View Full Version : Upcoming IEP meeting, looking for advice & help

04-13-13, 04:08 PM
I am new here so hope I am posting this in the right place. I have tried to read through the posts related to this but have some questions as well.

I am the mother of 4 girls, 23, 15, 15, and 9. My question is about my 9 yr old who has a diagnosis of ADHD, OCD, Severe anxiety and a sleep disorder, although I know there are other lingering issues. One of my twins had many issues that I continue to fight for help with until Jr High when they came to me requesting testing and sure enough she is on the spectrum along with other issues.

Anyway, my 9 yr old has been struggling behavior wise for many years. She unlike my 15 yr old has problems in school as well as home, although home is 3x as bad. I requested an IEP in Sept where they denied there were any issues and did not give us an IEP. I said that was fine and we would monitor. Well this week I requested one, well actually her psychiatrist asked why she did not have one. So I want to be 100% prepared this time.

Some quick history... she is according to them and tests on grade level for academics for the most part, although math is very hard right now but they are saying she is okay. But she has many behaviors at school, talking back to the teacher, throwing a boot in class (low to the ground but still), lying to the teachers and staff, walking off the playground to go inside without telling anyone, has hit a child last year, destruction of a teachers property and recently caught cheating. Now when I say cheating it was not glancing at a paper, she instead wrote her spelling words on a folder in her desk and would pull it out to look at it. After getting caught she admitted this was her third time. She is constantly interrupting, sorting the teachers books, asks questions all the time (can I use this pencil), and in the morning wondering or sitting on the bench in the lobby and being late for class. She hates water (will shower) but hates rain, puddles or anything getting hair and clothes wet, so therefore hates outside recess in the winter. Is picky over clothes fitting just right or will change throughout the day and I could go on.

The dr wants an IEP for Positive Behavior Support with constant communication and daily reports. I know it is going to be a fight as they keep telling me she is no different then other children.

Any thoughts?
Thank you

Ms. Mango
04-13-13, 06:18 PM
I have a few quick questions:

Is your daughter on medication?
Did you put your request for an IEP in writing?
Did the school do any testing before denying your request for an IEP?
Has she been suspended for any of her behaviors?
Have you requested a behavior plan?
Does she need any accommodations like help with test taking, preferential seating or a quite place to take tests?

04-13-13, 08:18 PM
Mrs Mango asked the relevant questions, can't really give any good answers until we know these things.

04-13-13, 08:47 PM
My advice:
1. Read From Emotions to Advocacy by Peter Wright
2. Search for articles about "Functional Skills" on the wrightslaw site
3. Hire an educational advocate (not an attorney) to help make the case for what your daughter needs.

04-14-13, 09:07 AM
Yes she is on concerta 54mg in am, 15 mg methlyphenidate at 3pm, guanfacine, buspar, clomipramine, trazadone, and takes otc melatonin 10mg.

The IEP meeting in the fall was a concession on my part to see how the year progressed as the previous year teacher seemed for forget her behaviors over the summer and said she was great (which she is but needs some help), and of course this teacher had known her two days. She has not been suspended as they do not seem to take her behaviors seriously and just cast them off as part of the norm, she is no worse then the others. We are in a large school (672 children in 2-5) and there are 8 classrooms of each grade in which I think they have about 120 students under IEP. The teacher this year is the worst I have ever seen and I have a daughter who is 23 and twins so I have seen a lot of teachers. She will put names on the board and then check marks for talking in class. If you get a check mark it is 5 min on the wall at recess. (no big deal for my daughter, she hates recess, hate the social aspect and so standing on the wall is no problem). But when she threw the boot, walked off the playground and lied all in the same day I received a PBIS form (the schools uses or claims to; Positive Behavior Intervention Support) and no form of correction at school. So my daughter got a paper to bring home and supposedly talked to. I feel I should support the school in corrective measure but should not be on me to fully discipline at home for what she did at school. The same thing with cheating, the teacher said she talked to her about how she should want to grow up to be honest and nothing. After my talking to the principal who called me just to inform me they had her in for recess writing each word 10 times (20 words), which she loved doing as it got her out of recess. I could go on and on. I have asked for behavior help, we tried to target a behavior like interrupting and the teacher was to send home a daily report (pre made form she puts name on and how many times). I received that 3 times and it stopped, but I know the behavior has not.

We have requested that for all quiet work she sits alone as their seats are in groups. That happens occasionally, even after cheating I requested it again and the teachers response was if she wants to she can sit at the table.

Oh yes this request was in writing, along with a letter from the Dr so they had 45 days and scheduled it pretty quickly.

Ms. Mango
04-14-13, 07:19 PM
Some of her behaviors aren't "bad" (tags, water, etc.), but are indicative of a sensory problem. Are you asking for OT to address these problems or just help with other issues?

I agree with you that it is the school's job to hand out consequences for things she does/doesn't do in school like cheating or being less than truthful. Have you told them you will support them but it's their responsibility to discipline her when they find that she's doing something she shouldn't?

It looks like you are trying to be proactive, especially after what you went through with one of your twin DDs, and the school has a pattern of being less than responsive. It's good that you are fighting for this now. Since they didn't listen to the Dr. it's possible they won't do anything until your daughter really has problems--it seems to be their MO. I would keep pushing and possibly find as advocate as suggested above.