With the thread about having a single site on the forum, made me think of both side of it...is it good or bad for " people with add/adhd to be a couple.
Personaly i have never been with a person like me. I can see some good to it lol and some bad...but i am sure some of you have had the experience. I am very curious to know what you all think on the matter.

Digitl who's becoming a poll queen :p

I see it as a good thing, of course there will be many unpaid bills, lots of sleepless nights, going far places all the time without planning, getting lost as a team, and enjoy doing crazy things at normal places.

T-Bass

It would completely depend on the degree to which the partners have learnt to cope. The skill set each brings to a relationship will determine the degree of difficulty they experience, whether or not they have ADHD.

I've seen partners without any formal diagnosis of anything in particular but both had poor life skills. It was a disaster. I'm sure there are examples of ADHD types for whom their maturity and skills make it a vibrant and very desireable match.
Cheers! Ian.

Oooh! Oooh! I want to chime in on this one! As an ADHD with an ADHD partner I'd like to say that we're a perfect match. The way ADHD plays out in us is exactly the same, and we've both spent our lives being misunderstood and yelled at for our inattentiveness, forgetfulness, and our other ADHD qualities. But with each other, we empathize, we understand, and we'd NEVER get mad at the other for displaying qualities we have ourselves. We actually find them endearing in each other. We finish each others sentences, we don't need a 'male to female' interpretuer. We support each other emotionally in all areas - including dealing with ADHD and the troubles it can bring on. We are better people than we've ever been when we're around each other. We understand the hardships of each other's lives growing up with and dealing with ADHD. As a matter of fact Digitl, I'm 40 years old and E-boy is the only man I've ever fallen in love with. I've been married & had boyfriends (because that's just what women do, and I hate being alone) but not until 40 did I fall in love. I'm sure not all ADHD people match, but in our case, we match perfectly.

I think a relationship with two people struggling the same can be the most loving. I remember growing up, the best of my guy friends, I always butt heads with. We were too much alike. Know-it-all attitudes and the works! I have experienced that in my young adult hood as well. My fiance and I are day and night and we have the most loving relationship. I think mainly because he is so understanding and he is kind of a coach in a way. I am really thankful=)

It would completely depend on the degree to which the partners have learnt to cope. The skill set each brings to a relationship will determine the degree of difficulty they experience, whether or not they have ADHD.

I've seen partners without any formal diagnosis of anything in particular but both had poor life skills. It was a disaster. I'm sure there are examples of ADHD types for whom their maturity and skills make it a vibrant and very desireable match.
Cheers! Ian.
I have quoted Ian above because I think his explanation is a close as one can get to reality.

Any relationship must stand the test of time, and that probably holds truer for ADD'ers than for many others. Many are impulsive, and that "could" cause many major problems in a relationship.

Thankfully, both Andrei and myself aren't impulsive ADD'ers. But we are crazy together. Since 2000, we have kept each other laughing, interested in each others dreams, each others desires, each others ambitions, we have seen through death and loss, attempted murder on ourselves, stalked, burglaries all by= [Andrei's X:mad: ]. But we are still very much in love. Our marriage is strong and thriving. Sure we have our fights, what a mess if we didn't. But the making up is wonderful.:p

Andrei has stood by me through PTSD that very few men could actually take the result of. He has encouraged me to be myself, be true to myself.

I am very forgetful, but we laugh over this. Andrei is always setting off alarms and setting the house on fire. That's ok, I'm used to it, and we laugh about it.

Deep down, we both have strengths, and early in our relationship we worked out who was strong at what, and we used that to our advantage. Andrei does what he is better than I at, and I do what I am better than he is at. In the end, not only did it even out, but we each became better at what we previously weren't so good at. Now we are smack in the middle and both pull our full weight.

Hehehhee, I found a pile of Andrei's things laying around yesterday, and I hid them so well. But he paid me back by throwing a rose at my head. One problem, it appeared that this rose had merely jumped off my desk, straight out of a vase, as Andrei was not in the room. I really thought I was getting more nutz. :eek:

Andrei is also a very beautiful writer, and one thing we do do is write to each other. Our communications in private are extremely loving, and caring.
The joking we do on this forum is an expression of the love we have, but by no means the depth.
I could go on and on, but bottom line, it takes maturity, it takes love and yes, I mean the "verb" love.

We both talked this over a while ago, and realized how fortunate we really are.

Never discount a relationship with a fellow ADD'er; it can be bliss.

I also strongly support Ians take on this topic. The success or failure of a relationship will be determined by the life skills and attitude brought into the relationship by both partners.

The BO X from the previous relationship was intolerant in the extreme of my ADHD.

This non ADD person and has gone on to become a dangerous sick individual who has continued to stalk me for ten years, and now stalks both Viktoria and myself. The behaviour became worse and dangerous when Viktoria and I married.

In very stark contrast to the past, my wife Viktoria is a very Beatiful lady, both on the inside and outside and who has ADD. Viktoria and I have a degree of tolerance and understanding of ADD in each other that I now personally believe to be impossible in non ADD people. We laugh and play together and accept each others strengths and weaknesss. Both of us have become stronger in some areas, with love, support and laughter having pulled us through some major life traumas.

Life with an ADD partner can be filled with great love if both are prepared to work together, be tolerant and supportive.

Along with her ADD, Viktoria has incredible artistic and musical talent. Our very modest home is beautifully decorated, warm and welcoming,through her talents. Her beauty is right through to the soul and Im one very lucky man to be loved by her.

All my love and kisses to Viktoria, :-x :-x :-x

Andrei





Originally Posted by itschaotic
It would completely depend on the degree to which the partners have learnt to cope. The skill set each brings to a relationship will determine the degree of difficulty they experience, whether or not they have ADHD.

I've seen partners without any formal diagnosis of anything in particular but both had poor life skills. It was a disaster. I'm sure there are examples of ADHD types for whom their maturity and skills make it a vibrant and very desireable match.
Cheers! Ian.