My son is in a general ed 1st grade class. He has ADHD plus some very mild autistic tendencies. He has an aide in the class for most of the day. He's does OK academically, but he definitely does not fit in with the other kids. He doesn't have any real friends to speak of. The other kids tend to shy away from him because of his behavior, or complain to him about it. I'm concerned that just having people gripe at him all day about behavior, and not having any real friendships will take a toll on self-esteem.

My son attended a special-ed preschool, and he had many friends. Also, I was able to make friends with other parents. Since being in general ed, my son has never been invited over to anyone's house to play, or even been invited to a birthday party. That was not the case in special ed. The parents were like me and the kids were like my son, so it seemed much better socially. Academically, it was about the same.

Should I pursue putting my son in a special ed class, if the mix of kids is right, or stay with general ed ? Anyone have any thoughts.

Stay with general education. As a rule, special educators are taught to use "least restrictive environments." Don't take him out of general education...in the future, when he is older, if he is in special education classes, that will be far more of a stigma, and make his life far harder, than being in general education now.

I know you posted the question a while back, but hey I'm new:D I have a little to say about this. As I have said elsewhere I spent my first year teaching special ed resource for 3rd and 4th graders, many of whom were I am sure ADHD. Though I agree that he would make more friends in SpecEd, I would not advise moving him into that program as long as he is doing well. The reason I say this is that SpecEd does not teach at the same pace and most kids don't really graduate, and almost never along with their peer group. I would just advise on keeping an eye on his teachers and being a strong advocate willing to fight for the right teacher, since some will have very negative attitudes about his problem. Good luck.

My 13yo was in sp.ed for two years. He hated it. As he grew older and the social things in school, well needles to say that they are labeled and treated differeent by thier peers. It it harder. My son is out of these classes now and seems to have more friends and a normal social life now. His grades are something else, he was getting a and b in the sp.ed. classes and now its not pretty. he really does not want to go back to the sp.ed.classes.

Its a hard choice and I would say that if he is getting by in reg classesz then leave him there if ya can.

Is there an option in your area for kids who have normal or above-normal intelligence but other disabilities that affect social development? If I were in your position, what would worry me about special ed is the possibility that my child would either not be challenged academically or would be in a class with children with behavior problems - either of which may well be worse than the current situation with him in a non-special-ed classroom.

It's also possible that he might benefit from special ed now but may catch up somewhat in terms of social development and fit in well with his peers in general education classes later on.

I can speak from first hand experience. I was in special ed from 1st grade on. While I was mainstreamed most of the time it was still hard. I am now in college and have not had any special ed assistance what so ever. I always hated going to school bc I knew i had to go to the special ed room at some point throughout my day everyday! It was miserabele. I would try and wait till everyone else was in a classroom and then sneak in at the last min when no one was watching. I had to always be very secretive as to where my next class was. It sucked, dont do that to your child!