View Full Version : The possibilty of mild Aspergers


Crazygirl79
02-03-13, 04:36 AM
As some of the older forum members may remember I have discussed my younger brother on here before.

He is still causing the same kind of issues issues for Mum at home in terms of extreme bad behaviour and he's now 19.

Many years ago it was thought that he had traits of ADD and possible ODD but he was never diagnosed or treated for these things as the doctor at the time didn't believe it was needed, his high IQ which is in the superior to gifted range masks a lot of the issues he has and now he is studying to be a doctor.

What's made me question whether or not he might have a milder case of Aspergers to a lesser extent compared to myself as well as the possible ODD is the following...

1: Having to pretend he's someone he's not particularly around others
2: Moderate to high levels of anxiety over minor as well as major things
3: Always having to be in complete control of situations
4: Taking his anger on family members primarily my mother
5: Making comments that sometimes sound a bit odd
6: Having odd responses to different things
7: A possible fear of moving out of home

He is doing exceptionally well at college, he has a long term casual job, a lovely girlfriend, a group of decent friends and a lot of potential to be very successful in his life but it's 1, 2, 3 and 4 that make me concerned and I would really like see it addressed before he has a major meltdown or something.

1 worries me because there is nothing worse than having to feel like you have to put on an act and pretend to be someone you're not in order to fit in, keep up a certain image and be accepted...I know this all too well as I have AS (though my difference is more obvious)

2 worries me because again there is nothing worse than anxiety and it can and does hinder people's lives.

3 worries me because I don't know how he'll cope if he's ever in a situation that's out his control and he doesn't deal too well with anything when he's not in control of it as it is.

4 worries me because he's a strong man, he goes to the gym and has some martial arts behind him...he is quiet intimidating and my mother is often frightened of him...I suspect his anger comes from a lot of things including the fear of losing control.

In terms of responding in an odd manner to various situations, for example my mother is unwell and is attending a lot of hospital appointments and he responds in a angry sounding tone "Just get it f**king fixed now" while being fearful at the same time however he will assist her when she's really unwell.

In terms of the possible fear of leaving home, my mother offered to move out, put the lease in his name now that he's older and instead of being "Wow the oldies are going and I get the house to myself..party time" like most kids would he was like "No, you can't move out, what am I going to do?"

All of this worries me because we all know that despite his high IQ and success in life there is something different about him and while mum and I are not professionals we know whatever it is needs to be diagnosed and addressed before something goes majorly wrong in his life...

I am only looking for objective views, sound knowledge of ASD and sound advice not judgment, ridicule or negativity towards myself or my family....I'm still reeling over the sh*t I copped from people in my last thread in the relationships and social issues sub-forum, it's changed how I see a lot of people on here and it's not positive so please try and stick to the subject and only write posts that are useful and helpful in someway...

Sel :(

fracturedstory
02-03-13, 07:46 AM
No 1 could be mimicry. If he does have AS we can tend to mimic other people's behaviours. Mine is just involuntary.

I don't know about O.D.D. I mean mine is worse than that and I think I'm mild. I don't think he'd get very far in a job or in a relationship with untreated O.D.D.

A way to find out is if he is constantly arguing.

Sorry you had such a hard time in another thread.

I've got a sub-type of autism called pathological demand avoidance syndrome. We are more controlling people. Having things out of our control gives us immense anxiety and we often appear rude when we react to it. We're also social manipulators. So that sounds closer to what your brother has other than O.D.D.

I think he definitely does need treatment, but as one anxious and hating change to another (well, him) you need to stop surprising him with all this information. I know you guys aren't meaning to, but this is where the problem usually lies. You need to really introduce it slowly and make sure the person is calm. I still get angry about sudden changes or even when people just bring it up, but a few people know how to prepare me for changes.

There could be other stressors in his life that are responsible for this behaviour too. I'm sure you've had to carry many different types of stress from different situations with you and it made you impatient with others, less emapthetic and just well, cranky.

Hope I helped in some way.

sarahsweets
02-03-13, 07:59 AM
Selena girl...F**K that other stuff....anyway

I have no science to back any of this up only my sister...when she was little she used to put odd things in her mouth things of unusual textures, she hated having her hair brushed at all, brushing her teeth bothered her. She was awkward socially and at times inappropriate. My Dad and step mom happened to have ties with an organization here in NJ called The Eden Insitute if you google in "Eden institute nj" it has some basic info. I have helped for many years with their 'Eden dreams gala" fundrasiers..They have always dealt with autisim, but 24 years ago when my sister was born very little was know about AS...and one of the pioneers (at least a round here) of AS (sorry I forget her name) offered to work with her..and thats when I learned about Asbergers syndrome. Now that the DSM is going to eliminate AS from the manual and call it autisim spectrum disorder maybe the basic 'about autisim' section can shed some light? Its real basic because their organization focuses on education, job placement, and life skills, but some people have learned somethings from their site instead of using WebMD or Wiki...just a thought. We found out she was "stimming" with all of those usual physical reactions to things. She was able to fly through HS,and college with some kind of generic liberal arts degree. Ironically she recently went back to school to learn dog and cat grooming and does that now because she said "dogs and cats just love you and they dont talk back" I am not making much sense I guess...I will try and formulate a coherent thought later.


I am only looking for objective views, sound knowledge of ASD and sound advice not judgment, ridicule or negativity towards myself or my family....I'm still reeling over the sh*t I copped from people in my last thread in the relationships and social issues sub-forum, it's changed how I see a lot of people on here and it's not positive so please try and stick to the subject and only write posts that are useful and helpful in someway...

Sel :(

Crazygirl79
02-03-13, 08:18 AM
Fracturedstory: I have heard of PDAS and I will look further into that...

Sarahsweets: I was being defensive sadly but thanks....

Sel x

Crazygirl79
02-03-13, 08:30 AM
Fracturedstory: I've just looked PDAS and yes it describes a lot of his behaviours....

http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/related-conditions/pda-pathological-demand-avoidance-syndrome.aspx

Sel x

fracturedstory
02-04-13, 04:42 AM
I hope your brother gets the help he needs.

The Eden Centre sounds great. People are trying to put me in support services but it never works. I really need to put into these programs as a kid. I will keep trying I guess. I have very little direction today because I've been quite ill.

Anyway, best of luck to you.