View Full Version : What could i talk about?


Newtodexedrine
01-22-13, 09:13 PM
i'm a guy thats 15 years old, i was a gamer for 3-4 years like badly i played 9+hours daily and did nothing else other then school so i lost my personality i think, and im like a zombie pretty much i dont tell any jokes anymore and never have much to say >.< ... but anyway lately ive been cutting down on the gaming and im not even really interested in it anymore. I started talking with this girl we talked for about 4hours on facebook, then we texted the next day and so on. She wanted to hangout with me today but i already had other plans and was with the person. i want to hangout with her in person but i have alot of anxiety when im outside so it would be even worse if it was just me and this girl.

I would like to hangout with this girl but i just dont want it to be a awkward time with her talking and me giving answers like yes and no the whole time. What can we talk about or do? should i try to get a anxiety medication to maybe get back to my old self that always made people laugh?

sarahsweets
01-23-13, 05:44 AM
Medication isnt always the answer.

SquarePeg
01-23-13, 10:17 AM
Be yourself. I still get anxious meeting new people but you could just be honest and say that you are feeling nervous (I bet she is too). Ask her plenty of questions about herself, what she likes to do, bands she likes. Itīs natural to be nervous so go ahead and be brave.

GeordieDave
01-23-13, 11:34 AM
Yeah, exactly as SquarePeg says. Be yourself, don't try and be someone else to impress her. Just be honest and yes ask her questions. Most women love talking about themselves :P

Without sounding big headed, but I have had plenty of dates in the past. I have one this Sunday, she want's to go ice skating and even I still get nervous, to the point my hands are sweaty lol. We are humans it's natural to feel nervous. I'm actually more nervous going iceskating than taking her out!

Just be confident within yourself, keep eye contact everytime you are both talking. She is interested in you, if not she would not want to meet up. So don't think negatively.

You can do plenty. Take her to the cinemas, ice skating or a local gig. I used to love going to gigs when I was your age!

Absurdism
03-20-13, 11:05 PM
Most important thing is to be yourself. It sounds cliche and overused, but if you will never be happy with someone that doesn't accept you for all the nuisances and quirks. If you're anxious, don't fight it -- that's part of your personality. It's a logical response you have developed through past experiences and is fully justified. Just try to relax and not feel guilty about the anxiety.

You shouldn't have to live up to expectations of conformity when dating. The relationship is between you and her, not your facade and her facade. Talk about what genuinely interests you and ask her thorough (non yes-or-no) questions about her own life, interests, and hobbies. Look her in the eye when she talks, it gives the speaker a feeling of reward and being understood. If she chooses not to express herself much, it's highly possible that she is shy as well.

Bottom line is, and how much I wish I'd known it earlier, being shy does not make you any less of a human being. I always felt like my anxiety and low self-esteem hindered my potential, and I hated myself for it. Therapy helped me remove the goggles of judgment and look at myself objectively: I'm not perfect, I'm not garbage, I am the result of the hand that life dealt me, and I'm the only person who can consciously justify my actions. Stabilizing that sense of worth will lead to permanent good changes.

someothertime
03-24-13, 07:34 AM
There is no such thing as a "typical date"......

Think of how your skill levels were when you first played a game. You persevered and got better. Works that way socially but our ( usually unrealistic ) emotions stop us coming back for more.

Keep your emotions realistic, if you get shot, respawn and bring it again. If your first outing with her is not as successful as you hope, you will still be improving your skill levels if you look at it the right way.......

Bring your energy, make a play, adapt, and realise that failure is just another step to success.

ToneTone
03-26-13, 01:52 PM
Here's the thing ... and this applies to adults as well ... You don't know how it will go until you do it.

If it's a good relationship, you'll be able to have a good back-and-forth ... So don't worry about what you'll say. If she's good for you, you'll want to share and open up. And she will want to do the same.

If you're uncomfortable talking to her, then don't assume that's your fault. You two may not have enough in common to talk about ... But trust me guy: this happens to older folks all the time. You go out with someone, and the conversation just dies ... We just have more experience to know this isn't just our own "fault."

Go meet up and see what happens. You can always state bluntly in an email to her, "Look, I'm nervous ... and if I get quiet, don't be offended."

If you are with her and you like her and find yourself being quiet, go ahead and say, "I'm sorry--I know I'm being quiet. But I'm having a good time." That will allow her to relax and know that you like her even if you're a bit quiet at first.

Good luck. And report back.

Tone

dvdnvwls
03-26-13, 02:11 PM
How to do it right:

Show up. Shut up. Listen. Smile.

ILikeHats
04-09-13, 03:00 AM
Like most people have already reiterated, just be yourself. By you saying you've talked to her for a few hours, it seems that she must enjoy talking to you. However, I'd get to know her more you actually see her, be comfortable around her in text and know about her more so you don't freak out when you see her. Also, another step that could take you closer is actually calling her. Never lie to a girl and say you're this instead of that because they WILL find out. I don't know if she goes to your school or not, but if she does then that'll help in getting to meet her. ^.^ Hope I helped.