View Full Version : Could i have bipolar?


Newtodexedrine
01-18-13, 05:25 PM
i'll start by saying i was diagnosed with ADHD when i was 10 and took Dexedrine spansule, seroquil and concerta if i remember correctly, i took those for about 3 years and then stopped using them because i didnt need them anymore. i'm 15 now and ive had alot of anxiety for about 1 year i would think everyone talks about me and just started staying home lost all my friends. now im 15 and started taking dexedrine to focus in school better because i noticed i couldnt learn.

so pretty much im wondering could i have something else? i feel like everyone looks at me like im a idiot even the teachers and when talking to someone well idont say much i cant keep a convo going for more then 60 seconds most times, i had a few moods where i would want to go smoke pot with friends but never follow threw with it because i am scared to get caught and have my parrents argue if my dad tries to kick me out my mom will argue with him so i dont, Or i just realize i dont got many friends beside 1 or 2 and not close friends then i get depressed feel like crying and think im a waste of life because all i do is sit inside and think about suicide, most times i dont want to kill myself because of the pain i'll cause my family. after i get sad i just go back to thinking everyone thinks im dumb and sitting in my house not talking to anyone.


some more feelings i get are

if i sit with an adult face to face i stare at something and not say anything, or feel dizzy.

Cant talk to anyone because im a boring person people say, and when i do i try to act 'cool'.

when teacher is talking i stare at my desk because i feel weird if i make eye contact.

when i get called on to say a answer or even say 'here' for attendance i swallow a few times having trouble and i take deep breaths.

i try to act cool so people will like me but its like most people forgot i exist.

when im explained something verbally 1 on 1 it seems most stuff goes right over my head and im afraid to ask again.


Before i was writing this i felt like crying because noone likes me and i feel like a waste, now i dont feel like crying or emotion for that matter

i hope this all makes sense because most of the time i dont express things well, Is it possible i had bi-polar or something else? have you had symptoms like this? thank you in advance for the replys, i just want some info from other people before i tell my mom and go to the doctor.

saturday
01-18-13, 05:32 PM
The depression componant could be a mood spectrum thing for sure. The other symptoms sound more anxiety related, maybe GAD or just a social anxiety.

Do you remember why they had you on Seroquel or how many mgs you were on?

Newtodexedrine
01-18-13, 07:12 PM
The depression componant could be a mood spectrum thing for sure. The other symptoms sound more anxiety related, maybe GAD or just a social anxiety.

Do you remember why they had you on Seroquel or how many mgs you were on?

I was on seoquel to calm me down i believe, and i took it to sleep, i think it was 50mg at night and 25mg in the morning i remember it always making me fall asleep in class

saturday
01-18-13, 07:23 PM
Ok, I was just wondering because at higher doses Seroquel is used to treat Bipolar.

I would tell your mom all of this stuff. It sounds like you have some other issues going on that need treatment.

Fuzzy12
01-19-13, 08:12 AM
Nothing in your OP screams out BIPOLAR to me but then I'm neither a professional nor do I know your entire history.

Do you have extreme mood swings? Do you have episodes, where you feel extremely good, euphoric, impulsive, over confident and much more active and energetic than usual?

It sounds more to me as if you've got social anxiety.

ImKitty
01-19-13, 12:41 PM
I don't think you have bipolar, you already said you were diagnosed with ADHD, you will find many people with the symptoms you described that are ADHD.

I was undiagnosed in high school, and had those same difficulties that you describe. I had a terrible time with eye contact, was always told to look up and be proud, I still do it and I am twenty years older than you.

It sounds like you are not managing your disorder, and could benefit from speaking with your family doc(and your parents) about it. You say you didn't need your ADHD meds anymore. I have read here that when it feels like your meds are not needed anymore, that is usually the optimum dose, because you are feeling like "yourself". ADHD doesn't always translate to adulthood I have read, but you are only 15, and not an adult, so it is reasonable that you have ADHD.

You say you are taking dexadrine but how are you getting it if you haven't been given it by your doctor? It may help with your focus, but there are other symptoms of ADHD that medications are designed to treat to help you function day to day.

I had anxiety too, so I know how isolating and debilitating it can be. It feels like yesterday, how awkward I felt in high school. You don't have to feel that way, because you already know the root of your difficulties, ADHD. Please let your mom know you would like to see your doctor again.

I hope you get some advice from your parents and doctor to help you through this, it breaks my heart to hear about kids struggling unnecessarily like I did.

starry
01-19-13, 09:28 PM
It doesn't sound like you are bi-polar. You don't have any of the symptoms other than being depressed.

Someone who is bi-polar goes through periods of time where they are either manic or depressive. So either they are incredibly focused and are hyper, happy, social, creative, sometimes loud, fast-talking, spontaneous, not thinking about consequences (low judgment skills) and many more symptoms. (other "up" symptoms). This is the mania phase.

The depressive phase has most of the following symptoms: changes in mood, feeling agile, depressed (often very severely, the darkest of the dark moods), bursts of anger/rage ranging from low to violent tendencies (depending on each person this can differ, meaning not everyone will experience this), lack of impulse control, anti-social behavior, wanting to be left alone and seeking solitude, cutting off contact with loved ones and avoiding social situations, staying in bed, crying, sad and other symptoms (other "down" symptoms).

The duration of each phase differs from person to person. While some people experience change a few times a year, some experience it much less and some people constantly cycle between both mania and depression. They could even be cycling every few minutes/ every minute (cycling: going from one mood into the other - cycling between two opposite moods/poles)

I've known and lived with 2 bi-polar people and they each had very different cycling. One would cycle back and forth every hour, sometimes every few minutes.

The other only a few times a year.

And I have many friends who are bi-polar. They never told me this, but I know they are, since I had to learn everything about this, having had 2 bi-polar ex's and can pick up on it fast.

Newtodexedrine
01-21-13, 04:42 PM
Thank you everyone for the reply's @fuzzy12 im not sure if they can be called episodes but i do feel like wanting to go get high and just be social like i was before and be friends with all the 'cool' people and an hour later i feel like crying because i dont do anything other then come home right after school. @imkitty i do get it from the doctor

ebullient
01-21-13, 10:39 PM
I don't really agree with what is being said in this forum. While it is not certain that you are bipolar, it is extremely important to take into account your age. You are a 15 year old male which a pretty prime age for emerging bipolar. For men, these types of things come out on average quite a bit earlier than they do for women. I am Bipolar I ultradian rapid cycling, mixed episodes with psychosis and delusions. I don't get to simply say I am schizoaffective. To be schizoaffective I would have to present much the same symptoms but have my bipolar ones be absent (also have the psychotic features be slightly worse on average). The DSM can be quite arbitrary, and while you might not techinically be bipolar now, I think there is a good shot you are in your way into something.

I have my first high mania after my depression starting at 16, I developed panic/agorophobia at 21 and delusions around 25 that all culminated together to an unlivable condition till I snapped at 26 into that first crazy high. I had visions, thought people were out to get me, did some pretty weird (awful) stuff. And yes, I had some pot to try to treat anxiety and pierced my nose - very uncharacteristic for me. I now know that I had been having delusions for a lot longer - on some level. Depression and anxiety, they are still mental illnesses, and in someway disconnect you from reality.
Depression is some serious stuff. Very very serious.

Because I'm mixed, even being a psychology student I was unable to figure out what was wrong with me because I tried to stick too closely to the DSM. I didn't understand I could be manic and depressed. I thought antidepressants just made me go crazy... I wasn't at my best of course. Anyway, I wasn't 'bipolar'. I was mixed hypomanic. So I was presenting as bipolar II which is how a lot of bipolars are classified untill that first big mania as my doctor calls it which he says can happen for women anytime from 20-60, usually mid to late twenties. He said about 20 for men.


So what I'm really saying is, are you DSM bipolar? Hm. I'll tell you what is familiar to me in the bipolar fashion, if it helps:
Your mood swinging. I don't know if that is an ADD/ADHD thing (Did I mention I was diagnosed ADHD before my first big mania?), however most bipolar people shift 3 times or less in a year. I'm different. I shift on a dime. And I think ADHD and Bipolar and coexist. God help you :). But I shift on a dime, swing about 1-6 times a day. This is quite rare, and most doctors don't super buy into it till they observe you for a while. Rapid cycling is 4 or more times a year with a definitive high and definitive low, the mood will supposedly last longer if you are bipolar... Again for me, that isn't the case. However, bipolar has a mind of it's own. ADHD is triggered by events more (so they say), whereas bipolar's moods largely come as they please and with out provocation. I'm not sure how true that is, but I do know that I have little will when it comes to my episodes. I am it's victim, and there is only so much I can do but learn to ride the wave. No amount of "calming down" or managing my emotions will change the feeling which is almost ethereal. I mean, self talk all that helps a ton, recognizing reality etc is so helpful, but it doesn't dissipate it like it would a normal mood.

Look at family history. Bipolar will be present-ish but less common. ADHD, if it's a toss up between them that is, will probably be more prevalent. Something I have heard. I have an uncle who is schizoaffective (diagnosed schizophrenic) and a severely - never treated it- bipolar aunt on my father's side. I also have a cousin who had it commit suicide a few years ago (age 30) and a few cousins I know have it.

Okay that being said. You are obviously uncomfortable talking to people. As someone who has had agorophobia and social anxiety, I get this -the worrying what people think of you paranoia. I also know what it's like to have people know you have a mental illness. It's terrifying, there is a stigma. It's not something to be ashamed of, but when you are figuring out yourself, going through meds etc yeesh. So, tell someone you trust i.e. your mother. Go to a psychiatrist.


Also, seroquel blows. I have never had a med I like less. I doubt you would need it at this point anyway unless you reaaaaaly can't sleep
the best meds I've had, and I know they're different for everyone are lithiium and wellbutrin. If you are worried you are bipolar be careful if you take an antidepressant without a mood stabilizer.If you do, it will make you nuts (good way to diagnose yourself though)

Sorry, I talk too much.
Psychiatrist. A really really good one - it can save you years of hell. (10 for me) Remember your age in this and follow your gut. Your paranoia, anxiety, impulse, shift in mood- sudden apathy after extreme uncalled for emotion and depression are all unnormal.

The depression alone would make me tell you to go to a psychiatrist. Years of hell.
Also it's normal to just have one or two good friends.

saturday
01-22-13, 11:25 AM
I've liked seroquel for the most part. I've had the fewest negative side effects from it and I've been on lithium, depakote, lamictal and a few others. Each person needs to find what works best for them and so I cetainly wouldnt discourage one med over another.

I do agree though that the OP shouldn't rule out a mood disorder. And its true that Bipolar is degenerative, or in other words can progress and worsen if left untreated. I would absolutely tell your mom and doc.

Fuzzy12
01-24-13, 06:01 AM
I don't really agree with what is being said in this forum. While it is not certain that you are bipolar, it is extremely important to take into account your age. You are a 15 year old male which a pretty prime age for emerging bipolar. For men, these types of things come out on average quite a bit earlier than they do for women. I am Bipolar I ultradian rapid cycling, mixed episodes with psychosis and delusions. I don't get to simply say I am schizoaffective. To be schizoaffective I would have to present much the same symptoms but have my bipolar ones be absent (also have the psychotic features be slightly worse on average). The DSM can be quite arbitrary, and while you might not techinically be bipolar now, I think there is a good shot you are in your way into something.

I have my first high mania after my depression starting at 16, I developed panic/agorophobia at 21 and delusions around 25 that all culminated together to an unlivable condition till I snapped at 26 into that first crazy high. I had visions, thought people were out to get me, did some pretty weird (awful) stuff. And yes, I had some pot to try to treat anxiety and pierced my nose - very uncharacteristic for me. I now know that I had been having delusions for a lot longer - on some level. Depression and anxiety, they are still mental illnesses, and in someway disconnect you from reality.
Depression is some serious stuff. Very very serious.

Because I'm mixed, even being a psychology student I was unable to figure out what was wrong with me because I tried to stick too closely to the DSM. I didn't understand I could be manic and depressed. I thought antidepressants just made me go crazy... I wasn't at my best of course. Anyway, I wasn't 'bipolar'. I was mixed hypomanic. So I was presenting as bipolar II which is how a lot of bipolars are classified untill that first big mania as my doctor calls it which he says can happen for women anytime from 20-60, usually mid to late twenties. He said about 20 for men.


So what I'm really saying is, are you DSM bipolar? Hm. I'll tell you what is familiar to me in the bipolar fashion, if it helps:
Your mood swinging. I don't know if that is an ADD/ADHD thing (Did I mention I was diagnosed ADHD before my first big mania?), however most bipolar people shift 3 times or less in a year. I'm different. I shift on a dime. And I think ADHD and Bipolar and coexist. God help you :). But I shift on a dime, swing about 1-6 times a day. This is quite rare, and most doctors don't super buy into it till they observe you for a while. Rapid cycling is 4 or more times a year with a definitive high and definitive low, the mood will supposedly last longer if you are bipolar... Again for me, that isn't the case. However, bipolar has a mind of it's own. ADHD is triggered by events more (so they say), whereas bipolar's moods largely come as they please and with out provocation. I'm not sure how true that is, but I do know that I have little will when it comes to my episodes. I am it's victim, and there is only so much I can do but learn to ride the wave. No amount of "calming down" or managing my emotions will change the feeling which is almost ethereal. I mean, self talk all that helps a ton, recognizing reality etc is so helpful, but it doesn't dissipate it like it would a normal mood.

Look at family history. Bipolar will be present-ish but less common. ADHD, if it's a toss up between them that is, will probably be more prevalent. Something I have heard. I have an uncle who is schizoaffective (diagnosed schizophrenic) and a severely - never treated it- bipolar aunt on my father's side. I also have a cousin who had it commit suicide a few years ago (age 30) and a few cousins I know have it.

Okay that being said. You are obviously uncomfortable talking to people. As someone who has had agorophobia and social anxiety, I get this -the worrying what people think of you paranoia. I also know what it's like to have people know you have a mental illness. It's terrifying, there is a stigma. It's not something to be ashamed of, but when you are figuring out yourself, going through meds etc yeesh. So, tell someone you trust i.e. your mother. Go to a psychiatrist.


Also, seroquel blows. I have never had a med I like less. I doubt you would need it at this point anyway unless you reaaaaaly can't sleep
the best meds I've had, and I know they're different for everyone are lithiium and wellbutrin. If you are worried you are bipolar be careful if you take an antidepressant without a mood stabilizer.If you do, it will make you nuts (good way to diagnose yourself though)

Sorry, I talk too much.
Psychiatrist. A really really good one - it can save you years of hell. (10 for me) Remember your age in this and follow your gut. Your paranoia, anxiety, impulse, shift in mood- sudden apathy after extreme uncalled for emotion and depression are all unnormal.

The depression alone would make me tell you to go to a psychiatrist. Years of hell.
Also it's normal to just have one or two good friends.

I'm diagnosed with bipolar II and I think I have ultradian mood cycling as well. My highs usually last 3-4 hours and then I crash. I have the longer, more constant mood episodes as well but I actually find the daily cycling much more upsetting and impairing. I asked my pdoc about it and she said that if you have bipolar, it's common for your mood to just be very unstable. I look at it as noise or little fluctuations. I wish I could draw a picture. If you imagine a curve with your moods on the y-axis, you can see peaks and valleys. But then if you inspect the curve more closely, you will see that it isn't a smooth line but zig zagged, noisy.

I've tried to find more info about ultradian cycling in the literature but there isn't that much. I can imagine that it's much more common than is acknowledged.

saturday
01-24-13, 01:03 PM
I've tried to find more info about ultradian cycling in the literature but there isn't that much. I can imagine that it's much more common than is acknowledged.

Ultradian cycling = a mixed episode. If you research using this term you will liekly find what you are looking for.

I personally dislike the usage of "ultradian cycling", its like the cool new word or something weird like that. But in reality its nothing new.