View Full Version : 14 year old immature is this normal


SquarePeg
03-01-13, 12:11 PM
my 14 year old started concerta for adhd last September. Teachers have always said that he is very immature for his age (even in primary school).

I didnīt really notice because my daughter is also the same and to a certain extent so am I (we are all ADHD).

People have often commented on this aspect of his personality and itīs hard for me to really understand what they mean.
I messed about at school a lot and have continued to mess about in my adult life. given any opportunity I will laugh at work and do stupid things at work, especially when bored. I donīt do it on my own though, but I am usually the ringleader, Iīm a bad influence and encourage others to misbehave (but I rarely get caught). Still at 48 I should know better.

He doesnīt do reckless things (any more than others of his age group) in fact, probably less. He will copy stupid things on youtube like try and eat a spoonfull of cinnamon powder. My daughter is nearly 18 and she is like a 15 year old as well.

Will they ever grow up (will I)? I only notice the difference when I see them with friends of their own age, itīs a big difference.

Abi
03-01-13, 12:17 PM
ADHD'ers are as mature as a neurotypical people 70% their age.

So your 14 year old son has the maturity of a 9 year old and your 18 year old daughter has the maturity of a 12 year old.

And nope, it does not go away. At 48, you have the maturity of a 33 year old....

SquarePeg
03-01-13, 12:27 PM
ADHD'ers are as mature as a neurotypical people 70% their age.

So your 14 year old son has the maturity of a 9 year old and your 18 year old daughter has the maturity of a 12 year old.

And nope, it does not go away. At 48, you have the maturity of a 33 year old....
I just asked him how old his sister behaves and he said "like a 12 year old". Then I asked and what about me and he said "well not like a proper mum"! Not sure how to take that :lol:

MellyFishButt
03-01-13, 01:47 PM
I'm 33 and feel about 27.

stef
03-01-13, 01:54 PM
It's hard to see in your own kids;
my son doesn't have ADD but looks younger than his age (he is almost 23 and looks around 18 - although he acts mature...)

dvdnvwls
03-01-13, 03:02 PM
And nope, it does not go away. At 48, you have the maturity of a 33 year old....
I think a person becomes "mature" at some age, and that many of us are "stuck" at some point before that. I consider myself (43) to have the "maturity" of a 21-year-old, and I don't expect that to change significantly for the rest of my life. (Though I'll do my best...)

silivrentoliel
03-01-13, 03:17 PM
yeah... when I explained the same thing Abi said to DH, his mouth literally fell open... I have the maturity of like a 20 year old (or so, I don't do math). Which means when we married, mentally, I was like a 14 year old or so... scary, hu?

Dizfriz
03-01-13, 03:38 PM
SquarePeg.

Don't forget the 30% rule. Most ADHD kids seem less mature. It is the nature of slower developing executive functions-self control/self regulation.

ADHD kids are often more impulsive, less likely to consider consciences just like a younger child. This is often the case with ADHD adults also, acting like a younger adult.

It is just goes with territory, it is what it is.

Dizfriz

Abi
03-01-13, 04:11 PM
I think a person becomes "mature" at some age, and that many of us are "stuck" at some point before that. I consider myself (43) to have the "maturity" of a 21-year-old, and I don't expect that to change significantly for the rest of my life. (Though I'll do my best...)

Yup. Most of us seem to get stuck in the 20-22 range.

stef
03-01-13, 06:43 PM
Yup. Most of us seem to get stuck in the 20-22 range.

yes 45, feel and act no older than 25...
very preoccupying, i see other women my age at work and they seem way older than i do.

Spacemaster
03-01-13, 10:58 PM
I'm 27, and I have no bloody clue as to how I "should" be acting, or what 27 ought to feel like. I sure don't feel 27 though. I'm both far advanced for my years, and immature too. I don't know how that works,but it's true.

mctavish23
03-02-13, 12:17 AM
Ditto on the 30% Rule.


And Space, I've been meaning to talk to you ... :rolleyes:


tc

mctavish23

(Robert)

salleh
03-02-13, 10:07 AM
hee hee at 62 I have the maturity inpulse control of a 20 year old .....I have gained some wisdom ...but don't have the control to use it !

which is why I am so much better at giving advise than following it !

Flory
03-02-13, 06:28 PM
square, im still getting called immature, i have absolutely 0 control on most of my impulses and i still find toilet humour and most childish things very appealing....i sleep with a comforter at aged 23, i know i know...a little disturbing ;)

:) i know it is probably really worrying as a parent but adhd massively impacts on maturity for most people! he will get there eventually i promise, and if he is like me, as a grown up will find circles that appreciate his difference and immaturity, we weren't all designed to be a universal fit, sometimes it's a good thing to be a little different from your age group, heck good to be different full stop ! i think they say it's a 30% rule so take 30% away from his age and that's where he is at emotionally xx

ana futura
03-02-13, 06:47 PM
I'm happy to be stuck in my twenties. I wouldn't want it any other way.

lalapin
03-04-13, 02:14 AM
@Flory...
Same here, still immature at 27 and toilet humor will be hilarious forever ;)

eats_mice
03-04-13, 01:24 PM
14 yr old boy immature? Yeh, that sounds pretty typical. I feel like I'm still 12 sometimes... >.<