I am a Christian and was just diagnosed in August (I'm 23) and am at a loss as to how to deal with being a Christian and having ADHD. I know this might seem stupid but I just feel this weird mixture of guilt (that I should be able to get past this), shame (I feel like I'm weak), anger (why does God let people have this?) and resentment (enough crap hasn't happened in my life, this had to be added?! does He not see my pain?). Also frustration at people not understanding. I know I'm complaining and I'm sorry to bother anyone with this. I never think that other people with this could get over it because intellectually I understand that this is something that is not chosen, but with myself, I don't know. When I first heard, and I went back to school, college, I had a prof tell me that IF it existed, that I must have sinned and not repented and that this was God's way of punishing me and that if I repented, it would go away. He said the same thing about depression (which I also have, but I didn't reveal that at that time). So I dropped his class, but what he said still reverberates in my head and it's become something I really wonder about. What do you all think? I know God is here, but sometimes I can't feel Him. I need help.

I'm a priest, and I can tell you firstly that this is not God's way of punishing you. God is not trying to stick it to you. These things are genetic, mostly, and so really they are simply natural. God will not hold you accountable for those things that happen beyond your control.

Dear distracted23I am a Hindu by birth but I love Lord Jesus and I love Mother Mary even more. I have followed and tried to learn about all paths, religion and am full of God(and so are You)

You are not born out of sin distracted you are born out of love. To hold a human birth chain..a creation of a new life as a sin or a mistake needs probing, another look at it..

I feel your pain and boy I have lost count of times when I have shed hot angry tears and been angry at God and questioned the same things that u have asked now.

we are not here to learn the lessons or to pay for our sins..we are here to remember who we are..and for that we need to experience the pain, fear, darkness for to experience Love fully one needs to experience pain too..just as day can not be experienced without night..

forgive me I sound too prechey because I hate to preach religion or deliver sermons..

is Life Easy or is it difficult? I dont know..it depends..there are certain moment when u feel the flow and life is in motion, movement..and at other times life feels like blocked..and one feels trapped inside a cage..

I tried learning about life so to escape pain, the experience..I tried learning about religion, philosophy, life, relationships, God..everything...after reading countless books, after thinking about zillion times on my life..I am still there from where I started life..ultimately life is in the present moment..where we are now..and we carry the present emotions, learning that we can carry now..sometimes you can adjust to spirituality, religion to a perfect tee other times you just yell at everyone, self, God..and even that is perfectly alright.

God is in your heart and in your breath..if you think of Lord Jesus as a punisher that will serve no one..neither the Lord nor you nor the world that you live in..boy just imagine Lord Jesus taking a whip in HIS Divine hands and punishing you..just the image makes me repel..for I think God empotimizes, is EQUAL to LOVE. To confuse GOD with power, judgement, sins, punishing is to Bring God to Human level.

if you start feeling sorry for who u are..you are admitting that You are a mistake that God have erred and has been wrong in creating you..and that God created a imperfect world..

There is perfection everywhere..its just that sometimes it gets hard to accept such perfection in ourselves and in the world around us..

However the dark the view, however bad it feels at heart to have ADD, depression, failures, low life..probs everywhere..God Loves you still even with all your views about HIM/HER.

Its not easy to love back God when having severe depression and panic attacks like I have..but then I think of something that represents God for me..like nature, Friends, Efriends, music..there is a facet of God in all thats there in this world..

if You were to think of an image of God think of one that would make you stand tall..and be proud of who you are..for thats God. To be anything less than who you are and to be sorry for your being is not God..its Fear, its chains of organized religion that needs you to fear to pay for the sins and for the church/temple/mosque

I hope I havent offended your beliefs or delivered a sermon in here..I share from heart..


Wishing You Self Love in Your Journey in Life..

Nachi.

Distracted,

Now I have to tell you this -
When I was pregnant with my second baby I found out he would need immediate surgery when he was born. I prayed and prayed during the whole pregnancy that he would be alright. When he was born my cervix closed around his neck and strangled him to death. Distraught doesn't cover the feelings I had. Then a few days later my sister told me that while she was walking home from the store she passed a neighbor's house where a mother and daughter were talking. She heard the daughter ask her mother why I lost my baby, and the mother replied, "She didn't pray enough dear".
Some people are idiots Distracted.
Sickness doesn't fall upon people when we sin and then magically disappear when we repent. It would be great if it worked that way, no one would die of cancer or anything else but natural old age. We'd all just repent every day and life would be grand.
ADHD is not a curse, it's a difference. Children that are born mentally retarded didn't even have time to sin...so why would they be punished? My baby didn't sin in my womb, so why was he in need of surgery?
Knowing and feeling are two totally seperate things. Knowing is what matters sweety.

Wow, your teacher said what!? Interesting. Anyways, I'm also 23 and wasn't raised a strict Christian but have the exact same thoughts you do. I have problems with certain Christian beliefs and attitudes (like the one your teacher has) and this prevents me from completely embracing the religion. I do however feel I have a relationship with God and at first asked the same "why?" questions you do. First of all, God is not punishing you. If you indeed have ADHD, you were born with it. I can't imagine you did something in the womb to make God punish you.

Second of all, you're treating your diagnoses like it was a death sentence. You should probably be looking at the diagnoses like it was good news. Think about it, if you have ADHD, you've probably wondered your whole life why you could never pay attention, why you suffered in school, struggled with jobs, etc. You may have thought you were stupid. I know I did when I was young. However when you're told you have ADHD, not only does it mean you're not dumb, but you're most likely gifted! For some reason that is a mystery to the medical world, a high intelligence and ADHD seem to go hand in hand. Do some research, you'll see. Look up a list of famous people with ADHD. You'll see a list that will include Einstein, Edison, Jefferson and whole myriad of geniuses.

I also catch myself getting angry with God for things that happen in my life. It is my belief though that our life is going to be full of struggles. I feel that our purpose in life is to meet these hard times and rise above them and that makes us better people. Unfortunately, I don't think were on this planet to cruise. What would be the fun in that?


"When life smacks you in the face, you kick it in it's balls."

beautifullly said, share E-girl and its so endearing that you saw, see Light beneath what must have been so painful memory. You are beautiful:)

Nachi


Any fool can know. The point is to understand. ...Albert Einstein A human being is a part of a whole, called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughtsand feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. ...Albert Einstein

What a nice thing to say Nachi. I feel all hugged and accepted. :)

I can so relate to this...many years ago when I was at the University I was a part of a "Christian Youth Group" and struggling with MASSIVE depression, coming from an abusive home, drug and alcohol problems. I was told over and over again that I must not "really" believe or I would not feel the way I did or have the problems I did. The long and the short of it was attempted suicide, but I survived. No one found me (drug overdose) and later I learned that I had enough drugs in me to kill a horse!

At that point I realized that I really did have a relationship with a power greater than myself and that that power wanted me here, had a plan for me, knew that I was struggling and would see me through. It took years of therapy to straighten out all the confusing, destructive messages that I had ingrained from birth on, but I refused to give in. I just knew that life could be better than what it had been...that happiness had to exist and I was determined to find it.

I have since come to see that what "religious people" (coz it's not always just Christians) pass on are their interpretations and that they aren't always right.

I dealt with your questions as follows...it allowed me to move on and open myself up for help, enlightenment, life.

Guilt (I should be able to get past this) - I will get past this. I will follow up on whatever it takes until I find the path that takes me to a better place.

Shame - We are not weak just unaware of why we do what we do. Therefore, self-awareness and learning how and why we are what we are is the key. Shame is a healthy emotion as long as you don't ignore it or wallow in it. It helps us define for ourselves right and wrong. If I make a mistake I get out there and apologize and try and make amends, and then adjust my value system accordingly.

Anger - use the energy it provides to get going and make changes. Again, a powerful emotion that can give us great strength as long as we don't wallow in it. Why me? Because, so get off you behind and do something about it if you don't like it!

Resentment - don't I have enough pain? Yes, the pain is unfair, but many things in life are and I'm determined to rise above it. Does anyone (God or otherwise) see or care? Yes, if I let them. I have to actively open myself up or suffer alone, my choice.

Frustration - understandable. We can barely begin to define for ourselves what we are struggling with. Keep reaching out. We live. We learn. We connect sometimes and others not, but the effort is worth it in the end.

Well, this turned into quite a long post! Remember that what I've said was how I dealt with it and in no way "instructions" on how to deal with it. I just wanted to let you know that you were not alone or the only one who has asked these questions.

Hang in there. Keep searching. Keep reaching out for answers.

Kim

Some good thoughts here. I am a relatively new Christian myself...but I am a little shocked that some are being told it is a punishment from God :eek:

A very close friend whom I share all things w/ gave me a "never again list" which I refer to when I am questioning things like why me? I believe that if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

The never again list has been posted here (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9722) but it does not show all the things on my own list. So I shall repost here :)

My Never Again List:

Never again will I confess "I can't" for "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Phil. 4:13

Never again will I confess lack for "My God shall supply all of my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19

Never again will I confess fear, for "God hath not given me the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." II Tim. 1:17

Never again will I confess doubt and lack of faith, for "God hath given to every man the measure of faith." Rom. 12:3

Never again will I confess weakness, for "The Lord is the strength of my life." Ps. 27:1

Never again will I confess supremacy of Satan over my life, for "Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world." I John 4:4

Never again will I confess I am depressed for "I can recall to mind God's loving kindness, compassion, and faithfulness, and have hope." Lamentations 3:21-23

Never again will I confess defeat, for "God always causeth me to triumph in Christ Jesus." II Cor. 2:14

Never again will I confess lack of wisdom, for "Christ Jesus is made unto me wisdom of God." I Cor. 1:30

Never again will I confess sickness, for "With His stripes I am healed." Isa. 53:5, and Jesus "Himself took my infirmities and bare my sicknesses." Matt. 8:17

Never again will I confess worries and frustrations, for I am "Casting all my cares upon Him who careth for me." I Pet. 5:7

Never again will I confess bondage, for "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." II Cor. 3:17

Never again will I confess condemnation, for "there is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus." Rom. 8:1

Never again will I confess loneliness, Jesus said, "Lo I am with you always, even unto the end of the world." Matt. 28:20 and "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Heb. 13:5

Never again will I confess curses or bad luck, for "Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us; that the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we may receive the promise of the Spirit through faith." Gal. 3:13&14

Never again will I confess discontent, because 'I have learned, in whatsoever state (circumstances ) I am, therewith to be content." (independent of circumstances) Phil. 4:11

Never again will confess unworthiness, because 'He hath made Him to be sin for us, who knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him." 2 Cor. 5:21

Never again will I confess confusion, for 'God is not the author of confusion, but of peace,." I Cor. 14:33

Never again will I confess persecution, for "God is not the author of confusion, but of peace." I Cor. 14:33

Never again will I confess the domination of sin over my life, for "The law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death" Rom. 8:2 and "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us." Psa. 103:12

Never again will I confess Insecurity, because "When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid; Yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet...for the Lord is thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken." Prov.3:24

Never again will I confess failure because, "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us." Room 8:37

Never again will I confess frustration, for " Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee; because he trusteth in Thee." Isa. 26:3

Never again will I confess fear of the future, "But as it is written, eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him, but God hath revealed them unto us by His Holy Spirit." I Cor. 2:9-10

Never again will I confess troubles because Jesus said, "In the world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

I also am a christian and I have add, depression, substance abuse issues that started to numb the pain of growing up being abused, unwanted, neglected, sexually abused, drugs in the house, boose partys (I was a small child). Watching my mom get beat up and waiting for her boyfriend to just kill her one day. anxiety disorder and basicly I am a mess!!! I want a realtionship with the lord and know with his strength I can turn this "mess" aroung and need to stop feeling so worthless and hopeless and like a looser that nobody wants. I have felt unworthy to pray. I joined a small group at my church called purpose drivin life "to hopefully find my purpose here besides to suffer. I sometimes have a hard time trusting God when I think, where was he when I was a small innocent child being abused and thrown away?? going through hell?? What did I do to deserve all of that?? I don't know if I will ever find the answer, but I want a relationship with him now, but was he not around because I was unworthy?? As a child though?? and will he accept me now even though I am a complete mess?? It's hard. Kim

Kimh20,

I have done the Purpose Driven Life, with Rick Warren. This is an excellent study...you can learn a lot if you are open to it.

Reading your post about your childhood was almost like you had been writing about mine. I know how dark and scary it can be when we were just children trying to deal with things we should have never seen. You can heal from this.
Feel free to PM me. I would love to be an encouragement for you.

Know this, God was there. He was watching you. He was watching me. Yes, God is a God of wrath. This wrath is not spilled out on his children. To his children, he is a God of love. That may be hard to swallow. You think if he loved you, you should have never had to go through any of that. It is so hard, until we have healed, to let go of the feeling that we were abandoned. I believe that the Lord allows us to go through things to enable us to become what he intended us to be. I believe that I lived through all of that, because he needed me strong for something great he was going to use me for. I believe that because he was with me then to keep things from getting any worse, he will surely be with me now. He can heal your heart and all it has suffered through. Pray to him what you wrote in your post and ask him to give you strength and understanding for his will in your life.

God bless you, tender heart. Seek him and he will show himself to you.


Distracted23,

I am infuriated by what your professor told you. It is a shame that such ignorance is put in a position of leadership.

GOD CREATED YOU AS HE WANTED YOU TO BE. You are as unique as the leaves on the trees. You are beautiful to him as you are.

I understand that you have guilt about it. Please let go of it.
Guilt is a tool the devil uses to keep us from closeness with God. If Christ's blood is sufficient to cleanse us of our sins, then why do we feel guilty?

ADD is not leprosy. ADD can be the gift he meant it to be. Sweetheart, just pray for understanding. It can be so much to deal with at once. We still struggle with the stigma that it is a disorder for crazy, weak people. It is not.
It is how we chose to deal with it that can make us crazy and weak. We were all created in his image. Find strength in this. He will never give us more than we can handle. He sometimes gives us a lot at once to mold us into stronger servants. He means for something great in your life. Have faith in this.

God bless!

We live in a very strict and bounded society of rules and punishments. We are all socialized in the conventional wisdom by our parents, our school, our peers, and unfortunately our churches.

The Christian religion has lost whatever role it had in the teaching of spirituality and has become scantily more than an extention of our socialization, which teaches us what's good and bad, right and wrong. Christianity even has a place to put the people who behave badly or do not adhear to its standards.

Christianity has become highly doctrinal, rigid, and mostly divisive. Doctrine is always divisive and leaves people out. Spirituality is all inclusive and brings everyone together. Christianity has taken Jesus' beautiful concepts of love and grace, and somehow turned them into a punishment and reward system, which is ironically the type of system he was rebelling against in first century Judaism.

Christains say that they stand for, and teach a system of Grace and forgiveness, but everyone I know is still living in the system of conventional wisdom of laws, punishments, fear and guilt. How many people do you know who live under the system of Grace? If the church is teaching the sytem of Grace, they are doing a tremendously poor job.

Jesus was rebelling against the Jewish "purity system" where people were judged based on their accomplishment, wealth, health, gender, age, beauty, and sin. The average Jew had to make numberous trips to the temple for his ritual bath to wash his away his sins. Today people go to church to feel clean, and bask a communion of snobbery with other pure people who all subscribe to the same standards. How things have changed! Jesus was trying to demolish the idea of placing a persons value on a set of rigid standards of good and bad, proper and improper, right and wrong. He taught that it's not what you do that makes you pure, rather it is what you are that makes you pure. And what you are is a beautiful, worthy, secure and whole person. Jesus taught that when you realize your inner purity, then you will become more outwardly pure, not the other way around.

It's very ironic, as well as bewildering that our society, driven mainly by orthodoxed Christian docrine, has barely learned anything from the message of Jesus. Why did this happen? Well, put it this way: you just can't become very important or make any money from a message of love, grace and wholeness. Instead the modern Chistian message of unworthiness that stresses sin, guilt, fear, and punishment keep the masses somber, low, needy, guilty, passive and most of all, coming back.

Hope I didn't offend anyone. These are just my views.

I agree to a point! I have felt very judged in my church. When I got baptized and had to give my testimony, alchol and addiction were part of that testimony. I did it to numb the pain of my childhood. Once I announced to all I was a recovering alc/addict, I had no friends anymore! I felt avoided like the palgue by everyone exept the pastor and his wife (maybe one other person) but generly, it seemed the whole entire rest of the church ignored me. I worked for someone in the church at the time and got fired shortly after telling my story. It was horrible. Everyone seems to put on the face the "church face" that everything is wonderful and not a problem in the world. Nothing bad ever happens to them EVER!!!! So when I come out with inside hurts or feelings I need to get out and share, I feel like I am bursting everyones bubble. Like how dare I come to perfect world with problems??? In the study I'm in, I am there to do this for ME and strengthen my relationship wtih God, so if it helps me to share, good or bad, while everyone is smiling and laughing, I shall speak what is on my mind!!! Didn't jesus?? he didn't say what everyone else wanted to hear! He spoke his mind good or bad. I'm trying to take the attitude that I too shall share my honest oppinion even if people feel uncomfordible listening to hoe it may relate to feelings of "when I was little, i didn't think God loved me either because no one else did. or where was he when I watched my mom get beat and so on" otherwise, how will I ever overcome these feelings by keeping everything in and smiling just to make everyone happy and comfortible?? Maybe it will let them realize they can share hurts too!! It doesn't all have to (or will never be) perfect. kim

I also am a christian and I have add, depression, substance abuse issues that started to numb the pain of growing up being abused, unwanted, neglected, sexually abused, drugs in the house, boose partys (I was a small child). Watching my mom get beat up and waiting for her boyfriend to just kill her one day. anxiety disorder and basicly I am a mess!!! I want a realtionship with the lord and know with his strength I can turn this "mess" aroung and need to stop feeling so worthless and hopeless and like a looser that nobody wants. I have felt unworthy to pray. I joined a small group at my church called purpose drivin life "to hopefully find my purpose here besides to suffer. I sometimes have a hard time trusting God when I think, where was he when I was a small innocent child being abused and thrown away?? going through hell?? What did I do to deserve all of that?? I don't know if I will ever find the answer, but I want a relationship with him now, but was he not around because I was unworthy?? As a child though?? and will he accept me now even though I am a complete mess?? It's hard. KimI can relate to feeling like a complete mess, but I take courage from the story of Jesus friendship with Mary Magdalene. She was a pretty big mess too, but she was the first person he showed himself to after his resurrection, before he even went to see his Father. Remember the poor publican in the temple who beat his chest and said,"God be merciful to me a sinner". Jesus told his disciples that that man rather than the church leader went home right with God that day. Jesus had a habit of hanging out and loving messes (big mouthed Peter; tax collector Matthew, many other folks with a "history" were frequently sharing meals with him! I think there's room at the table for us too!

Scattered

Scattered,

The Lord used you today to speak to my heart. Thank you for being receptive to his leading.

Bless you!
Ronni

(enough crap hasn't happened in my life, this had to be added?! does He not see my pain?)
Hey,

This may be too abstract to be helpful, but God is always an unknown quantity in our suffering. For example:

"Why did thousands of people die in the recent tsunami?" For all we know, twice as many might have died without divine intervention. We don't know.
In your case, maybe your ADD would have been worse without God pulling for you (which He is).

Tangentially, I read a few posts from folks who find modern Christianity a bit rigid. Having ADD, I think I unconsciously sought out a highly structured church (Eastern Rite Catholic). It can be difficult, but it's marvelously gratifying. Just adding a balancing voice to the topic.