View Full Version : 24 hours and running...crashing soon


iamaddicted
06-20-13, 05:39 PM
I am no different from you, if you are addicted to adderall. My stories are the same; I have been using on and off for a long time. It is taking its toll. why cant I stop? Why aren't my kids important enough, my self worth, my spirituality, my soul? I was feeling so good before i got the script too.

the drill is one in half weeks of non stop adderilyzing, one week of sleep, another of groggy existence and then one of greatness and the return to normalcy.
I am really afraid my chemicals will not go back. I have done the research, I have been on the ride for a long time. I am already depressed, with a lot of baggage, grieving, anxious, and in a bad relationship.

Really I am venting and asking for help- crying out for help. Help me.
Help me in any way that you can
please

midnightstar
06-20-13, 05:44 PM
Welcome to the forum, have you spoken to the doctor about it?

Fraser_0762
06-20-13, 05:52 PM
Your chemical levels will go back to normal over time. But if you're addicted to Adderall, I would suggest gradually reducing the amount you take day by day, instead of just going completely cold turkey.

It's very important that you start this process now, because you're aware of the damage its doing to yourself and the people around you.

sarek
06-20-13, 05:56 PM
the drill is one in half weeks of non stop adderilyzing, one week of sleep, another of groggy existence and then one of greatness and the return to normalcy.
\

Why these cycles of Adderall usage? Is that what the doctor told you to do?

What exactly have you been dx ed with? Is it AD(H)D or is there more?

iamaddicted
06-20-13, 06:05 PM
Your chemical levels will go back to normal over time. But if you're addicted to Adderall, I would suggest gradually reducing the amount you take day by day, instead of just going completely cold turkey.

It's very important that you start this process now, because you're aware of the damage its doing to yourself and the people around you.
well i am out of the pills as of tomorrow and i do this every month. Kind of know what I am in for. Answering moderator for mind and heart- um these cycles of adderrall usage are part of the disease of addiction. sure i have a diagnosis of ADHD but who doesn't? generalized anxiety disorder and depression.
The doctor does not know.
I am too ashamed, embarrassed and humiliated to share this with him. I can go to NA or AA or a friend and admit it freely, but not the doctor. I feel guilty for lying and manipulating him.

I have klonopin for my nerves, but probably wont need it. Justis sleep so much.. Is there anyone else who can relate with me?

thanks for your comments

that's me

midnightstar
06-20-13, 06:17 PM
Honey, the doctor needs to know - if you feel you can't tell him/her write it down for him or her to read :grouphug:

emily848
06-20-13, 06:26 PM
sure i have a diagnosis of ADHD but who doesn't?

Lots of people do not have and have not been diagonsed with ADHD. Lots of people with ADHD take Adderall responsibly and are not addicted.

Don't beat yourself up asking why can't you stop when it's hurting you and those you love. That's addiction. The disease you have is addiction. It is NOT your fault. Addiction is NOT a moral failing. Addiction is one of the WORST diseases you can have and it is HARD to overcome.

Like they say in 12-step meetings: "It'll work if you work it, so work it 'cause YOU'RE WORTH IT!" It is WORK. It is about the hardest work you can do, but you have to do it if you want your life back.

sarahsweets
06-21-13, 07:01 AM
you need to see an addiction specialist or counselor to help you with this. You can not do this alone. 12 step meetings can help but they are not for everyone. If you tell your doctor they will cut you off, but in your case that might be what is best. If you abuse a prescription intended for the treatment of adhd, its unlikely that you could safely take the same med again in the future. Perhaps, done the line, vyvanse or concerta which are much harder to abuse would work but not without addiction treatment.

CthulhuMinion
06-23-13, 08:49 AM
you need to see an addiction specialist or counselor to help you with this. You can not do this alone. 12 step meetings can help but they are not for everyone. If you tell your doctor they will cut you off, but in your case that might be what is best. If you abuse a prescription intended for the treatment of adhd, its unlikely that you could safely take the same med again in the future. Perhaps, done the line, vyvanse or concerta which are much harder to abuse would work but not without addiction treatment.

Let's not create a self fulfilling prophecy here. I know plenty of people who were able to quit addictions to various drugs without any outside help.

I know that seeing an addiction specialist can be a huge plus, but it's not the only way. And 12 step programs are the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

The success rate of 12 step programs is abysmal.

sarahsweets
06-23-13, 09:25 AM
This is WHY i said 12 step meetings are not for everyone, i was trying to keep my opinion out of it about whether or not 12 step meetings are something I personally would do. And the OP is addicted, they are crying out for help, there is no self fulfilling prophecy, they are not telling their doctor they need help.


Let's not create a self fulfilling prophecy here. I know plenty of people who were able to quit addictions to various drugs without any outside help.

I know that seeing an addiction specialist can be a huge plus, but it's not the only way. And 12 step programs are the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

The success rate of 12 step programs is abysmal.

daveddd
06-23-13, 09:34 AM
Let's not create a self fulfilling prophecy here. I know plenty of people who were able to quit addictions to various drugs without any outside help.

I know that seeing an addiction specialist can be a huge plus, but it's not the only way. And 12 step programs are the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

The success rate of 12 step programs is abysmal.

i quite coke on my own, but because my social anxiety was too bad for meetings

im truly curious as why people tend to have such an issue with AA

the rates arent as bad as you would think if you take out the people who are forced there by court, addiction doesnt work like that

Blanched Dubois
06-23-13, 09:39 AM
I am no different from you, if you are addicted to adderall. My stories are the same; I have been using on and off for a long time. It is taking its toll. why cant I stop? Why aren't my kids important enough, my self worth, my spirituality, my soul? I was feeling so good before i got the script too.

the drill is one in half weeks of non stop adderilyzing, one week of sleep, another of groggy existence and then one of greatness and the return to normalcy.
I am really afraid my chemicals will not go back. I have done the research, I have been on the ride for a long time. I am already depressed, with a lot of baggage, grieving, anxious, and in a bad relationship.

Really I am venting and asking for help- crying out for help. Help me.
Help me in any way that you can
please

You're bottoming out so you just need to say to yourself 'congratulations' - you're ready to accept that you're an addict like the rest of the world and you need help. Get some professional you trust and do the work. That's the gift you've been given today and that's why you wrote what you did - you're in the safest place to do this so don't fear the pain - at least you'll be supported in it and you'll find what you call your chemicals is what life is a combination of - the chemicals won't hurt you as much as you will using them indiscriminately.

Welcome. Good luck. You'll be fine once you get some sleep and find some pro to work with honestly.

emily848
06-24-13, 03:35 PM
Let's not create a self fulfilling prophecy here. I know plenty of people who were able to quit addictions to various drugs without any outside help.

I know that seeing an addiction specialist can be a huge plus, but it's not the only way. And 12 step programs are the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

The success rate of 12 step programs is abysmal.

What is the self-fulfilling prophecy? This post makes no sense to me. 12-step programs have helped a huge number of people. Recovery rates were ABYSMAL before the 12-step program concept existed. It is true that they are not for everyone, but I've gone to many 12-step meetings where someone has said that going to the meetings is the only thing keeping them sober going on 5-years, 10-years, whatever.

Success does require the participant investing themselves in the program and probably also requires a sponsor to help the addict work their way through the steps.

Actually, it is addiction that reflects the definition of insanity: "THIS TIME I'll be able to control it . . ."

Some people can quit an addiction on their own, but 12-step meetings are for the addict who realizes that they CAN'T DO IT ALONE.

Fraser_0762
06-24-13, 03:41 PM
I don't believe in admitting that you're "powerless" to alcohol or drugs.

It's about over powering these addictions, not being over powered by them!

emily848
06-24-13, 04:00 PM
I don't believe in admitting that you're "powerless" to alcohol or drugs.

It's about over powering these addictions, not being over powered by them!

I've heard of people who use the 12-step program itself as their higher power. It's just about finding something you can believe in outside yourself. One person I know who surfs as a hobby used the ocean as his higher power.

Sometimes you actually are powerless over your addiction and that's why you need to look for power outside of yourself. Though some people can do it on their own, MANY people cannot, so if they keep telling themselves that they just need to try harder then they will never succeed.

The addict's trap is believing that somehow they'll be able to control their use of the addictive substance someday. Admitting powerlessness is admitting that control is impossible.

Raye
06-27-13, 09:44 AM
As a former addict, I can tell you that you will know when the time is to get real help. You, and only you can decide to do it. When you are ready.

arxonius
07-14-13, 09:17 PM
I am no different from you, if you are addicted to adderall. My stories are the same; I have been using on and off for a long time. It is taking its toll. why cant I stop? Why aren't my kids important enough, my self worth, my spirituality, my soul? I was feeling so good before i got the script too.

the drill is one in half weeks of non stop adderilyzing, one week of sleep, another of groggy existence and then one of greatness and the return to normalcy.
I am really afraid my chemicals will not go back. I have done the research, I have been on the ride for a long time. I am already depressed, with a lot of baggage, grieving, anxious, and in a bad relationship.

Really I am venting and asking for help- crying out for help. Help me.
Help me in any way that you can
please

Dont call the doctor when your out and wanting it really bad,you will NEVER do that. Call the doctor just after you took it,when the addiction is satisfied and quitting seems like the most rational thing in the world. At that point,you just put yourself on a path your stuck on,because hes stop prescribing it and you can start down the road to recovering. Get help. The thing is,there are people saying you can do it on your own,and maybe you can,but it seems like your in pretty deep.

ana futura
07-14-13, 11:48 PM
I hope you don't mind my asking, but I am curious, how did the addiction start? What is it about adderall that you like so much? Where you like this in the beginning, or did it happen over time?

It is hard for me to understand the appeal, whereas i do understand the appeal of things like alcohol and MDMA. Was it simply because it made you more productive? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

mildadhd
07-15-13, 09:05 AM
I am already depressed, with a lot of baggage, grieving, anxious, and in a bad relationship. -Imaddicted



For me, suboptimal stressful conditions are a major trigger to cravings.

Being hypersensitive, suboptimal stressful conditions set off a change reaction.

Discovering optimal stress that promotes development helps.

Constantly exposed to suboptimal stress, will most certainly cause me to backslide over time.

Example If I got bills to pay with no money to pay them and no job to make money.

I can barley concentrate when I try to read. (can't focus and don't enjoy trying)

If the bills are payed and I have a job and not concerned about the bills.

I can focus much better and enjoy reading.

I would work on the topics in the quote above with your Doctor,

I could be wrong, but if these topics are dealt with, maybe the cravings would be less.




i!i

no_sleep
07-19-13, 05:40 AM
I am no different from you, if you are addicted to adderall. My stories are the same; I have been using on and off for a long time. It is taking its toll. why cant I stop? Why aren't my kids important enough, my self worth, my spirituality, my soul? I was feeling so good before i got the script too.

the drill is one in half weeks of non stop adderilyzing, one week of sleep, another of groggy existence and then one of greatness and the return to normalcy.
I am really afraid my chemicals will not go back. I have done the research, I have been on the ride for a long time. I am already depressed, with a lot of baggage, grieving, anxious, and in a bad relationship.

Really I am venting and asking for help- crying out for help. Help me.
Help me in any way that you can
please


Hey Iamaddicted,

I haven't posted on here before but I have on other adderall websites, but I just thought I would let you know I am exactly like you! Do the exact same thing every month, as do multiple friends of mine, and am pretty much at your same point right now too! (even though I've visited this point many times before). Besides letting you know you're definitely not alone in this adderall-binge cycle, the only other way I can help is by telling you that it's probably 100% necessary to tell your doctor to stop prescribing it to you. You don't have to get into the deep specifics as to why or tell him/her that you have been abusing it - there are a million different reasons people get off medications, pick one and get it over with.

I know it's really scary but it's for you to take care of yourself, so don't feel guilty about lying to your doctor. If you would rather just straight up tell your doctor what's been going on and face the risk your doctor feels betrayed, then be honest and go from there. I highly doubt your doctor would take your request personally, and if they do, then they're a ****ty doctor and aren't genuinely concerned about whats best for your well-being. Tell them you're an addict and they should do their best to treat you accordingly, aka stay away from prescribing anything addictive. Tell them a different reason for your request to stop prescribing stimulants and they should adhere to this as well.

Either way - just keep reminding yourself it's for YOUR own good, regardless of what you decide to say - the only way you will stop abusing adderall is to remove your access. I think you know that deep down and that's why you haven't said anything to your doctor yet - atleast that's how I feel about my situation so I don't blame ya! it's really scary because you know that's like the final step and a real honest attempt to get yourself healthy...for good, not just until next month, for good. Cause then what? What if you can't handle it? That's just me and what goes through my head when considering doing the same...

If you are really ready to start fresh, a life that doesn't have to revolve around adderall, then I suggest you tell your doctor asap and just get it over with ... I think I'm going to do the same right after I take my last pill.
Sorry I kinda rambled on, I am going through the exact same situation, so in writing to you I kind of realized a couple things for myself too.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I'm right there with ya! And I know plenty of others who are as well. I completely understand how you are feeling. I'd like to hear more about your situation and history so hopefully you read this response and let me know how things are going!

keep your head up :)