In college I almost have a 4.0 grade average, but when it comes to jobs I either fall apart, or if they are not structured right I either end up quitting or getting fired because I cannot do the job right. The state is paying for me to go to school, but at the same time I am contemplating graduate school, something they are willing to pay for.

I was recently discharged as a correctional officer because they felt "I couldn't do the job", which is a bunch of bullshi*t. My way of thinking me being able to pass every course at the academy, then getting pulled right before graduation throws flags up in my mind. I have filed a discrimination charge with the state against the state agency and at the same time an internal EEO complaint against the corrections agency.

The agency sent me to a psychiatrist who was not independent, when the chief of mental health specifically told it in her letter. I could tell right from the start when they put me on a two week administrative leave that was setting me up to get fired, no if ands or buts. That’s common sense. The department refuses to give me a copy of my personnel file, so I have to file a charge with the state just to get a copy of my personnel file. Do I have anger built up inside of what happened yes, but I am trying my best to deal with it. I was able to draw unemployment and am currently looking for jobs. But I also have come to the conclusion I might as well apply for SSI because with frequent job losses, having to cope with high levels of anxiety and major depression, it’s getting to the point where it’s useless to find a job. Society out there doesn't understand our condition, and I honestly thought the state would. But that proved me wrong, granite every agency is different.

I was recently switched to Wellbutrin XL and am taking 4mg of Klonopin before I go to bed. It relaxes me, but at the same time I find myself always being a night owl and not a day person. Out of all these scenarios my dad refuses to understand (who also has add) where I am coming from and I just refuse to talk to him because it’s getting to the point of arguing with a brick wall. Jobs are scarce; I am getting ready to graduate with my bachelor’s degree in interdisciplinary studies with a minor in public administration. I admit that one class I am taking right now Public Finance and Budgeting is a useless class, because it's stuck in the 1980's mode of the way it’s taught. No one uses ledgers and papers anymore, they use excel or access to balance budgets. I chose to enroll in graduate school specifically, human performance and training based on the fact I feel I can do more and I yearn for the knowledge per se. This is hard to explain and it's really a two fold situation and frankly again I am confused and don't know what the hell to do.

Friends can only help so much, but it’s my responsibility to get what I need to get done, psychotherapy to a point helps, but it seems to always focus on things I already have been told in the past. Anyways, I just had to get this off my mind and just want everyone’s input on this and suggestions on what to do next. Hope everyone has good day today.
Erik

I'm sorry your going through this tough time. I was in a similar situation about 6 months ago.

Since you filed a grievance with the state, you could see if any of the ADA applies to your situation.

Good luck,

Tim

Wow, you sound just like myself about six years ago, including the fact that you worked in corrections and I was a probation officer. I wasn't fired, but only because I made myself invaluable ( I learned how set up and install a new home sobriety monitor) but you should have seen my desk, I would talk to "clients" from behind a sea of files. I found that my greatest enemy when it comes to finding a job that I will be able to tolerate, and the employer will be able to do the same is my impulseivity. I had to learn to say no and be able to step back and take it slow, no diving in head first into anything. I hope your situation improves soon. Capt Kylos

I admit that one class I am taking right now Public Finance and Budgeting is a useless class, because it's stuck in the 1980's mode of the way it’s taught. No one uses ledgers and papers anymore, they use excel or access to balance budgets. Being a Can-ADD-ian I will only comment on this part of your post.

Yes they use Excell to do stuff now but you have to be able to understand the way to do it the old way on paper for it to make real sence.........

But that is my opinion

Well I have these options. I still have to go to the bank and deposit my paycheck, which I can do tonight. I still have to catch up with two days worth of homework this weekend. I got a letter in the mail from the state telling me they are investigating the charges internally, but I don't expect anything good to come out of it. Dept of Human Rights has not sent it out the external charge yet, but when the employer gets it sh*t is going to hit the fan and I know I don't have the money for an attorney. If I get my job back, who knows how that will go...

I know they say have faith in the system, but I've lost it at least with that state agency. So now I lose dental insurance at the end of the month, I applied through the state for medical assistance and am getting a form in the mail that basically says I get my doctor's signature on it saying I am not able to work until my conditions have improved. They took me off my wellbutrin and put me on seroquel, I am supposed to be going on something else on Monday. (Man is that stuff strong, I took one and it put me to sleep within fifteen minutes.) So now I am off the stimulants, I can function. Trying to keep on task with things, that one is right out the window.

Should I go to grad school if the state is willing to pay for it? People are telling me to apply for medicaid and ssi. But I am able to walk, jump, speak, and run just like everyone else, so I dont know what to do. What would anyone do in this situation? I've missed two of my classes already and am at the breaking point because of what happened. I am still concentrating on graduating and getting my work done.

The new doctor dx me with attention deficit disorder with hyperactivity and generalized anxiety disorder, basically without the depression, but that comes and goes. I am taking the klonopin like the doctor told me to keep on taking. Two midterms next week, have to get 4 cavities done next week....so how the hell is everyones weekend going so far...?