Hi, I have been dating someone who has a severe case of ADD. We have been dating for over a year now and honestly it has been a time with many up's and down's, more down's than anything. I am not happy with our relationship and I could write page after page of all the things he does that are ADD related. He can spend literally 24 hours in front of his computer not realizing the time. I believe he breaks his computer just so he can fix it again and again. He will go days without calling me and then wonder why I am upset that I hadn't heard from him. He thinks having me in the same room with him while he stares at his computer is spending quality time together. Hello..... something is seriously wrong with that. I feel mislead in a way, because in the begining things were so great, he followed through on his word, he called when he said he would, he would spend time with me, but now it is all the oppositie. All I get is excuse after excuse. I do love him and I know he love's me. The problem is I am not happy with this kind of relationship and I don't see how we can have a happy life together. I have tried breaking up once before, but he has this way of turning things around and making such a great case for himself that I begin to question my decision and I get more confused on what to do. He is very emotional and I don't want to hurt him. He just recently lost his job and things are not going good for him, but I can't continue investing in this relationship that I feel isn't going to go anywhere. I know he will accuse me of choosing a time when he is really down and make me feel quilty, but honestly it is never a good time for him. I here this excuse all the time. Its never a good time to talk or do this or that. I am really fed up and I don't know how to deal with this. Can anyone help with some suggestions or advise? I would appreciate it. I love this man, but I can't go on like this.
Thank you!

Okay so you are dating the parverbal lump and you aint happy. Is he willing to compromize at all?? Spend quaility time what is spending quality time to you do you have specifics? My partner and I have had some problems similar in the past and still srtuggle from time to time I think getting in an internet system where we can be on two different computers at the same time would help as we hate sharing!!!! We do manage. I read a book called The five Languages of LOVE by Gary Chapman that helped us a lot. My partner expresses love by doing where my love language is quality time. He was expressing his love for me when he bought me my favorite sweets while shopping for groceries...or spending time fixing my truck... I didn't see it because we spend little time doing things together like throwing the base ball, dancing, bible studies. Check out the book from the library if you intend to continue trying if not you said it yourself no time is a good time...just break up and go on he may wine for a while but if he is truly ADD he will be over it in a week or so. If he is unwilling to put forth any measurable effort into the relationship then do both of you a favor and say bye..break ups are like car break downs no time is a good time!!!!