View Full Version : Getting off pain meds, SSRI change, and work.


MellyFishButt
05-30-13, 12:15 PM
Hi all,

I haven't been too active lately but wanted to share my experience in case someone else is thinking of doing the same.

A few weeks ago I had a weird experience which resulted in multiple panic attacks and severe depression. Partly caused by alcohol and partly caused by lowering pain meds without a doctor's care/knowledge. Which was incredibly stupid. That said, now that I am on doctors care I feel even worse but I am glad I can just call them for help if I need it.

I was on the Butrans patch and went on vacation in MX to relieve stress and see if it helped my pain. It helped so much that I ripped my Butrans off and three days later went through withdrawal. I took that opportunity to lower my dose to half (5mcg) and last Thursday took it off with my pain doctors consent. He gave me a low dose Vic for the withdrawal and then I met with him Tues. I had a few left and he prescribed my old cohort, Nucynta, to help with the increased pain. I should mention that I haven't ever had any issues stopping Nucynta abruptly except for my crazy night of drinking when I returned from Mexico. I am on the lowest dose possible but I am NOW just starting to go through withdrawal and finding nucynta not very helpful (helps with the cold sweats but not much else). However, I am mentally stronger than I was post-alcohol, so I am toughing it out.

My pdoc and I have been in close contact through this as he has been helping with my leave of absence paperwork (no way I can work right now). He has determined that its safe for me to get back on adderral at my lowest dose. He is also changing me from Lex to Cymbalta and I am lowering by 2mg each week.

All of this has me in Holy Vertigo and Brain Zaps, Batman! I am kind of glad I am doing this at the same time but I am not sure if I want to actually take Cymbalta and would love any reviews if you have taken it before.

The weird thing is that I keep feeling guilty that I am not at work even though I am legitimately on leave for a 'serious medical condition'. I feel like I bailed on my staff and colleagues but I also know that I am 100% not in a condition to return to work. My husband and I have decided for some major life changes and will be moving back to my hometown so I can be closer to my friends and family. While I am in an at will state, I will need to quit and I want to do it as gracefully as possible and don't want to screw anybody over. But I only have three weeks of leave left and will be moving July 1st. So I will basically give them 2 weeks notice but only working *maybe* 2-3 days so I can transfer my work back to my boss. I am not looking forward to going back (I do miss my staff terribly) but I think once I am more stable it might not be that bad, especially when I know that I won't be going back permanently. I am also scared because I am moving without a job lined up but sometimes you have to do what you have to do in order to keep your mental and health wellbeing as your top priority.

I am not too worried about not being in the office for the full two weeks since my company doesn't do direct supervisor references but rather sends any inquiries to a third party to confirm employment. As long as my profile is listed as re-hirable, I should be fine for another job. But I still feel so guilty!! I have never just bounced from a job before, but my husband has to keep reminding me that my job was the root of all my BS in the first place. What can I say, I have people pleaser issues big time.

Excited/nervous for the move but does everything in my life always have to happen at the same time?