View Full Version : Borderline - Borderline Personality Disorder??????????????


Fuzzy12
04-11-13, 12:08 PM
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disord ers) fourth edition (DSM-IV-TR) has criteria for borderline personality disorder in Axis II Cluster B (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_disorder#Cluster_B_.28dramatic.2C_emot ional_or_erratic_disorders.29).<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-DSM-IV-TR_3-2">[2] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder#cite_note-DSM-IV-TR-3)</sup> Five or more of the following criteria must be present for diagnosis:<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-DSM-IV-TR_3-3">[2] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder#cite_note-DSM-IV-TR-3)</sup>


frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment <dl><dd>Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5.</dd></dl>
a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, Substance Abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) <dl><dd>Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.</dd></dl>
recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, and/or self-mutilating behaviour
affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
chronic feelings of emptiness
inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms



I have 4 out of 9 symptoms (4,5,6 and 7) especially 6 & 7. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder type II but slowly I'm wondering if that's an accurate diagnosis or if I could in addition be borderline as well. Maybe I've got BPD tendencies.

My mood can switch at random but I am also very, very reactive.

The point that bothers me the most is 1. I don't get attached easily or often but when I do it seems all consuming. Well, at least till I get bored of the person in question. I used to think, it's just another form of stimulation seeking but now I'm not so sure anymore. I get almost addicted to certain people and when they aren't around, I crash. I try very hard not to appear needy but in reality, I don't take rejection (real or perceived) very well. I neither idealise nor vilify anyone though.

I don't really have any dissociative symptoms except that I day dream to an almost pathological extent. And I do feel very unreal at times but I always thought that was more of a cognitive phenomenon rather than an emotional one. I mean, I don't have any faith and don't really believe in anything and often wonder about reality so that might give rise to feeling unreal. I do feel rather disconnected from other people though as if they live on another planet and there is an invisible and transparent but impenetrable wall separating us.

Or maybe I'm just overthinking stuff again. I'm definitely not going to bring it up at my next meeting with my psychiatrist. They anyway think I'm a hypochondriac. :rolleyes:

saturday
04-11-13, 12:25 PM
subclinical symptoms of personality disorders are phrased "borderline type personality".

its not uncommon with bipolar.

I have personality disorder *type* behaviors too. especially when my moods are not stabil. though, a big part of it is from the fact that I have persecutory delusions and when Im even slightly not stabil I regress back to, or remember more easily those incorrect thought patterns. The delussions dig the trenches and then the personality componant has a hard time not taking a different road. if that makes sense.

IF you do have personality disorder *type* behavior, still focus on getting those moods under control first. It would be much easier to change thought patterns, and behaviors if you are stabil.

saturday
04-11-13, 12:33 PM
Also, IMO it seems that you are quite introspective. This is a good thing. A goal and purpose of self improvement will help with those borderline type symptoms.

daveddd
04-11-13, 01:37 PM
Your not over thinkin


Everyone with a mental illness will develope unhealthy defense mechanisms


The disorder shapes our personality


Introspection is key like stated above

Sandy4957
04-11-13, 02:12 PM
My mother is almost surely a borderline personality.

You don't strike me as similar, Fuzzy. You're pretty hard on yourself and you see others' sides of things. My mother is pretty incapable of any of that. It's all about her needs, 100% of the time. She may express concern about others, but it always comes back to her.

Borderlines are extremely difficult to have a relationship with. I kind of doubt that you'd have made it as far as you have with your family and your hubby if you were borderline. My mother has no contact with either of her kids and hasn't for a decade. She has only one remaining friend.

Have you had a lot of people writing you out of their lives? That would be a signal to me. If they are merely frustrated because your depression is ongoing, that is not the same thing.

You seem to me to be depressed, first and foremost. The depression is interfering with your ability to focus (which is common), and that is driving you off the rails because you feel that you're in a crisis mode. But I suspect that when you get out of crisis mode and are able to settle down, you will not have any sort of symptoms that would qualify as a borderline personality disorder. You just don't seem sufficiently self-absorbed for that.

Abi
04-11-13, 02:19 PM
My father is borderline as was my first girlfriend (histrionic). They have a certain ... feel ... about them, which you don't have.

You aren't manipulative. You have empathy. And you don't do splitting.

Sandy4957
04-11-13, 02:29 PM
I'm going to add one thing, Fuzzy. Please understand that I say this out of caring.

It seems to me that you are casting about looking for an instant fix to how you feel. That's natural. When you feel lousy, you want relief, and you want it NOW.

Unfortunately, relief from depression does not work that way. And the constant casting about and hoping for a miracle cure can perpetuate the sense of crisis.

Here's how depression "lifts," in my experience. First, you have to do the "work" of trying to get better. This means that you do things that don't always feel right. You go to the social events, even though you don't feel like it. You exercise, even though you don't feel like it. You take the medication, even though you don't feel like it. You see the therapist, even though you don't feel like it.

You plug away, in other words. When I have been deeply depressed, I sometimes remind myself that I may have to "fake it 'til I make it." This is a very real thing. If you ACT like you are NOT depressed, you will start to feel less depressed. I don't mean that you "put on a happy face." I mean that you engage in the activities that non-depressed people engage in, and that are known to help people feel connected with others, etc.

Those are the social/family events, exercise, charitable work, church for some people, etc.

You do those things as though you are not depressed. The act of doing them will make you feel less depressed.

Depression does not lift instantaneously. When you hunker down and do the "work" that I'm describing above, and you do it consistently (as in, not every day, but several times a week), you will start to notice that you have flashes of feeling "ok." Then you'll have periods of feeling "ok" for a day or two, then a few days in a row. You may feel a bit of joy here and there. For me, for example, I would notice that when I went biking on my mountain bike, I would giggle like a kid, because it was a kid's sort of fun.

Then after a while, something will shift, and you will no longer be able to picture what it was like to be as depressed as you are now. You'll think, "Wow. I can't believe that I felt that way." Your brain will have established new neuronal connections that allow you to see your way out of the black hole.

Those new neuronal connections may set up with medication alone, but they will also set up with exercise and social interaction alone. In fact, there are studies that show that exercise and social interaction can do it faster than medications.

That's not at all to suggest that you forego the medication. The medication is your belt. But use the suspenders, as well.

The suspenders are not to be found in internet research or online forums or herbal remedies. They're made up of the "work" of getting better.

So I mean this kindly, "Try faking it 'til you make it," a little. It actually works.

dvdnvwls
04-11-13, 02:58 PM
That's not at all to suggest that you forego the medication. The medication is your belt. But use the suspenders, as well.

The suspenders are not to be found in internet research or online forums or herbal remedies. They're made up of the "work" of getting better.

People from the left side of the Atlantic may wear suspenders; those from the right side of the Atlantic usually wear braces instead. :) Just making sure we all understand each other to the fullest extent. Sandy, great post.

Abi
04-11-13, 03:25 PM
actually, those of us with any sense of style wear neither. we wear belts. sometimes.

Joker_Girl
04-11-13, 03:53 PM
Fuzzy I'm sorry, I hate depression, it sucks.

I have some of these symptoms too. I'm impulsive, self-destructive, and moody. I feel lost and empty. But many of these I do not even sort of have, even a little. You are afraid of abandonment honey because unfortunately, your husband doesn't do much to make you feel secure, IMO.

I understand the "let's find out what it is and fix it....NOW" thing, too. I want it fixed. Depression hurts. It's awful. You would be crazy to NOT want it fixed!

I am starting a new medicine tomorrow, Cymbalta. I will let you know if it helps. Do you take other medicine?

dvdnvwls
04-11-13, 04:26 PM
actually, those of us with any sense of style wear neither. we wear belts. sometimes.

:) OK, sorry. ;)

Sandy4957
04-11-13, 06:11 PM
Hahahaha! Good point re Brits v. 'Murkan English....

aylaah
04-11-13, 10:30 PM
the ones you identify most with are bipolar as well though, there is so much crossover. Another alternative is that you have some borderline symptoms but either not enough to make a full diagnosis, or not intensely enough. This can lead to a diagnosis of 'traits' - for example, my hubby has bipolar 2, with borderline, obsessive and avoidant traits. It means he has aspects of those three personality disorders but not enough to be 'full blown'.

Are you medicated for your bipolar? Is it helping? My husband is in the process of medicating his, and is on the up - and we struggle a bit as the traits are a bit harder to contain, they need 'head work' or effort from him to improve them, rather than just a medicine that say calms a mania or lifts a depression, if that makes sense. But generally he is improving remarkably. It's hit and miss with meds for bipolar but try what you can try, and see what does and doesn't improve - and then look into why.

daveddd
04-12-13, 05:53 AM
the ones you identify most with are bipolar as well though, there is so much crossover. Another alternative is that you have some borderline symptoms but either not enough to make a full diagnosis, or not intensely enough. This can lead to a diagnosis of 'traits' - for example, my hubby has bipolar 2, with borderline, obsessive and avoidant traits. It means he has aspects of those three personality disorders but not enough to be 'full blown'.

Are you medicated for your bipolar? Is it helping? My husband is in the process of medicating his, and is on the up - and we struggle a bit as the traits are a bit harder to contain, they need 'head work' or effort from him to improve them, rather than just a medicine that say calms a mania or lifts a depression, if that makes sense. But generally he is improving remarkably. It's hit and miss with meds for bipolar but try what you can try, and see what does and doesn't improve - and then look into why.

thats an extremely common trifecta of "traits" when dealing with emotional regulation disorders like bipolar 2 or adhd (bad recipe for addiction and alcoholism as well)

fuzzy, your meds wont change personality traits

what they can do, is take away the "axis 1" symptoms, allowing you step back, examine and attempt to correct the maladaptive coping mechanisms, that formed from a lifetime of viewing the world from the eyes of someone with bipolar or whatever disorder

sarek
04-12-13, 07:24 AM
I you are mainly referring to symptoms 4,5,6 and 7 in that list you can see that these are equally well accounted for by bipolar and/or ADHD.
As such they don't really qualify as "positive' symptoms for BPD in the sense that discriminating between one disorder versus another is not possible on that basis alone.

Fuzzy12
04-12-13, 07:46 AM
Suspenders :lol:

I am so relieved that you guys think that BPD is unlikely!!! I'm not too hot on my other disorders but they make sense to me. I live them. But BPD for some reason I find very scary.

My father is borderline as was my first girlfriend (histrionic). They have a certain ... feel ... about them, which you don't have.

You aren't manipulative. You have empathy. And you don't do splitting.

No Abi, I don't think I do any of those things. I am self absorbed but not much more than other people. I wouldn't even know how to be manipulative and don't want to be either. I over empathise if anything at all. And no, I don't do splitting. I do get attached every once in a while though, rarely, but when it happens it's extreme, till I get bored of that person and lose interest completely.

But none of these symptoms (except for splitting) are in the DSM, I mean self absorption, manipulativeness, lack of empathy, etc. Maybe they are by products of the core symptoms though. I guess, if for example, you are scared of abandonment, you might employ manipulative tactics to avoid it at any cost.

I'm going to add one thing, Fuzzy. Please understand that I say this out of caring.

It seems to me that you are casting about looking for an instant fix to how you feel. That's natural. When you feel lousy, you want relief, and you want it NOW.

Unfortunately, relief from depression does not work that way. And the constant casting about and hoping for a miracle cure can perpetuate the sense of crisis.

Here's how depression "lifts," in my experience. First, you have to do the "work" of trying to get better. This means that you do things that don't always feel right. You go to the social events, even though you don't feel like it. You exercise, even though you don't feel like it. You take the medication, even though you don't feel like it. You see the therapist, even though you don't feel like it.

You plug away, in other words. When I have been deeply depressed, I sometimes remind myself that I may have to "fake it 'til I make it." This is a very real thing. If you ACT like you are NOT depressed, you will start to feel less depressed. I don't mean that you "put on a happy face." I mean that you engage in the activities that non-depressed people engage in, and that are known to help people feel connected with others, etc.


I know, you care Sandy. You've been banging your head against a wall to get me to do things that might help me and I'm so grateful that you haven't given up on me yet!!

I try to fake it. Mainly by putting on a happy face in front of others but I also try to be functional in basic terms. Basic hygiene (which isn't easy at times), going to work, socialising, forcing myself to do things that are fun. Sometimes, I'm successful and sometimes I'm not. The more I do, the better I feel. Just the sense of achievement that comes with being productive rather than moping about makes me feel better.

Sometimes, it's too tough though. Sometimes, I just don't care anymore and the desire to sleep (or to mope) overrides everything else, especially logic. I struggle to do anything consistently. I try, but so far, I haven't been that successful. For the last two weeks, I've been doing regular exercise (hubby made it easy for me by buying a stand cycle that I can use at home in front of the TV). It helps but not enough.

I need to do more things I enjoy. I am planning to go swimming again. The initial effort is difficult to make (i.e. getting myself to a swimming pool) but once I'm in the water, I usually feel good.

You are right, I am not only actively seeking a diagnosis, maybe even hoping for one (though definitely not BPD) but I am also hoping for a quick fix. I never used to believe in taking meds tll I started my first anti depressant, which made me almost instantly feel better. I know that meds are just the first step but right now my meds aren't working very well so the subsequent steps are more difficult. I am also tired of trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I am scared of just being generically insane. Once I can give a label to something, it feels more defined, more contained. Ironically, after diagnosis, I feel more normal and more sane. Now I know that there are particular defects in my brain rather than my brain defective as a whole. Maybe that's why I try to explain all my issues by looking for labels that fit.

I wish I could just make it go away. I'm so tired of feeling like this. Before I started suspecting that I might have ADHD, I accepted that I would be depressed for the rest of my life as I thought I was depressed for a reason. I thought I deserved to be depressed. But my ADHD symptoms are different. I don't think I deserve those (no more than anyone else deserves them), they seem more "clinical", but trying to manage those opened some kind of dam. I want to be healthy now and be able to live a somewhat normal, somewhat fulfilling life. The fact that feeling empty (depressed or not) is a big problem for me makes me wonder how fulfilled I can ever be. It just goes too deep, you know?





I am starting a new medicine tomorrow, Cymbalta. I will let you know if it helps. Do you take other medicine?

I am taking Cymbalta right now (60mg). I haven't found it to be as effective as Sertraline (zoloft) though. But that's just me. I hope you will have more luck with it. Keep us updated.



Are you medicated for your bipolar? Is it helping? .

I am taking Lamotrigine. Today is my first day on 75mg.

thats an extremely common trifecta of "traits" when dealing with emotional regulation disorders like bipolar 2 or adhd (bad recipe for addiction and alcoholism as well)

fuzzy, your meds wont change personality traits

what they can do, is take away the "axis 1" symptoms, allowing you step back, examine and attempt to correct the maladaptive coping mechanisms, that formed from a lifetime of viewing the world from the eyes of someone with bipolar or whatever disorder

I know, that's the hope. I just have to continue trying..

Thanks all!! :grouphug:

daveddd
04-12-13, 01:59 PM
I assumed you knew that

That's my poor theory of mind at work (insert additional comorbid)

What I should of said was no. I doubt your the type of bpd that is considered untreatable


Just us impulsive types can superficially appear as cluster b. pds

And can see and correct these behaviors with meds

Ego dystonic

Sandy4957
04-13-13, 04:50 PM
Yes, I understand feeling tired and wanting it to go away, Fuzzy...

It boils down to a sort of faith, in the end. Some people would find comfort in praying, etc. For me, it is science. The science supports the steps to follow. You can be comforted by the fact that you ARE practicing the steps.

So when you feel that urgent need, pressure, compulsion to find a solution NOW, take that energy and go ride the stationary bike for 15 minutes, right then, right NOW. Make sense?

In other words, treat the sense of compulsion to search the internet or post online or what have you as your cue that NOW IS A TIME TO GO WORK OUT BRIEFLY.

Otherwise the compulsion, urge, pressure, etc. has no real outlet, and the frustration that you feel over that adds to your sense that you're in a black hole.

I'll try putting it the opposite way, now. For the last few months, you've done the online research and posted a lot, etc. Has it resulted in you feeling better? It hasn't necessarily, right? You still feel the compulsion. You still feel lousy. So try a different "treatment."

Just a thought. :)

And that's not a suggestion that you should stop posting or anything. I'm just trying to be helpful. :)

Sandy4957
04-14-13, 06:07 PM
Fuzzy, I know that your doctors didn't diagnose you as having ADHD, but that difficulty getting yourself to go to the swimming pool is something that is very ADHDish, it seems to me. It's a difficulty transitioning.

Let me see if I describe what's going on in your head, here. So, let's say that you swim in the morning. You wake up, dink around getting ready a little, and by the time you're leaving the house, you think: "I can't afford to work out today, because I have work to do and I 'should' get to the office ASAP."

Or if you work out in the afternoon, you're at the office, and it gets to be about the time when you would need to leave if you're going to work out and be home early enough to eat and get to sleep at a reasonable hour. You haven't accomplished what you feel you "should" for the day. So you say to yourself, "I can't afford to work out today, because I haven't done what I 'should' at work, and I 'should' be home with the hubster, etc."

Have I got it? I feel you, babe. Been there, done that, still do it quite a bit.

So here's the key... What are you doing when you tell yourself that you "should" be working, or "should" be heading home? Are you accomplishing what you want to be accomplishing?

You're not, are you?

You're feeling terrible about yourself and your life, farting around on the internet, looking up potential diagnoses and "cures," and posting about how unhappy you are with yourself, aren't you? :D

Been there, done that, bought the tee shirt. :o

Let that "should" feeling be your cue that you need to transition. You're not going to accomplish what you want to that day. But you don't have to punish yourself for that. You deserve to work out ANYWAY. So go work out.

When you treat the work out that way, it'll become something that you allow yourself to do because it makes you feel good, and then it will be easier to transition to it, and, lo and behold, the next day, you may be more productive... ;) Bit by bit, you plug away, and eventually you'll get there. :)

Sandy4957
04-14-13, 06:21 PM
The fact that feeling empty (depressed or not) is a big problem for me makes me wonder how fulfilled I can ever be. It just goes too deep, you know?

That feeling passes as you move out of depression.

You know, Fuzzy, here's the diagnosis that sounds closes to you, to me: dysthymia. It's a chronic low grade depression. You're not dysfunctional. You get work done. But you have no joy.

Dysthymia is hard to treat because people who have it think that THAT is what normal feels like...

Perhaps you went through a period of "double depression," which is major depression on top of dysthymia. So you got through the major depression and yet the dysthymia persists?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysthymia

Just a thought. I don't think that I have dysthymia. I know people who do, though, and it's really tough to convince them that there is a life out there that is not what they know. :( They always seem to feel very trapped...

Fuzzy12
04-25-13, 09:19 AM
If I don't have BPD why do I get so attached to people every once in a while? It happens rarely but when it happens it's extreme. Why do I miss them so much when they aren't around? Why does my mood light up when I meet them and I get depressed and feel empty when I don't?? Why do I feel rejected when they are too busy to meet me or when I don't hear from them for one day (or half a day, a few hours??)????? What the **** is this???????????????????????

Abi
04-25-13, 10:00 AM
do you know your enneagram type?

Fuzzy12
04-25-13, 10:24 AM
do you know your enneagram type?

Huh?? What's that??

Just looked it up and did some sort of internet test (no idea if it's rubbish)

<table bgcolor="#dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4"><tbody><tr><td>Type 1 </td> <td>Perfectionism</td> <td width="50">||</td> <td width="30">10%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 2</td> <td>Helpfulness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">58%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 3</td> <td>Image Focus</td> <td width="50">||||||||||</td> <td width="30">38%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 4</td> <td>Individualism</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">62%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 5</td> <td>Intellectualism</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">70%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 6</td> <td>Security Focus</td> <td width="50">||||||</td> <td width="30">30%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 7</td> <td>Adventurousness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">86%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 8</td> <td>Aggressiveness</td> <td width="50">||||</td> <td width="30">18%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Type 9</td> <td>Calmness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||</td> <td width="30">34%</td> </tr> </tbody></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody><tr> <td>
</td> </tr> </tbody></table>
<table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="510"> <tbody><tr> <td align="center" width="26">type</td> <td align="center" width="33">score</td> <td align="center">type behavior motivation</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center">7</td> <td align="center">21</td> <td> I must be fun and entertained to survive.</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center">5</td> <td align="center">17</td> <td> I must be knowledgeable to survive.</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center">4</td> <td align="center">15</td> <td> I must be unique/different to survive.</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center">2</td> <td align="center">14</td> <td> I must be helpful and caring to survive.</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center">3</td> <td align="center">9</td> <td> I must be impressive and attractive to survive.</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center">9</td> <td align="center">8</td> <td> I must maintain peace/calm to survive.</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center">6</td> <td align="center">7</td> <td> I must be secure and safe to survive.</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center">8</td> <td align="center">4</td> <td> I must be strong and in control to survive.</td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center">1</td> <td align="center">2</td> <td> I must be perfect and good to survive.</td> </tr> </tbody></table>
Your main type is Type 7
Your variant stacking is sp/sx/so
Your level of health is very low, i.e. very unhealthy

Abi
04-25-13, 11:36 AM
Go to http://theenneagram.blogspot.com and read about unhealthy 7's

I thought you might be a 4 like me, but you're clearly not.

7's are hedonists extraordinaire. I can imagine how your current lifestyle must be stifling to you.

Hopefully ginnie can weigh in. She's the expert.

Abi
04-25-13, 11:37 AM
PS that's the similarminds test you did.

It's a good test.

Fuzzy12
04-26-13, 07:06 AM
Go to http://theenneagram.blogspot.com and read about unhealthy 7's

I thought you might be a 4 like me, but you're clearly not.

7's are hedonists extraordinaire. I can imagine how your current lifestyle must be stifling to you.

Hopefully ginnie can weigh in. She's the expert.

According to the test on the website you posted, I am a 4. What struck me most what that the description says that 4s tend to view their individualism as both a gift and a curse. It's so true. I can't and don't want to be like other people but sometimes I wish I was because being me isn't very pleasant.

My life style is stifling me, more than anything is my family stifling me who are constantly trying to make me conform more to society's norms. I think, based on the descriptions, I've read that 7 and 4 are the most applicable.

Having traits of 7 would explain a lot why I get so attached to certain people. The people I get attached to always happen to be a source of stimulation for me.

Abi
04-26-13, 07:09 AM
You DID strike me as a 4.

4's seek out idealised teachers, mentors or heroes. It's our nature.

Fuzzy12
04-26-13, 11:36 AM
Sigh, I think it might just be a case of infatuation. :(

I guess, I was hoping that it's not because I'm just so ashamed of that. I really need to stop looking for excuses for my moral failings. :rolleyes:

beepbeep
04-28-13, 09:53 AM
I was reading something and I can't remember where it is--but it is about a spectrum of and how many people will not just flat out have x but will have a spectrum of x...

To see if you are borderline I encourage you to look at your relationships--ask the people that you are close to what they think.

Examples would be--are you often afraid co-workers don't like you or do you have conflicts or problems with them? Do you have problems having a calm relationship with a significant other? Do you clash with people in your family? Do you have deep resentments against people in your family that cause you to clash with them?

Borderlines have difficulty with trust--they overtrust or undertrust--but if there is anyone who has known you over time, ask them.

Substance abuse is co morbid with borderline so I don't know if you've had that issue?

One thing is that dialectical behavioral therapy which is the treatment for borderline seems like it has the potential to help anyone--so you could consider doing that treatment anyway. It is apparently helpful for a wide variety of problems and the most currently effect treatment for borderline.

There is NOTHING to be ashamed with about having borderline. It is a stigmatized illness but it is really important to face it and get treatment because it is 100 percent treatable.

The borderline I know has a great deal of empathy if she is not cycling and doesn't split with EVERYONE just certain people. But she is sure they are DOING things to her so she would never see it as it is. She self diagnosed occasionally but then fled from the diagnosis and won't get the right help. She wants it to be depression. That is why I encourage you to look past your fear. Why suffer unnecessarily? It is not YOU it is just a problem to be solved.

You may not have this condition but don't let the fear stop you when if you have it you could get over it.

There is no one size fits all borderline. There are also borderlines who don't clash with people because they isolate themselves. I encourage you to read about the condition further.