I had my second session with my psychologist today. Earlier this week, I completed the two page self assessment survey (can't remember which one :P. I scored an 88 which is well above the average score for someone with ADD so he (and I) feel that ADD is definitely one of my problems. I'm going to talk with my GP tomorrow and get a prescription for Ritalin. If that works, I can begin the process of undoing some of the mess that's in my head.

I was feeling pretty relieved about today until I talked with my wife. She said that it seems easy to fake some of the answers to the test because I had done research and knew the responses that were likely to lead to diagnosis. Now I have my old buddy, self doubt, careening through my head. I tried to go with my first impulse answers to the test. Even if some of my responses were exaggerated, it was only by one checkbox over. I could have probably checked the next-less severe box on every answer and still be comfortably in ADD range. Damnit. Sometimes I don't know why people doubt me so much. In any case, I have another evaluation to fill out that will rule out other causes of my problems.

Sorry for the rant. Much thanks to all of you for sharing some of your stories that let me know I'm not just making all this up.

Sounds like your wife read the book for ADD-denying family members.
If you haven't already figured it out, there is a very large portion of the population who simply don't believe ADHD exists, so therefore anyone who claims to have it must be lazy, stupid or lazy.
However, I'm willing to bet that if Ritalin helps you focus and concentrate, and you do your part to develop and maintain ADHD coping and management skills, she will see the difference in you just as plain as day.
Hang in there; you are doing this for yourself, not for her.

Thanks for the encouragement. I talked with my wife some more tonight and she is actually supportive of the diagnosis. It turns out that she was anxious about what kind of person I might turn into when the medication and therapy start to take effect. In other words, will I be a completely different person than the man she married? I can certainly understand her feelings because I've had similar thoughts. We just have to keep in mind that the bad aspects of ADD are causing real problems for both of us and change is necessary to start the healing process.

BTW, Swamp Donkey, I took a look at your occupation. It sounds like a blast. Some of my more focused moments are when I'm working on my motorcycle or welding something.

Hey, I can really relate. No one in my family wants to believe it's ADD (glad you're wife is believing even if a bit scared). I've done the history and psychologist says it's ADD. Tomorrow I take the TOVA. Nervous that I'll do well on it -- that maybe I was just faking the answers (I wasn't -- but I sure related to your fears!). Good luck. I hope the meds and what you learn about ADHD help you and your wife make your life together smoother and happier!

Scattered

I can only offer this support, as an Adult with ADHD, and that is that the medications haven't changed "me"...I am still creative and active which I was afraid would disappear with medication. The medications have simply slowed down the chaos in my head so that I can actually get more done with greater comfort! I am also easier to live with which makes my relationships with husband and kids much more pleasant and effective.

Good luck and have patience...it is a growing process.

Kim