Have you have been diagnosed or otherwise know that you have ADD - and have your actions or failure to take actions seriously damaged your life, happiness, and your relationships with others?

If this happened were before you knew about ADD, then you may treat yourself gently and strive to forgive yourself for those mistakes, though they might have been grievous. If you are STILL mucking around and not taking ADD seriously, then take heed from my experience (if you shuck this off like everything else - you will pay for it dearly).

I was not diagnosed until I was 58! I had had brilliant potential and many advantages, but performed way under my potential. I also did serious damage to personal relationships: friends, wife, and children. The usual boring list: I failed to establish a work and personal discipline, finish big tasks, treated personal relationships casually and without commitment. Going off on mind trips derailed everything.

Once diagnosed the standard medications worked only marginally. I was too far down and discouraged. My psychiatrist was very knowledgeable but was also intellectual and laid back,. I put serious effort on the back burner. Food, a newspaper, errant thoughts, the mania of the moment were all more important.

What I really needed was someone to bang his fist on the table, look me in the eye and yell at me:

"Are you satisfied with what's happening? How much progress have you made in the last year? Do you have goals? Are they important? How much effort are you really putting out to accomplish them? What percent of your waking hours is going into purposeful effort: 10%, 2%? What percent of your discretionary time are you going off on tangents? 50%, 75%, 95%?"

"Do you really care about your family? Do you have real friends who would go into the trenches for you?" If not, what are you doing to BE a friend so that others will commit to you?"

If I showed humility, then my counselor would have said. "OK, now I am going to give you assignments. I don't expect perfection, but I expect systematic improvement. If you fail, I want you to write an essay to me on why you failed. I also expect you to be on time. Create 4 failsafe reminders if you need to. Make a poster 4 feet high if you need it. If I see effort, I will go all out to help you. If I don't after a month then I will stop seeing you. You have too much ability for me to need the frustration of seeing no progress because of ingrained self-destructive habits of giving in to impulse. "

Well, I didn't have that kind of miracle counselor. I worked hard on myself with self-help programs and did have a technically helpful counselor for a while till he gave up on me. I made progress but allowed modest success to go to my head and allow me to go into messianic crusades and impulsive actions. I failed to address problems squarely, missed deadlines again and again, got way overcommitted and finally committed an impulsive blunder that terminated a job that I loved and was invested in.

Now I realize that a Higher Power, I'll call him God, has done me a favor. He sent plenty of help my way, but I was too pigheaded to grasp it. Now He allowed my actions to send an unmistakeable message, which finally erased the notion that I could get out of every scrape by creativity.

If you are ambitious and have lots of interests you will find out that ADD's effects may increase with time - if not dealt with early. Projects, concerns, complications, and interests can multiply with age in ADHDs, while the physical energy needed to deal with them decline. So lapses and failures increase in number and severity. And you will realize time is running out on you and you no longer have most of your life to correct things.

Be warned - and profit! Life can be marvelous for the ADD who takes ADHD seriously and embarks on a commited program of self improvement rather than just expecting pills to do it all.

Because of your creativity and ADHD - given gifts, your operational skills - though hard won - will pay much bigger dividends than would be true for the ordinary earth person.

Go to it!

Your old warrior buddy.

Dear Old Warrior

Wisdom from a tried and true sage.

Thank you for the wake up call. I needed it.

Jon

Originally posted by nnamelet
Have you have been diagnosed or otherwise know that you have ADD - and have your actions or failure to take actions seriously damaged your life, happiness, and your relationships with others?

If this happened were before you knew about ADD, then you may treat yourself gently and strive to forgive yourself for those mistakes, though they might have been grievous. If you are STILL mucking around and not taking ADD seriously, then take heed from my experience (if you shuck this off like everything else - you will pay for it dearly).

I was not diagnosed until I was 58! I had had brilliant potential and many advantages, but performed way under my potential. I also did serious damage to personal relationships: friends, wife, and children. The usual boring list: I failed to establish a work and personal discipline, finish big tasks, treated personal relationships casually and without commitment. Going off on mind trips derailed everything.

I put serious effort on the back burner. Food, a newspaper, errant thoughts, the mania of the moment were all more important.

What I really needed was someone to bang his fist on the table, look me in the eye and yell at me:

"Are you satisfied with what's happening? How much progress have you made in the last year? Do you have goals?
"Do you really care about your family? Do you have real friends who would go into the trenches for you?" If not, what are you doing to BE a friend so that others will commit to you?"

If I showed humility, then my counselor would have said. "OK, now I am going to give you assignments. I don't expect perfection, but I expect systematic improvement.

If I don't after a month then I will stop seeing you. You have too much ability for me to need the frustration of seeing no progress because of ingrained self-destructive habits of giving in to impulse. "

Well, I didn't have that kind of miracle counselor. I worked hard on myself with self-help programs and did have a technically helpful counselor for a while till he gave up on me.

I made progress but allowed modest success to go to my head and allow me to go into messianic crusades and impulsive actions. I failed to address problems squarely, missed deadlines again and again, got way overcommitted and finally committed an impulsive blunder that terminated a job that I loved and was invested in.

Now I realize that a Higher Power, I'll call him God, has done me a favor. He sent plenty of help my way, but I was too pigheaded to grasp it. Now He allowed my actions to send an unmistakeable message, which finally erased the notion that I could get out of every scrape by creativity.



Be warned - and profit! Life can
Go to it!

Your old warrior buddy.



I left the lines of yours I LOVED and related to MOST....I used to sit in on lots of AA meetings (I'm in alanon) and this is the kind of stuff I used to hear at those meetings and these were the types of words that kept alcoholics sober...and my brother as well.....I agree with every word of yours...which is why I moved my entire life to Calif a year and a half ago to pursue my dreams....and now I am looking for a job to realize them....I won't under any circumstances let my ADD stand in my way...and at the same time I will let the creative and empathetic and smart me thrive....Thanks for your great message....:) Incidentally, I'm in my 40's...and I don't believe it's ever too late for anyone....

Old Warrior, Thanks for your words of wisdom. The part that scared me what you spoke of was:

?"If you are ambitious and have lots of interests you will find out that ADD's effects may increase with time - if not dealt with early. Projects, concerns, complications, and interests can multiply with age in ADHDs, while the physical energy needed to deal with them decline."

I am 35 and wonder what it will be like when I am 45 or so? I will just have to keep an eye on things. I am self-diagnosed and currently do not take any medication other than St. John's Wort. I used to take prozac but switched to St. John's Wort after me and my wife did not like how Prozac affected me. I totally fit a ADD diagnosis, but am not officially diagnosed with it.

I will agree to the physical aspect as to not having the energy to do what you want to do

I myself dont feel any diferent than I did 10 or 15 years ago with the exception of the fact that I am very aware of my ADD and that I take very carful steps to avoid the problems it has caused me in the past

I also agree that had I got a grip on it when I was much younger I could have made an extreame ( and I emphisize ) extreame difference in the way my life has turned out

But untill they put me in a box I'll never be to old to try try again

Everytime I fail it makes me stronger

Good show!

Thanks, I needed that wake up call- I've been extremely compulsive lately, playing (stupid!) video games for hours, not attending to work, internet addiction, etc. I do feel my clock ticking, and the things I haven't accomplished pile just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Any suggestions for how to motivate yourself to break our tangental interests? And keep on track? How is it that you do that? Has frustration at not being further along in life (this applies to me, and it sounds like you too, sorry if that offends, I'm trying to say this as succinctly as possible so I can get back to work) just reached such a critical mass that it becomes easier to see what is truly important?

Sometimes timers on my watch work for me. Other times, I don't log onto the Internet until I get some things accomplished...Sometimes I have good intentions, but they amount to nothing.

Force: I love your question: may I repeat? "Has frustration at not being further along in life just reached such a critical mass that it becomes easier to see what is truly important?"

I think the key words there are "critical mass".....it's sort of like hitting a bottom....it gets to be SOOOO bad that something has to be done....a change has to be made....or we um....go insane or something????? Who knows???????:( I'm just brainstorming with your enlightening question.....

James thanks....not log into the internet until some things are done....:)

It is easier said than done at work where I have a high speed always on connection that is instantly on by just opening Internet Explorer. No waiting for a modem to dial up....it is just on in 15 seconds!!!! It was hard today!

yeah, I had the best of intentions, but 2 hours ago when I had to start up the comp to make notes pertaining to a recent traffic accident, and my dsl was just waiting there too... sigh. I don't want to live this way, yoyoing back and forth between productivity and strange behavior...

Oh yuck... please don't make me read this...it's too much like ME...(being described) :(

Force: sometimes you have SUCH a creative way with words.....:) even if they are describing disturbing things such as this.....

Ok Ill solve the problem for you all

If you dont get you act together and your booty in gear I'm going to take away your HIGH SPEED CONNECTION and force you all to go back to a 300 baud modem

Ill bet some of you cant even comprehend what a 300 baud modem would be like

I can- mom had a 2800 baud modem YEARS ago that was slow as molasses- and that was just transferring text. The computer, which cost about $10,000 at the time, was a 5mhz cpu with- hold on- 2 WHOLE MEGS OF RAM! WOOHOO! LOOKOUT! And she even upgraded the cpu to a 25 mhz!

It used 5 1/2 inch floppy disks that would hold I think 22 characters. So for instance, to store the bible would require something like 46 billion sextillion of these floppys. And they were plenty stable too, as long as you didn't bend them, subject them to heat, cold, moisture, sunlight, moonlight, or oxygen, why, they'd last a matter of months.

The monitor was I think like 10 inches or something ridiculous like that, and monochrome. I've learned from that never to buy brand new tech.

It made me happy when my cousin, who's a certifiable genius, bought windows 2000, because I got to ask him why he'd want to be a beta tester. He was all proud of having scored a copy of 2000 so quickly, and told me proudly that this was an alpha, not a beta. I raised my eyebrow and asked what exactly was different about this windows release that would lead him to expect that there would not be several patch releases in the months to come...

I can be such a butt sometimes.

Grin so then you can appreciate your high speed connection eh

get to work or the connection will magicly degrade to a 300 baud

I guess, maybe it would be good if we could channel our interests into some money making veture. But then we would have to keep records.......after a while we would change interests so we would have to revamp our product lines.....plus then we would have to keep records, etc. I will quit while I am behind. NEED....MORE.....COFFEE...Starbucks here I come!

James: Could you please get me an iced decaf while you're there???:) With milk and sweet and low??? Thanks...have a great day....:)

Next Time you have a ICE CAPACHINO

ask them to make it with 3/4 chocolate milk

mmmmm mmmmmm good

i have to admit gary that does sound pretty good, a frapachino made with chocolate milk:)

good is an understatment my friend

deliousious and fattening but worth it

Actually Garry since Dan and I became friends, we've shared one or two of these coffee delights and fattening is right. I swear we might as well just eat a hot fudge sundae or something. Problaby same calories:) But yup, those calories are worth it...you're right:)

Great posting!

I'm going to create a link to it and post it on our CHADD Chapter blog. Excellent advice for any man or woman.

I was diagnosed last fall (officially) at the age of 43. At the insistence of a friend I attended the CHADD conference in Florida... found myself crying at the end of it during Tom Brown's closing remarks. Lots of grief and wasted opportunities to let go of.

As for the future, I am hopeful. If there's anyone out there who has similarly struggled and overcome (compensated, adjusted, etc.) for their ADD to live a more successful HAPPIER life- I'd love to hear from you. In particular, what is that you did that made (makes!) the difference?

Peter

Yes peter it was a great posting

I also put a link on my web page so I wouldnt't loose track of it and that I could share it with others

Nnamelet...

You're hitting hard and home here.

I have tears in my eyes.

dammit :(

I have a son.

He walks steps i took in school. The difference? He is getting A's because that is how smart he is and we have supported in structure some of the things i did not have but needed from the outside when i was a kid.

But i lament that he does not heed my warnings. I can tell him that he needs to own his responsibility to discover what he neeeds to succeed, and he shrugs it off.

I know many things i need, and i cannot seem to arrange for them in my own life.

i don't need a wake up call, I'm awake. I need external structure, and companionship and team work, and variety, and flexibility and latitude, and reminders, not nags, etc., and i have not figured out how to get my own pit crew of support, when others have pit crews, or my staff of support when senators have staffs, or... and quite simply without what is needed there is no success.

innocentat50's initial post (and subsequent responses) has been moved to the Introductions and Stories section...

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2319

Thanks Smooch & Wheel :)

Originally posted by Wheel1975


I know many things i need, and i cannot seem to arrange for them in my own life.

i don't need a wake up call, I'm awake. I need external structure, and companionship and team work, and variety, and flexibility and latitude, and reminders, not nags, etc., and i have not figured out how to get my own pit crew of support, when others have pit crews, or my staff of support when senators have staffs, or... and quite simply without what is needed there is no success.

Isn't THIS the truth? And I agree. I probably don't need a wake-up call either. I guess as I read your post, I realize I got plenty of them in various and sundry forms.....over and over...

It's the things you mention that come AFTER the wake up call that matter..and how to get them...and arrange for them....or get them arranged....as you say....

Hi,
I do not know how these types of forums/threads work and I do not know if I am still in the thread that I first introduced myself. However, I just noticed that smooch, whoever this is, moved the thread. I do not know where to or what this means, but the reason I am writing now is that smooch has several quotes at the end of his/her paragraphs and I have an issue with one of them. It is the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that says "nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission". This quote is wrong. totally wrong. Eleanor Roosevelt did not know what she was talking about when and if she said that. Have you ever considered what happens when little children are made to feel inferior? Do little children even have the capacity to say no, that's not true, when someone tells them or treats them like inferior? I as a child believed my mother 100% in everything she said, and she told me many times every day that my peers were better than I was and that I was killing her. I believed all of that and it did make me feel inferior to this day. It was only 2 days ago that I realized that when she said all of these things that I had straight A's in school, played better piano than ALL of my classmates, and could not possibly have been inferior. Yet, it did not take my permission to feel inferior because I was dependent and unable to make up my own mind. I believe that this is most of my problem: for 50 years I felt inferior and never stood up for myself. Therefore whatever came along bowled me right over and I often just stepped back when someone else wanted something that belonged to me. Anyway, my experience may apply to many other people who for whatever reason cannot stand up to whoever makes them feel inferior. Just my own 2cents worth.

Norbert,

If you're looking for where your post thread was moved to, please click the following link:
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2319
You post was moved to the "Introductions" part of the Forum.

Originally posted by innocentat50
....I just noticed that smooch, whoever this is, moved the thread. I do not know where to or what this means, ...

Greetings, Norbert :)

Smooch here. I recently became the Moderator of the ADDults section of ADD Forums. This means that it is my responsibility to monitor the threads (and their respective posts) to be certain that Members are following the guidelines to which they agreed upon joining the Forums.

This responsibility also allows me to move threads (or certain posts from those threads) from the ADDults section to other sections if I feel they should be a topic/thread unto themselves, if they belong in another section due to their subject content, or if separating them from their original "start" and moving them somewhere else would give the Member's message more "visability," etc.

These last two reasons are why I chose to move your initial post (and the subsequent responses) to the section created for the purpose of introducing new Members: "Introductions & Stories." You were both introducing yourself to and asking for help and support from the Forums Members, but you were also somewhat "buried" in another thread.

As I am still a bit new to all this Forums stuff, and especially the Moderating part, I understand your annoyance and sincerely apologize for causing you any frustration when you came looking for your first posts. I wanted to bring you to the "front" and be certain the Members would see your posts.

Originally posted by innocentat50
....but the reason I am writing now is that smooch has several quotes at the end of his/her paragraphs and I have an issue with one of them. It is the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that says "nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission". This quote is wrong. totally wrong. Eleanor Roosevelt did not know what she was talking about when and if she said that. Have you ever considered what happens when little children are made to feel inferior? .....

To continue, I acknowledge your position regarding the quote I have chosen to include in my signature. I completely understand and agree with children not exactly having the "option" to give someone permission to make them feel inferior. There is another thread in this section that you might find interesting and somewhat related to your sentiments: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2134
The title of this thread is "not had an abusive childhood?"

I believe Ms. Roosevelt aimed this statement at adults. I chose to include this quote in my signature because it has personal meaning for me. Perhaps others who see it receive some benefit from its message, or maybe they don't.

Thank you for your comments on it, though. :) We know a little bit more about you, and I'm sure you'll find more Members who share similar painful memories.

That's the beauty of these Forums: we're one big family of support, understanding, acceptance, ...yet we also can air our differences in opinion, as long as we follow the Forum Guidelines.

Welcome to the fam, man!

PS--I'm a 32 year-old female and was diagnosed with ADD Inattentive Type at the age of 28.

Originally posted by innocentat50
Hi,
...

I do not know where to or what this means, but the reason I am writing now is that smooch has several quotes at the end of his/her paragraphs and I have an issue with one of them. It is the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that says "nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission". This quote is wrong. totally wrong.
...
It was only 2 days ago that I realized that when she said all of these things that I had straight A's in school, played better piano than ALL of my classmates, and could not possibly have been inferior.

Yet, ... feel inferior because I was dependent and unable to make up my own mind.

I felt inferior and never stood up for myself.

Therefore whatever came along bowled me right over and I often just stepped back when someone else wanted something that belonged to me.

Anyway, my experience may apply to many other people who for whatever reason cannot stand up to whoever makes them feel inferior.

Just my own 2cents worth.

Dear Innocentat50,

welcome! So far as i can tell you are doing fine with the threads.

(They had me so confused i went away for months before I came back and got the hang of it. You are doing great!)

I'd like to propose that you are both right.

I think the difference is what people call symantics but may more accurately be point of view.

Children are in a particularly vulnerable position. Even if you could find a self -assured child who couldn't be made to feel inferior by a parent, the existance of that individual would not prove the point for all children, or even any others.

But at the same time, your recent revelations of the value of standing up for ourself are, as far as I can tell correct! And when you do hold the line and stand up for yourself, others can berate you, but you may be able to maintain your own self impression by doing what i used to hear as "considering the source!" That just meant if a jerk said it, give it no weight.

So my proposal is that what you have discovered about standing up for yourself, and the power and value of that, is what the quote is trying to point out as well. but without the detail that you provided in your discussion, it can easily be taken to mean things that are less than likely to be true.

does that make sense or seem like I played too many word games as a kid?

Any way, glad to read that you are in this space of self re-discovery.

Many of us have been there a few times, and speaking only for myself, it is a time of liberation and of grief. I try not to let the one get me down to much or the other blind me to the practicalities of life.

Dear David,
the point I was trying to make when I mentioned that children do not have a"choice" goes beyond the respective child. What a child learns is often forgotten from consciense thought before the child becomes an adult, but assumed as being universally true by the subconscience for the rest of the person's life unless you go through something like TAW and discover the underlying truth by accident as you write your morning pages.
May you meet your responsibilities with love, creativity, and insight

Dear Warrior,

That was one of the most compelling posts I have ever read.It was delivered eloquently but still kicks you in the gut at the same time;as it is clearly straight from the heart.

When I spent a week with ADHD researcher Russell Barkley in Aug, the first thing he said to the audience, which was made up of all professionals, was that the most important thing he would like for us to take back to our respective communities at large was for the public to realize just how devastatng a disorder ADHD is. He then compared it to Bipolar in terms of the need to take medication for the rest of your life and made a similiar analogy to the diabetics need to take insulin.Keep in mind that that was the ONLY thing he was insinuating and he was NOT trying to make any other comparisons.I've seen people get sidetracked by that statement and miss the point, so I always try and preface those remarks. It's a serious disorder that requires taking meds for the rest of your life was his one and only point there. When you come to understand the chemical imbalance that is ADHD and the impact on the brain, it becomes obvious why that is true.

I hope things get better for you .There's no accounting for the human spirit and you are obviously a fighter.Therefore, the name "warrior" fits you well.Take care and thank you for the post.It was inspiring.

Dear Mctavish23,
I have been diagnosed with ADD ten years ago and diabetes about 7 years ago. On top of that I was told that I have Bipolar 2. Except for one job that I had for more than 6 years all of my jobs had a longevity of less than 3 years. My main problems are the recurring depression that sometimes impairs my movement and sometimes you may find me rolled up in the back of a closet crying for no apparent reason at all, and my inability to keep myself focused when I need to and not focused when I don't need to. ADD is really an attention inconsistency disorder. For some people it is not even a disorder but rather a benefit, depending on what profession you have. For example, while Freddy Prince was alive he was hyper most of the time, on a bi-polar high (ADD and bipolar was recently found to go to gether, reason still unknown) and that was what made his career, and another example is Tom Hartmann who is very happy with his ADD and wrote books about it. That inconsistency is what drives me now to re-evaluate my profession and switch from what I was doing for 32 years to something new. Recent aptitude and interest tests showed that I should be looking in the direction of creative art and that is what brought me to read The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. Julia was married to Martin Scorsese and, in her own words "produced 3 movies and one daughter" with him. Anyway, I read and work through her book now and hope to come up with an answer that fits my aptitude and can be accomplished with ADD.
May you meet your responsibilities with love, creativity, and insight.

Sometimes, Norbert, it is obvoius in this life, that regardless of how the facts turn out, someone's walk of their life is obviously good.

It sounds like you are making course corrections for yourself that will make you the master of your eventual destiny, to your own benefit and that of others as well.

I applaud the "good fight" you are having to wage. Be merciful to what you have been as you chose a different path for your own future. It is what has gotten you to where you could make these choices about these things. It has given you the opportunity to discover and act with courage.

Good for you! -- David

Originally posted by mctavish23
Dear Warrior,


When I spent a week with ADHD researcher Russell Barkley in Aug,


Dear Mr mctavish23

Not havening a way with words that some of the people with ADD seem to have I am usually quite blunt with what I have to say but I will apologies first for my bluntness and now I will continue with my post.

I find your posts to be quite informative in many ways but I also find your continual, Name Dropping " as I call it to be very annoying.

Its wonderful that you have had the opportunity to spend so much of your time with many of these so called important people that you keep referencing, but to myself in particular being that I don't know these particular people or have ever heard of them each time you do this "Name Dropping" it diminishes what you might be trying to say in your post!!

Most of us here are just plain old ordinary folk, who get up each day and try to eak out an existence in a Linear Thinking World. I myself really have a problem with understanding, a lot of what you are trying to say due to the continual reference to people I don't know and the use of "BIG WORDS" that I find possibly unnecessary.

In your first post you claimed that "you wished to try and help us " and if that is your possible reason for being here then I commend you for it and take the time to say, "THANK YOU"

But my opinion for what it is worth, would be that if you could use some of your knowledge and intellect to possibly tone your use of the English language down to a level that I myself and possibly others here at the forums could understand, then maybe some of the stuff your trying to say might make more sense, to me anyway.

This I do not consider to be a criticism of you, but just a plain old BLUNT down to earth, "request" to you to ask you to speak in a dialog of plain old "STREET English".

There is a post on here somewhere about reading and posting in short concise paragraphs which makes it easier for ADDers to understand.

If I have to take the time to look up the meaning of all the "BIG WORDS" , by the time I'm done I have forgotten "What The Post Was Supposed To Be About"



Once again I would like to apologies for my BLUNTNESS and I would also like to state that this is "MY OPINION" and I open myself up to any criticism and the wrath of anyone who would like to chastise me for being me and speaking my mind.



Thank you
Garry

This is also an academic problem.

In academia it seems that no thought is considered valid unless you can catch someone else having said it previously.

Some times all the "bowing" to the past makes it hard to tell what the current point is.

I might understadn that I should be on the same pitard for using big words in my posts. Even then, I too often feel i am not being as accurate to what I wish to say as i would wish to be.

I'm not sure of a solution.

I'm willing to continue being part of the discussion though...

pe·tard (p?-tärd?)*Pronunciation Key
n.

1. A small bell-shaped bomb used to breach a gate or wall.
2. A loud firecracker.


[French pétard, from Old French, from peter, to break wind, from pet, a breaking of wind, from Latin p?ditum, from neuter past participle of p?dere, to break wind. See pezd- in Indo-European Roots.]

Word History: The French used pétard, “a loud discharge of intestinal gas,” for a kind of infernal engine for blasting through the gates of a city. “To be hoist by one's own petard,” a now proverbial phrase apparently originating with Shakespeare's Hamlet (around 1604) not long after the word entered English (around 1598), means “to blow oneself up with one's own bomb, be undone by one's own devices.” The French noun pet, “fart,” developed regularly from the Latin noun p?ditum, from the Indo-European root *pezd-, “fart.”

Now see... I didn't know all that about petard, and i didn't spell it right... oh well.

Can vulnerablitiy and humilty make up for obscurity? probably not.

But might it make it easier to endure?

Just a quick comment to remind all of you that if you have a personal suggestion or criticism to make of an individual, that is not specific to a thread, you are encouraged to make use of the PM (Private Message) function at the ADD Forums.

Having known mctavish for quite some time, I can assure you that he has nothing but the best of intentions for posting in here, joined at my suggestion, and would certainly only mention someone's name if it was associated with particular material he was referencing, gave credit for a quote, or was relating a story.

Russell Barkley is one of the top leading researchers in ADHD, and I for one am thrilled that mctavish got to meet him, and listen to him, as it can only benefit us in the end.

I'm glad that people feel comfortable posting their honest opinions in this forum...that's important. I also would ask that each of you show the same patience, tolerance and understanding of others that you would like shown to yourselves.

My private message box is open to all who wish to contact me.

Originally posted by BIG
Just a quick comment to remind all of you that if you have a personal suggestion or criticism to make of an individual, that is not specific to a thread, you are encouraged to make use of the PM (Private Message) function at the ADD Forums.

...

I'm glad that people feel comfortable posting their honest opinions in this forum...that's important. I also would ask that each of you show the same patience, tolerance and understanding of others that you would like shown to yourselves.



I will take your point, but that may not deal with an issue that is bigger than an individual.

Even if there is an encyclopedia of information documented, I think Garry's point is that in a "down to earth" environment, composing posts in language that is not 18th Grade in structure, form and culture, might be an important thing to do.

Hospitals have found that the patient information needs to be written in 6th grade english. The reasons are many, but include:

Not everyone is a college graduate, nor do they speak english as their first langauge. Under stress and in unfamiliar technical ground, the effective reading level of everyone drops, sometimes a lot. When dealing with emotional issues this is all the more true.

Even Culturally, citing sources is a foreign practice. For those who do it. it is a sign of respect, maybe even a requirement. But for those with attentional and emotional issues, education al or language issues, all that citation stuff just burries the point.

I don't think Garry was asking anyone note to post. I don't think Garry was asking anyone not to share. I don't think Garry was asking anyone not to use what they knew.

I think Garry was asking that the family tree of the idea, all the way back to Adam, was not really part of the idea, and could the ideas please be presented to stand or fall on their own, without embedded "authoritative distraction or support."

In all fairness, in the most formal papers footnotes are used to the same purpose... to avoid hiding the idea, while separately giving recognition and heraldry and perhaps even the ability to find out more. Separately rather than embedded is probably the solution.

For those who cannot resist making mention of the source of their information, it would be perhaps better to list the sources after the points have been made, rather than embedding them.

I hope i have not inappropriately spoken for anyone.

And what are we going to do about all my syllables! GeezE!

Hey, this guy (me [I]) is a wrok in progress. {we hope!}

Originally posted by mctavish23
Dear Warrior,

That was one of the most compelling posts I have ever read.It was delivered eloquently but still kicks you in the gut at the same time;as it is clearly straight from the heart.

1) realize just how devastatng a disorder ADHD is.

2) compared it to Bipolar in terms of the need to take medication for the rest of your life and made a similiar analogy to the diabetics need to take insulin.

It's a serious disorder that requires taking meds for the rest of your life

3) Barkley is sometimes misunderstood about this.


I hope things get better for you .There's no accounting for the human spirit and you are obviously a fighter. Therefore, the name "warrior" fits you well. Take care and thank you for the post.

It was inspiring.

[mct]

Footnotes:

1) When I spent a week with ADHD researcher Russell Barkley in Aug, the first thing he said to the audience, which was made up of all professionals, was that the most important thing he would like for us to take back to our respective communities at large was for the public to

2)He then ... was his one and only point there.

3) Keep in mind that that was the ONLY thing he was insinuating and he was NOT trying to make any other comparisons.

I've seen people get sidetracked by that statement and miss the point, so I always try and preface those remarks.

When you come to understand the chemical imbalance that is ADHD and the impact on the brain, it becomes obvious why that is true.



So, Garry, is the edited version better? or Worse?

Also, i couldn't help commenting on the content, from an assumptions point of view... below... :)


[editors note: just because unbalancing chemicals (with drugs) may produce a benefit OR because an imbalance of chemicals is present, does not mean that the cause of the difficulty is the imbalance.

STRESS can unbalance chemicals, as can brain structure differences, that each then have other effects.

In such a case not taking the time to address STRESS becomes an overly local analysis.

Symptomatic treaments may constipate the problem, but certainly not SOLVE it.]

Originally posted by mctavish23
Keep in mind that that was the ONLY thing he was insinuating and he was NOT trying to make any other comparisons.

might you have meant more nearly?:

Keep in mind that that was the ONLY thing he was stating and he was NOT trying to insinuate or make any other comparisons.


The placement of the negative makes all the difference, in my view.

I'm still trying to listen closely, and I am easily thrown off by things that don't seem to line up straight.

thanks for your pateince with my literalisms.

I appreciate what you posted there Big and I also

Russell Barkley is one of the top leading researchers in ADHD, and I for one am thrilled that mctavish got to meet him, and listen to him, as it can only benefit us in the end.


am thrilled that mctavish got to meet him.

I met Timothy Leary at a party in Toronto once, but dont feel the need to addvertise it over and over.

I thought long and hard about that post and if there is one thing that the ADDforums has taught me is that there are more people out there like myself (ADDers)

and if I felt this way then maybee other people do also and aren't quite as blunt and bold as I am to state how They feel.

I spoke for myself and invited the critisum and wrath of anyone who wished to expell upon me for my oppinin

I appologised in advance and at the end and I sent mctavise a private message to alert him to the post

What I said " Was meant to be "In The OPEN" and was not meant as critisum to mctavish but more to say "

"I like to hear what you have to say Man but could you speak in plain English so I can understand you"

The reply I got from mctavish said to me that he heard and understood what I was saying and he wasn't offended

Wheel seems to have said what I am trying to say in his reply to my post.

Garry

Innocent at 50,

I was struck by what you said and hope things get better for you and your family. I believe that we all ultimately gravitate towards a "working niche" in terms of what we end up doing. While that may not realistically happen to everyone, we all have our own unique talents and abilities.The hope would be that we find our "match", so that we enjoy our work more.Sometimes that also requires us to take risks and change careers.I applaud you for the courage to try and live your dream.Good luck.

Garry,

Could we identify diplomacy,

as the ability to leave some things unsaid, and the ability to selectively and indirectly say others,

as perhaps a hallmark deficit in ADHD?

Always Direct Hardly Diplomatic?

2: subtly skillful handling of a situation [syn: delicacy, discreetness, finesse]

Is there anything subtle about ADHD?

McT,

Excellent recovery of the thread!

Beautiful, short, self-confident (no external references) post!

Great CONTENT!

Innocent at 50...

"You go girl!"

(no disrespect intended!)

Gary,

I loved the Timothy Leary thing.If this was a forum for old, ex-hippie acid droppers,then I'd want to know all about that meeting.But it's not.This is an ADHD forum, I'm an adult ADHD/psychologist and he's an world renowned ADHD expert.The connection with the forum is clear cut and across the board.
Like I said earlier, I'm trying.We're cool.Take care.

Originally posted by Wheel1975
Garry,

Could we identify diplomacy,

as the ability to leave some things unsaid, and the ability to selectively and indirectly say others,

as perhaps a hallmark deficit in ADHD?

Always Direct Hardly Diplomatic?


http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1225#top
Wheel Id like to invite you to enter that into this thread as I have been looking for something that identifies ADHD as something other than Atention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder

I think you have a good one there

Id love to tell you about it mct but im afraid it is nothing more than a memory of a party that I know I was at as I was with a friend who also remebers being there , but alas the memory gets lost in a swirl of color and halucinations that make ADD look like a childs game

Grin

Those were the days my friend
We thought they would never end

??????????????????????????????????????????????
mct

If you have time Id love to hear what you have to say regarding these topics
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does ADD exist

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1341
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How Many Stages of ADD are There

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1857
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok I need everybodys help

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1225
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Old Warrior, thank you for your insight! I was recently diagnosed with ADD, have been on Adderall since July. If I'd read what you'd written prior to the meds (and a great therapist) I would've blown it off like I've done with so many other things in my life.

Now that I know what the problem is, I can't let it derail me anymore. I've spent way, way too much time wasting & not being the "me" that I am, rather than what I wished I was or thought I could be (if that makes sense). And the age thing (I'm 48) is sobering...if I live another 48 years I'm not sure I could get finished with all the stuff floating in my head. So I'm working on the focus & taking small steps....day at a time, right?

I'm a bit late to this conversation (story of my life) but it's good to hear that others struggle with the same things I do. I'm 49, have two kids with ADD, and just this year realized where they got it from. All my life I have wandered like a lost soul, depressed most of the time. I've never held a job more than 2.5 years at a time. It took me almost 20 years to finish a BA in college. I still look back on all I wanted to be, and could have been, and get depressed all over again. The thought of all the opportunities I had and will never have again...well, let's not go there. I'm not currently on any meds--I wanted strattera, but my MD doesn't know anything about it and won't prescribe it, so I'm reduced to snitching my kids' Adderal from time to time.

I hope you're right about a nice future, because I don't see one for me.

Hey Stranger, Don't feel bad. I'm on the late wagon too. I just found the site yesterday. But it is post like this that have kept me coming back to read anything old and new. Hang in there.

Bullitt78

Hey stranger and bullitt

My name is Garry and you will find that I have a very positive view about ADD

This is becuse only about a year ago is when I was able to accept NOT that I HAVE ADD

I Do Not Have A Disease

I Do Not Have ADD

I Am ADD and proud of it

Yea been there done that on all the lost oppertunities and stupid screw ups in my life

and Guess What

Theres nothing I can do abou them

Except to Learn from them

I look at the positive traits of ADD and foucus on that as opposed to dwelling on the negative

Check the link at the bottom of my post for some good information

Touché Old ADD Warrior! Succinct, but powerful. A nicely delivered slap to the right cheek. Being of the mind that subltely, innuendo and nicety just don't work for most ADDers, I myself am as abrasive as a Brillo pad, as stinging as See Breeze slapped onto to a freshly shaved mug.

Thank you for your passion and bluntness. I coudn't agree with you more. I'm 40 and my life parallels the description you gave above. I'd give the same advice. Assess your individual situations and take bold action. Time waits for no man (or woman) with ADD. For us, we need to take bigger, bolder life-changing steps to break us out of our destruction routines... and non-routines.

One of my favorite quotes, and one which I thought of after reading The Old Warriors warning, is from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry from Wind, Sand and Stars: "Nobody grasped you by the shoulder while there was still time. Now the clay of which you were shaped has dried and hardened, and naught in you will ever awaken the sleeping musician, the poet, the astronomer that possibly inhabited you in the beginning." The first time I read that I almost teared up.

thanks warrior, keep firing away!

It's old warrior again - back after 8 months. Was that me? I need to hear it again! I have made progress but it is truly a battle. I found a fine coach who helps. I am using new tricks and tools (see vibrawatch under electronics). Thanks guys and dolls for affirming common problems. Share your struggle and your progress.

- nnamelet

I compete with myself by setting (realistic/attainable) goals and then achieving them. Every goal I have ever genuinely set across my life Ive achieved and beyond.I'm always trying to learn from every situation and improve myself.I also want to be the best at what I do.That keeps me both hungry and humble. If not for ADHD, I would have never had to fight for everything I've accomplished. Therefore, it's a double edged sword for me.

mctavish23

Old Warrior, (& others)
Wonderful thoughts!
Great replies!
Really hit home, as I'm going through an extremely difficult time in my life, and seem to have hit one of those 'valley' periods, sliding downwards.
In my late 40s, divorced 4 years ago, job 'transition' , death of father, mother stricken with severe Altzhiemers. (I'm sure many of you can relate.)
Seems I've fallen into the 'victim' mentality again, along with the 'self-pity', which has left me 'frozen' in place.
Your post 'hit me like a freight train'. (to paraphrase Bob Dylan in 'A Simple Twist of Fate'!)
I'm going back on meds. next week after long hiatis, to 'get the wheels turning' again. I'm again taking my ADD seriously, as you remind us we all need to do.
But, most of all, thank you for reminding me that I'm the one who is in control of my life. And that I'm the one who is ultimately responsible for coping with my ADD.
Reading your thoughts is helping me push beyond my old habits of self pity and helplessness!

Great perspective, dude. Your description is just exactly what it's like living in the trenches, and what it's likely to be like for longer than we'll be around.

Kay and I understand ADD as a result of an evolutionary process; if we're right, we are sitting on the cusp of a speciation event. We're all suffering from that old Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times."

Don't take the evolution thing wrong; on a really weird day, we sometimes think we can see God sitting out there. We're not knocking anything about that here. Evolution is just a process, and we don't know who invented it.

We see a time in the not too distant future when there won't be any need to have coping strategies or 4 foot high signs, or coaches and therapists and whatever. It's important to us, because we need those things, too. We also recognize how quickly we can get our backs up over the idea that there is something wrong with what is different in us. ADD is just another way to spell stubborn.

Kay's principle is that we have to strive to always be benevolent, to ourselves and others, but particularly to ourselves. I say we're never more dangerous than when we think it's OK to be hard on ourselves, to justify grinding on ourselves as some sadistic form of motivation. It's really the same thing.

So it's one of our comforts to think that our kids, or their kids, won't understand what you're going on about. But we sure do, and another comfort is the knowledge that, even if we're the ones paying for it, the normals are the ones that are slowly but surely going extinct.

Personally, it gives me the grins to think of everyone who ever tortured me for being different, and see nothing but dinosaurs.

I too and just finding out about what ADD is and how it has effected me and my family , jobs and friends. mctavish , I can relate to you. Being self employed for 22 years and also having a large range of creative gifts I delved into my creativity to compensate my feeling of lack of worth. This enabled me to capture some asemblance of self worth.

I am an old warrior before I am even diagnosed! This week, I told my physician that I think I have ADD. He asked me why I thought that. I told him some of my symptoms and that I had always just thought that my inattentiveness, disorganization, procrastination, talkativeness, and lack of patience were personality faults that I could not change. I told him that through reading and searching, these are symtoms of ADD. He told me that they were indeed character faults. Great! After his enlightening observation, I made an appointment with a psychiatrist for next MOnday. I was assured by her office that she treats ADD. My impatience in this process is driving me to distraction. I am having real problems concentrating on anything else.

At 52, I can't help but kick myself in the head for all these wasted years; the lost opportunities, the lost youth, the fact that I have been running in place all my life.

Sorry, I ramble but at least I know it is not ALL my own fault...

Hey Arbuck, I'm close behind you. I'm 45 and just diagnosed. I, too, feel I have left behind a lot of wasted years with wasted potential. But hey, we're doing something about it now so at least our future should be better than our past, right? ;)

I've not seen the psychiatrist yet for the meds, I see her Monday. Been seeing a pyschologist for the therapy and counseling.

I, too, thought that I had "character flaws" that I could not change. And lord how I prayed to change! Then found out through self-diagnosis that I was ADD. The psychologist agrees. Thankfully! :D At least now I don't harbor as much guilt about my work ethic, laziness, impatience, lack of motivation, talkativeness (which I'm always made fun of for), etc.

I went to see my regular doctor about this after the diagnosis and told her I was upset about all these "wasted" years. She told me that I probably just was not ready to deal with it yet and now the time is right. We may never understand why things happen the way they do or why sometimes things come to us so late in life, but everything happens when it's supposed to. It just not be when we want it! :D

Kimo-
Sounds like we have common symptoms and we will both see Psychiatrists on Monday. I checked your profile and your website. Very nice work. I am also an artist. Creativity is my outlet. I still work best on small projects rather that long term ones. I have trouble getting started and staying with it until the end. I either find too many things get in the way to start and the last little bit requires so much effort...
Let me know how your appointment goes. I will say a prayer for you. You are right. Things happen at a specific time for a specific reason. Hopefully, now is the time.:D

Thanks Arbuck! I, too, have difficulty with long projects. But when it comes to my art, I usually persevere until I finish. If you saw my "Switch A. Roo" project . . . that one took me almost 3 years to finish!!! I was too stubborn to leave it unfinished, though. :rolleyes:

I'm now doing more traditional art like colored pencil and pastels which is a bit quicker than doing the 3D art.

I went and checked out your site as well . . . very cool stuff! I love your intro animation! Very well done.

How bout on Monday evening with both post our experiences with the psychiatrist here. I'll say a prayer for you too! Thanks!

Your comments are exactly the way I feel, but until now have had no one to relate to.
Thanks

Thank you nnamelet. I needed that today. I printed out your post and put parts of it on my fridge.

ADD has hurt me severely. No one would believe what happened to me these last 4 years if I told them. Your post has been one of the most motivating I have read yet. Thanks

arbuck, I turned 50 last year and didn't find out till I was 47, I woundered for years what the heck was the problem. Then I heard on the radio an add for a study and if you answered any 3 of the 15 questions yes then call us . I answered all them yes. LOL

Sort of gives me the willies, thinking about this sort of thing. I haven't been diagnosed yet but... even knowing the kind of problems I have and the kinds of changes I need to make in my life, I seem to smash headlong into every hurdle and take the full force of the blow. Sometimes I feel like my life's on rails, and I can't change anything.

Having a slower computer as Garry sugest my not be the bad thing you guys think. I control my internet useage by three ways. #1 no work no eat (I'm self employeed no boss just partner), no house, no internet....Hello!!. Two I share connection with MR. I don;t have ADD, we limit our time so the other can use, Number three.. I have slow processor that was designed the same year Noah built the arc, while I was waiting for this to down doad I let the dog out, when I pop (ever so S..L..O..W...L..Y..)to another thread I'll probably feed the dog, get the picture?

Just my quarters worth,
Tammy

too true
did not get proper diagnosis till 30s
but luckily i have had other health problems so i knew that
taking pills may help but you have to work too

good advice given with beleivable perspective.

I am one of those adders who have absolutely no idea what to do with my life. I tried to go to college but some how I just did not feel like I belonged there. (I was having other problems as well) I tried getting a job but because of my condition I cannot for some reason, get passed the interview part. As an adder I feel worthless and ordinary. I feel as though I have no ability what so ever and that I am doomed to stay exactly where I am for the rest of my life. I am 29 now and I am just tired. I have read that there a lot of people here that donnot get to a good point in there lives (job wise family wise) until they are in there are way up in age, or in my opinion too old to do anything. I want to be settled in a job that I like and get married and have kids before I am too old to do so. But for some reason,I can't seem to find any of what I want. I am seeing a therapist now but I feel that I need more.

Hope you get to read this,

Careem

I was diagnosed when I was 20 or 21. don't remember. but I was not told about or learned about any sort of help until I was much older.





too true
did not get proper diagnosis till 30s
but luckily i have had other health problems so i knew that
taking pills may help but you have to work too

good advice given with beleivable perspective.

Old ADD warrior has brought to the surface many truths.
Before you are diagnosed with ADD, you blame yourself for all your failures. After the diagnosis, (which I haven't been yet) I imagine you can let go of some of that guilt & move on. I guess the trick is to let the diagnosis help you move forward than to use it as an excuse, which scares me.
Two questions:
1.As one member asked (so sorry I forgot your name), are there individuals out there with ADD that have been able to get passed all the excuses for inaction, and feel in control and productive each day? No longer feeeling like you are wasting your life away like "old add warrior" had mentioned? How?

2. Any tips on how to put these forums to a minimum so they don't become part of the problem? I have been on here too long!

Thanks for all your precious time.

Wow, I just read this thread from "Old ADD warrior." I think the worst thing isn't all the chances we ADDers let go by. It's that we are often totally unable or incapable of forgiving ourselves enough to try again. We (I at least) often get stuck in these trenches of self-comtempt and loathing. I can't think of a better frame of mind that almost totally prevents a person from allowing to think, "Yeah, I screwed up. But somehow, someway, I know I can do better."
My therapist really helped me a lot by asking this: "Instead of thinking of yourself as a 'failed deity,' how about a 'perfectly imperfect' person?" That way, he said, when you make the inevitable mistakes, you can "forgive" yourself and be able to try again at about the same emotional level--and drive yourself further down by having set and not met unrealistically high expectations. That makes it all the harder to get emotionally where you were before.
By the way, I highly recommend getting individual therapy to help deal with this particularly crippling aspect of ADD. It's taken a while, but I'm now at a point where when I do make a mistake, I refuse to dwell on it too long. Instead, I make it a challenge: I tell myself "Ten-to-one you'll make that mistake again, right?" then I do my darnedest to prove "myself" wrong! It's a simple mindgame, but the effects can lead to what we so desperately need: self-forgiveness AND self-empowerment! http://www.addforums.com/forums/images/icons/icon3.gif

Yes I have to agree this is an essential place to apply one's attention. The messages I play in my head about what a lame **** I have been will not help change things one iota.

Deliberately repeating more positive messages goes a long way to reminding myself just how often and for how long I've been flogging myself.

It's getting better.. on day at a time.
ian

are there individuals out there with ADD that have been able to get passed all the excuses for inaction, and feel in control and productive each day? No longer feeeling like you are wasting your life away like "old add warrior" had mentioned? How?



I feel like an old car--lots of squeaks, and small stuff that doesn't work, and not running on all cylinders. But knowing what the problem is is only half the struggle. You have to get help, either from outside, or from some great internal wellspring of self-discipline and strength. My problem (well, one of my problems!) is, I know what the heck is wrong with my motor, but I can't find a mechanic to help fix it, and if I could fix it myself, then it wouldn't be that big a problem. But it is.

I have found "self talk" of little use. What does help me (besides a great God thing) is change in prespective. I can talk until I am hoarse but it woun't do nothing but make the neighbors think I am crazier. I do my best to see problem situations, mis understanding from as many perspectives as I can. Kind of like a "game" take a senerio and see how many different view points you can come up with. Put that ADD to WORK FOR YOU!! More view points more vision, more options to choose from.

Try and remember to "soften your rules" when it comes to yourself and recognize that life is a process. You get what you focus on.:)

Try and remember to "soften your rules" when it comes to yourself and recognize that life is a process. You get what you focus on.:)
Hey, that's Kay's first rule, Always seek the benevolent view, especially of yourself.

But wait, so are we supposed to soften that rule, too? AHHHHHHH....

adina1, in response to your question:

1.As one member asked (so sorry I forgot your name), are there individuals out there with ADD that have been able to get passed all the excuses for inaction, and feel in control and productive each day? No longer feeeling like you are wasting your life away like "old add warrior" had mentioned? How?

You know, I think one of the reasons I was so frustrated and angry with myself before I knew I had ADD was that there were so many things I really wanted to do--both mental/intellectual and physical--but wasn't capable of. But since I've found out 7 years ago and been taking medication, I'm now able to do many of those things, plus a few morethings never dreamed of doing!
That new-found ability has really empowered me. Despite that--or maybe even because of it--I sometimes dwell on how much of my life was "lost," how much potential I would've had, what I might have become, etc. But I keep telling myself it's a waste of precious time to think about such things (I'm age 48). Better to use that time to "catch up" and do all those things you couldn't do before!
Also, I recommend you look into taking some kind of medication for your ADD, if you're not already. If you are taking meds but it doesn't seem to be helping you "get past" at least some ADD-related problems, by all means start "tweeking the system:" either change your current dosage, or try switching to a different med. There are so many different kinds of ADD medicine on the market now, there's an ideal dose/combination out there for everyone; you just have to find it.
E.g., my son has ADHD. First he took Concerta, then we switched him to Adderall. Recently, the doctor put him back on Concerta, AND he also takes 5mg of Ritalin with it in the morning! That combo surprised me, but now my son's doing better than he's ever done before, especially at school.
Anyway, I hope this helps...:)

This thread isn't really the place to be getting into it so I'll resist..ehh kind of.. :rolleyes:

However there are others whom have expressed a need to answer some of the questions surrounding procrastination. I'm certainly one of them.

Currently there is an active thread directly relevant to your query. Read some of this and see if you have anything to add to it.

www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10937&highlight=procrastination
(http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10937&highlight=procrastination)
I'm also quite a fan of this thread. It's helped me in many things including procrastination.

www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7714 (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7714)

I plugged procrastination into the search function.. it's popular! ehh
ian

This thread isn't really the place to be getting into it so I'll resist..ehh kind of.. :rolleyes:

However there are others whom have expressed a need to answer some of the questions surrounding procrastination. I'm certainly one of them.

Currently there is an active thread directly relevant to your query. Read some of this and see if you have anything to add to it.

www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10937&highlight=procrastination
(http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10937&highlight=procrastination)
I'm also quite a fan of this thread. It's helped me in many things including procrastination.

www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7714 (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7714)

I plugged procrastination into the search function.. it's popular! ehh
ian
Hi Chao:

I note that you responded to Old Warrior, though I don't recall getting a message.

In any event, upon tracking down your other threads and learning your story, it's clear that you qualify among us elite who needed many knocks before we got serious about change. Congratulations on your growth.

OW

Hey Joan:

Congratulations on your committed actions. I was just browsing old messages and got a good feeling on seeing your post.

Warrior

I was browsing the old responses and touching base with the issues.
Therapists have pointed out to me that most therapists in the U.S. avoid challenging clients directly.

Some people - especially those who suffered severe abuse in childhood - may be need to have gentle challenge till they get stronger. There are other people who are fairly satified with themselves and are not interested in challenges. But a lot of us out there need a boot in the butt. If we don't get and respond to it earlier - life may deliver it later when it's too late to do much about things.

Congratulations to those who are responding

Warrior

if i didn't have an internet..on earth..i probably would be a more productive person and not nearly so ****ed about current events and 'what is wrong with ppl these days!!!"
i get sucked into it.
its a black hole !

I don't respond to being challenged or threatened. I do respond to extra attention & routine schedule (as much as I despise routine). Unfortunately I'm not a child anymore & mommy or daddy will not hold my hand or support me in that way. So it's up to me, and that's not easy.

Hear hear
W.

I don't respond to being challenged or threatened. I do respond to extra attention & routine schedule (as much as I despise routine). Unfortunately I'm not a child anymore & mommy or daddy will not hold my hand or support me in that way. So it's up to me, and that's not easy.
The word, threat, sounds ugly to me. It's somebody forcing something on somebody else.

Challenge to me is asking questions that provide realistic perspectives. The AA's have a slogan: "What you like is where you are going". So a question is: Do my actions match my goals? If not, then I have choices. It's up to me to decide whether I am satisfied with where I am - or feel I need to make changes. Once I accept the need and start - however small the steps, I'm facing in a new direction.

It's tough to make that change. Rubber bands snap me back into the old direction. Soft talk, I'm ok, you're ok, doesn't help me. Reality with love does.

W.

Old Warrior, I lift off my hat to you. I am 49 and a recent widow of 2-3 years now. I was to proud to admit to myself or anyone that I have always had trouble coping in life and relationships. I have come to a truce with my family now only because they are demanding I get some help and get on meds to balance me out. I never realized the crap I'd do to my loved ones and my moods , I'd take out on them. But after reading your message and I am a Christian, but even in my faith, I still need outside intervention and meds. I am going to get help. and I hope it's not to late to make up with my family. Iv'e always needed help, but was always to proud to admit it till now. Thank You for your Wisdom and God Bless!

Really liked your attitude - on target in every area. Go for it!

Warrior

Hi Warrior,
Thanks for caring about the people who are in the place you once were (i.e., new!). I hear you. Part of me is still in shock that this diagnosis might be true, and the rest of me is relieved that there is a name for it, and people to talk to about it.
I guess each person in life has challenges, and the more we can learn about our specific challenges, the better. BTW, I am 54, and secretly blame myself for dribbling away my potential. I hope to get over that in my therapy. And if I need the therapist to be more directive (as you said), I will tell her that!
I especially liked this part of your closing:
Be warned - and profit! Life can be marvelous for the ADD who takes ADHD seriously and embarks on a commited program of self improvement rather than just expecting pills to do it all.

Because of your creativity and ADHD - given gifts, your operational skills - though hard won - will pay much bigger dividends than would be true for the ordinary earth person.

I agree, it's pretty darn inspiring. I should somehow get my eyeballs over this post once a week just to keep me in closer touch with such a strong positive message.
Less despair, more hope. Thanks again Warrior.
Cheers urantiagal and welcome to the board.

But after reading your message and I am a Christian, but even in my faith, I still need outside intervention and meds.

I believe God created the human race in such a way that we would be interdependent upon eachother, that is why people are gifted in different areas. God gives us a choice as the weather or not we believe Him. Faith is a whole nother thread, maybe another forum but....okay my point is: we are all different and have areas in which we excell at and other areas in which we are weak. I believe the weak areas were put there so we would reach out not only to God but to other people. Some times God works in our lives through others like Old ADD Warrior. God has given us free will freedom of choice we can choose to head the call or choose to ignore it but the consequesces are ours!! Go for help and do not pass go and darn sure don't let any one convince you that needing help is a sign of weak faith. For people like us the ADHD, the strong, the hard headed getting help is a sign of strong faith as we are reaching out beyond self!!! The first step in every faith including but not limited to Christainity.



I never realized the crap I'd do to my loved ones and my moods , I'd take out on them.

Hang onto that thought it may come in handy. I had to go through that relazation myself. I made amends as stated in the 12 step programs, but remembering how I viewed things before I began treating my ADHD with medications, education, and behavior modifications has been used by God to give me the oppertunity to help others who are still wondering what happened and why.



I am going to get help. and I hope it's not to late to make up with my family.

Helping your self and be willing to ancknowledge where you hurt a loved one will go along way toward allowing forgiveness to occur but it may take awhile for you to earn back trust. Don't let this discourage you. It took time for you to get where you are it will take time to get else where in life. I believe it is less about destination and more to do with the journey.For me doubt lurks about awaiting an oppertunity to grab my attitude. I have to remember God didn't create the world in one day, what makes me think I can change it in one day!!! Hang in there and remember growth isn't easy or everyone would be doing it!!!!

Odviously, by my name "BlessedLady" my Faith & belief in God is stated.

At the time I was properly diagnoised &"properly medicated"...44, I finally understood why I had not been able to keephouse & all the other things that go along with the "housekeeping" aspect. Odviously, for the large family we had, 6 kids, our house is big..really big. And to top it off when everyone moved out...most of their stuff they left here. My husband took 2 changes of clothes & has been back to get a Bible & a few tools. Any of you Ladies have any idea how much "stuff" 2 married ADD unmedicated people icuumelate( I can't even spell it) in 18 yrs of marriage...we'd been married that long when he left ? An amount even ADDers find impossible to believe.

My point, I'm looking for a smaller..much smaller place...and when I had been unable to make any progress in this area...I thought "well, maybe the Lord wants me to try & get things in order here before He gives me another place" I'm 51 & the ADD does not limit my "housekeeping" but physical problems do...& I know the Lord is aware of this..but being human & hardheaded...I had been trying to make up for almost 20 yrs of little to no housekeeping ( the difference in the yrs from diagnoises & now is that taking a pill & doing some reading is NOT all it takes...for some of us it takes more than others for me it took more)

My relationship with the Lord is one of my talking (not just Praying) to Him & Him talking to me. And as I was on my hands & knees scrubbing the floors one night...crying...saying "Lord what else do you want me to do before I can move, how much more that I now know how to do to & before did not...but physically am putting myself at risk doing..do I have to do to prove to you I will take care of a new place right ?" The Lord's answer..." I don't expect you to make up for what all the others that lived here didn't do, I also don't expect you to make up for all the years you didn't know what or how to keep house. I know you will keep the new place I have for you like it should be and this new place is better than you even think it will be."

The hard part is trying to get this across to others....especially if they are your grown kids...even if they have ADD. I wish the Lord would tell them what He told me...but I don't believe they would comprehend it.

Being a Christian with or without ADD doesn't make life perfect or easy. I think it is the way we take things and the way we deal with them that makes the difference. I also have a personal "agreement" of sorts with the Lord...the things He gives me the strength & other things I need to get through...I will share with others...even if at times all someone needs is to see than another person was where they are and as impossible as it seems....that person made it and they are standing there and they aren't wearing any "sign" that would tell anyone where they once where.

I Hope some of this makes sence. As you can tell I'm a "Newbie" here & with all the different forums...I'm concerned with saying something in the wrong one & getting into trouble.
BlessedLady

Hey, BlessedLady:

We can offer a perspective, I think, with this:

We know many people that feel like you do about how you routinely experience a remarkable personal communication (in a religious way) about your situation and circumstances.

My father is one, and the last time we talked about it, he described something pretty close to what you posted.

There are many other popular branches of this particular tree, of course, and many of them are represented here in the forums. There are probably as many secular ways of looking at our experiences, too.

In general, we’re not supposed to discus religion or politics, by the brilliant logic (no, really, it's brilliant) that such discussions tend to be divisive, this forum is dedicated to discussing AD/HD, and AD/HD related issues, and there are plenty of forums out there dedicated to supporting those other firestorms.

The official word on this policy can be found in the forum guidelines here (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10964).

Despite that, though, some members seem to feel that it's difficult to discus their personal struggle with AD/HD without involving their religious beliefs, and we sympathize with that, which might surprise a few folks.

It doesn't matter how any particular part of the human picture is painted, or whose hand you personally believe might be wielding the brush. We all are a part of the picture, and so we all have a claim to these experiences.

And of course, our interpretation of a common experience doesn't have any impact on the experience itself, or bear any particular weight on how you should interpret it.

For example, Kay calls the same experience you describe "whispers", and we have a very solid theory about where and how they originate. But we would be hard pressed to call your interpretation incorrect, because it seems like a valid interpretation under the theory.

We just push the edge beyond which belief must take over out a bit further than most people, but that doesn’t change the fact that there is something intrinsically mysterious about the phenomenon of 'being' itself. We may be the first to explicitly enclose that in the body of a hard theory, but there isn't anything scientifically incorrect about that.

We don't think that you have anything to worry about if you stick to describing the experience itself, and don't insist that we all share the same interpretation.

That wouldn't be fair to you or anyone else, because we all share experiences similar to what you describe, and we should be able to talk about that without getting entangled in individual beliefs too badly.

Oh, and welcome to the forums.

--Tom and Kay

Thank you for directing me in the right direction...I deeply appreciate it. What I didn't say at the beginning of my post & should have... besides the fact that I believe it is the right thing too always say so noone feels uncomfortable..... it would have also been the polite thing to do. I ALWAYS say if speaking to someone in person and I have no knowledge of their beliefs or even if they have any...that "my beliefs" are just that "my beliefs" I don't try & push "my beliefs" onto others. I have friends that are literally from one end of the spectrum to the other....from those that have dedicated their lives to Christianity to those that don't believe in anything....I respect everyone equally, their beliefs or lack of them and/or the in between. I've been told this is very unusual...my response to that is I barely can manage my own life.....I have no right nor do I want to tell someone else how to manage ie live their life. I've even thought about changing "BlessedLady" to something...not quite as loud. If this would be a good idea..please let me know & I will gladly do it.
Again I Thank You for your direction.

My relationship with the Lord is one of my talking (not just Praying) to Him & Him talking to me.

I will take my chances here and interpert this as how ADD effects a RELATIONSHIP with a "significiant other that would be a very significiant other" Before I get "digged, donged" or what ever I just wanted to let you know My relationship with my "number one sigificant other" works much the same way!!! I get asked "Who are you talking to?" So don't feel like the lonesom stranger here on the forums or in this area "socilization". I am sorry about what you are going through I wish I could help more than saying you are not alone (pun intended).

Should you feel the need to post more about "the forbidden area of faith" contact me off post and we can talk without having to talk in "code" to stay in complaince with policy. To send a messge off post click my user name and selcet send privite message. You will get a screen much like this one type away. I am not a weido and I am female I just understand how faith is as much a part of you right along with ADD, being female, ect..

One thing I believe I can say here is..... one of the symptoms of ADD is having a hard time "waiting" we can be an impatient bunch. When we are hurting we want relief now!!!!! I have been there and my instienct was to jump at the first oppuntunity to "do something.

Not everey thing is YOUR fault. The hardest thing being ADD is knowing where my problems end and others begin. I hope this helps. Will "chat" for you during my talk time!!

TO MODERATOR AND SUCH: I do not intend to break any rules nor do I intend to encourage any one else to. I will do what I can (with in reason) to remian with in complaince. I can not deny who and what I am I can not in good faith let a brother or sister drown with out trying to help even if that means comminucating off post or forums. Sorry my faith must take proirity over my comfort, but being ataganestic is not my goal I am trying to make this a win win situation!!!!

Please read the guidelines carefully. There are places for these discussions on the forums and it's not here.

Thank-you Tom and Kay for so gently saying what I mean.
Ian

Please read the guidelines carefully. There are places for these discussions on the forums and it's not here.

Consider it done because it is!!!!! When I first started here I got over whelmed and it took a while for me to figure out where to post what. I appreciate folks who directed me gently. I try to do the same for others. To be new to forums (in general) and be new to ADD Dx can be confusing. I understand the guildelines and both parties have complied. Apologies for brief disruption now back to your regularly scheduled program!!!

And that folks is what I love about the people here...
Good on you Tammy for hearing what is sometimes difficult to hear. I'm certainly no pro at being gentle but I do feel like at last I'm among those whom understand when I slip and help jack me up when I'm trying.
Support is a wonderful thing and we all need it no matter what our roles. Thank-you.
Ian.

thanks nnamelelt...for your thought of wisdom . I have not been honest with myself until I came in here and started to post. It is so hard...I just begun to do that and your post was a real wakeup call. The questions you asked are profound and make one think. thanks for your post and honesty. :p

Warrior, in college I had a poster on the wall by Robert something or other (Fulgram?) that said "Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." As much as I loved that poster, I don't think that Robert was adhd :rolleyes:. You should have your original post made into a poster for adhd people--I know I would buy one.

I had to learn to be the type of person you were looking for in a therapist for myself. I learned to shout at myself, on the inside. It took me years, and none was without a great deal of heartache. My mantra during student teaching was, "if this doesn't kill me, it will only make me stronger."

Thank you for your post--it was beautifully done! :)

Hi I was diagnosed 6 month ago when I was still 53.

It took a while to wake up, probably 3-4 month. All of a sudden I realised changes. I was not the old person anylonger. For some odd reason I could shrug off a lot of my past and I am still working with my psyc on sticky childhood issues. I got very dareing. Still am, and enjoying it. I explored relationship issues and hurt myself badly. Trying to fix where I got hurt with my psyc.

Use your pain as an advisor !! Ask yourself what the pain is telling you !

Due to the pain I was experience I got intouch with a psychologist I knew from about 2 years ago. I just had the feeling it would be good/helpfull to talk to him.

To make it short, due to this contact I have now enroled into a NLP weekend and will enrole to the full course. Takes about a year.

I think persistance is the middlename of us ADDlers. Use it keep on working on yourself.

Never, never give up !!!:)

LOL Otto:)

To The OLD Warrior

Hi Kid! Welcome aboard!

I’m 60 and I have ADD!

I LOVE HAVING ADD.

I really feel for you and the many others who have posted here to announce that they have either recently discovered having ADD or they believe they have it. I felt the same way, when I learned I had it. As usual, I discovered it by accident, when my first wife told me that our daughter had a serious learning disorder called ADD. When she recited the many characteristics of ADD, my reaction was; What’s wrong with those characteristics? I cannot repeat her response on this family forum.

I can feel the fears, the worries, the feelings of rejection, and the frustrations by the many posters over the possibility of having ADD. Cheer up!

I will tell you that once you fully understand what ADD really is, the true blessings it provides you, and how to overcome the drawbacks that come with it, you will love having it also.

It is never too early or too late to convert you ADD into the blessing it really is. If you really have ADD you are very special. You will want to discover your specialnesses, and then apply them where you will get the most enjoyment and rewards from them.

Have fun!

For those looking for the last two posts, they have been moved to their very own thread: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=169113#post169113

Interesting discussion deserves a bigger audience that we felt they would receive here.

Hope you don't mind.

Kim

Peter wrote,
I was diagnosed last fall (officially) at the age of 43. At the insistence of a friend I attended the CHADD conference in Florida... found myself crying at the end of it during Tom Brown's closing remarks. Lots of grief and wasted opportunities to let go of.

As for the future, I am hopeful. If there's anyone out there who has similarly struggled and overcome (compensated, adjusted, etc.) for their ADD to live a more successful HAPPIER life- I'd love to hear from you. In particular, what is that you did that made (makes!) the difference?

Peter

Stranger wrote,
I hope you're right about a nice future, because I don't see one for me

Stranger
Bullit78 wrote
Hey Stranger, Don't feel bad. I'm on the late wagon too. I just found the site yesterday. But it is post like this that have kept me coming back to read anything old and new. Hang in there.

Bullitt78


To Stranger, Peter, and Bullit78, all of whom were only recently diagnosed with ADD at a later stage in life. Each of you expressed a concern for what is in store for you now that you have discovered your ADD.

My direct response is:

Welcome Aboard to the ADD club!

I’m 60 and I love my ADD. You are truly blessed if you do have ADD. I have been able to enjoy many aspects of my life and prosper at the same time, because I have ADD and I fully understand my unique ADD blessings and personal traits. (For example I type in a word processing program first to allow me to put my thoughts down fast without fear of bad grammar or misspelling. Then I let the program find my many mistakes, some dyslexic, before I post) This way I can focus on getting the ideas down in an understandable order, without getting bogged down with the details of English. I believe Spellchecker was designed for many ADDers.


The key is to discover what your true unique ADD blessings are (they are quite different for ADDers) You will also want to discover which ADD drawbacks are the most prevalent (are the strongest) In other words the real key is for you to look into yourselves to find out what you love to do and what drives you and what you do not want to,

With this new knowledge of yourself you can create the life and work related conditions that will allow you to operate in your natural ADD world and thrive.

For example, Robin Williams now knows that he can let his hyperactive ADD mind go into free form ad lib within the studio or stage with appreciative audiences and have a ball talking about whatever comes to mind. He gets the wonderful laughter rewards that he cherishes, and a bunch of money to boot, for just being his ADD self. However, he acknowledged one time after a particularly funny and a bit dirty ad lib in front of a live student audience, that he would have been arrested if he had done the exact same thing on the streets of NY. He knew when and where to apply his special ADD gifts, and where not to.

You can do the same once you discover what your gifts are.

I hope this helps.

Bill

The key is to discover what your true unique ADD blessings are (they are quite different for ADDers) You will also want to discover which ADD drawbacks are the most prevalent (are the strongest) In other words the real key is for you to look into yourselves to find out what you love to do and what drives you and what you do not want to,


I like the way you wrote this. I LOVE your out look even more. I have ADHD, I can pi$$ and moan, deny it, handle it any way I want as it is after all my ADHD. I decided shortly after I found there was a "name" for some of my tendencies called ADHD I decided being negative and feeling bad sucked severly and decided to figure out how to make this difference of thinking work FOR ME!!!! After all it doesn't matter if I like this "difference" or if I hate it it is part of me. My perspective may not change the existence of my ADHD but it sure does wonders when it come to how I feel about having it, Feeling positive helps me be more postive, the more postive I am the more constructive I am. Having hyperactivity means I can't be still for long; therefore, I will either be very destructive or very constructive. I choose constructive it is a much happer place to be.

The lableing thing doesn't get to me either as the "label" ADD/ADHD is how we all found each other here on this site. I like comminucating with people who accept me even if they don't understand or agree. I enjoy the diverse directions threads can go, I like knowing I am not the only person in the world who has spent a life time being "different"!!!!

Oh by the way the invertor of the spell checker may have had ADD but I bet he invented it because he/she was tired of (lacked the attention span to) deciphering dyslexic gibberish!!!! I use a spell checker program sometimes (last three words of previous sentence) I don't always though. I have mis-spelled words so badly that even the spell checker was clueless. I have made statement about adding spell check features to the advanced post thing but have never heard back????? Think I will try your suggestion of writting my entire response out on another program and then coping and pasting it onto the forum. Wonder if it will decrease the time it take for me to relpy to post??? HMMmmmm will have to see. :D

I am you old warrior - 23 years in the past. I am now 35, just found out a year and a half ago, and I am just realizing what I have. May sound strange, but I've known myself as stranger in my life, but I feel as though I have been told why I think differently, why I see things from a different vantage point, and why I often havn't the damndest clue why people don't understand, or see it my way. Well put, I shall save your post and keep it as my emergency air, (I scuba dive), to get me up when I am beating myself over yesterdays mistake.


Thanks,

and I will now rename you "Wise Warrior"

have a great day and Godspeed!

Old Warrior, it isn't too late for you!, you have wisdom and you have time- take heart!

And thankyou!

Just as an fyi, is this the longest running continuous post ?

Hooboy, thanks, folks, especially Shady. Ever heard of anybody who didn't warm to positive messages?

Nam

Wow, I just read the first post by Old Warrior. It was very timely for me. I realize I've had my adult diagnosis 10 months now, and I'm still fighting it rather than learning to work with it. I've used it as an excuse, I've been extremely inconsistent with following my counselor's suggestions for relaxation breathing, journaling, affirmations, thought stopping, etc. And now I had to go and try to prove I could do it on my own without the meds and screwed up big time. It's definately time to grow up and start taking responsibility for my choices and doing what's necessary to become as productive and useful as I can be instead of indulging my "off in my own world" at the expense of everything else. Unfortunately, McT's "adult's suck" fits me to well ATM.

Scattered

Just as an fyi, is this the longest running continuous post ?
due to your comment here McT I went and checked the date when it was first posted , and found

That I also posted to " the Old Warrior" the day it was orginally posted

and that

This is when I first met you

If you go to the first post and scroll down to my post to you,

well there has been a lot of "Water Under The Bridge" since then

and your "Street English " sure has improved since then

Its been a real pleasure talking to you since 07-07-2003

Merry Christmas

Happy Holidays

what ever applies in these silly political times

<!-- / status icon and date -->

Aforce for good:

2800 baud and a MASSIVE 2 megs of ram. That would have been fantastic.

My first modem was only 300 baud and my first computer had only 64 K of ram.... some here might remember earlier ones with as little as 8 K of ram eg Timex-Sinclare.

Oh, you are way off on your estimate of how much text one of those disks could hold. If you are talking about plain, unformated text, they actually could hold a lot. At a guess, I would think it might take 50 or more 360k disks to hold the Bible.

For more info, check it out here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floppy_disk

Oh old warrior:

Yes, I am very close to you be with a recent Dx. Your post is excellent.

- Vic

This was one of the very first things I ever read here. It crops up now and again and still it warms me. I've continued to gather strength. Thanks for the history note Garry.

Thank-you old warrior buddy.
Cheers all. Ian

Wow, I just read the first post by Old Warrior. It was very timely for me. I realize I've had my adult diagnosis 10 months now, and I'm still fighting it rather than learning to work with it. I've used it as an excuse, I've been extremely inconsistent with following my counselor's suggestions for relaxation breathing, journaling, affirmations, thought stopping, etc. And now I had to go and try to prove I could do it on my own without the meds and screwed up big time. It's definately time to grow up and start taking responsibility for my choices and doing what's necessary to become as productive and useful as I can be instead of indulging my "off in my own world" at the expense of everything else. Unfortunately, McT's "adult's suck" fits me to well ATM.

Scattered
Oh, Scattered. I just found this thread, and I am in the same place you are..diagnosed six months ago, and still...wavering in my acceptance of the diagnosis. I STILL....think I am lazy...as I sit here in my cozy livingroom, having wandered around the web for the last...four hours. My shopping is not done...etc., but I'm sure I'll have time to do whatever needs doing. I am also unemployed... and haven't a clue.. and I'm a single parent with a son in College and no savings. Although I have an offer pending, I can't make a decision about it (another job to fail at? another Boss from Hell?)

I have had an application in my posession for VESID services for almost a month (Vocational and Educational Services for Individuals with Disabilities)which seems to be the only game around where I can find any level of expertise on ADD and jobs/careers. Yet I haven't filled it out and sent it in even tho I've got a letter from my Doc....(recurrent major depressive disorder, ADD, alcohol dependence). Because, uh, I'm in denial? I'm just lazy? I'm too busy wasting time whining?

Ok. I've got it right here. I'm going to fill it in and hand deliver it next week.

Great thread, BTW, Can McTavish come over to my house every morning and read me the riot act??? Maybe a special ADD-Alarm Clock, that wakes one with a half hour of quiet affirmations and encouragement, followed by McTavish telling me to get my *** out of bed and behave like an adult.

Shhh....I'm going to the patent office right now...

Two things.

"If you are ambitious and have lots of interests you will find out that ADD's effects may increase with time - if not dealt with early. Projects, concerns, complications, and interests can multiply with age in ADHDs, while the physical energy needed to deal with them decline. So lapses and failures increase in number and severity. And you will realize time is running out on you and you no longer have most of your life to correct things."

That scares the life out of me.

I spent this year in a way I hope not to see again. Maybe a new thread should be started with each poster giving a summary of how their year went. Speaking about it divides the load right.

The best part about life in these times is that as long as you can breath, the possibilities are truly endless. I just need someone to show me the way out of this forest.

Thank you mighty Warrior.

ps. It is going to be the unassuming things that we do in life that will tell the biggest tale of our measure. Is that not ironic.

I'm going to the patent office right now...Joyous56, Good for you -- nothing like seizing the moment! My therapist says just doing one thing a day can make a huge difference in less time than you think!

I'm going to work on changing things now rather than later too (because later tends not to get here, especially for an ADDer). I've been thinking about the times in life that were more successful for me even without meds and discussing it with my therapist. I told him I wanted to get back to that place and be freee of meds. He said short of going back to my Bible college were we had strict curfews, no TV, person comptuers, or outside distractions (not to mention no kids or husband), it didn't seem likely to suceed under current circumstances. He's probably right. I do have kids and a husband (all of whom I'd like to keep in my life!;)), but there are some less essential things -- specifically the computer and TV. I've been a very active computer addict lately and don't seem to be able to limit my time even with meds, so I'm cancelling my server and asking my husband not to hook the DSL up to my computer until after January. I want to do an experiment and see how things go. John Ratey's book Shadow Syndromes talks about how folks with mild ADD can have successful periods in their lives but when there gets to be too much on their plate there is a tipping over that takes place and things can be bad very quickly. That's pretty much were I am. I'd like to tilt things back in the right direction. So since I haven't had success with moderation, I'm going to cut the computer out completely for now and see what happens. I can still use my husband's DSL if I need something, but I won't have the easy access or privacy, so that should really help me keep things more in balance.

Happy Holiday's to you all and a very wonderful New Year!

Scattered

Two things.

"If you are ambitious and have lots of interests you will find out that ADD's effects may increase with time - if not dealt with early. Projects, concerns, complications, and interests can multiply with age in ADHDs, while the physical energy needed to deal with them decline. So lapses and failures increase in number and severity. And you will realize time is running out on you and you no longer have most of your life to correct things."

That scares the life out of me.



Me, too.

I find myself trying to come to grips with my ADD, but those around me are still expecting me to fit into a mold, to be "normal." This, more than anything, is screwing up my marriage. While I might be forced to do things in a more "normal" way, it would be 10 times harder for me to sustain the level of energy and interest in "normalcy" that others have, and I would lose interest, mess up, and fail miserably. This from the voice of experience.

I've been gone from here for a while, but I hope to be able to hang out a little more in the future. Merry Christmahanukwanzakah to you all!

Because of your creativity and ADHD - given gifts, your operational skills - though hard won -[{*will pay much bigger dividends than would be true for the ordinary earth person.*}]-


true ... :-)

SB.

Have you have been diagnosed or otherwise know that you have ADD - and have your actions or failure to take actions seriously damaged your life, happiness, and your relation