View Full Version : Add In Oregon


Cognigen
02-15-05, 08:03 AM
Greetings! I am very new here. I was first Dx'd as a child... Grew up in a family that was in denial of it. I have not sought any treatment, this forum would be the closest thing since, I was in grade school. I believe ADD has effected every aspect of my life. As, I have read in the past few years, ADD effects your job. I am now almost 30 years old and have never held a job more than 6 months in my life. I am positive, I can not be the only person with ADD that that is having these problems in life. Currently, I am unemployed, as usual, I want to work, but my track record really sucks, as you could imagine. I am finally at the point, where I am recognizing I do have ADD, and I need help desparately!! So, how do I go about getting help, when #1 all the doctors in my rural eastern oregon area, seem to refuse adult ADD even exists, and #2 being unemployed, I can not spend money I don't have on seeing all the doctors in the yellow pages, until hopefully, I find one that will treat adult ADD? I also am not in a financial position that I could even begin to afford regular doctor visits, or any prescriptions.. I don't know I feel like I am at wits end with myself, my condition, my thoughts, mental stability, and even the person I am. I want help, and begin to see things move to the positive, and stop the cycle of self destruction, for which I don't understand. Any help or ideas, would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.

fluffy_bunny
02-15-05, 02:44 PM
Hi and welcome to the boards. I am just like you, aged 30 and having held about 15 jobs since graduating college. And unfortunately, the same kind of patterns seem to be starting at the current job that I've held for a year. Mostly it is due to my poor verbal impulse control, not stopping to think how something I say will make someone feel. I just got diagnosed a month and a half ago and have started the meds. They definitely help with concentration and thinking in a more linear fashion, but there are some things it can't help. It can't change all the patterns you've had your whole life, I guess that's where the hard work comes in.

I really feel for your situation out there in rural Eastern Oregon. Is there any way you can come over here to Portland for diagnosis and then ask your psychologist for references and recommendations out there? When you call psychologists ask what their main area of practice is and if they don't say AD/HD, ask, "about what percentage of your patients have AD/HD?" If they say none, you can say, "thank you very much." (They're obviously in denial about the whole condition and won't be effective as a counselor.)

As for prescriptions, the generics are pretty affordable, even without coverage. (E.g. 100 Dexedrine for $60- I take about 60 tablets a month) Is there any way you can get on any family member's insurance? Domestic partner? Oregon Health Plan? And many psychologists have sliding scales for fees. I only saw my doctor once for the exam and prescription and have an app't. at the 3-month mark. Though I am in very good shape and have no heart or blood pressure problems.

Starting medication will help you be more motivated to get a new job and help with the feeling of helplessness and being overwhelmed b/c you will be doing something to change your life. It will also help b/c you'll be better at making good decisions; the medication slows down the thought process so you can think something through the whole way and decide upon the best course of action. In the past I never could sort out all the "counseling voices" going on in my head and just made decisions on gut instinct... which equaled jobs that weren't right for me.

You need counseling in order to deal with the self-esteem and confidence issues that came from being misunderstood most of your life. And you might find that you never finish some things b/c you just weren't that interested in them in the first place.

Good luck, hope to hear from you on the boards soon.

Cognigen
02-16-05, 07:21 PM
Thanks Bunny! I GREATLY appreciate the info! I wish I could get to Portland, I have been looking for work, and that's the worst part of it, I choke badly in interviews. The voices are telling me way too many things! LOL Then I choke! My problem with work is I do really good until it begins to become routine then my mind wanders and I get sluggish, sluggish, and tired then someone makes a comment about my working to slow... Or, makes fun of my carelessness, or the way I cant stand or sit still, or I even get accused of being on drugs. (which I have never done) Then I get ****ed and there is usually a verbal confrontation and I walk. Thats the way it was for me all the way through school too..

These doctors here all say, I just need to "buck up" and get over it, we all go through our days, or learn to control it. Like it's something I can control.. Do they actually think I want to act like I am "gacked" out of my mind? All the time. I have lost jobs because of that too! Even after they insist on a UA and I pass, they still have it in thier heads that I am on something. To me, it is completely unnoticable until someone mentions it.

I am going to check and see if I am eligible for the Oregon Heath Plan. Then try to get something accomplished that way. All I know, is I can't go on like this much longer, without some kind of change. I only have so many employment choices where I live and I have about burned bridges with all of them.

Thanks for your reply! It was VERY kind of you! I hope to see ya around, on the board. Best Wishes to you!
J

fluffy_bunny
02-19-05, 02:32 PM
That getting mad and walking off? Poor impulse control. And then after it's over you think, "that was the stupidest thing to do and I swore a hundred times I wouldn't do it again... even if they deserved it." That's the thing that's most frustrating, dealing w/ being out of control and how it overshadows people's opinion of you, over all the good traits you have. It's a really hard thing to accept, but you really can't control some things and it's a huge mental shift for people to understand what it's like to not be able to stop yourself from doing things. Most people can understand a little bit because sometimes they do stupid things, too, but mostly they can curb their impulses and don't understand how frustrating it is to not be able to "pull it together." I'm sure they're kind and well-intentioned, but they're only training you to come down harder on yourself.
There are some things that cannot be fixed without medication. And sadly, there are many things that medication cannot fix. But medication gives you the tools to work on the things you are able to control.
For instance, meetings that last more than a half an hour are very hard on me; when I start getting bored, I start saying impulsive stuff, getting the meeting off-track (but more interesting). Now I'm able to make a plan before going into a meeting, "I'm only going to answer direct questions, I'm going to stick to these main points, I will try to keep a calm and interested manner, I will not engage with so-and-so..."
So nice of you to be thankful for my reply, but really I feel a sense of obligation in sharing my experience! I feel like, "if only I can make other people understand that they're not the only ones to experience this and it's really possible to change!" With diagnosis and treatment, there is a LOT of hope. My friendships have deepened b/c now I can listen well and pay attention to them. A really big thing is that I'm much more motivated and able to accomplish goals which leads to increases in self-esteem. Slowly. It's hard to undo a life time of "if only you applied yourself" and "you're so stubborn." I know you will come through on the other side, you've got a lot of energy and the drive to make things better.