I tend to be finicky about my knitting projects: i.e., it really pi$$es me off when I see that I've made an error. But I'll still continue and finish the piece I'm knitting, even though I know I screwed up a little stitch.

However, maybe because of the dex and maybe not, I'm going all OCD about it, double checking my work every five minutes, taking twice as long to do everything because I'm so *******' careful and acting like I am just learning how to knit...and instead of seeing a flaw and just keeping on working anyway, I ripped out a week's worth of work on a sweater last night, because I just couldn't stand to see that flaw and couldn't fix it well enough to make it look good again.

Does dexamphetamine cause some sort of weird neurotic thing?

Chrys

is dexawhatever an ADD drug? Cause if so...I bet you're just FOCUSING more on what you're doing...thereby making you feel like you're doing it for the first time because you notice every move of your hands, and ever stitch seems HUGE to you. LOL so a bad stitch would drive you BATTY!

....or i could be totally wrong. That's never happened before...but who knows?

No, I've heard/read that stimulant drugs can create or exacerbate obsessive compulsiveness in some people.

I don't know, y'all. We still don't even know if I have ADD. (Yes, this is an ADD drug--it's a powerful amphetamine, actually, and until I joined this forum, I thought it must be uncommon to be prescribed vs. Ritalin or Strattera or something like that.)I've been put on this drug to see if it improves my memory problems. It does seem to be working--I seem to be focused more, concentrating more, thus, as a result, retaining more information.

Only problem is that even when one focuses and concentrates with knitting, one can slip or drop a stitch by accident or make some other mistake (y'all probably dont' understand what I'm saying, but a knitter would understand the words "slip" and "drop" in reference to things that can really mess up your work if done unintentionally. Basically, I can end up with a big hole somewhere, or something can just unravel all the way down a vertical line in the knitted peice, thus undoing hours of work.)

Don't get me wrong. It used to bother me quite badly when that happened. But now it's a much bigger deal and before, I would have tried to fix it, whereas now, I just say, "screw it, it's not going to look perfect anymore," and rip it all out.

Ugh. On a good note--I think this is a characteristic of ADD, correct me if I'm wrong--I seem to be more motivated to "finish what I've started." Like, I would make a hat easily, because that takes a few hours, period. But on several occasions, I've started a new project, been really excited about it, and then, because it really time-consuming and might have taken a week to finish, I just make, like, the back and two sleeves of a XL-size men's sweater, toss it aside and start on something else. But I've found myself digging out those unfinished projects, finding the yarn that I would have used to finish it, and finishing them.

That's an ADD thing, right? I mean, ditching stuff after a while because you just don't have the patience and want to get it done instantly, rather than make something that's definitely going to take a while?

Chrys

Adderall can make a person more anxious (and aggressive) and I would think that this would exacerbate any neurotic tendancies they had. The increased frustration could be an indication that your dose is too large??? Or you just haven't gotten used to it yet??? (I'm guessing here). What would you have done previously in the sweater situation - where you can't fix it without it looking bad? It depends on the specifics, but you could agrue that to rip out the work and fix it is the most patient thing to do if the perfection of the sweater is important - why waste the work that's gone into it prior to the error. But if say "warmth" was the goal, then undoing a lot of work to fix a visual imperfection might be neurotic - or just a sign of a perfectionist, which is OK too unless it's extream (?)

It sounds like it might be too high a dose for you, or you need something else. Adderral increased dopamine, which is the focusing transmitter, so it sounds like your focusing too much. maybe Strattera or Wellbrutin might be more for you

Oh, no. I'm not on Adderall. I'm on Dextroamphetamine. Plus, I think it might be starting to even out since I first posted that message. We'll see. Just raised the dose as scheduled on Friday. Up to 20 mg. now, and am noticing an improvement in my ability to retain info. That was the whole goal in trying this drug.

Also, when we first went down this path of theory (my doc and I, that is) I asked about Strattera. He doesn't like Strattera for some reason; I guess, according to him, he hasn't been pleased with the overall results/effects he's noticed in his patients. And I can't take Wellbutrin--it's a no-no for seizure patients. There's a bit of a warning for dex--and all amphetamines, to be honest--on epileptics. But according to my doctor, who has lots of patients who have seizures + other brain stuff at the same time, he hasn't noticed any seizure activity increase/disruption to speak of. I trust this guy. I've been to a lot of doctors, and most of them just screwed around and didn't get much done and didn't really pay much attention or concentrate thoroughly on me, an independent case and unique human being, rather than me as a part of a group of people that are like me. As my husband puts it, "We don't pay him to try to figure stuff out. He does that too, but the guy gets $hit done, unlike some of those other quacks you've been to."

My dad's kind of leery of it, but then, some doctors are and some aren't (I mentioned this in a thread where someone was complaining that their doctor wouldn't give them a hefty script of Ritalin when other doctors he/she'd been to before did without any problem, and I had to explain that each doctor has their own comfort level. My dad just worries about getting in trouble, about the "tiny fractions of possibility" that something could go wrong and one of his patients could be harmed (you know, like one of those "1 in 1 million" things) or suffer some minor effect and sue him (as we know, that's an epidemic these days--people try to sue for just about anything if they get the chance, no offense to anyone who may have brought a suit to a doc before for legit reasons.)

This doctor is comfortable--especially with me, because he knows I'm generally educated, well-rounded, experienced, and responsible with my healthcare--with doling out (reasonable, but rather liberal, depending on the patient) scripts without much worry. He did get in trouble once, though, when some chick managed to be good enough of an actress to pretend Xanax or Ativan or Valium or something wasn't working at the dose she was on, and managed to get him to write her wayyyy more than she truly needed because she was hooked and managed to hide it from him somehow, and then nearly OD'd on it, and her parents blamed it on him. But he didn't get in serious trouble, and didn't try to hide it from me when I Google-searched him, (which I do with every physician--it's just a good idea in general, and everyone should check up on doctors, since we're paying them rediculous amounts of money and putting our lives/health in their hands.)

My husband has this uncanny knack for sensing out people that are good and people that are bad. I've had faith in people that my husband didn't like from the start and gotten burned, and some other doctors were an example. He likes this doc too, so I think I'm pretty safe with him. He somewhat grudgingly trusts me too, but I frustrate him, because he wants to put me on such-and-such dosage and I say, "No, I think less will work, and I prefer that, so I'm not going to take that much, even if you write for it." Plus, I go against his recommendations and smoke and drink caffeine and pay no mind to "circadian rhythms," (the sleep cycle stuff) and stay up late and then sleep in late. But other than that, I'm responsible! :)

Chrys

Hi KnittingJunkie, when I first went on Dexedrine I noticed OCD-like behaviour would crop up at night when the stuff was wearing off, I'd make an alphabetical list of all my mp3's, organize my email contacts, play endless games of minesweeper, weird stuff like that. I still do that sometimes, but I now think it's more an urge to control the rebound I get when the Dex wears off, my parents would go to bed around the time I'd start feeling like I didn't have as much control and I couldn't walk around the house, so I'd have to find some way to contain myself so I could end up falling asleep. When I stay up late and draw I find it overstimulates my brain and I won't be able to shut up the chatter in there and fall asleep, so I do anal little projects instead.

I got that, till everything got freaked with my parents. They would go to sleep as my meds wore off and idd end up having to be mega quiet so i didnt wake them. As a result i sewed a load of wercked cloathes back together, did loads of drawring and art, read loads and that sort of thing.

Any chance you might post a link to some of it shinobi?

well i was concidering it. For the most part though i dont tend to show people my work. I do loads of design for clients and that but when i produce somthing that shows the insides of me as it were i tend to keep it to myself. My parents saw a big peice of work i did about urban degrodation and colapse of society (somthing i have strong views on) and decided i was violently unstable and going to top myself at any second. As a result my relationship with them is going through another rough patch. I was thinking about putting a link to a piece im currently working on, its in the same theme "urban colapse" but its currently unfinished. It has been developed as a result of many hours off "free drawring" and has many little things that mean somthing more to me than to the casual oserver. Like theres a bit in it with loads of fire, for most that would just be part of the urban colapse thing but for me its also a nod of the hat to somone i once knew. When its done i might post a link to it, if i can find a way to capture it digitaly, coz its a piece on paper. Ive used many diff matireals like charcole and kiddies felt tip pens and even bits of the news paper and some might find it disturbing i guess. But yeah, when its done ill pm you a link and you can decided weather its appropriate for linking in public on the forum if you like.

I'll be looking forward to the finished piece.

This is very confusing.

I'm trying to compare pre-and-post-Dex. As the record shows, I haven't been on this stuff that long, so it shouldn't be as hard as it is!

Well, today I didn't take it, because we've had the stomach flu going around our house. So my brain is like...a very, very slow computer with a horrid virus, chugging along, just barely, with lots of hiccups along the way.

I'm really starting to wonder...

The hyperfocusing thing I'm told I have basically sounds similar to neurosis--like, obsession with things.

The aggression thing miiiiight be possible, of late, but then, if one has many life events which are coming unglued at the same time, abnormal aggression could also be caused by that, too.

I don't even know if this post will make any sense, if anyone will know what to say (if there's something they could say.)

Can't seem to edit my stuff at all tonight, though, so after I hit "submit," it's just out there.

Chrys

just give the drug time. your dr's have no idea what is going on in your head. unless you go to Dr Amen clinic. Most drs play guessing (educated) games. if you can handle the side-effects of the drug, then keep taking them. if they dont seem effective increase your dosage (ask DR). most of the time ADD'ers have multiple problems. Read this book, "Change Your Brain Change Your Life" by dr. Amen, and you will have a good start to understanding our brains.

No worries, I have a very competent doc, promise, or Dr. Daddy wouldn't be ok with me going to him in the first place...and I'm kind of an educated patient, even though I don't always make that very apparent on here, what with the zillion-and-one-questions and all. That's mostly because I'm just impatient, and don't like waiting to get input on an idea, and also rather lazy, as I do have a copy of the PDR about a foot away from my right elbow when I'm typing something @ home (not home right now.

Quite often I just don't want to get a "Call your neuroshrink, that isn't my specialty" from dad, which is his preferred response to questions about this stuff--well, as long as there are no "WARNING! WARNING!: YOUR DAUGHTER MAY DIE!" lights and sirens going off in his head or what have you.

Really won't do anything stupid, this is the head doc I've had for the longest period of time ever and he's cool...so it's all good. He wouldn't play guessing games. He does, however, get annoyed because once in a while, since I joined, I'll get these ideas in my head about knowing stuff he doesn't or thinking of stuff he'd just totally been oblivious to...

He gets a tad frustrated with my contrary, stubborn little butt at times, and I can't blame him... He ain't an egomaniac--he's a good doctor, and as such, he ain't willing to let his smartalecky little redheaded patients put themselves in harm's way in a moment of delusional thought in which she thinks she's been to med school!

Yes, I know, totally contrary to stuff I beg of people here on the forum. Such a hypocrite, being all reckless and vigilante with my medical care--bad Girl! Bad!

Especially unfair because this guy is the only one who's ever stopped my seizures...and he figured out how to do so @ my initial appointment. Trust me...he's good!

Thanks for your helpful advice, though...really nice of you to bother with it.

Chrys