I had a hard time finding a title for this thread. I thought of wirtting The dark side of ADD/ADHD. But i think it would have giving it a negative side, which i dont beleive it is.
I have started this thread because i read somewhere on one of the forums and i cant find it anymore, the post of a teenager saying that she had dark thoughts, and it was scaring her.
So why not also talk about this other side of ADD/ADHD, i know that personaly, i am a very very curious , inquisitive person, i love to know why, what or where in people's mind. I like to know why and how they felt about doing such or such experience. I do not want to necesraly do it myself, but i am still curious of the feeling it may bring. What can i say i am a junky of abnormal behaviors lol.
Ok now i maybe helping you understanding what the hell i am talking about in giving you exemples.
First i was at a very young age truely afraid of death, but still i was attraccted to it. I read and still love to read about death, coroner story, i am an avid reader of anything serial killers ect even novels. I told my librairian that i most of been a serial killer in my past life. I wonder why she hides now when i get in LOL.
How people feel under certain circonstances, so i would as a young girl , and teenager provoke incindents that could be dangerous but i at the same time, was controling it or i thought i did, but nothing ever happened that was dangerous. I use to steal , i was very yuong stealing candies, and later was bigger and better things. I did as a teenager break into houses but not to steal but just for the hell to get in LOL...and half the time i would leave a paper on the table saying that it was way to easy to come in there house and they shoud check that out. Or i would stay in a store all night after they close ,, man it is even better then you ever thought it coulb be LOL. In the 70's the security was not what it is today. I dont think i would try it today. But me alone or with a couple of friends did that many times lol. I always hangout with the bad crouwds but in the same time i felt misplaced cause i dont think i am bad to the bone but i think it just brought me stimilus, more then lets say regular people. So i did see a lot of fights, stabbing ect. Later in life i dont have urges to do that stuff anymore, probably cause i think i did go deep into it. I do like to hear, read about it tho.

Ok how about the darker side like in divinity, entities, did you ever have a like move stuff with you mind, psychic experiences ect? i know that is something i have always been interested in. i would love for people to talk about thing like that.
Ok all this to really say that it is ok to have and question another dimension of life. It is there, why not experiment . That does not make you a BAD person or a darker one. I know that people a lot of people are scared of that side of them, ADD or not. They dont do anything and they feel perverted or that they are bad because they have the thoughts. But if you experiment , and always think of the consequences, if you are not hurting anyone then man go ahead and go deep and it. I can honestly tell you that today i have no urges to do anything, all i think it brought me, was a more inderstanding of the human mind. People call something bad, because they are scars, or ignorant about the subject.

OK i am not sure i really said what i wanted to say ...but i would really like to have other people, come and post about this darker side of them. I remember feeling like i was the baddest human being because i had thoughts or did something that was out of the comfort zone of others. I know i am not a bad person, i never hurt someone but i did scare the hell out of some :p

Please dont be shy nad post...i will also post in the adult private forums about the '' darker side of SEx''

Thrill-seeking behavior is one word for that.
Another description, which I prefer because it's more descriptive and fits me better, is addiction.
Specifically, addiction to the feelings the behavior brings, which is just as addictive as the feeling cocaine or alcohol bring. Isn't that the reason people drink and do drugs--for the feelings it brings?
In the fall of 1987 I entered an inpatient substance abuse treatment program, where I spent the next six months. As the counselers got to know me, they pointed out a lot of my behaviors that were, quite honestly, very, very dangerous. Things like... carrying a loaded .357 Magnum at all times...snorting crystal meth and riding a motorcycle through the back woods mining roads in the mountains of Colorado at night--with no helmet and no headlight...staying up for 2-3 days and night straight doing drugs and then deciding to take a trip 300 miles away just to go have a drink at a certain bar I liked.
On time when I lived near Boulder CO, a friend and I were getting high and decided to leave at 11:00pm during a big snow storm to go to a party in Vail CO the next day. We invited the people with us, but no one else would go, which I just couldn't figure out--who could pass up such an adventure?
Anyway, we left out but the truck was low on gas and there wasn't an open gas station for 50-75 miles in the direction we were going, so we took a hose and a gas can and stopped every 20-25 miles and siphoned gas out of parked cars until we got to a gas station.
When I was rock climbing and was 500' up on a vertical cliff, my fingers and toes jammed into a 2" wide crack, my mind would be what I now know to be "hyperfocused" and I would be calm in my thinking, even if I was shaking in terror at the thought of falling (even though I used rope and climbing gear).

In the last few years I've come to understand this behavior not just in terms of being an addiction in and of itself, but I've also come to see it as also having been an attempt at self-medication for depression and ADHD.
Specifically, the intense flow or rush of adrenaline released by these behaviors had a very calming and focusing effect on my mind, and the intensity of the situation also helped me to focus my mind. It was a relief to me to actually have some peace and quiet in my thoughts. Its a really bizarre concept--that risky or death-defying behavior can bring one peace of mind through the intense stimulation.
I also had much worse problems with depression then, than I do now, and the stimulation, besides being an antidote to depression, also kept my mind in a place where I couldn't feel the depression any more.
Of course, the backlash of coming down from these trips and highs was always brutal and left me paralyized with depression for days on end, until I recovered enough for the next round. I'd say I bordered on being Bi-Polar then.

When I went into treatment, I realized that all these insane behaviors had to be left behind; that they were just as much an addiction, and just as destructive, as the drugs and alcohol were.
Since then, I've learned, and I mean learned, to find enjoyment in the simple thing in life. Like I can be up early in the morning and smell the fresh air and hear the birds singing and the subtle color differences of the early morning sunlight, whereas before I'd stay up all night just to watch a sunrise--and take halucinogens and hour before sunrise so I'd be peaking when the sun came up.
I have now come to a point where I hate the intense stimulation I used to crave. It destroys my inner peace and happiness. My job requires attending drag races and truck pulls and other motorsports events, but I find these events exhausting and draining and it takes me 2-3 days to recover!

I guess I must be getting old, huh? :p

I'd love to read a long post about how that change took place Swamp. What were the changes that took place that lead you to a more peaceful disposition?

What was it that you did that began the journey down a road that favours a gentler life.

I will always be a bit of a stimulation junkie I think. Now I practise the habit in much more civil ways though. Less risk, more fun.. I'm definitely getting old! ehhe Now days racing, drugs and drink just don't cut it next to horses kids and life in the slow lane.
Cheers! Ian.