View Full Version : Difficulty having relationships with people (platonic+romantic)

04-16-13, 10:55 PM
Hi there,

Just a little intro of me. My name is Colby, I'm an 18 y/o from Miami. This is my first post on addforums but I have browsed the site for months.

Anyway, as you can tell from my username, I have ADHD, diagnosed/medicated on stims since 6 y/o. I'm very personable, and have always been good at making conversation with people. At first, my main problem was talking to girls. I was severely compromised whenever an attractive girl was in my presence. I had extreme self-consciousness because I was fat and was told I was annoying. However, I didn't know why I was annoying, I was just being myself...

As I grew older, I realized I would talk too much, say things out of turn, say extremely personal things with no regard for privacy, etc. I lost all of the weight, started working out, and kept up my personal hygiene a lot better, and began realizing I wasn't unattractive after all. Even though my self-esteem improved, I still couldn't look attractive girls in the eye etc. even though my friends were telling me they thought I was hot.

I started getting into relationships, having sex, all that but I would always get dumped within 3 months with no explanation. It turned me cold. After I left high school, my thoughts on people in general changed significantly. I would only keep in contact with a few people and I felt people didn't truly care about me when I really cared about them and their lives. It eventually turned me very cold, not resenting and hating the world, but keeping my distance. I used to be one of those people on facebook and twitter 24/7 for years. Now I've deleted all social networking sites, my internet connection disconnected, and sold my laptop. My only connection to the outside world is through my phone.

I guess I just don't care to keep in contact with fake friends. I spend 5/6 days of the week with my grandparents (whom I live with), and occasionally seeing my little brother and (divorced) father and mother. Honestly, I am so much happier as a person, internally, never having to deal with drama and being able to spend every second of my time doing something productive towards my goals. And because I kicked my everyday poly-hard drug use. I stick to my meds only and I've been about 6 months clean cold turkey :) However, I do get a tad lonely on the female side, but choose not to act on that because of previous experience.

Sorry for ranting, the meds are still going hard lol. Can anyone relate? Anyone wanna share their stories pertaining to this topic? Also, feel free to PM me if you wanna talk, know more, I'm a friendly dude :cool:

P.S. I was off my meds for about 6 years, which is when I started self-medicating real hard. However, I got back on meds and got my head straight. I've never abused them either, I finding taking them orally at prescribed dosages much more euphoric than getting high off of them :)

Current Rx: Dexedrine Spansule 10mg 1x Daily (CorePharma!!!!) Although it does wear off fast, and I could use a higher dosage as it isn't as effective as it used to be, I stick to what my *close-minded* shrink recommends ;)