Our son is 7 and has attended a small private Lutheran school since Kindergarten (he is in 2nd grade now). He started seeing a speech therapist at the public elementary school about 18 months ago, and about 4 months ago she said that she thinks he might have Asperger's. After reading up some more on AS, I think she is probably right (and I probably have it as well - I knew I was different, now I know what to call it :D ). We are waiting for him to be evaluated and diagnosed through the public school, but it is a slow process and has been complicated by the fact he goes to private school.

Even if he isn't diagnosed with Asperger's, we do feel that he is lacking in social development. He sometimes acts very immature for his age, and usually prefers to play with younger kids. He is TERRIFIED of new social situations, although he usually does well once we make him get involved in a group activity. Based on all this, we are trying to make the decision whether to keep him in private school or move him to the public school system. We are in a very good school district, and he is a very bright kid, so I think he will do well academically no matter which way we go.

But our biggest concern with the private school is class size. It's a new school that just started up when he was in Kindergarten, and has added a new grade each year, so he will always be in the highest grade - and smallest class - at that school. When he was in Kindergarten, there were 10 kids in his class, which we thought was great. His 1st grade class shrunk to 4 students, which had me concerned. His 2nd grade class is 2 students including our son, which raised a lot of red flags in my mind. In fact, I was ready to pull him out last fall, but my wife and I weren't on the same page until after the mention of AS.

We are concerned about him being picked on, but on the other hand we don't want to continue to shelter him. He's going to have to learn to deal with these social situations eventually - I guess now is better than when he's 20. I'm just trying to get some input from other people, with and without Asperger's, and especially if you have made the transition from private to public schools.

TIA.

Mike, I'll try to answer tomorrow night--its late and I'm very tired right now.

Mike,
I found out about 2 months ago that I've got quite a few Aspie traits. Probably not enought to pass any kind of "official" diagnosis, but enough so that learning about it filled in the gaps by explaining problems I've had throughout my life that ADHD didn't explain.
My thoughts on the matter are as follows:
If your son is an Aspie, don't try to force him to be "normal". For instance, Aspies tend to have very intense interest in just a few things, and they may be slightly unusual. Don't try to break his interest in these things; instead, channel these interests so he becomes really, really good at them.

I took an obsessive interest in Ford diesel pickup truck engines and turned it into an internet based business selling high performance items such as injectors, turbochargers and engines on a nationwide scale, and a also mechanic shop.
The modified injectors are completely my own invention--I was sick and unable to work for a couple of months and spent 8+ hours a day for over 2 months studying one single fuel injector until I knew more about it than the engineers who designed it.

I took an obsessive interest in 4x4 trucks and built an off-road truck that has been featured in several national magazines.

As far as public school goes, let your son be part of the decision; don't force him to go to either school. If he likes the idea of being around lots of other kids in public school, let him go. If he goes, but finds out he can't handle it, let him change.
I found school emotionally exhausting and hated every minute of every day. I went to both public and private schools over the years, but was more comfortable in small schools and small classes.
I whole heartedly agree that he will have to learn to deal with life and social situations; just learn what his limits are, how much he can take, how much is too much, and let that guide you.
Aspies tend to have a very low threshold for tolerating the stimulus of social situations, and too much is very, very difficult to deal with.

One thing to be aware of is that he may be completely clueless in terms of understanding the normal day-to-day social interactions that we all encounter every minute of every day of our lives. There is a very complex structure of social behaviors in every culture. Unwritten, unspoken, but something most people pick up naturally, just as a child learns to speak by hearing other people speak.

If he is an Aspie, other people's behavior can be a completely foreign language to him--body language, eye contact, tone of voice, facial expressions will all be meaningless to him. Then, when he doesn't react "properly" to these social cues, people will be very, very unnerved by him.
I hope this helps you.

I would have been much happier in a tiny school, where I knew everyone and everyone knew me. I am ADD. I was MISERABLE in school. Everyone thought I was weird. No one knew I am ADD.
School is NOT a normal social situation. Adults almost never have to deal with the casual cruelty that goes on in school daily. Adults are not espected to have 30 best friends. I agree that he may want a choice. But a small school could be a really good thing.
Touched a chord. Hope I am not being too heavy in my reaction.

I think he would be more likely to learn to understand social cues in a small, low-key setting. Also, he probably doesn't do well with changes. I vote for keeping him in the private school. Sheer classroom size in most public schools negatively impacts learning.