View Full Version : Meltdown ?


Hayden_NZ
06-05-13, 03:05 AM
have recently got diagnosed with ADHD, and I think also Asperger’s.
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I’m not too sure if it’s an ADHD, or Autism/ Asperger’s thing. I have been disorganised in the past (sometimes I go into my own little world for a while), but now I’m overly organised making lists, timeframes for EVERYTHING so I don’t forget things, and also so I feel in control.
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Today my flatmate picked up my prescription for my ADHD medicine from the Doctor, and when he bought it home there was an innocent mistake with the dosage due to miscommunication on my part. It immediately made me overly stressed to the point of a panic attack and shutdown, in this case my medication was under prescribed (it was for a lesser amount), but I feel if it was overprescribed (ie I got to many tablets), I would feel the same way. I have recently been changing the timing of my dosages, and have all the information meticulously on a spreadsheet. I also time the exact date and time I pick up my prescription, not because I run out (I have pills left over, but I do it just in case there’s a flood or my doctors away etc), it’s just my personality I’m OVERLY organised in certain areas of my life, (while other things are a bit in the air, i.e planning to meet up with friends). Because my written schedule is now wrong, I’m still extremely anxious, and can’t let it go even though the problem has been sorted.
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I was wondering if this is part of Asperger’s ?, or if I’m trying to be overly organised because I have used it as a coping mechanism for ADHD, as I have only just been diagnosed as an adult, and have developed some self help coping mechanisms throughout the years ?. I feel if I did not make lists I would be chaotic and not in control.

dvdnvwls
06-05-13, 03:32 AM
This question probably doesn't have a correct answer, just some possibilities. All the things you suggested as answers might be true at the same time.

someothertime
06-05-13, 03:59 AM
So, I can kind of relate, have not been diagnosed with aspergers but have some minor traits..

Keywords here are important and control.

I think we attach a lot of meaning to "things", I think it's sine sort of deferrance from our ability to be emotionally cognitive.

I would have behaved similar in that situation.

Regarding lists, I've overfocussed on them for a few months. They are working well, yet just too much time in them. I don't always follow them. Control? I'm not sure, it's more like the object gives us something to align with, like a metronome......

Can you imaging an irregular metronome?

Your noticing the reaction, so the next step is catching it and letting yourself feel what your feeling before going off Take a day off from the lists, Sunday?


I did that for the first time in months last Sunday, at first I kind of felt guilty, like I was going to lose the ability or the previous efforts would dissappear, but if anything it made me want to use them better, mire efficiently

fracturedstory
06-05-13, 04:38 AM
I'm stuck on the word 'meltdown' here. To me it doesn't sound like a meltdown. If you don't normally blow up like this it could be the medication. It seems you want everything to be a certain way. That is an autistic thing. Or OCD. The meds could just be making you feel more anxious. I've had these sudden panic attacks that are more outbursts of anger. I suppose technically it is a meltdown. You lose control of your emotions.

I usually get 100 pills a month and can take up to 30mg. It's nothing definite. If I do change around my routine I do feel restless for a little while. I don't really think I'd blow up about being under prescribed unless I had been on them for awhile and became nervous about running out.

There have been some things I have had meltdowns/shutdowns over. I suppose it's more what you care about. I hardly ever stick to my lists. But since being on Ritalin and living away from my parents I've been less rigid.

Hayden_NZ
06-06-13, 01:12 AM
Thanks everyone for your replies, I really appreciated it. I’m finding the people on the ADHD forums here are very knowledgeable and understanding.
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@Someofthetime

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I agree my lists work very well to, but sometimes it’s ridiculous. Honestly just a simple trip to the shops and I have a whole to do list, I check out all the supermarket specials online 4 days before I go, and heaven forbid if something is out of stock it sends me into a panic. I have also recently semi recovered from agoraphobia that I had for five years,(found to much stimuli stressful, so shut myself away – still don’t go out often), so this might be part of the reason why I plan so much when I go out, and why I get stressed when I can’t get what I need, or my “to do list” does not work out. Having said that before the agoraphobia I always planned things out, because I knew how chaotic I was if I did not plan ahead, to many distractions when I’m out, and to much stimuli to concentrate, it’s like I hear every background noise, but at the same time miss what people are saying to me directly.

I’m not materialistic but your right about attaching importance to material “things”, I’m really organised in some areas and overly plan things out, but I never plan to meet up with friends, so I have lost contact with most of my friends, (besides one my flatmate I can’t avoid him, and have also been friends for 17 years), It’s like it never pops into my head to plan to see friends, I’m too busy meeting my basic material needs (like food). Because I’m a bit different, I always seem to meet interesting/different kind of people, and a lot of my friends are quite spontaneous, and change plans at the last minute to include extra people or a different place to meet, I find this stressful and sometimes don’t turn up, I really like my friends and admire them being spontaneous (I wish I was like that), but I find it to stressful. I don’t even get my haircut anymore because I don’t see it as important, and find it stressful sitting there, one on one with a hairdresser looking at myself in the mirror.
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@ Fracturedstory


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I don’t think it was a meltdown in the sense that I got angry about it, and yelled at people. It was more like I had a panic attack, and sort of shut down/went blank, which made sorting out the situation harder, and confusing for the person sorting it out. The reason why I never thought that I may have Asperger’s is I’m quite empathetic towards people, and know I’m different on some levels, so even when I’m really stressed and panicked I really try to not get angry. I’m so empathetic that the only time I get angry is when I see some type of injustice toward others, but not myself.<O:p</O:p

I did not sleep last night because I was worried the whole night that I might have seemed angry to the medical staff when I raised my problem, even though my friend/flatmate who was there when I called about the error did not think so.
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I think I have to be less ridged about the medication; I like what you wrote about some days needing more some days needing less ( 8 times out of 10 I use less than prescribed). I’m beginning to realise that every days is unique so ill be less ridged. Having said that I’m never going to go over the dose that my doctor said is ok, (45mg per day, max 15mg per dose), I feel this dosing is adequate and ill make it work through timing, and experience in understanding what situations I need it the most. I’m finding lower doses and better timing works best for me (to lower dose though makes me tired).

fracturedstory
06-06-13, 02:48 AM
Some people with AS can regret having a meltdown. Our empathy is all over the place. We might care more about one person than another, or care more about a dog than a person. I was pretty deficient in empathy towards people, like understanding why they did something or reacted the way they did, but I've since learned some things and continue to learn more.

Hayden_NZ
06-06-13, 03:41 AM
I don't think my empathy is a learned behaviour. Having said that I tend to have more empathy towards people that are a bit different, (physical/mental disability/a bit quirky etc), or working class like me, I kind of understand the struggle.

When I think of lack of empathy I think of the fictional character Sheldon Cooper, even though I love his character :-).

I think when I had my "meltdown" it was more that I felt confussed about the error, and embarrassed I did not explain myself properly and caused someone to do extra work for me sorting it out, also of course I was worried my list I stick to would be out of out of kilter. I did not see it as a tantrum or anger (my doctor and the staff are really nice), but when im anxious I think it may seem that way to others. Its sometimes funny peoples reactions to someone thats anxious, I hardly never drink (maybe twice per year) and dont do recreational drugs, but once I went to a bar and they did not serve me because they thought I was "on something", Nah im just anxious.<TABLE id=HeaderTable cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR><TD id=MainTitle noWrap>

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Flia
06-06-13, 08:41 AM
There is a common trait in Aspergers that makes us see every detail in the logistic plan, and worry, worry, worry about the smallest ones.
On the other hand there are ADHD'ers that plan everything just because they're forgetful and are afraid of missing anything.

I have both ADHD and Aspergers, and I'm a logistic nightmare. Everything is considered in my planning, and I set a gazillion alarms to remember to pack/note/do everything.

The new phones are a dream for this by the way.

Hayden_NZ
06-07-13, 01:58 AM
Flia,

Every thing you said is so true, you described me exactly. Your reply was really helpful and easy to understand. Thanks so much :-).

Flia
06-07-13, 06:11 AM
Flia,

Every thing you said is so true, you described me exactly. Your reply was really helpful and easy to understand. Thanks so much :-).

You're welcome :)
And by the way:
The best way to avoid anxiety over this is to accept it, maybe wallow in it for a while, and let yourself do all the planning without wondering why.

Remember: You're a logistician, you see things others don't, which is a pretty good trait to have.
Stand up for who you are and don't apologize for the things you do!