My girlfriend (17) is the only person I have told about my ADD and meds. I've actually told her that I don't think I have ADD but the medication helps me stay concentrated and helps with school because I am a bit embarassed about admitting that I have ADD. I was on ritalin for a few weeks and it put me into really horrible moods and it really affected the relationship with my girlfriend. Now I have been on Dexedrine for a week and it helps so much with school and also doesn't put me into moods at all. Everyday I talk to my girlfriend she says "Did you take it today?" and if I say yes then she asks "why? you don't really need it". She usually gets really angry with me and says its like any other street drug, and sure it may help, but alot of drugs would help but that doesn't mean everyone should take them. I tell her how much they help but she doesn't seem to get it and is concerned that it will ruin our relationship or turn me into a different person I think. Just the fact that she's with me and "I'm on something" really bothers her. Has anyone had simlar experiences? What did you do?.

Matt

I assume your girlfriend is not a medical doctor. If that's the case, tell her that you are going to follow your doctor's advice and continue taking the meds. Remind her that it's helping you in school and whatever else. If she still insists upon being a complete petulant child, get rid of her!

Take care of yourself. NEVER compromise something that works for you just because some girl wants you to. girls come and go, you'll be with yourself for the rest of your life. it may seem like love lasts forever, but believe me, you are 99.9% likely to not be with this girl in the future, and even if you were do you really think it's healthy for you to stay with someone who is encouraging you to stop taking meds that are helping you? HELL NO!!!

As advice columnist dan savage says "DTMFA" that stands for dump the BLEEP already. She's a serious danger to you friend.

At_wits_end

Hello Matt~
Welcome to the forum. I am really curious about why your girlfriend is concerned about you taking medicine for ADD. If you feel you are seeing a big difference when you are taking your medicine, that is what needs to be thought about. I am sorry to hear that your girlfriend is not wanting you to take a medicine that is helping you, & that you are in a tough situation right now. Have you explained to her that you are seeing a big difference when you do take it?

All the luck to you with this.

My girlfriend (17) is the only person I have told about my ADD and meds. I've actually told her that I don't think I have ADD but the medication helps me stay concentrated and helps with school because I am a bit embarassed about admitting that I have ADD. A lot of people are "bit embarassed about admitting that They have ADD.

This to me is matter of how you percieve the ADD

Let me reference you to a certain thread then decide how " You wish To Percieve "

*are* you or do you *have* Attention Deficit Disorder? (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7648)




I was on ritalin for a few weeks and it put me into really horrible moods and it really affected the relationship with my girlfriend. Several people on here have hade the same experence and


Now I have been on Dexedrine for a week and it helps so much with school and also doesn't put me into moods at all. have changed to dexadrine and it works great, myself being one of them



Everyday I talk to my girlfriend she says "Did you take it today?" and if I say yes then she asks "why? you don't really need it". She usually gets really angry with me and says its like any other street drug, and sure it may help, but alot of drugs would help but that doesn't mean everyone should take them.What would she say if you had diabetes and had to inject insulun each day

would that be the same "you would be on something"


I tell her how much they help but she doesn't seem to get it and is concerned that it will ruin our relationship or turn me into a different person I think. It does have that terrible effect of turning people into better organized ,clearer thinking , more relaxed individuals

Just the fact that she's with me and "I'm on something" really bothers her. What would she say if you had diabetes and had to inject insulun each day

would that be the same "you would be on something"



Has anyone had simlar experiences? What did you do?.
Matt
I had the same experence but with a smokable kind of medication and the person couldn't understand that I used it for the calming and relaxing effect...

So in one sence I do understand

I also had the reverse were my wife was trying to help me by reminding me to take the dexadrine at first when it was prescribed, but I found that I only take it when I feel I need it and then it works so much better.

If I take it all the time I get used to being that way all the time and when I forget to take it then I become a bear

So moderation when I need it is my rule to medicate by

works for me

Another Post You Might Find Useful

How Many Stages of ADD Are There (D:My DocumentsDesktopADD101Stages.htm)

Sorry you are going through this situation.

I'll tell you this, I wish I was diagnosed as a teen. Instead, I was 33 and my life was beginning to fall apart.

Follow your doctor's orders. If you just started taking the meds, give is a couple months for you body to adjust (opss, almost forgot to take mine). If they work for you, stick with it. No one has the right tell you to not take a prescribed medication. This is your choice alone.

Explain to her it helps you stay focused in school, daily tasks, and when you are with her. Tell her it helps you stay focused when your kissing her. ;) This is the way your brain was made. I use the example of electrical signals jump from one cell to another to create thoughts. In the brain of a person with ADD, those signals sometimes don't make it across to the other side. The medication helps these signals make it to the otherside.

This is a very important step in your life. Stay on course for yourself. You won't regret it.

Welcome to the forums Matt,

My son (12) recently attended an in school lecture on drug addiction and abuse. He immediatly came home and tried to talk his father and I out of giving him his Strattera because it was a drug and he didn't want to be a drug addict anymore. It's my opinion that these programs work and are very helpful in keeping children away from drugs but do to time, money and lack of training they do not touch on the issue of "theraputic drugs". Do you think that with a little patience and education on "theraputic meds" your girlfriend would be more understanding and accept the fact that you don't seem to need the med because of the med. You could never tell my son was ADHD unless of course his med was held for some reason. If you need your medication to excell and succeed in this world then by all means do not let someone who is un-educated in the matter rule your decisions. If your girlfriend loves you then acceptance and tolerance are something she must demonstrate, if she continues to refuse I would definatly think about making some choices were she is concerned it may be rough and hurt like hell but in the end do you really see yourself spending the rest of your life with someone who does not put your health above misconceptions?

Good luck and keep up posted
Cherity

Matt,
Are you able to check a library for books about ADHD? A really good book for teenagers and young adults is _Teenagers with ADD_, by Chris A. Zeigler Dendy, M.S..

There are so many myths in the media and it is probably a lot for your girlfriend to absorb without more information.
L.

Welcome to the forum... I was sort of in the same situation where my boyfriend didnt want me to take my Medication... But as it was said before me if it is helping you then why should you stop... There is no reason to not live life to the fullest and I found my Meds helped...

Seems like your g/f regards ADD as a mind-over-matter kind of a problem - and is lending you the 'moral assistance' to 'stay off drugs'.
It's a shame the world can't step into an ADD skin for a month - far easier than trying to explain the difficulties.
Well she doesn't know what living in your head is like and she SAF ain't no doctor.
Always follow your own route - it pays in the long run.
Heidi

Dude, she is 17. At 17 I don't think that she has the maturity to help you decide what to do with your life and your brain. If she keeps on it, let her go. You need to take care of yourself and not let her will influence you in your decision to take your meds. My x divorced me for not taking care of my life and not getting help for this mental affliction. Some people can manage with behavior modification, but others REALLY need their Meds to function. If a DR thinks that you need meds to function, then it is most likely true.

Good luck on this one Matt, we are all pulling for you.

Tim

I had a friend from work, who about a yr ago told me not to take my pills.. dumbest thing ever. we're prescribed them for a reason........ listen to the DR's, not ppl who think they know better. maybe shes scared that you will see thru her or something? i dont know.

I've actually told her that I don't think I have ADD but the medication helps me stay concentrated and helps with school because I am a bit embarassed about admitting that I have ADD.
Maybe this is the thing? You've told her that you don't think you have ADD. Then, maybe she's thinking you're just using Dexedrine to get good marks or something. Like people who take Amphetamine in order to be able to stay up longer and study, etc.

Do you think that if you told her that "Yes I do have ADD" she'd look at it differently?

Hi Matt,
It is always interesting to me when someone gives someone else the responsibility for their wellbeing. HOW is it possible for one 17 y/o girl to stop you from taking your meds? Has she physically removed them and thrown them away? This is Your decision. This is up to You. If are looking for an excuse not to do this or for someone else(like us) to give you the permission you are obviously seeking to Not take your meds then you have apparently come to the wrong place. IF you did not have ADD the meds would not work(this is a proven fact not my opinion) You have admitted they are a benefit to you in your school life; why would you not take this help that is available to you? This is not a case of mind over matter. This is not a mental illness. This a physical condition that may be seen in a brain scan. When you take your meds the effects are visible to the naked eye. Help yourself to succeed at your job of getting through school so you can get on with your life in the most successful why possible. It is up to YOU and you are ultimately the one who will feel the weight of this decision.

BTW: studies have proven that ADD/ADHD individuals on meds are less likely to self medicate with street drugs and alcohol than those not taking meds...

What Roni said.

Some good points in this thread already. I just would like to add that you should probably have a very long talk with her about taking your meds and how you feel when she says the things she does. My guess is that this relationship is not going to be possible on a long term basis, so you might have to face facts and break up, because it's the best thing to do. Of course, being human, she might suprise you, but I wouldn't count on it.

I wasn't on meds during my last marriage, and the only thing I knew how to do superbly was over react. Yeah, he wasn't the best match for me, and I got out after one year, and I don't believe the meds would've helped me see him in a different 'light', lol!.
I have to be on them, and I know that, even when I don't want to be sometimes.
If someone doesn't accept that, I don't accept them. Simple.

They help me sit still for longer durations, not overreact (unless I should, in some instances), and mostly cuts the duration of daily anxiety or depression I normally would encounter. (Mostly, not always), and not be so restless.
They help me not blurt out things, impulsively, which is great, but on the flip side, they also make it difficult for me to articulate my sentences, I end up saying about a few words outloud, and having to keep readjust them to get my point across. Too many choices inside my mind, and now having the 'brakes' I need to not say them all outloud, like I've been known to do...
Of course I don't have to do that with my ADD friends, lol! They get what I'm thinking with just those few words !
Take the meds, and see your doctor regularly. My opinion...
Nova

My doctor told me that dexamphetamine was highly addictive - but so what? now i am better...if i am addicted to anything it is feeling well and being happy.
your girlfriend's concerns are not valid as you are taking a medication to make you better...not a drug to get you high.

If you were in severe pain and given morphine to stop the pain, this would not qualify you as a opiate abuser/addict. Does your girlfriend realise that drugs can be used AND abused?
Your medication removes the 'pain' of adhd...if it is working, then do not let others tell you to stop taking it - they do not know what it is like to have adhd/add unless they have it themselves.