Who all here has at some point been a blamer.

Always blaming whatever is wrong on someone or something else instead of looking at the real reason behind the problem

It's hard for me to imagine anyone who hasn't at some point. I've been getting better at admiting to myself when I'm the one who's wrong, but it seems that blaming others is my natural state.

Yeah, some, I think it's what most people do. Out of frustration is when I usally do it and mostly about house work.....

I tend to be the person who blames myself more than I should.....

I know I have blamed others for my problems and lousy luck because it's easier to do that than take responsibility for my own problems/actions...and PLUS then I get to be victim which has its own unique set of benefits. But I'm doing this kind of stuff less and less as I get older, I think. Sometimes I also tend to take on too much responsiblity for things, i.e. things going wrong, sort of like when Paula says she blames herself more than she should. I sort of do that too sometimes. So I can go either way with this one.:)

I always figured it was all my fault for way I screwed up my life. I just could not figure out what the heck was wrong with me and why I could not fix it. Turns out I'm a classic case of ADD undiagnoised for 45 years.

Well Barbette....isn't it nice to know?? Now there's some explanation as to why your life might not have gone exactly how you would have wanted it to.....now you have the chance to make some changes....This is good news, right?

ABSOLUTLY !!! What a relief it was to find out what was causing it and how to treat it. Now to turn it into a GIFT !!

Yes but just remember all the fun you may have also had because of ADD

At 49 I wouldn't change to a linear thinker mode now for anything

As I get closer to retirement and I start getting senile I realize that I've been this way all my life so its no big deal.

Imagine a linear thinker who has had all there wits about them all there life and all of a sudden they start to realize that they haven't really got it together anymore. That must be catastrophic.

Where as Me in example when I start putting the milk in the cupboard and the dirty dishes in the fridge well !!!!!

That will just be another typical day

Grin

When I first began to try to take FULL responsibility for my feelings/actions, it was upon my discovery of being grossly hypoglycemic. Then I noticed the connection with sweets, caffien,
marijuana, alchohal. So it wasn't unexspected to feel lousy if I chose to partake. Then I could blame my mood on my choices, rather than an external circumstance.

Heck, I STILL blame others. Hehehe... I think society should make a LOT more elbow room for us ADD types.

But I try not to let it get in the way of taking responsibility for solving my own problems anyways.

I grew up always being blamed for my sisters misdeeds. I always felt it was my fault, I had to learn to see things more realistically so I didn't blame everything on me. Funny how twisted things can get.

Well, I'll be a bit different in that I have always blamed myself for just about anything!!

To cut a long story short, as a child, whenever there was ever any dispute between me and my sisters/brother, it was always my fault according to my dad. He pretty much convinced me that I was the sole cause of all life's miseries, and me being his biggest.

I have since looked back and understand now that it was my fault, but not my CHOICE. I was different, but that didn't mean I chose to be that way.

I now consider myself blessed(excuse the 78 piles I gotta climb over to type this..lol) in that I have my inspiration moments, and I am not adverse to change. I woud'nt mind some short-term memory, and maybe some working memory, but what the heck.

In a weird way, I can thank my dad for his misunderstanding. I always look at myself first to see if it is me, and sure enough, I catch myself out plenty of times. The good news is that I catch myself before I open my mouth. I am on self-imposed "do-not-respond" to any emotional outburst unless at least 10 minutes has past. I only got to this working last year successfully, but geez, do I change my mind alot within those 10 minutes!!

Just a different view on another common "feature" we seem to have.

Sleepz.

Originally posted by sleepzalot
I am on self-imposed "do-not-respond" to any emotional outburst unless at least 10 minutes has past. I only got to this working last year successfully, but geez, do I change my mind alot within those 10 minutes!!



Sleepz. [/B]

I MUST try this Sleepzalot.....and for an ADD'er it will be particularly challenging....but excellent idea...:)

Originally posted by sleepzalot
I always look at myself first to see if it is me, and sure enough, I catch myself out plenty of times. The good news is that I catch myself before I open my mouth. I am on self-imposed "do-not-respond" to any emotional outburst unless at least 10 minutes has past. I only got to this working last year successfully, but geez, do I change my mind alot within those 10 minutes!!

Just a different view on another common "feature" we seem to have.

Sleepz.

I agree wit Joan on Hard to Do for an ADDer but well worth the effort

I think that is an excelent piece of advice and coping stratagy