I believe that I have ADD though I am not diagnosed yet, but lately I have also been noticing a lot of OCD-like symptoms. My dad has OCD which is where I think I get these disorders from, and things he does I am also doing, and it's scaring me. Even as a child I remember thinking to myself "oh no, I am starting these things Dad does..I don't want to grow up and be in these bad habits like him" eventhough at the time I didn't know he had a disorder. It hasn't negatively impacted my life as a kid so much that I can't bear it, but I do annoying things like check the locks too much,worry about things that really don't matter. Its frusterating. A slight problem though...I know nothing about OCD. I know what it s like to live with someone with OCD but I don't know what it feels like inside. I know some people here are OCD, can you describe what life with OCD is like? Also, can it sorta develop as I get older? I know I have always done these things, but they are getting worse. Can I be developing OCD or can it be worsening as time goes on?? Thanks for all your help, im concerned about this!

Hi wheresmykeys

I had OCD traits going back as far as I can remember (3/4 years old). When I realised these were really pointless things to do I the grand scheme of things (it didn't seem like that at the time) I was able to reduce doing them greatly. When I was a kid I was able to work out it was pointless counting all the windows on every bus that went past. More recently I have been able to satisfy myself with the fact that I don't need to wash my hands every time they feel a little bit sticky - it was hard at first but I got used to it over time. Hopefully in the future I will be able to convince myself it's not necessary to check my email every minute. At the moment I am trying to ignore the anxiety not checking it causes because I know it has no real basis. I just observe the feeling of anxiety and think of it as an incorrect emotion my brain is throwing up. I will eventually learn that there will be not penalty for not checking and I won't get the anxiety - eventually! Well it works for me any how!!!

Good luck

Tony

I know what it feels like inside to me to have OCD. I only know how to explain it like this:
Here's my quirks -
While taking a shower, if I turn to the side, I MUST turn back the other way (unwind myself).
Setting mugs up in the cupboard all the handles have to be turned in the same direction.
While reading, if I come across a word like 'death' or 'cancer' or 'plane crash' or anything bad like that, I have to make sure I breath out on that word, even if my breathing pattern wasn't on the outake at the moment I came across the word - I have to pause on it and breathe out, so I don't 'suck it's meaning and essence in to me' and then have it happen to me or someone I love.
Those are the most blatant ones I can think of right now.
If I DON'T turn back around in the shower or set all the cup handles going the same way or breath in on a bad word I IMMEDIATELY feel DOOM. As if I have just changed my fate. That I have caused my life to take a turn in a bad direction. A worse direction than it already is. When I get that sudden rush of doom, it feels sickening, anxious, my stomach gets hard, my chest gets tight, and I feel fearful.
But-
I have been on Lexapro (an anti-anxiety med) for a few months now and it has pretty much taken away my need to do these things. I didn't need to work at it or even think about it, the Lexapro just magically made them go into hibernation.
I wasn't always this way. Mine developed I think in my teen years and worsened and grew over the years.
I can only speak for myself, but I think that I am so fearful of life and all the bad things that can happen, that I obsess over trying to keep it as it is, even if it's bad - it could always get worse. And the whole 'alternate realities' idea pops into my head and I don't want to make myself step out of this reality and into another that may be worse.
Must be our way of trying to get some control over our lives.
But again, meds can really help with OCD.

I have OCD as well, and it was identified about 13 years ago. Too bad the ADHD wasn't identified with it. Anyway, I have been on a few different medications and Zoloft was the one that really helped, but I switched to Paxil to see if it would work even better, it didn't, and going to back to Zoloft didn't achieve the same effect as the first run of it. I haven't seemed to find a good medication since, so it's been a number of years, with the exception of a brief run on Lexapro. I'm on Strattera alone right now and want to see how that affects my ADHD symptoms before I try an OCD med again. At least in my case, the OCD is mild, in that it doesn't paralyze me. It is a definite nuisance. I'm a checker and worrier. I check door locks, faucets, etc, but I am able to walk away after just a few runs of checking. What goes through my head is that if I don't do the checking, some great disaster will occur, e.g. my house will be flooded. But I'm able to stop the worry pretty quickly, however the cycle repeats itself with the next faucet/door, etc. And I'm also aware that the checking is excessive compared to ordinary, everyday "doublechecking" that people do. But even so, it just is so annoying to still have to do the checking anyway.
I do think the OCD is what got in the way of me recognizing the co-occurrence of ADHD. I just assumed my excess talking was the repetitive side of the OCD, and that my feelings of being overwhelmed were OCD related anxiety, and some of them probably are, but I somehow knew it didn't account for all of it. With the worrying end of OCD, I couldn't explain how I was so totally disorganized, as this disorganization just contributes to more worry for me. Well, now it's like I totally see why. Anyway-that's a little bit of what it's like, at least for me.

While taking a shower, if I turn to the side, I MUST turn back the other way (unwind myself). This made me think of how I, when I was younger, whenever I walked and turned to one side to look behind me always had to turn the other way too, otherwise it would be unfair to that side.

Oh my gosh! A lot of the things you described I do!!! I never even thought of some of these before. Like the turning around in a shower..I certainly don't feel like the world will come to an end if I don't, but I feel kinda tense and just not right until I turn the other way(I can't actually recall if I do that one exaclty, but I will use it as an example). Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man, this is opening my eyes. I honestly didn't realize that having these little quirks like insisting all things are turned the right way were not normal! Do you honestly mean most people(those with no OCD) don't do things like that?? How about this, does this sound OCD? MY best friend and I like to go for coffee a lot and I have the HARDEST time deciding what to have, evnethough I know I will probably be back there tomrorow and it really really doesn't matter what I have, if I feel I don't make the right choice I am uncomfortable and I can stand there FOREVER trying to decide. And then, until I drink it and feel that it was a good choice, I will still worry about it. And how about this little obsession - I can't stand having my room messy over christmas or my birthday and I make myself clean it so its perfect before each event..and everything has to ben turned the right way and set up just the way I like it. and how about I can't do my homework until the desk is clean and my bed is made, and I can't go to bed until everything is in its place, and I cna't blow out the candles until I'm JUST getting into bed, but first I have to put on my pyjamas, drink my tea, feed the fish and turn off the computer..all in a specific order. Oh, and I can't eat that candy cane on my desk until I wash the car..but then I don't want to eat it anyway because then it is gone. Ok, I will stop there. Does this soundl ike OCD??

MY best friend and I like to go for coffee a lot and I have the HARDEST time deciding what to have, evnethough I know I will probably be back there tomrorow and it really really doesn't matter what I have, if I feel I don't make the right choice I am uncomfortable and I can stand there FOREVER trying to decide. And then, until I drink it and feel that it was a good choice, I will still worry about it.
That sounds a lot like my indecision! But in my case, I think it might be ADD/ADHD related rather than OCD related. I don't know, I'm just very indecisive in general. Isn't that a pretty common trait among people with add/adhd?

If I say something that requires you to knock on wood...i.e
"Hey, I've never been in a car accident."
"Knock on wood."

Somewhere in my little mind, I have convinced myself that the only thing that will ward the bad event off is to really knock on wood...I experience a debilitating anxiety if there is no wood around, or if there's only particle board (that stuff a lot of Target furniture is made of)...

I used to go to sleep at night and end up knocking about 50 times before I felt like I could go off sleep...I started knocking even when there was nothing to knock for--whenever a bad thought came into my head, I would knock on wood.

I began to get callouses on my knuckles.

I go around the house twice to make sure the doors are locked at night. I'll even turn the lights on then off if my day was stressful enough for me not to be able to think clearly.

I have to wash my dishes a "special" way or else I feel like my world is crashing.

When I'm reading something about a terrible event I do the same thing...I have to remember to breathe in and out then I can go on...and if I don't then I forget to breathe for a bit...lovely times.

In the shower I have to do things the same way or I forget stuff...I know really bad but it's true...thats one of the major reasons I like to shower ALONE...:D

I have to have my cups in the right spot with all the handles the same way...

My clothes in my closet are all in color groups and if they aren't I can't figure out what to wear or I get freaked going into my closet with them outta color code!!

i could go on but yeah...the OCD is strong in me...I'm not on meds for it...and I didn't start to realize I had something "different" till about 5-6 years ago..but I've been this way along time..

oh yeah, and I HAVE to change my room around 2 times a month if not more or else I feel trapped in it....been like that since I was able to move my own bed and dresser.