the past.(wrong meds that made me worse)

I feel scared like I messed something up. Like my brain has messed me up.

It is rare for me to share my feelings like this. Please keep that in mind whoever is reading this...I just feel safer expressing my thoughts here than to anyone in real life right now.

I feel confused about my feelings. I want to get out of my head. (Sorry if I'm just repeating myself...)

I'm trying to talk myself out of this using logic, I can't seem to make it work. Usually it works. Or humor. But I can't laugh...I just want to cry, but no tears will come out. Makes me question if I'm even sad?
When will I feel normal again???
I really wish I could talk to my psychiatrist but their office is closed now.

I also feel dumb for thinking I had "special abilities" better than anyone else. I don't remember what else I really thought but it just all makes me feel like I'm a misfit, and a liar...Or like an attention seeker. I don't think I was, but maybe I was feeding off of it a bit? Who knows. I don't even know.

Mostly everything in my head seems like a big painted blur. I can't pick out the details.

I don't even wanna tell any of this to my boyfriend, we were doing so good.
But I know I said some strange(which I'm embarrassed about now) things to him last time we talked, and I think I hung up on him.
What if I'm too much for him to handle?? But I'm not like this usually??
Where did all of these feelings come from?? Usually I don't feel this much?
When will I go back to being my self again? I feel like this isn't me.

I have the wrong chemicals going on or something..
I feel frustrated. And I keep forgetting what I'm doing...

Can anyone give me some hope? :(
Dang I need a hug.

Sandy4957
01-11-13, 07:24 PM
Here's a hug, Bella. :grouphug:

I'm trying to talk myself out of this using logic, I can't seem to make it work. Usually it works. Or humor. But I can't laugh...I just want to cry, but no tears will come out. Makes me question if I'm even sad?
When will I feel normal again???
I really wish I could talk to my psychiatrist but their office is closed now.

I also feel dumb for thinking I had "special abilities" better than anyone else. I don't remember what else I really thought but it just all makes me feel like I'm a misfit, and a liar...Or like an attention seeker. I don't think I was, but maybe I was feeding off of it a bit? Who knows. I don't even know.

You can't reason your way out of this. But take a deep breath because it will pass.

You will feel normal again in a week or so, in my experience. Or you may dip low.

Best things to do: go for a long walk, or walk on a treadmill. Exercise, but not too vigorously. But exercise a lot. If you can walk on a treadmill most of the time that you're awake, great.

Eat carbs. They'll make you sleepier. Maybe drink beer if you can, but not too much.

Talk on the phone to trusted friends.

Your thoughts that you had special powers is called grandiose thinking. It's very common. Don't sweat it.

Make sure that you sleep. Sleep is key. If you're not sleepy and you don't have a sleep aid, you might try Benadryl or something over-the-counter. Sleep is very important to bring you down off of this.