Well I finally got to discuss the results of my latest 'official' Adult ADD screening & the diagnosis is 35-40% Inattentive ADD with 60% depression with a scrip for Strattera. I've tried other meds, antidepressants and stimulants & Wellbutrin without much magic so I guess the Strattera is an easy call though I've avoided it thinking the noradrenaline effect is going to mess with my sleep like other similar meds.

The screening was done by a (young) intern with review by a professor at the local big city med school. 1-1/2 hour interview with him & the prof plus a pile of questionaires.

The CAARS questionaire is the only one that was actually rated in any objective way. The numbers come up for my age group with a percentile for four components of ADHD plus overall score. 50% is an average human, 70% gets into what you might call clinical ADHD. There was one for me & one my spouse filled out which both came up real similar.

The CAARS questionnaire filled out by patient
73% Inattention/Memory Problems
56% Hyperactivity/Restlessness
42% Impulsivity/Emotional Lability
57% Problems with Self-Concept (hmm?)
63% ADHD Index (overall)

The CAARS questionnaire filled out by spouse
73% Inattention/Memory Problems
48% Hyperactivity/Restlessness
46% Impulsivity/Emotional Lability
60% Problems with Self-Concept (hmm?)
59% ADHD Index (overall)

The other rating scales I did my own math based on the scoring system suggested on one of them. I don’t know where ‘normal’ fits in these. It wasn’t easy to separate inattentive questions from other types. I’m guessing on these ‘normal’ is more like 0%

ADHD DSM IV
56% Adult filled out by patient
30% Childhood IV filled out by patient

ADHD DSM IV
49% Adult filled out by mother
5% Childhood filled out by mother

SNAP IV
18% filled out by patient
3% filled out by mother

Wender Utah Rating scale
21% filled out by patient

So anyways I only bothered to figure those numbers because I bothered to fill out the questionnaires. I don’t know if my calculations have any real meaning at all. The doc didn’t bother.

So basically I’ve got a little bit of inattentive ADD but it’s possible the depression could be exaggerating that though he thought it’s probably a genuine inattention issue.

I’m not quite sure why but he suggested group therapy because he thought I had socialization issues & it would do me good to get feedback from others. I don’t know if group therapy is just his general preference. I asked about cognitive therapy & he said yeah, that might be good, though it wasn’t his first thought.

So I don’t know where to go from here. I have certainly been more depressed recently waiting for these results & off all medications for a month or so, I tried cutting down on drinking for a few weeks but have pretty much slid off the wagon again. Nothing I’ve done including all sorts of meds & therapy has made a dent on my lack of discipline in my self employment though I suppose they all helped somewhat with depression, I don’t think anything made me less distracted or more focused except I guess the stimulants made me more hyper-focused, which can be a big part of my problem unless I could channel that towards the things I need to do to get by in life instead of hyper-focusing on idle distractions. I just can’t seem to get interested in anything useful.

He thought my excessive drinking is probably more self medicating than escape or pure craving/addiction. I asked if my drinking might be a big part of the problem and he didn’t really seem to think so, curiously. I’ve stayed away from weed for a few months now. Some of the stimulants provided a certain amount of replacement value for that but frankly they also kind of got me high. I had ordered some adrafinil which is similar to Provigil and is supposed to improve attention without the ‘high’ effect though it works kind more on the noradrenalin like strattera though not that simply. In any case it is very likely to cause me insomnia problems. It should arrive by next week and I guess I’ll try that before I try the Strattera if I even try Strattera at all though I suppose I ought to give it a shot I’m really not at all optimistic.

Basically I think I just need to somehow get my act together & show some damned discipline. Drugs don’t seem to help with that & I think it’s my major problem, which the (mild) ADD aggravates. The other option is to just give up & get a regular job so I’ll at least have a regular schedule & not fall into this pathetic cycle of procrastination I’ve been in for the last few years. I really wanted to make this work and be more independent because I just hate following orders but I don’t seem to be able to handle it. I could go back to school maybe & try something else but I can’t think of what and I really am pretty depressed currently so it’s hard to do much of anything at all.

Apologies for the long depressing post.

Paul,

Congratulations on following thru and getting dx'd

Pretty amazing how close both of your scores are too!

Wondering why you aren't giving the Strattera much hope, but you seem to be interested in the OTC you ordered---just wondering.

Don't think you can go wrong in a group setting you may actually meet a coach or a personal assistant you were looking for too.

Is there any business that you could look at maybe a part-time job in? Something that you are totally interested in? I always think that even if I won a lot of money I would still want to work/volunteer 3 days a week (some martyr huh:)

Now that you have a starting point keep us in posted on where you decide to go with it.

Thanks for your thoughts.

I've just heard so many bad side effects about the Strattera but I guess the people it works on like it just fine. It seems similar to meds I've tried that I didn't like also and it takes a month of maybe suffering to see if it works.

The other one isn't OTC, I ordered it overseas and similar to the very expensive US drug Provigil. It's not supposed to have icky side effects except insomnia. It's not really illegal here but not available either, sort of grey market I guess... because I'm impatient, don't trust doctors and I don't have insurance.

I have been doing some part time work and yes that works OK, I just get bored after a while if it's ongoing. I'm taking this time to try to figure out how to make this work and can afford it for a while but I'm just not making any progress.

I didn't find your post depressing at all! In fact, I can identify with it pretty well. For the longest time, I was focused on figuring out what my exact diagnosis should be... i.e. what exactly is wrong with me. Now, I still wonder from time to time, what is an ADD issue, what is an LD Issue, and what is just plain being normal.

The main thing for me, though, is that through meds and therapy, I've achieved a much higher level of functioning than before. A lot of what I've been doing recently is focusing on general health issues. Before treatment, I don't think I could have made the kind of changes I needed to make to make sure I stay healthy (diet, exercise, quitting caffeine, etc.). I probably would not have applied to graduate school, either.

I was actually just telling my psychiatrist today that when I started treatment, I was this strange mixture of hopeful, desperate, concerned, and a touch scared of what these meds were going to do to me. After I started taking them and things started getting better, I knew I was doing the right thing. I was lucky that the first couple meds we tried worked, but the point is, there is hope.

I'm also one of those that don't have nasty side effects from Strattera, btw. For me, the only negatives were that it made me a bit sleepy during the day and somewhat constipated. Everybody's biochemistry is different, but I wouldn't start taking it with the mindset that it's definitely going to have nasty side effects... that's almost a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just do your best to take care of yourself and watch and see what happens. :)

Thanks for your thoughts exeter. And thanks for the reminder that some people are indeed happy with strattera. I'm definitely not taking good care of myself but it feels like a chicken & egg scenario where it's hard to be good when I'm bummed. Exercise is uncomfortable, healthy food tastes bland & I crave the cigarettes. Blah. It would be nice to get some meds that gave me a little push out of this slump. It's all so subjective. I'm usually quite optimistic but not recently.