I'm going to try to be as brief as possible, without leaving out anything too too important.

Basically, I'm really struggling right now. I suspect I have ADD, and my symptoms match, and the online tests, etc. But I wanted to ask some real people.

I'm a senior at a faux-ivy league school- really competitive, driven, stressful, etc. etc. The past couple years, it has been getting harder and harder for me to do my schoolwork. I get distracted, I'm not motivated, I'm overwhelmed, the list goes on and on. My grades are suffering. I am in danger of failing last semester because I never finished my work. I feel like I can't, and it's not that I don't try, because I do. I want very badly just to have it finished so I won't have to worry about it!
I used to keep myself on track by living like a robot- I had every day planned to 15 minute intervals. But I can't do that anymore! I was miserable and felt dead. I'm not depressed and sad like that anymore, but I also feel like everything is totally out of control. I can't even get basic stuff done like making sure I have food, because I am constantly trying to do approx one billion things at once.
No one ever suggested I had ADD. I was the smart kid in the family. I skipped a grade in school. I went to a really tough school. I asked my mom about this, because she knows a lot about early childhood education. She thinks I'm full of it, which concerns me, because I know she'd tell me if she believed it.
On the other hand, I remember being criticized for things that might be relevent. Extreme messiness, of course, but my mother constantly tells me how I never finished anything, even as a small child. I used to do really dumb stuff- like try to pour a glass of juice, and forget there was no lid, try to pour and spill it everywhere. And we're talking 14 or 15, not 5 or 6. That type of thing has gotten better, but I feel like every day is so draining - it's so hard trying to remember all the stupid little things! keys, books, cell phone, ciggs, lighter, etc etc. I used to lose/forget my keys three times a week. I spend 95% of my brain energy trying to remember things or just worrying about things. I lose my keys a lot less now, but I feel too drained to do any actual intellectual activity.
This is pretty terrible for me. I loved school as a kid. Now I hate it, not because I'm not interested, but because I feel like I can't live up to my responsibilities and obligations. I feel sorta crazy, because it's like I'm constantly going in circles. Every day I ask myself "What's wrong with me?" It just escapes from my mouth, because I can't explain what's going on.
Somehow, I'm not convinced it's ADD, because no one has ever mentioned it to me. And I always just thought I was a space-cadet and felt horribly guilty. I've spend 10 years trying to be "less of a flake" so as not to dissapoint those around me, or myself. The online tests make it sound like it might actually be severe, but I'm not convinced it's not just anxiety (even though I know they go together). I was just hoping maybe somebody had felt similiarly, or knows someone who has, or at least has enough experience with ADD/ADHD to tell me whether I'm totally nuts, could weigh in. I feel like the clarity that comes from experience could really help me understand what the hecks going on with me. Thanks for your time, it means the world to me in this current crisis state!

Thanks and then some more thanks,
Katy

p.s. sorry the brevity thing didn't work out.

Katy,

No one ever mentioned ADD to me, yet I find myself identifying more and more with both the positives and negatives that come with it. Like you, I did well in school early on. It was only when I started getting challenged (esp. with math) that my problems surfaced.

Schedule some time with a professional that can give you some direction. I started with my GP and have moved on to a psychologist for screening and some tools to cope with whatever my problems may be. Even if you don't have ADD, there is enough going on to justify talking to someone about the problems. On a side note, I haven't even told my mother about this, yet. I just don't want to deal with the response I know I'll get.

I know what you are going through. If you are feeling this bad, please seek some answers.

Check with the student health clinic to see what they offer. I think it would even be confidential from your parents (until you felt comfortable with the timing).

Let us know.

There are a few things that might be a problem.
Anxiety at being senior might be one. You seem pretty smart so you probably instinctively know a big part of your life is coming to a close and it's time to start the next phase. I know that stressed me out quite a bit. And having a bad case of HLS (Hectic Life Syndrome - I just made that up) could cause anyone to frazzle. Other things to consider is that you might be depressed - as depression symptoms are often confused with ADHD (or the other way around).

That said, you may just have the same kind of chemistry in your head that makes for someone with ADHD. If you can talk to the school sawbones you should be able to get a recommendation on who to go to for diagnosis and treatment. Also, please understand I'm not trying to knock your mom's background at all. But unless she is educated specifically about ADHD or depression then she may not be the best person to diagnose you. I loved my mom - but I didn't ask her to do surgery when I needed it. ;)

On a brighter not, you might not be the only person that has faced this sort of thing at your school. If it's a pressure cooker environment then it's likely other students have worked as hard as you and run into the same hurdle. So the staff *should* know what to do to help you.

Talk to the person providing health care at the school as soon as you can. I'm new to this forum but I'm fairly certain that most everyone here will be rooting for you to get through this. I know I will be.

Bestest,
Motorbrain