View Full Version : Waxing & Waning- crazy crazy me..

08-08-13, 12:04 PM
My pdoc and I agreed to up my Lamictal. So I realize whenever there's a med change, things get kinda-crazy..

But I'm soo unsettled. I just sit and stare.. Not sure what to do, because I'm afraid I'll flip my lid..

I got a few big decisions to make coming up within the next week and I am not sure I'm competent to make any of them given my mood/swinging.

I got approved for my first apartment and I'm supposed to move in next week. Somehow (I'm still not sure how) I got approved for the $99 first month move-in.
and the rent is $595 all utilities included.. that's awesome by anyone's standards.. but my job is kinda unstable..

and this bf I've been dating for like 6 months wants to move-in. But he doesn't want to work or do anything.. and I can't even carry myself..

I've been off the charts for like 2 weeks- doing things I have no business doing.. and I don't want to be impulsive... idk

I have no furniture, no dishes, nothing and I'm supposed to move into an apt? wtf.

My current home situation is exhausted and I love my grandparents, but it just time to move out.. and do big girl stuff..

I have no one to talk too. Not anyone who can understand my adhd/bipolar mix and help me make good decisions..

I really miss my ex :eek: who used to take care of everything for me.. and it's crazy, we've been texting/calling each other for a few weeks now.. and I just don't know what the heck I'm doing..

One minute I'm confident and bubbly. The next I'm laying in bed paralyzed and sobbing..

My ex knows me all to well and knows my disorders and more importantly- he agrees with them and treats them accordingly. but it's not healthy to turn to my unhealthy ex for support..

What's a girl to do?

This is probably more of a rant.. but it's kind of... idk..

Anyone have any suggestions about the waxing/waning and how to calm **** down to make a decision?

Any advice is appreciated.
Thank you.

08-09-13, 06:17 AM
Lots of decisions.... They say you shouldn't make any big decisions when you are depressed (or manic, I suppose) but for me that means I never make any decisions...

Regarding your current boyfriend I'd go slowly with letting him move in. It sounds like you are doing well (organising an apartment for yourself, etc.) but it sounds like he might not be of that much help to you. Actually, it sounds a bit as if he might depend on you. Till you are feeling more stable, I think, it's more important that you focus on yourself.

Besides, I could be wrong, but it sounds as if you might have some feelings for your ex. Another reason why I wouldn't rush into moving in together with your boyfriend.

Enjoy the new apartment. Hope things get a bit easier for you soon.

Waxing and waning....sigh, that's me too.