View Full Version : Shouls I Be Worried?


teacher abc
01-12-13, 09:47 PM
My DS has seldom been in good shape. However, my perception is that things have gotten far worse. My feeling is that he is totally giving up on life.
At his recent psychiatrist appointment, he was told he should take depression meds. He said he talked to the doctor about death, but he said he told the doctor he is not suicidal. I don't know more than that except that he said he was thinking about ways to die and that it would be better than his future. He told the doctor that he wasn't sure yet about the meds but told me he doesn't want to take them, but gave no reason why.He was holding his own in community college, with a lot of prodding from far away. He is now flunking out of his four year college that is close to
home. He just got three of his four grades. They were a WU in English (he didn't show up for the final), a C- in his science class and a C in creative writing--a course in his major. Even if he gt an A in the remaining course, which isn't going to happen, he will be on academic probation.I spoke to him about taking a leave for a semester. He said nothing.He is now casting aside all of his friends here. He hasn't made new ones. His friends here are now furious with him because he makes plans and then cancels, or avoids them altogether. The only friends he deals with are the ones upstate. He said he wants to get a factory job upstate. He said he wants to go there to "escape." He thinks that his problems won't follow him there.He told me yesterday that he is stressed out about "everything." School, his family. He keeps talking about not wanting or being able to
take on the responsibilities of growing up.His sleep patterns are even worse, sometimes going to sleep at 10:30 a.m.Today, I went there to check on him. He wouldn't even talk. After being there for an hour and a half and saying about 10 words to me (not very nicely either), when I realized he is not imminently suicidal, I left.Personally, I think he is giving up on life. I don't know what to do.

crystal8080
01-13-13, 04:37 AM
There just isn't much you can do except what you did. Sounds like he's trying to work it out. I sometimes get suicidal ideation. But I don't want to die. Its hard to explain. Its just part of the sickness. All the dr (and you) can do is encourage him to take medication. But unless its clear he is a danger to himself or others nothing much can be done. If it was me, I would ask him to call you every day just to let you know he's ok, then leave him be. If you think he's actively suicidal then of course you should be getting him admitted.

sarahsweets
01-13-13, 06:47 AM
Honestly I cant understand why the doctor didnt insist on hospitalization. He doesnt seem to be very stable and also it seems like he could get alot worse.

teacher abc
01-13-13, 10:24 AM
There is no question that he is unstable. But I don't think that being unstable is grounds for hospitalization. Right now, as I understand it, because of money, hospitals are not keeping patients in NYC unless it is a true emergency, especially in psychiatric wards. I do not think that they would keep him for a 72 hour hold because he is not, from what I can see YET showing immediate suicidal thought. He is thinking about death and about how it would release him from his future which he sees as being very bleak. He is thinking about ways he can die. He is not thinking about how he can accomplish them. Given the current fiscal situation, they would examine him and release him. The battle I have with the doctor is that he is very certain that my DS is not bipolar. He thinks he is depressed and has ADHD. The doctor doesn't see what I see, which is that there is a big fluctuation in his moods. Right now, what I am seeing is much more on the depression side, which is what is worrying me, but there has been more in the way of manic type behavior (e.g. wild spending, worse sleeping--staying up all night right into the morning). Through times, there have been times where he can be depressed, or somewhat manic (more spending, fast talking, unable to stop moving, some glimpses into hypersexuality). I think the doctor knows (I am sure I have told him, along with the fact that his mother is bipolar) but still thinks he is nor because in his mind he does not meet the characteristics as he knows them). However, I am not a doctor. But, I have not filled the doctor in yet on the current stuff and I do not know how much my DS has shared. So, I think I have to call the doctor and perhaps write a letter detailing everything.

Right now, we are in the position that he is supposed to start the new semester on 1/28. Truthfully, I would like to see him take a leave of absence. I have mentioned it--met with silence, then goes on talking about school. Then will stop suddenly and won't. He will be on probation. That is clear, no matter what he gets in the last class. This may mean that he can only take two classes. However, we need to meet with the Students with Disabilities office and/or Student Advisement asap. We also need to meet with financial aid because there are implications there. As I understand it, if he does not get off probation by the end of the year, he will have to pay back what he has already gotten. If he takes a medical leave, that would probably keep that from happening. But...I think he is giving up. He won't even talk about it. I don't think he is going to do anything. I offered to make the appointments, to go with him. I think he is now in a frame of mind where he cannot do it. The difficulty is, doing nothing at all is a decision that will yield really bad results (if he is supposed to start school, but doesn't go, he will be withdrawn. If you are withdrawn, not only will you have to pay back everything, you will never get aid again)...

PQLICE
01-17-13, 12:02 AM
In my depression I constantly think of ways to die. I got a great list of em building after each episode.

Make him food, make sure he has at least 3 meals, even if small. Buy food he actually likes, take him shopping. Take him to the hot tub at a recreation centre to get outta house if he's not showering.
Sleep pattern is very important for bipolars. Minimum 7 hours to a maximum of 10 hours to keep normal moods.
No stimulants unless ADHD/ADD. If he's on a stimulant it will make him go manic if he's truly bipolar. A non-abusable stimulant (anything but amphetamine). I went manic on cipralex when not on mood stabilizers.

Tell him to not worry about his future or make any decisions for the time being. Just focus on the here and now. Reality can scare people, and make them more depressed.

teacher abc
01-18-13, 12:59 AM
Taking a leave of absence is very complicated. But he is scaling back to two classes. He never eats three meals. I am lucky if he gets two. I have bought him food but I don't know if he actually eats it. The doctor knows about the suicidal ideations. He says ne doesn't want to "push him" to take depression meds. Doctor does not think he is bipolar even though bio mom is and other symptoms. He has taken ADHD meds but not consistently and I don't think it is related to the manic spending (hadn't taken them for a little while before that).